by Noelle Adams
“I haven’t seen him hanging out with the others before,” Mrs. Darcy added.
The words jarred Ward’s eyes away from Em. He turned to see exactly who he’d known he’d see beside her.
Frank. Just as blond and well dressed and young and smarmy as he’d been the evening before.
“His name is Frank,” Ward said. “I’m not sure what his last name is. But he owns a small art gallery on Main Street.”
“Oh, yes. He must be the Davison son. Are he and Em dating?”
Ward had to clear his throat around a blockage. “I... don’t know.”
“They’re well matched, don’t you think?”
The words were casual, but Ward’s eyes moved to the older woman’s face, and he saw something there he didn’t understand. Whatever it was made him defensive. He straightened his spine and controlled his voice. “I don’t know him, so I couldn’t say.”
“You’ve known Em for a long time, haven’t you?”
“Yes. Since she was born.”
“It must be strange. To feel like your history should make you almost like family but to not actually be family.”
Ward had no idea what to say to that, but it felt like she was needling too close to his personal angst. “Uh, yeah. I guess it is.”
“Do you ever see two people and immediately know they’re perfect for each other?”
Ward blinked. His eyes flew back to Em and Frank.
And he knew. He knew then.
They were a done deal.
Even strangers could see they belonged together.
He’d lost her. Whatever he had with her before would irrevocably change. He’d known he could never indulge this strange new feeling, but he’d still be happy if he could have her in his life like before.
But even that wouldn’t last.
She wasn’t his.
Now she was Frank’s—no matter how much he suspected the young man could never deserve her.
He had to reconcile himself to this fact, and he had to do it soon.
He couldn’t have Em the way he wanted, so all he could do was try to do his duty by her, as he always had before.
If Frank made her happy, then he would make himself accept it.
His eyes were resting on Em’s face, so he saw when she turned to look at him.
Their eyes held over the distance.
She frowned as if something about his expression had upset her.
Then she turned away and didn’t look back.
TWO HOURS LATER, THE party was over. The caterers and most of the guests had left, and Em was outside on the terrace, picking up a few glasses that had been left there.
The brunch had been a success. Liz, Jane, Vince, and Charlie had all claimed to love it, and everyone seemed to have a good time. Usually Em would have been on a high after a success like that, but she felt heavy and blah and tired.
She wanted to crawl into bed and never come out.
She returned to the kitchen with the glasses and jerked to a stop when she saw Ward. He was alone in front of the sink, washing the china pieces she’d used as serving platters.
“You don’t need to do that,” she said.
His body gave a twitch, as if she’d surprised him. He didn’t turn around though. “I don’t mind. You’ve already done a ton of work for this thing.”
“This thing was a party for my friends.”
“I know.” His face softened. “It was nice of you to do it for them. They seemed to enjoy it.”
“I think they did.” She felt better because his face was kind, almost warm.
“There’s no reason you have to do all the cleanup by yourself.”
“The caterers took care of most of it. Anne would have stayed to help, but she has an afternoon flight she has to get ready for.”
Ward nodded and rinsed off a platter. She took it when he handed it to her and dried it off with a soft dish towel.
“Does this mean you’ve forgiven me?”
Ward’s head jerked over in her direction. “Forgiven you?”
“Yes. You were unhappy with me and were trying to avoid me. You pushed me out last night. So I wondered if your staying to help meant you forgave me.”
“I stayed to help so you wouldn’t have to do everything on your own.” He wasn’t meeting her eyes. “And you don’t need forgiveness from me.”
“But I need it from someone else?”
“I never said that.”
“You as good as said that. You think I’m messing up Riot’s life with my stupid interference.”
“Not stupid.”
“Just interference.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Why is it when you do something, it’s giving good advice. But when I do the same thing, it’s interference?”
He didn’t answer with words, but he slanted a look over at her that was wry and almost amused.
He was trying to make her smile. Trying to relax her. Trying to put their argument to rest.
But Em was too unsettled still to let it go. “Your advice and opinions aren’t always better than mine.”
“I never said they were.”
“Well, you always act like they are. Like you’re always looking down on me from your height of wisdom and knowledge.”
“Maybe since I’ve lived thirteen years longer than you have, I have a little more wisdom and knowledge to draw from.”
“So being older than me means you’re always right and I’m always wrong?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You just act like it. I’d bet you don’t even recognize it. But I’m not a child, Ward. I’m not your little sister.” She leaned toward him, trying to add weight to her claim with the intensity of her expression. “I’m not.”
His eyes met hers, and something changed in his expression. Smoldered. His whole body went tight. “I know you’re not,” he said in a gravelly voice that made her pulse throb.
She stared at him, her lips parting slightly.
He leaned toward her, tilting his head so there was only a few inches between their faces. “I know you’re not a child, Em. I know you’re not my sister.”
“You... you do?” She could hardly catch her breath. Her whole body went hot.
“Yes. I do,” he rasped. His hand moved. It was slightly damp from the water in the sink. It spanned one side of her neck and lower jaw, tilting her face up toward his.
Em felt herself pulsing. Her eyes. Her heart. Between her legs.
She’d never seen Ward like this before. Something was about to happen, and she wanted it so much.
But the extent to which she wanted it terrified her, and she was evidently not brave enough to face it.
She pulled away abruptly. Turned around and walked awkwardly to the cabinet where she stored her china platters.
She took a long time putting the platter in its proper place.
What the hell was wrong with her?
She’d wanted Ward to kiss her just now. She’d been absolutely positive that was what was about to happen.
But it was Ward. Ward. He was like an older brother to her. He was always teasing her and giving her lectures.
He wasn’t the kind of man that you kissed. Ever.
And she must have imagined the moment because there was no way in the world he would want to kiss her.
She was just a little kid to him, and she always would be.
They washed and dried the rest of the dishes in silence. They didn’t say anything at all until Ward was getting ready to leave.
“Thanks for staying to help,” she said, willing herself to sound normal.
“You’re welcome.” His voice was at its natural, even keel again. No trace of the gravel from before.
“I’d like us to be friends again,” she said, twisting her hands together. “Like before.”
It was a long moment before he spoke. “I understand.”
“Do you? Because you seem really unhappy with me lately. I’d thought... I’d
thought you liked me a little.”
“I like you a lot.”
Her eyes lifted to check his face, and she was relieved when he seemed to be sincere. “Do you? Because all you’ve been doing lately is finding fault with me.”
“I don’t mean to be like that. I’m just trying to help. That’s all I’ve ever done.”
She nodded. “I understand that. And I guess I appreciate the sentiment. But I’m a grown woman. If I make mistakes, they’re mine to make. And it’s possible that I might occasionally be right.”
He nodded but didn’t answer.
“So we can be friends again? Like before?” Her heart was fluttering, and she didn’t like it. She wanted to pretend the whole past week with Ward had never happened. She wanted to feel comfortable with him again.
He let out a long breath. “Like before.” He gave another nod—this one slightly jerky. Then he went to the door and reached out to open it.
Instead of turning the knob, he stood like a statue for several seconds.
“Ward?” Em prompted, confused by his behavior.
“I don’t always find fault with you,” he said, not turning around. “I think you’re amazing. The most amazing person I’ve ever known. And nothing is ever going to make me feel differently.”
Em’s mouth dropped open, and she stared at his stiff back. She couldn’t make her voice work, and she had no idea what to say anyway.
After another moment, Ward opened the door, stepped into the hall, and closed it behind him—leaving Em alone with a flurry of emotions that weren’t anything like she used to feel for Ward.
At all.
EM WAS RESTLESS FOR the entire afternoon.
She tried to keep busy. She went to visit a few elderly people she knew in a local nursing home, and she worked on a jigsaw puzzle with her father. Then she took several photos and planned out her Instagram posts for the next week. She would have felt better if she could have hung out with her friends, but Liz and Jane were busy with their fiancés, and Anne was getting ready for a business trip. So at five in the afternoon, she was wandering around the condo aimlessly, searching for something to do. Anything to focus on that felt safe.
She ended up wandering into the empty room where her wedding dress was hanging. Looking at the dress made her think about Ward and how much she’d wanted to kiss him earlier today, so she walked past it to the window.
Looking out at a sharp angle, she could see the parking lot, and she paused when she saw Liz, Jane, Charlie, and Vince talking there next to Vince’s SUV. They must be heading over to the Berkleys’ house. Liz had mentioned they were having dinner with her parents this evening.
The four of them were laughing about something. Vince reached out to slide his arm around Liz’s waist, pulling her against his side in a casual, affectionate gesture.
For some reason—for no good reason—it caused a sharp pang in Em’s chest.
She didn’t even know why, but it hurt. Seeing how happy they were. How in love they were. How together they were.
As if they’d never be lonely again.
She knew rationally it wasn’t true. Loneliness had nothing to do with one’s relational status. Married people got lonely as often as single people.
But it still hurt Em’s heart. As if it were a sign that she’d never have that. She’d always miss out on that part of life.
Something would always be missing.
She didn’t like to feel sorry for herself, but no one was around right now. Just her and a wedding dress she’d never be allowed to wear. She was working herself up to some sniffles when a voice from the doorway made her jump.
“What’s the matter?”
She knew who it was immediately and whirled around to see Ward, wearing jeans and a long-sleeve, gray-blue crewneck. He was frowning in concern.
“Nothing,” she said with a quick smile. “I was just looking out the window.”
“You looked upset.”
“You couldn’t see anything but my back.”
“Your back looked upset.”
Em wondered if it was possible that he’d actually read the mood of her back. “Well, I’m not upset. I was just looking out the window. This is the only window I can see the parking lot from.”
“Why are you looking at the parking lot?” He walked over to stand beside her as he spoke.
“Just seeing what’s going on.” She pitched her tone with a lilt on purpose, so she’d come across as light and casual.
He was standing way too close as he leaned forward to peer in the one angle through the window that showed the parking lot. “Are they going somewhere you want to go too?”
“No! They’re just going to the Berkleys’ for dinner. Why would I want to go with them?”
“I don’t know. You seem like...” His eyebrows were pulled together in his thoughtful frown. “Upset.”
“I said I wasn’t upset. How many times do I have to say it?”
“You can say it as many times as you want. It doesn’t mean I’m going to believe you. All your life, you’ve pretended to be happy, even when you’re about to cry.”
She wasn’t feeling wistful anymore. She was annoyed. Ward had no business coming in here and thinking he could read her mind. Even if he was right, it wasn’t his business. “I’m not about to cry.”
“Not anymore.” His mouth twitched up just slightly. “Now you’re too pissed at me to cry.”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then I guess my job is done.”
She wanted to laugh. Really wanted to laugh. She had to struggle to maintain her frown. “What are you even doing here? How did you get in?”
“Your dad let me in.”
“I didn’t hear the doorbell.”
“I didn’t ring it. I just knocked.”
“Oh. Did you need something?”
“No. I’d just picked up some of that bread your dad likes, so I brought it over for him.”
She sniffed. “Oh. That was nice.”
Ward was giving her that teasing expression—the one that was almost a smile. It was irresistible. “I try to occasionally be nice, even though it’s a real effort for someone as bossy and obnoxious as me.”
She was leaning toward him unconsciously. Her face was just a few inches away from his. “I guess it’s good you keep trying even though it’s a monumental effort.”
Ward chuckled, his blue eyes soft and fond. “I don’t think I used the word monumental.”
“I figured I’d provide the most appropriate word. I try to help out whenever I can.”
“I know you do.” His head was tilted down toward hers, but he seemed to realize his closeness because he gave a little jerk and stepped back. Then he turned back toward the rest of the room. Shaking his head, he murmured, “I’ll never get used to that wedding dress hanging there.”
“Well, it’s not yours to get used to. I do it for me. Not for anyone else. I don’t care if everyone thinks it’s stupid.”
“I never said it was stupid.” His tone had changed, and he was frowning slightly again. “I know it’s not stupid. I know why you have it.”
The entitled familiarity in his tone gave her a weird shiver. “Why do you think I have it then?”
He turned his head suddenly to meet her gaze. “You’re afraid you’re missing out on too much of life, and the dress is a symbol that you can still have some of the things you want.”
The words hit home. Far too sharply. Far too deeply. Em swallowed over a lump. “I’m fine not getting married. I really am. It’s a conscious, reasoned decision, and I’m sure it’s the right one for my situation. But I still wanted a wedding dress.”
“I know. I get it, Em. If you want a wedding dress, then you should have one. You should be able to get the things you want. And if you want to get married, then you should be able to have that too.”
Em sighed. “I don’t need to get married. I have plenty in my life without that. Although I would—” She cut herself off as she processed
what she’d been about to say.
Ward tilted his head to one side. “Although you would what?”
“Nothing.”
“You were going to say something.”
“Yes, I was, but I changed my mind.” She curled her lip in a slight scowl. “I’m allowed to change my mind.”
“And I’m allowed to want to know what you were about to say. There’s something you want that you don’t have. I want to know what it is.”
No one but Ward could do this to her—rile her up to such an extent that she threw off her normal poise and control. “Fine,” she snapped. “You want to know what it is? It’s sex. I’d like to have sex occasionally. Aren’t you happy you asked now?”
She’d thought the admission would make Ward uncomfortable, but his expression wasn’t surprised or awkward. He frowned thoughtfully. “If you want to have sex, then have sex.”
“With who exactly?”
“You’re not that naïve, Em. You can find someone to have sex with if you want, and it doesn’t have to have anything to do with marriage or a serious relationship. A lot of guys would think it’s a plus that you don’t want that.”
“I know that. I’m not naïve at all. But I don’t want to just pick up some guy from a bar. I haven’t had a lot of sex in my life, but when I have, it’s been with men I know and like and am attracted to. I don’t want to have sex with a stranger. That doesn’t feel like me at all. But getting a guy from being a stranger to being someone I know and like and want to have sex with is the problem.” She couldn’t believe she was actually talking about this with Ward, but it was strangely exciting.
Like he was finally acknowledging she wasn’t a child anymore.
“I see.” He seemed to really thinking through the problem. “You could just do normal dating things and explain what you’re looking for to the guys you meet.”
“Right. Sure. And what kind of guys do you think I’m going to attract if I advertise I’m just looking for casual sex? I’ll end up with all the assholes.”
Ward chuckled. “Okay. I see your predicament. But I still think you could work something out if it’s something you really want.”