by Noelle Adams
She might be somewhat inexperienced with men, but she wasn’t blind or stupid. She wouldn’t fail to notice his condition.
She would be horrified. More upset than she’d been about Frank.
It would be the one thing that would rip her away from him for good.
He needed to do anything possible to prevent it from happening, including pushing her away when she needed him the most.
He was telling himself to do it—gently ease her away from his body with the pretense of getting up and doing something—when her hand started to move from where she’d been holding on to his side.
It moved to run across his bare belly. He really should be wearing a shirt. Her touch felt so good on his bare skin that his breath hitched. His half erection was hardening fast, unrelenting. Her hand was caressing him so close to where desire was throbbing.
She adjusted her position at his side so she was looking down at her hand. Then she slid it lower. To the waistband of his pants.
“Em.” His voice was a broken rasp.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was soft. Almost tender.
“Tell you wha—” The word broke off with a loud gasp when her hand moved farther down so she was rubbing his groin through the flannel.
“Tell me that you felt this way.”
His body was on fire now. Throbbing to the rhythm of his arousal. “That I get turned on?”
“By me. I told you I was stupid about men. I didn’t know.” She was rubbing him confidently now, her fingers wrapped around the shape of his erection through his pants.
It felt so good—so much what he wanted—that he lifted his hips into her touch unconsciously and let out a low groan. “I didn’t... didn’t know either. Until recently. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Because it’s... wrong.” His body was helpless in the wake of her touch. His hips were pumping very slightly as she squeezed and pulled.
“Why is it wrong?” She let him go without warning, and he would have been disappointed, but she straddled his lap just then, pressing her upper body against his. “It doesn’t feel wrong to me.”
“But we’re not... we’re not...”
“We’re a man and a woman. We’re not related. What else matters?” Her eyes were huge and hot and excited and strangely vulnerable at the same time. Like he could hurt her. Like it would take very little for him to hurt her.
He wouldn’t hurt her for the world. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. I know you’re upset. I don’t want there to be any pressure. We don’t have to—”
“I want to.” The words were almost a whisper as she leaned down so her lips were just a breath away from his. “I told you last week that I wished I could have sex. It just never occurred to me it could be with you.”
“We don’t have to—”
“But I want to. I didn’t know it until exactly now, but I want to so much.”
His vision nearly whited out in the rush of need and excitement. It was almost too much to handle. “Are you sure, sweetheart? Because if you’re counting on me to stop us before we go too far, I don’t think I’m strong enough to do it. Not unless you tell me no.”
“I don’t want you to stop.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “Ward, please.”
He let go of his resistance with a rough groan and grabbed her face, pulling it down into a hard kiss.
The kiss was like nothing he’d ever experienced before. Like all his pent-up feelings finally had an outlet. It filled him. Overwhelmed him. He was rocking like a wave beneath the weight of her body as their lips moved together and then his tongue moved into her mouth.
She was grinding herself against his groin, and the pressure was doing aching, irresistible things to the knot of his arousal. His hands were moving over her body now. Feeling her tight, shapely ass over her trousers. Sliding down to her firm thighs pressed around his. Moving up to feel her breasts over the softness of her sweater.
“Ward, I can’t wait,” she gasped against his mouth. “I feel like I’m going to lose it any second.”
“Okay. Okay.” He was trying to catch his breath too. Trying to make his mind work clearly so he didn’t mess this up. “Let me up for a minute to get a condom.”
She made a sound in her throat and then swung her leg off him, falling in a heap on the couch. It took more effort than he knew he possessed to haul himself to his feet and limp into his bedroom.
He opened a drawer in his nightstand and stood looking down at the small box of condoms. It had been a long time since he’d used them.
He tried to even out his breath as he stood there.
This was it. If he got a condom and went back to where Em was waiting, this wouldn’t just be something that happened to him. It wouldn’t be them getting carried away and not thinking through consequences.
It would be a choice. His choice.
There would be no excuses.
He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but he was surprised by a voice behind him.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to do this, Ward.”
He turned with a jerk to see Em standing in his bedroom, looking gorgeous and rumpled and so incredibly vulnerable. “I do want to do this. Obviously.”
“But if you’ve changed your mind, I’d... I’d understand. I don’t want you to feel pressured into it just because I’m having a bad night.”
He almost laughed at the irony. Then he reached down to get a condom packet and closed the nightstand drawer. “I don’t feel pressured. I just don’t want you to feel pressured either.”
She smiled, utterly alluring. “It seems like neither of us feels pressured, so we can go ahead and proceed before I erupt right here in the middle of the floor.”
He laughed. He couldn’t help it. And as he did, he closed the distance between them and then swung her up into his arms. “I don’t mind if you want to erupt a little.”
She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face filled with affection. Trust. “It will be more fun if we can erupt together.”
“That’s a deal.”
He laid her on the bed gently and moved over her, kissing her soundly before he started to take off her clothes. He kissed and caressed her as he did, so she was flushed all the way to her belly and squirming with arousal when she was finally naked beneath him.
“Ward,” she gasped, tugging at his hair. He was pressing kisses into her belly, surrounded by the heady scent of her desire. “I’ve been ready for a long time now.”
“Is that right?” He lifted his head so he could see her face as he felt between her legs. She was very wet. Very hot. One finger slid inside her, and she clung to it eagerly. Her face twisted in pleasure as he rubbed her inner walls. “It feels like maybe you are.”
“I told you I was. You need to start believing me.”
“I prefer to investigate things for myself.”
“Well, if you’re done with your investigation, I think you can move on.”
“Move on? I thought you wanted to erupt.”
“I...” She gasped as he slid a second finger in to join the first. “I... do.”
“So maybe you can erupt right now.”
He watched her for a minute as he pumped his fingers, intoxicated by her responsiveness, the way she arched and moaned. Then he lowered his head so he could suckle at one breast, and she started to whimper helplessly. Her inner muscles tightened around his fingers.
She was so close. He could feel it. Her breathing was becoming ragged and she couldn’t keep her hips still.
He wanted to make her feel as good as possible, so he kept his pace slow, extending her climb to orgasm.
“Oh God,” she gasped. “It’s so... it’s so...”
He grunted out a wordless question, wanting her to complete the thought.
“It’s so good. You’re making me feel so good. So good.” She was almost babbling, and he’d never heard her like this. Her fingers were clutching the back of his shoulders like
she needed to hang on.
He gave her tight nipple a hard flick and started to move his hand faster, harder.
She arched her gorgeous neck and closed her eyes as she cried out.
He raised his head so he could watch her come. It didn’t take long. Her mouth opened in a silent scream as her body shook helplessly. She clamped down hard around his fingers.
He kept pushing against the contractions until her body started to relax. Then he pulled his hand away and readjusted his position so he could kiss her softly.
She gasped against his mouth. “I didn’t expect... expect...”
“What didn’t you expect?”
“It to be that good.”
“Why wouldn’t it be good?”
“Sex is never that good for me.”
He frowned. “Why not?”
“I don’t know. I told you I don’t have much experience. And I guess I was doing it with the wrong men before.”
He chuckled and kissed her again. “Maybe that was it.”
They kissed slowly, gently, until he could feel her body recovering. Eventually she felt tighter and hotter. More eager. Like she was ready for more.
He got off the bed, shucked his pants, and ripped open the condom packet.
She was staring at him greedily as he rolled it on.
“Anything you’d like to say?” he asked, as he climbed back on the bed and moved between her legs.
“Just that you’ve got nothing to worry about in the penis department.” Her tone was so wry and Em-like that he burst into helpless laughter.
“You keep making me laugh, and it’s not going to last as long as you want it to.”
“It can last as long as you want it to. I’ve already had mine.”
“Who’s to say you can’t have even more?”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
He frowned. “Of course, really. Why shouldn’t you come again?”
“Well, we can try.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and bent her legs around his hips.
He smiled back at her. “Yes. We can try.”
He entered her slowly, edging in carefully so he wouldn’t hurt her. She felt deliciously tight, but her body stretched easily around him, and he couldn’t hold back a groan when he was inside her all the way.
“How is it?” he asked hoarsely.
“It’s good. You feel so good.” She lifted her hips. “I want you to move.”
“I will move.”
“I want you to move now.”
“Give me a minute.”
“I don’t want to wait a minute. I want you to move right now.”
He couldn’t help but chuckle as he started to thrust slowly, getting used to being inside her and making sure he wasn’t going to lose it too soon.
Em was hot and eager beneath him, urging him on with her fingernails down his back and her hips rocking up to meet his thrusts.
It was too much. Way too much. That she wanted him this much. That she couldn’t seem to get enough.
“You’re too slow,” she gasped after a few minutes. “Why are you so slow?”
“I don’t want it to be over before it starts.”
“It’s already started. And I need more. I need...”
He leaned down to kiss her. “What do you need?”
“I need it fast. Hard!”
A surge of possessive pleasure overtook him, and there was no way to hold himself back after that. He sped up his rhythm, pushing into her in fast, rigorous pumps. She cried out in pleasure and met his accelerated speed. They gasped and grunted and shook the bed with the force of their motion together.
As the coiled pressure in his balls intensified, he sounded like some kind of primal creature. He pushed her knees toward her shoulders so her long legs were folded up and he was deeper inside her.
She was loud now. Helpless. Her face twisted as she cried out, begging him to take her harder, to make her come.
When the orgasm hit her, it shook her whole body. She tightened around him so much he could barely pull out. He pushed against her a few more times until the pleasure tightened like a fist and then released.
He wasn’t sure what he said as he came or if he said anything at all.
He just knew that this was Em. And she was who he wanted more than anything.
And that he’d finally been able to be with her in a way he’d never dreamed was possible.
She’d said she wanted to have sex. Not that she wanted romance. So he understood perfectly what had just happened between them.
Sex. Companionship. Understanding. That was all it was.
Not love and commitment.
And it was fine. He’d tried love and commitment, and it hadn’t worked for him. This was better. Safer. More like the man he was now—one without any romantic dreams left in his soul.
Em was more important to him than anyone else, and she’d wanted to have sex with him.
Maybe she would want it again.
If a moment of pure satisfaction was possible in his broken world, the moment was happening right now.
Five
EM STRETCHED LAZILY under the covers, feeling better than she had in ages.
Maybe having sex was good for one’s health.
Her body was tired and slightly sore, but it was also satisfied in a way it usually wasn’t.
She’d enjoyed last night more than she could have imagined. Who would have thought Ward Knightley was so good in the bedroom?
And who would have thought Em would ever want him that way?
She certainly hadn’t. It had never even occurred to her until she’d realized he was growing aroused. Then suddenly all the rising tension she’d been feeling around him for the past weeks made perfect sense.
She was attracted to him. He wasn’t just a bossy, older-brother type to her after all. It had been a revelation.
But a good one. One that had made sense of her previous confusion.
It was getting light in the room, so she knew it must be morning. She rolled onto her other side to Ward’s side of the bed. He was awake, his head turned slightly in her direction, the covers pushed down toward his waist.
He had a very good chest. Real and natural and masculine. His hair was kinked wildly, and his expression was sober and thoughtful.
She had no idea what he was thinking.
She smiled at him, relieved when he immediately smiled back.
She adjusted herself on her side, pulling the covers up so her breasts weren’t hanging out there in the open air. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Last night was... unexpected.” She’d fallen asleep soon after they’d had sex the night before, so they hadn’t gotten the chance to talk about anything important.
“It was for me too.” He turned onto his side so he was facing her. “I’d never dreamed that would ever happen between us.”
“But you’d been thinking about it?”
“For the past week or two. No longer. I promise I haven’t been lusting after you since you were a teenager.”
She gave a breathy laugh. “I know that, Ward. I know you’re not like that. I just don’t... don’t know where this leaves us.”
She’d always been a direct, honest person, and it seemed particularly important that she was so now. Ward was too important to play games in this, even to protect herself.
He didn’t answer immediately. He knit his lips together as if he were thinking. “Where do you want it to leave us?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It changes things. Of course it does. But it doesn’t change everything. I mean, you’re still you, and I’m still me. And I’m... Well, we both know romance isn’t really for me.”
He nodded slowly. “Yes.”
Her stomach twisted with something like nerves. “You’ve never seemed too excited about romance yourself. I mean, after your divorce and everything.”
“You’re right.”
“So should we just... just call this a onetime thing? Wo
uld that be the smartest thing? You’re too important to me to mess things up between us. That’s the last thing I want to happen.”
“It’s the last thing I want to happen too.” His blue eyes were resting on her face with an unnerving scrutiny.
She really wished he’d offer more of an opinion. “So what do you want?”
“I want whatever is going to make you most comfortable. The last thing I want to do is put any pressure on you about something like this.”
His slightly gruff words made her feel better. She could see where he was coming from now. And it sparked an undeniable excitement inside her. She sat up, pulling the sheet with her since she was still naked. “So if you did what you wanted to do, you’d put pressure on me?”
Ward frowned and sat up too. “I just said I didn’t want to put pressure on you.”
“I know what you said. I’m saying that implies that you want to do something that might put pressure on me.” Her lips were wobbling slightly as she tried to hide a smile. “So you want to have sex again?”
He blinked. “Of course I want to have sex again.”
“Really?”
“You’re surprised? Why wouldn’t I want to have sex with you again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was just a passing urge. Or maybe our situation makes things too sticky for you. It seems like a reasonable question. Sometimes guys are satisfied having sex just the one time. At least in my experience.”
Heat kindled in his eyes. “Guys who are satisfied with just one time haven’t had sex like we had last night. No guy in the world would be satisfied with just doing that once.”
She giggled. “Well, that’s a generalization you couldn’t possibly support with evidence.”
“You want to bet?”
She reached out and stroked his bristly cheek with one hand. “I don’t know, Ward. You want to keep having sex? You think we can do that?”
“I think we can do anything you want to do. You’re not going to lose me, no matter what happens. So if that’s what you’re worried about, then don’t. If you want to have sex again, I’m game.”
She nodded, feeling like life had just opened up to her in a way it had never been before. She and Ward didn’t need hearts and roses. They didn’t need a wedding dress in the future. They cared about each other, and they were good in bed together.