He looks so cool in his sleek, black jacket and that damn hat. I love that hat. It pulls over his head and just above his eyebrows. Those eyes draw me in, and I feel like they’re always focused on me. We haven’t seen each other all week, which seems like a lifetime, and he greets me with a gentle kiss.
“Thanks for coming with me,” I tell him as I pull away from the kiss. I want to keep kissing him but I have shopping to do.
“No problem. I’ve done this stuff with my sister before. Truth be told, I kind of like it.”
“You do?” Never have I met a man who enjoyed clothes shopping with a girlfriend. The thought halts me for a moment. Am I his girlfriend? As he brushes his lips against mine again, he confirms it.
“Yeah. My mom always took my sister for this kind of stuff, and after she passed away, I kind of stepped in. Her husband would have, I’m sure, but taking Abby and her shopping and letting them both be princesses for a day kind of became our thing. I was glad to do it.”
My heart overflows with how sweet this man is. He loves so much, gives so much. I can’t let this go too far. I’m not like Carly, meeting someone and a year later saying “I do” in a wedding planned so fast it makes your head spin. No way. Marriage may never even be on the table for me. My parents made sure of that.
“That’s really sweet. You and your sister are close, aren’t you?”
“Yep. Very close. We never were until after Mom died. I mean, we got along and everything, but we weren’t friends. Now I’d say we’re friends, if not best friends. Our dad up and left town after she passed, and we’ve barely seen him since.”
“Are you sad about that?” Part of me thinks I’m a horrible person because I don’t have a relationship with my dad. We used to. He’d take me to the race track during the summer. Outside of race season, we’d go to the go-karting place and compete against each other. This lasted for a few years after he and Mom divorced, but eventually, we saw each other less and less. When he started dating seriously younger women, I put distance between us. I love him—he’s my father—but it hasn’t been the same since.
He shrugs. “Sometimes, I guess. I mean, he’s my dad. I only wish he hadn’t been such a coward that last year. He could have taken advantage of the time we had left but instead, he pulled away. I forgive him though.”
“You do?”
“Of course. I can’t fault him for being scared and running away. Do I think he made the right choice? No. Do I wish he was more present in our lives now? Yes. Still, it’s not my place to judge.”
I can’t be as forgiving as Landon is. He’s a better person than me. I have more closure with my dad than with Hunter. I’m still so mad at him. If Hunter needed the money, he should have come to me or our mom. It was his fault he pissed away his money to try to keep up with the Joneses. He made the choice to steal from our mother. It’s all on him.
I hold my forefinger and thumb up. “Don’t you judge him just a little?”
“Not anymore. I did. When my mom passed away and he couldn’t be there for us, I was upset. He left the funeral early and didn’t even attend the burial. I mean, who does that? It wasn’t until a few years later I realized that a man with his heart so broken he can barely deal with the truth does.”
I blow out a breath. I’m amazed at how he views the situation with his dad. I’ve tried to be forgiving when it comes to my family but I can’t find it within me. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why my father needs to be with someone so young and why my brother resorts to stealing from his family.
Maybe I’m ashamed. And shame is an awful thing to live with.
“I wish I were so understanding. I find it hard to let things go sometimes, especially when people I love are hurt because of it. Including me.”
“You’ll get there in time. Trust me.”
“I highly doubt that.”
My body tingles when he touches my knee. “You will.”
“How do you do it, Landon? You’re such a stand-up guy. You tell it like it is, but there’s so much love behind it no one can ever take offense or be upset by it.”
“Is that what you think of me?”
“It’s what I know.” I flip through my memory file of people I’ve met through the years. No one even comes close to comparing to Landon. The whole package is sitting in my car okay with spending the day shopping for dresses with me and stopping off at Carly’s florist (that part he doesn’t know yet, but I’m more than positive he’ll be okay with it). “I’ve never known anyone quite like you.”
His silence puts me on alert. It’s not as though I expect a response but he always has something to respond with. What is he thinking about as he stares out the window when we reach the mall parking lot? Is he regretful he came with me? It’s driving me crazy not knowing what is going through his mind.
“Thanks, Jules. That means a lot. And the feeling is mutual. You’re incredible.”
My heart skips a beat as I catch my breath. Good save. This is the start of something. I can feel it. I’ve always wanted something just like this. And now it may finally have arrived.
I find a spot about halfway down the third row. A weekend in December? You bet the lot is packed full. And how I managed to not be on the schedule with Santa is beyond me, but I’m happy I can spend this time with Landon.
“Are you ready? Because I plan on trying on a bazillion dresses.”
He reaches over and places his hand on mine. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
15
Landon
Juliette twirls around, the multi-colored skirt rising and falling as she spins. This outfit qualifies as the most hideous one I have ever seen, yet it still looks beautiful on her. She’d be gorgeous in a trash bag.
“What do you think? Is this the one?” She rotates once more. If she keeps it up, I’m going to get dizzy.
I put my finger to my lips and cock my head to one side and then the other, pretending to evaluate the outfit, though in my head I’m screaming how horrific it is. How much honesty does she want? In my defense, she praised my candor less than thirty minutes prior. If I’m candid, she can’t really get upset, can she?
“Um…well…” I can’t bring myself to state either way. I can’t lie, and I don’t want to tell the truth. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings even if that’s what she’s asking me to do. I think about Courtney standing in her place. What would she expect from me? Would the truth earn me a punch on the shoulder or the silent treatment? Courtney and Juliette are a lot alike, both independent, capable women with high expectations. Courtney expects the truth. Always.
“Come on, now. Be honest.” Her finger is almost in my face now, her lips pinched together so hard I want to kiss them. If I do that, she’ll be so distracted she’ll forget what she’s asking me. Hm. Maybe I’m onto something.
The way she emphasizes the word honest, though, I know what I have to do. I take a deep breath. “No. I don’t like it. It’s the ugliest dress in the entire world. I mean, you…you look amazing in it, but it’s a truly horrible dress.”
“Thank you.” She curtseys with a smile. “You passed my test.”
“Test? What test?” Whatever it is, I’m glad I didn’t fail. Though if I had, would she keep me after class for detention? My mind is wandering again, but it’s hard not to when I’m with Juliette.
“Do you really think I find this dress pretty? I picked out the most unsightly dress I could to test your response. If you told me you loved it, I’d know you were lying. So, now that I can trust your opinion, I can trust you.”
“I thought you already trusted me.”
“Yes, but it’s hard to find an honest man when it comes to clothes. They all walk on eggshells. Trust me, if I ask how I look, I want to know. I don’t want to make a fool of myself! You’ve passed.”
Slick. Now I know not to pad the truth to spare her feelings for things like this. If I do, I’m only hurting her in the long run. Lesson learned.
Julie
tte disappears behind the curtain again. Only her feet and a few inches of her legs are visible. I catch my breath when the dress falls to the floor. I imagine her behind the curtain, standing there in only her underwear and bra. I glance around the store. Would anyone notice if I went in there? I imagine being in the dressing room with her, kissing her, she’s pressed up against the wall, and our mouths are lost on each other, her leg wrapped around my waist.
“How’s this?”
The curtain whips open, and she steps out behind it wearing a cute pink dress with a belt. I can’t breathe for a moment as my eyes move up and down her body. Every curve, every outline of her muscular body, down to her strong calves makes me bite the inside of my cheek. “Wow.”
“Just wow?”
“Just? Jules, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and in that dress…” I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her close. “Wow,” I repeat myself as I softly press my lips to hers. She trips where she’s standing, but catches herself when she attaches her hand to my bicep. I pretend not to notice when she squeezes it.
We pull apart, and I ache for more, wanting to keep touching her. I reach out to her, but she steps back into the dressing room.
“Nope. There are about fifteen more dresses in here.”
“That’s the one. You don’t need to try any more on.”
“Yes, I do. I know you like it but I want to be sure this is the right one.”
It is. She knows it is, and so do I. Still, I can watch her do this all day. “By all means keep trying them on, and with every amazing dress, I promise to kiss you again.”
She blows me a kiss before she shuts the curtain again. It’s then I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn my head, and my ex-boss Jeff Quinn stands next to me holding a purse.
“The wife’s trying on a few things. I’m the designated purse holder.” He pats the clutch. “One day this will be you,” he mutters.
I don’t tell him that if it ends up being Juliette, I won’t mind one bit. I’ll carry her purse for her anywhere.
“So, how are you doing?” Jeff tilts his head to the side, a pity look if I’ve ever seen one. “Have you found anything yet?”
I should tread lightly here. I want him to think I’m doing well without him and that entire company. So many years of my life down the drain. Sure, I’ve gained experience, and Jeff will give me a glowing recommendation if I ask, but sometimes I still can’t believe I don’t walk through those doors anymore. My routine has been completely interrupted, and I don’t know what to do with myself.
“No, nothing yet. I’m doing some searching, possibly exploring some other options.”
“Oh? Like what?”
Shoot. While I’ve considered what it would be like to be in business for myself, I haven’t gone beyond the simple thought. I joked with Juliette about pyramid schemes and door-to-door salesman type of stuff. We weren’t being serious. What can I even do with my skill set?
“I don’t want to say yet. Nothing is official.”
“Don’t tell me you’re superstitious.” I catch a roll of his eye before Juliette comes out of the dressing room with another gown on.
“Aren’t you stunning?” Jeff says before I even have an opportunity.
Juliette looks at me for an explanation, her eyes squinted together, her face contorted in confusion.
“Juliette, this is Jeff. He was my manager at my previous job. Jeff, this is Juliette, my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend? I didn’t know Landon was dating anyone.”
She shakes his hand but pulls it away quickly. “We met recently. It’s nice to meet you. I’m going to change out of this. I think I’ll stick with the first dress.”
“Excellent choice,” I remind her. That dress puts all other dresses to shame.
Juliette returns to the dressing room to change while Jeff and I exchange our goodbyes. When she exits, she puts the dresses she’s not interested in on the rack provided.
“How are you doing?” She reaches her arm around my back.
“What do you mean?”
“That must have been awkward running into him. Are you okay?”
I think about this for a moment, not sure how to answer her. Why am I afraid to tell Jeff I haven’t found a job yet? Am I that embarrassed? All I do know is that seeing Jeff puts things into perspective a bit more. The new year is coming, and I’m stuck in the past.
I give Juliette a long, hard kiss. “You bet,” I tell her, knowing more than anything she’s my future.
16
Juliette
The iron gurgles as I set it down on the ironing board next to my dress. Yesterday I had such a lovely time with Landon picking out my dress and even going to Carly’s florist. The wedding is a few months away yet, but I’d rather iron it now and hang it in my closet all set to go. I texted a photo to Carly, and she loves it, which is the most important thing.
The doorbell rings so I leave the iron out on the board as I make my way to the front door. I slide the curtain to the side. “Landon!” I unlock the door to let him in.
Instead of walking through the door, he kisses me first and then steps around the corner of my porch. I peek my head over, and he comes back into view with a huge box. I step outside into the cold air to hold the door as he maneuvers his way through, plopping the box onto the ground.
“What’s this?” The tall and rectangular box is bulky and takes up a lot of space in my entryway. He glances at the front and when there is nothing identifying the contents on it, he turns it around so I can see the picture on the front.
“You brought me a Christmas tree?” What am I supposed to do with this? I’ve never owned a tree, and I don’t intend to start now. What on earth would make him bring me a tree?
“I sure did. You told me you don’t have one. I thought I’d help you out.”
“That’s really sweet of you.” There’s no good way to get out of this one. Whether or not I want the tree, I have to accept it. Even though I don’t celebrate Christmas, my mom always taught me that when you’re given a gift, you don’t refuse it. So I won’t.
“What’s that smell?”
“What?” I stick my nose in the air, and it takes a moment for the hot smell of burning fabric to register with my brain. Crap! “My dress!” I race back to my bedroom where the iron has fallen over and onto my gown for Carly’s wedding. Why didn’t I shut it off? I grab the iron and switch the off button. Thankfully, no flames, but there’s a hole right in the middle of my dress. The tears well up in my eyes until they explode.
“Is everything okay?” Landon says behind me. I didn’t know he’d followed me back to my room.
“Well, my dress is ruined.”
“Be thankful it wasn’t any worse.”
“You’re right.” I pick up the dress and stick my hand through the hole, bunch it up, and throw it on the floor. I should be thankful a fire didn’t break out in my home. This could have been a terrible tragedy when in reality it’s only a ruined dress.
“The good news is you can probably buy the same one.”
“For another two hundred dollars.” I sigh. I hate wasting money. “I can’t believe I did this. Normally I’m such a careful person. I blame you for coming to my door.”
“You do?”
“Yes.” I smile. “This is all your fault.” I step up to him and press my finger into his chest. “Your fault.”
“Well, then, I gladly take the blame.”
He reaches down and kisses me, and I forget about the moments before when I was crying and shaming myself for what I did. His hand moves up and down my back as he kisses me harder. Before I even give myself a chance to think about it, I sit down on the bed, and he lays me back. God, how can I feel so close to someone I just met? This is what I’ve always searched for and never could find. I never let my guard down long enough to allow something like this to happen. When I’m with Landon my guard disappears.
We say nothing to each other, lost in our passion. My shi
rt comes off, and his pants slide down, and before I can take a second to breathe, he’s inside of me. I’ve never done this so fast, been with a man, but with Landon I feel as though I’ve known him for years, like we’ve been waiting our lives for this moment.
And this moment has arrived.
* * *
I can’t believe it’s already almost noon. My shift at the mall starts at one. I’d rather lie in Landon’s arms all afternoon. Why isn’t that possible? I make my way out of bed, pull on my underwear, and search for my elf costume.
“Are you staring at me?” I can feel his eyes on me, and I like it.
“What can I say except that I enjoy the view?”
I’m blushing, and I’m sure even though he can’t see my face, he knows I am. He has a way of making my cheeks hot and body even hotter.
“I hate to kick you out but I need to go to work.” I never want him to leave. Stay with me forever, I want to say. What am I thinking? I want something like this, and the fact I may finally have it is scary because I can lose it at any moment.
“Sure, you only want to use me as your boy toy—toss me away as soon as you can.”
“I’ve never had a boy toy in my entire life.“ My sexual experience isn’t lacking, but I don’t necessarily qualify for slut status either. And I don’t even know if I believe in that word. A woman has the right to do what she wants with her body, and if having an active sex life is what she wants, then who am I to judge?
“Well, if the position ever opens up I’d like to apply.” He sneaks up behind me and buries his head in my neck. I reach my arm around and run my fingers through his hair. His hand makes its way up my stomach and around to my breast.
“I really do have to get ready for work even though I’d much rather be doing this.”
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