by Debra Dunbar
Luckily she refused to break into a run, and I was elf-fast. I darted around her, hands outstretched as I blocked the path. “It’s not what you think.”
“I think you were picking up that guy,” she shot back. “Your boyfriend is due back any moment, and you’re going to screw some beach-bar pickup. That’s sick. What would he think if he found out?”
“It wouldn’t bother him.” Shit. I might as well tell her the truth — or at least as much of the truth as I reasonably could. “In fact, he’d be happy I did. I’d tell him all about it while we got ready for dinner. He knows.”
She backed a step away, still looking disgusted. “So you’re some kind of nympho with a sexual addiction, and you’re boyfriend is okay with it?”
Sort of, but not really. “I love him. I love Irix, but we both have sex with other people. We’re not exclusive.”
Her mouth opened wide. “You’re swingers? You and your boyfriend do other people, and that’s okay?”
Shit. Judging by her expression, being a swinger was a hair’s breadth from being a heartless cheater or a crazy sex-addicted nymphomaniac.
“I know it sounds weird. I don’t normally tell people because this is the kind of reaction I get. There’s what Irix and I share together, and there is just sex with other people.”
She frowned, scuffing a sneakered foot along the brick pathway. “I’ve had my share of one-night stands and bar pickups, but never when I’ve had a boyfriend or girlfriend.”
I seized on that thread. “Because exclusivity was part of your relationship. It’s not with ours. We’re okay with this. He and I both have sex with other people, and it doesn’t damage or threaten what we share at all. In fact, it adds to it.” Adds to it because we’re both alive, which we eventually wouldn’t be if we starved ourselves to death.
Kai took a breath and met my eyes. “You’re okay with this. The man you love is out right now having sex with other women, and you don’t feel hurt or jealous? Because I would.”
“I....” Damn, I was trying to be honest here. “I used to be, and every now and then I still am. Not about the sex but about his time and attention. I haven’t seen him in six months, and I want to spend every moment with him, but that’s not reasonable. That’s me being a clingy, weird girlfriend. Once he’s been back for a few weeks, we’ll settle into a routine, and it will all be okay. Really.”
She gave me an odd look. “Did you want to pick up that guy at the bar, or did you feel like you had to, because your boyfriend expects you to?”
Here’s where the difficult part came in. Do I tell her that I have to do this, not because Irix expects me to, but because it’s my genetic imperative? Or do I lie and say how much I love banging strange guys?
I went with the truth. Sort of.
“I do this because I need to, not because of Irix. Even if he wasn’t my boyfriend, I would still be picking up guys. I can’t be monogamous in a relationship. Ever. It’s just the way I’m put together.”
Sorrow, that’s what I saw in the depths of Kai’s dark eyes. I felt it too. I didn’t want to be this way, but over the last six months, I’d learned to accept it. Maybe someday I’d actually be able to embrace it, as Irix did.
“I’m sorry you saw me picking up Ken, or Rick, or whatever his name is. Please don’t let it ruin our friendship,” I pleaded, my voice husky with emotion. I liked her, really liked her. Heck, if she didn’t have the no-guests policy, and I didn’t want to hurt her, I’d probably be rolling in the sheets with her right now. And that idea appealed a whole lot more to me than screwing that blond dude at the bar.
Kai took a jagged breath. “I don’t want to seem a prude. I mean, what happens between consenting adults and all that.... A friend of mine likes to be spanked, so I kind of see why this sort of thing is embarrassing for others to know.”
“Have dinner at the luau with Irix and me tonight, and you’ll see he’s completely okay with that. In fact, he encourages it. And you’ll see we’re both normal people.”
“Well....”
I seized on her indecision. “Kai, I swear I’m the same person you’ve been palling around with all morning. I won’t mention this again unless you bring it up, and I promise that neither of us will hit on you or make you feel embarrassed in any way. Join us for dinner, and you’ll see we’re just a regular couple. I promise.”
Her brown eyes were dark as they scanned mine. “Okay. I guess you want to get back to Ken?”
I’d be low on energy, especially with my promise not to pick up anyone tonight in front of her at the luau, but this was important. “No. I don’t want to go back to Ken. I want to go to that little tiki bar over there with my friend and talk about shoes or purses or something while we drink something alcoholic.”
A smile twitched across Kai’s lips. “Okay, but you’re buying. And shoes are awesome, but I don’t do purses. Just sayin’”.
***
“How long have you been back?” I was embarrassed to find Irix in our room, sitting on the porch reading a stack of papers. My papers. Good grief, he was reading my thesis draft. He leaned his chair back on two legs and gave me a heart-stopping smile.
“An hour. I saw you earlier but didn’t want to interrupt you. Nice choice, by the way.”
Huh? I forgot about Irix actually finding a hundred pages of downy mildew research interesting and scoured my memory. “Yeah. I love margaritas, but the ginger really takes it in a whole different direction. I’d have thought tequila too strong a flavor profile for ginger root, but they balance out nicely.”
“I mean your choice of partner. I know you tend to take the diet approach to your succubus desires, and I’m pleased you picked a quality candidate to bestow your affections upon this time.”
What was he talking about? I hadn’t managed to ‘get-er-done’ with Ken... errr Rick, but maybe he’d seen me when that waiter had given me the eye? “Umm, it didn’t exactly happen. I promise that tomorrow I’ll double up. Today just got a bit away from me, and I’d really like to spend the rest of it with you, not trolling for partners.”
I smiled to take the abruptness out of my words, but Irix’s hands tightened on the arms of his chair.
“Amber, that woman you were with was perfect, and she was very receptive. Why didn’t you have sex with her?”
Oh shit, he meant Kai. “Well, she’s a woman, and I don’t have sex with women. Plus she doesn’t have sex with guests at the resort. Kai is my paddleboarding instructor.”
Irix tilted his head to the side, eyebrows arching upward. “Let me get this straight; you took a lesson from her and either went on to spend the entire day with her or arrange to meet up later for drinks, and you somehow managed to find out she doesn’t have sex with guests even though you’re not attracted to women.”
Yeah, that summed it up. And made me sound like a complete hypocrite. I squirmed, plopping down in the seat across from him to hide my discomfort. “Okay, I’ll admit I thought about making an exception, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t want a one-night stand, and I don’t want to hurt her.”
He watched me for a moment, and I felt as though he could see right down inside my soul. “She doesn’t want meaningless sex.”
“Yes, exactly.” I was so relieved Irix got it.
“Amber, what we do doesn’t have to be meaningless. In fact, it shouldn’t be meaningless. That’s what I mean about your fast-food diet. That sort of thing is okay when you’re in a hurry or it’s all that’s available, but when there are quality partners right in front of you, don’t choose the greasy hamburger.”
“It’s not about me; it’s about her. I don’t want to hurt her. I can tell there’s something between us, and I don’t want to take advantage of that and leave someone nice, someone I actually like, pining over me and filled with desire they can never truly quench, or hurt by my love ‘em and leave ‘em ways.”
Irix studied me a while longer. “Longing, memories that fill a person with emotion and stir their heart
aren’t always bad things. With finesse, with a spirit of true affection, what we do is a beautiful thing. I just wish you saw it that way instead of some dirty chore you needed to do each day.”
I felt horrible, like I’d let him down somehow, like I was disrespecting who and what he was. He was right, though. It was a dirty chore to me, like taking out the garbage or eating my spinach. And I just couldn’t see it any other way.
“I don’t want things to be awkward between Kai and me. I like her as a friend, and I don’t want to lose that.”
For the second time today, I was getting that sorrowful look. It hurt as much as the first time I’d gotten it.
“A few things,” I said softly. There was no way to transition this conversation gracefully, so I was going for the rally-car-style U-turn. “We’re meeting Kai for dinner tonight. Can you not hit on her?”
His eyebrows rose, and suddenly there was a smirk gathering around the corner of his mouth. “Amber, I’m not about to take prey from you. If you’ve got your sights set on this woman, she’s safe from me. I’m always open to a threesome, or more, with you, but I’m not going to step on your toes.”
“It’s not that.” Feeling my face redden, I explained the situation — how Kai thought I was either some monster sleeping around on her military boyfriend or in a weird, kinky relationship.
“So you need to reassure her we’re a regular couple, and that we’re not going to drug her and rape her behind the hibiscus?”
He understood. What a relief. “Yes, exactly. I need you to keep the pheromones in check and not pick up any partners tonight. Oh, tomorrow morning, too. We’re meeting her at four to go see the fires in the cane fields. Then off to see the sunrise on the beach and grab some breakfast.”
“Four? As in four o’clock in the morning?” Irix sighed, rocking back and forward slightly in the chair. “Amber, I just want to be with you this week, to stay with you as much as possible before something happens and I need to dash for a gate to Hel. Anything that brings you joy I’m happy to partake in. I love a good sunrise, and breakfast is always welcome. I’ll live with getting up that early as long as someone has a good supply of caffeinated beverage handy.”
My heart warmed at the thought he felt the same way about me that I did about him. “So, no hitting on anyone while we’re around Kai, and no hitting on her either?”
Impossibly, Irix’s eyebrows rose even further. “Okay. I vow that I will not ‘hit on’ your girlfriend or anyone else while she’s within a twenty-foot radius.” He shook his head. “Just promise me you’ll find someone tomorrow afternoon? I want you to be at full strength, just in case....”
In case elves surged through the gates of Hel, which they had refused to do in over two-million years, just to hunt me down. In case elves paid a bunch of demons to scour the planet to hunt me down. In case a family of vampires found that my demon blood was tainted with vile elf and decided to hunt me down. Or I ran into Bigfoot or was abducted by aliens or chupacabras. I’d been paralyzed with these fears when I’d first learned I wasn’t human less than a year ago, but I now refused to live my life like every shadow held a threat. Yes, I had a contract out on me. Yes, there would eventually be demons who tracked me down to haul in my head for a bounty. But that wasn’t going to rule my life.
Still, Irix was right. I should keep myself at one-hundred percent.
“I promise.”
He dropped all chair legs back onto the ground and smiled. I felt my heart lurch. “You know, when you ask a favor of a demon, it’s tradition to offer one in return.”
The look on his face nearly made my blood boil. “Please accept my favor in return.”
His lips curled up in a slow, sexy smile that sent a jolt of electricity right down between my legs. “Two favors. One I would like to cash in now, and the other I will reserve for later.”
I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly very dry. “Deal.”
“Come here.” I did, letting him pull me onto his lap. “Mmm, you smell good.” He breathed into my hair. “Like caramelized sugar. It’s very demon. Suits you.”
He’d always commented on how I looked and smelled just like an elf. It was surprising to hear him express such attraction to my demon side. Shifting on his lap, I pulled his lips to mine for a kiss.
“I’d rather smell like you.”
Irix had once told me that elves smelled like their surroundings, and that when we were in bed after making love, I smelled like him. I thought it was the sexiest thing — that he’d somehow marked me through my odd, ever-changing aroma. I wanted that back. I was his, and I wanted him to know that with every breath he took.
“Well then, let’s remedy that situation.”
Snaking one arm under my knees and the other around my ribs, he stood and carried me into our room, kicking the sliding door shut with a flick of his foot. His mouth met mine with gentle exploration once we’d cleared the bedroom threshold, and his arm released my legs. Pivoting upright, the back of my legs hit the mattress just as I teased his tongue with mine.
“Wait.” I leaned back the scant few inches between him and the bed, crossing my arms to pull my shirt up over my head. “Kind of hard to smell like you while we’re still clothed.”
We stripped, kissed, hands touching skin and sensitive areas. Irix rolled on top of me, entwining his fingers in mine and pushing my arms above my head before holding them firmly in place. His palms pushed against mine, trapping them with the weight of his body. My back arched, breasts thrust upward. There was a moment of stillness, when the only sound was our breathing. Our eyes connected, his tawny irises thin lines around dilated pupils. I saw beyond his gorgeous eyes and perfect face to something deep inside — something volatile and yet strangely fragile. A muscle twitched in his jaw, and he slid into me, smooth and long. The friction of his girth, the feel as he paused just shy of my cervix rocked me.
“God, you feel good.” My voice was breathless. I lifted my hips as he withdrew, eager to have him back where he belonged.
Satisfaction flitted across his face before he bent his head to mine, trailing kisses from the corner of my mouth to the base of my neck. His rhythm built, faster and deeper as my body accommodated his full length. “And you feel perfect. Every night in Hel, I dreamed of you by my side. I dreamed of burying myself in your warmth, feeling your skin against mine. Damn, Amber, I don’t think I can bear to be apart from you again.”
I caught my breath at the revelation that his nights had been as tortured as mine, that he felt the same. I’d never heard the four-letter word from him, but this was close enough for me. Everything in my heart let go like a flood surge against a fragile dam. My fingers gripped his, my body coiling, tense.
“I want you. Always. Forever.” Everything broke into waves of sensation as I came. I closed my eyes, carried away with the feelings he created in me — physical and emotional.
He groaned, increasing his pace in a frenzy. I felt him swell inside me, shudder as his hands released mine. Freed, I gripped his shoulders, loving the smoothness of his skin, the scent of dark, bitter chocolate and rum that was so Irix, loving the way his soft hair tickled the underside of my jaw, loving him.
“I love you.”
I wasn’t sure at first whether I’d said the words or not. Either way, I wasn’t embarrassed. I did love him, and it was clear that whatever he felt for me was damned close. Irix’s head jerked up. His surprised gaze met mine.
I wanted to tell him it was okay, wanted to tell him he didn’t need to say it. Instead, his mouth descended to mine with a kiss full of desperate passion.
“I love you, too.”
It was mumbled against my lips, but still clear. My heart stopped then beat frantically like I’d been shot with adrenaline. Gripping his hair with my hands, I pulled him back to see his face. There it was again, that odd vulnerability underneath the playboy façade.
“I mean it,” I whispered.
“I know.” His expression softened. “But you’re so yo
ung. I’ll love you forever, but there may come a time when you—”
I slammed my lips against his to stop the words. No. I’d never. He might be two-thousand years old to my twenty-one, but I’d been raised as a human. To me, I was an adult and fully capable of recognizing my forever when I saw him. Irix was it. He’d always be it, but the only way I could convince him of that was through time.
Worrying his lip between my teeth, I pulled it as my mouth left his, letting it go at the last moment. “Don’t you dare doubt the strength of my feelings for you, demon,” I teased. “Now, get your ass in some pants so we can go eat pig and stuff that tastes like paste, and wiggle around a fire in cheap grass skirts.”
His smile warmed me down to my toes. “I’ll have you know, I look damned fine in a skirt.”
Chapter 5
Irix looked damned silly in the grass skirt. I hadn’t laughed so hard in my life as I did when we got up with the hula dancers for brief lessons. Irix devoured the attention, pretending to be uncoordinated as the women grabbed his hips and hands to show him how the dance was done. True to his promise, he kept the pheromones in check, offering nothing more than friendly attention to the others. I couldn’t ask for a more devoted boyfriend, and it was nice, for once, not to have dozens of women and men following him around like he was the pied piper.
This evening he wasn’t an incubus; he was just an extremely good-looking man, on vacation with his girlfriend. I couldn’t help the brief moment of fantasy as I watched him swing his hips, placing feet and hands in the positions for the story of the dance. If he were human, we’d live together, maybe get married. Darci would be my maid of honor, with Nyalla and Sam as my bridesmaids. Well, maybe not Sam. An imp at a wedding would be bad enough, but one at the altar would be disastrous.
Marriage, then kids. We’d cry over their hurts, celebrate their wins, babysit and spoil grandbabies. We’d age together, holding fast to our love though time ravaged our bodies and finally took them from us. If he was human.