‘You’re right,’ Lizzie says. ‘Let’s start with the guest list.’
‘Good plan. Daniel and I started talking about it over dinner actually and I think we still need to invite his family . . . ’ I trail off. This isn’t going to go down well.
‘Noooooo!’ Jay groans.
‘Why?!’ Lizzie says. ‘WHY??’
I sigh. ‘Because whether I like it or not, they’re going to be family soon. I need to clear the air with them otherwise it’s going to be impossible for us all to be in the same room, and Daniel and I don’t want that. Maybe if we’re all together again, we can talk and, I don’t know, get to know each other better.’
‘Pfft,’ says Jay. ‘Don’t you think you’ve got to know Nicole pretty well already?!’
‘Ooh!’ Lizzie says, sitting up straight, her drink spilling a little. ‘Speaking of Nicole. I have some news.’
‘What’s that?’ I ask hesitantly. I’m not sure I want to know.
‘Her friend visited me today. Seffy.’
‘Seffy?’ I screw up my face. ‘God, why?’
‘Well,’ Lizzie says, smiling mischievously. ‘I’m glad you asked, because it was very interesting indeed . . . ’
Chapter Thirty-eight
Lizzie
I add a couple more sausage rolls and pickled onions to my plate and shimmy back to our table, ‘Love Shack’ by The B52s playing loudly in the background. I smile and wave at the people I recognise. It feels good to be surrounded by faces I’ve known all my life. A lot of Dad’s friends made the trip down to London for his party and these gruff, grumpy, rough-and-tumble men are some of the best people I know and they’ve been honorary uncles to me and Bex. It’s so good to see them all in one place after all these years.
It’s been a few weeks since it all kicked off and the press attention has died down now that the wedding isn’t just around the corner. There’s still the occasional pap who acts like a tosser around Bex but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was. And they’ve pretty much forgotten I exist which is fine by me. I never thought anonymity would be so appealing.
I think Justin has forgotten I exist too, and I’m not sure that is so fine by me. He stopped coming over about three weeks ago and the last text I got from him was almost two weeks ago: I’ll stop all this now, Lizzie. You know where I am if you need me. But I’ll never stop thinking about you. x. I haven’t heard from him since then.
Stop thinking about Justin! I scold myself and pull myself back to what’s happening now. I smile as I watch Dad spin Jill around the dance floor, laughing like a couple of kids.
‘They’re really good together, aren’t they?’ Bex says from beside me, reaching over to pinch a mini quiche from my plate.
‘Oi, get your own!’ I bat her hand away. ‘Yeah, they are. I like Jill. She’s good for Dad. She makes him happy.’
‘She does,’ Becky says. ‘I like her, too.’
‘Me too,’ Daniel says, coming over to us and distracting me so he can pinch a party ring from my plate.
‘Get your bloody own, you pair of scavengers!’ I say for the second time in as many minutes.
Daniel leans his head on Bex’s shoulder and smiles an innocent smile. I can’t help but smile back. Since they decided to postpone the wedding, they’ve been back to their old selves – open, relaxed and totally in love. I feel another pang of sadness as their happy smiles make me think of Justin again.
‘How much do you think your mum is hating every moment of this?’ Bex asks Daniel. I follow her gaze over to a table on the other side of the dance floor where Elena, Rupert and Nicole are sitting stiffly, scowls on all of their faces. There’s been some awkward small talk with Daniel’s parents but Nicole has refused to talk to either of us. No skin off my nose – I wouldn’t trust myself to say anything to her anyway. If I did it would make our first encounter look positively peachy.
Daniel looks over at his family despondently. ‘I think they’re all having a crap time. But we had to invite them, didn’t we? It would’ve been worse not to.’
Bex kisses the side of Daniel’s head. ‘Yes, we had to invite them. It was a gesture, to let them know that we want to put everything behind us and move forward. We’re being the bigger people here.’
‘Hmmm, I hate being the bigger person,’ I grumble, throwing Nicole a look. She catches me watching her and tinkles her hands in an annoying little wave that’s not in the least friendly. It’s taking all my willpower not to go over there and have it out but I don’t want her to get wind of anything.
‘Patience,’ Becky whispers, also noticing Nicole’s stupid waving and reading my mind. ‘Not much longer . . . ’
‘Hey, guys!’
I look up and spot Lauren looking glamorous in a nude bandage dress. She’s carrying a big wrapped box that she plonks onto our table. It’s kisses and hugs all round and then she takes a seat beside me.
‘Your dad’s giving it some welly, isn’t he?’ She laughs as Dad dramatically twists his hips on the dance floor to the sounds of Justin Bieber. I didn’t know he had it in him.
‘I’m trying to ignore it,’ Becky grins, shaking her head in mock-embarrassment.
Lauren turns to me. ‘Lizzie, quick thing before I get smashed, I want to offer you a job.’
‘What?’ I screw my face up, confused. ‘A job?’
Lauren works in PR. I’ve never been interested in working in PR but then I suppose beggars can’t be choosers, and the pub I’ve found work in is nice but it’s not what I want to do long-term. Plus, they’ll cotton on to my Sea Salt and Balsamic Vinegar Kettle Chip stash pretty soon and I’ll be out the door. And to be entirely honest, I’d prefer something a bit more creative.
‘Yes, a job,’ Lauren says firmly, all business. I think she’s being serious. ‘Becky showed me all those snaps you’ve been taking in the park.’
‘The ones on Instagram,’ Becky interjected, her eyes shining.
‘They’re amazing. I’m no professional photographer but even to my amateur eye I can tell they’re pretty special.’ Lauren says. ‘They’re fun and fresh and are a lovely showcase of the lesser-known green spaces in London.’
I smile at Lauren but I’m still confused. What have my pictures got to do with a job?
‘I showed your Instagram page to my team who are working on the London Parks project with me. We’ve been having some problems finding someone good enough to take the photos for our campaign, but we think you’re perfect.’
‘Hang on,’ I hold up my hands. ‘Let me get this straight. You’re offering me a job . . . as a photographer?’
‘That’s right,’ Lauren says. Straight down the line, no nonsense, no messing around – God, I love this girl. ‘Your young, fresh style is just what we need to re-invigorate interest in the parks. So what do you say? Will you be the official photographer for our new advertising campaign?’
‘Are you kidding me?! You want to hire me to take pictures? Yes, yes, YES!’
‘Good!’ Lauren laughs at my reaction. ‘Because we need you to come in on Monday for a full briefing. You up for it?’
I nod. I can’t speak because I’m trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to come. I have a job. A photography job! I swallow hard.
‘Don’t cry,’ Bex says. ‘This is a good thing!’
‘See?’ Daniel clinks his glass to mine. ‘All that dog stalking was worth it!’
They all fall about laughing but I don’t care. In fact, I join in. With this kind of experience on my application, I might actually get accepted onto a photography course, and—
I’m pulled out of my thoughts by the sudden silence that has fallen on our table. The music still blares, people are still dancing, the Balfours are still looking deeply uncomfortable, but Bex, Daniel and Lauren have gone strangely quiet.
‘What’s up?’ I ask. ‘What are you all staring at?’
I follow their gazes to the entrance and standing there looking nervous and gorgeous as ever is Justin.
/> ‘What the fuck?’ I mutter.
‘OK, don’t be mad!’ Becky says quickly. ‘I wanted to tell you, but I wasn’t sure if he’d come.’
‘What are you on about?’ I say. ‘What have you done? Why is Justin here?’
I look behind me again. He’s wandered over to the bar and is looking like he’s searching for something. Or someone.
‘You’re not the only one who can interfere in a relationship,’ Becky says gently.
‘But . . . it’s not – I don’t know . . . he.’ I try to construct a sentence, but I can’t gather my thoughts quickly enough. ‘How do you even know Justin?’
‘I went over to his place.’ She sees the look on my face and hurries on. ‘Listen. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you miss him. I don’t think he was just a random bloke you were seeing. I think you really liked him. You’ve been so sad that I had to do something. When was the last time you felt like this about someone? I’ll tell you when. Never. So I met him and I talked to him. He misses you too.’ Her voice is softer now. ‘I know what he did to you was terrible but take it from someone who knows. Nicole can be very convincing when she wants to be. He cares about you. I just think you should hear him out.’
‘I can’t!’ I panic. ‘I can’t talk to him. I don’t know what to say!’
‘Are you in love with him?’ Becky asks.
I sigh. ‘I don’t know. Maybe not yet, but one day, maybe. Yes,’ I say in a small voice.
‘Then you need to give him a chance. Just listen to him. We all make mistakes, don’t we?’
She’s right. I’ve made plenty of mistakes of my own. And God, I have missed him. He looks so FIT!
Daniel hands me my drink. ‘Take a big gulp of this and get over there.’ He says. ‘And if after talking to him you still want him to leave, then just let me know. I’ll see him out.’ Daniel puffs out his chest and pulls a ‘hard man’ face. Bless him. He couldn’t fight sleep, the poor lad, but I appreciated the big-brother routine nonetheless. If I want Justin to leave, I’ll ask my dad to get him out. And Daniel knows it.
‘OK,’ I say. I take the instructed big gulp of alcohol and then, the rest of the contents of the glass for good measure and on shaky legs, I make my way over to where Justin is standing by the bar.
‘Lizzie!’ he says when he sees me. He smiles nervously.
‘Hey,’ I say in a small voice. I can’t meet his eye.
‘Is it OK that I’m here?’ I ask. ‘Your sister invited me.’
‘My sister does a lot of things she shouldn’t,’ I mumble.
‘I don’t know.’ He dips his head, trying to catch my eye. ‘I’m glad she came to see me. I can see why you two are so close. I wish I had someone who had my back the way she has yours.’
I look over at the table. Jay has joined them now and he and Lauren are openly gawking at me and Justin, while Becky and Daniel are whispering furiously at them to stop staring but doing a bad job of not looking themselves. What a crazy, unorthodox family we are. But I wouldn’t have us any other way, I think to myself.
‘Why are you here?’ I ask turning back to Justin.
‘I needed to see you,’ he said simply. ‘I know I said I’d leave you alone, and I tried, but Lizzie, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to see you face to face.’
‘Well, here I am,’ I say. I want my voice to sound strong but it comes out strangled and even I can hear the hopeful edge to it. Saddo. I want to stop looking at his face because when I do all I want to do is wrap my arms around his neck. ‘Go on, what did you come here to say?’
‘I came here to say . . . ’ He takes a breath and then very clearly so everyone within earshot can hear, he says, ‘I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I haven’t been able to sing a decent riff since you left. Even Good Boy is bummed out. I think he misses you almost as much as I do. And I know I fucked it up. I know this is all my fault, but I didn’t know what I was getting into when I said yes to Nicole’s plan.’ He takes a step towards me. I don’t move away. ‘But I know now. I know that you’re funny and lovely and honest. I know that as much as you hate me it will never be more than how much I hate myself. And I know that I can’t see myself being with anyone other than you. And if you’ll give me another chance, I’ll spend every day making it up to you. Forgive me, Lizzie. Please forgive me.’
Okay. As far as apologies go, that was pretty near perfect.
But . . . ‘You really hurt me,’ I say cautiously.
He nods. ‘How many times can I say I’m sorry before you believe me?’
‘I believe you’re sorry but it still hurts. I trusted you, told you things . . . I don’t know if we’ll be able to get that trust back.’
His face lights up at the use of ‘we’. ‘But we can try?’ he asks hopefully.
‘Maybe. I don’t know.’
Justin smiles tentatively, hoping this is the opening he’s been looking for. He slowly reaches for my hand and I let him take it. It feels good. ‘One more chance. That’s all I’m asking for. I think if we can figure this out then it could be the most amazing thing, Lizzie. You and I. Come on, I know you feel it too?’
‘You can’t push this. I need to take things at my pace. But yes, I do feel it, Justin.’
I stare up at him and my entire body is drawn to this man. He’s smiling in that way that makes my insides melt and I can feel my palms start to sweat with nerves and anxious anticipation. His face is getting closer to mine and won’t be long before—
‘Well, isn’t this cosy?’
Justin and I look up in a daze. We’d been so engrossed in each other we hadn’t seen her approach. There’s a nasty sneer on Nicole’s face as her eyes dart from me to Justin and back again. Justin moves to stand in front of me.
‘Nicole, please go away,’ he says. ‘I told you I don’t want anything to do with you any more and I meant it.’
‘Oh, Justin,’ she bats her eyelashes at him (does that even work on guys any more? I think), ‘Come on, be serious. You know we’ll always come back to each other.’
‘Not this time,’ Justin says. ‘I’m not interested.’
Nicole’s expression turns sour in an instant. ‘But you’re interested in her?’
He looks at me and smiles that smile again. ‘I am. Very interested.’
‘Oh, is it lurve? Is that what this freak show is?’ she hisses. She changes tactics again. ‘Justin, baby, you know she’s not good enough for you. Why have chardonnay when you can have champagne?’
‘I’ve lost the taste for champagne,’ Justin says. ‘It tastes a bit . . . ’
‘Bitter?’ I finish for him.
‘Yeah,’ he says. ‘And . . . ’
‘Sour?’
‘Yeah, definitely.’
Justin and I stand there grinning at each other. I think Nicole might actually scratch my eyes out in a minute when Bex suddenly appears.
‘It’s time!’ she says to me. ‘Nicole? We need to have a word with you in the foyer.’ Before Nicole knows what’s happening Bex grabs Nicole’s hand and marches her out of the main function room and into the lobby.
‘I’ll be back in a sec,’ I say to Justin with a smile, running after Becky and Nicole.
‘I can’t wait,’ he calls to me.
‘Me too,’ I say back. And I mean it. More than I’ve meant anything in a long time.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Becky
‘What is this?’ Nicole spits, shaking my hand off her arm. ‘Don’t touch me! I only agreed to come here because my parents insisted, but don’t for a second think that we’re friends!’
‘I don’t want to be your friend, thanks anyway,’ I say.
‘Yeah, right,’ Nicole scoffed. ‘You were singing a different tune—’
‘Here’s what’s going to happen,’ I interrupt firmly, lifting my chin up. ‘You’re going to go away for a little while.’
‘What are you talking about?’
Lizzie digs in
to her clutch and pulls out the pamphlet she brought with her. She hands it to Nicole with a flourish. ‘You, dear Nicole, are going to be spending the summer in Ghana. Volunteering.’
‘We know how important charity work is to you,’ I add with a sweet smile.
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ Nicole frowns, throwing the volunteer pamphlet back in my face. ‘Why would I do that? You two are crazy and you’re annoying me now.’
‘You leave on Tuesday,’ Lizzie says. ‘Your flight is booked. You’ll be in Ghana for a minimum of three months.’
Nicole laughs harshly. ‘I don’t know what you two think you’re playing at but what makes you think I’m going to listen to a word you say? No one tells me what to do! Especially not two little peasants like you who don’t know your Primark from your Prada.’
‘But why wouldn’t you want to go?’ I say innocently. ‘Aren’t you the same Nicole Balfour that spends all of your spare time visiting sick children in hospital? Aren’t you the socialite with the heart of gold? I thought volunteering in Ghana would be right up your street.’
Nicole pales and runs a hand through her hair. ‘Yes? And what’s your point?’
‘Only none of it’s true, is it?’ Lizzie says. ‘I had a very nice chat with your good friend Seffy who explained to us how it works. You make sure you get photographed walking in with some kind of gift basket and then you leave through the back a few minutes later without seeing any of the children. You barely say hello to them, let alone play with them. She even told us how you hire your own paparazzi to take the photos!’
‘I wonder what the Daily World would think about that?’ I say.
‘Or the board of Balfour Industries,’ Lizzie muses.
‘You can’t prove anything,’ Nicole hisses. ‘It’s your word against mine and no one is going to believe you.’
I fold my arms. ‘Actually, we have Seffy and several nurses from the children’s ward who are all willing to go on record about this. All it will take is one phonecall to your friend. You know, the pap – Martin, is it? I’m sure once we explain to him what’s been going on he’d be happy to put us in touch with whichever tabloid we choose.’
My Sister's Wedding: For better or worse, two families are about to become one . . . Page 26