by A Lonergan
Every evening after I was done with classes, Tracey would swing by the house and we would cook together while she schooled me on everything werewolf. It made it easier than me going back to the Crimson property. Or as Tracey called it, the Crimson Pack. I was too much of a wild card and couldn’t be trusted to not attack their Alpha again. Which, whatever, I didn’t want to go there anyway. This worked well in my favor.
Though every few days I would peer out my window and I knew he was there, in the woods, behind my house. It didn’t make me scared but only angry. He was lucky I wasn’t going around the pack. I was practically out for blood with that one. If he kept it up I would search him out. I didn’t like him lurking.
We were eating steaks, mostly raw, when Tracey brought up the pack life. Much to my disapproval, I let her continue on with the nonsense. “You’re going to need a pack.”
I rolled my eyes. “Says who?”
“Says the wolf inside of you.” Tracey took a big bite out of her steak before she scooped up some mashed potatoes. She reassured me that I would crave regular food again soon, but I had my doubts about that. Just the look of the potatoes had my stomach rolling. “When you do get control over your shifts she will go rogue if you don’t pledge to an Alpha.”
“What does that even mean? I have to bow down to Rafe and just be happy that he hates me and I hate him?” I wasn’t okay with that. I wasn’t okay with bowing down to the man that had done this to me. The man that had tried to take everything from me. No, I wouldn’t bow down to him, or anyone else. I could still be an independent bad-ass woman without an Alpha, right?
She shrugged. “Pretty much.”
The key jingled in the lock at the front door and my parents walked in. The door swung back and bounced off of the wallpapered entryway. My mom’s blonde hair was shorter than it had been last time they had been home and my dad’s black hair had more gray sprinkled through it. They both rushed forward and wrapped their arms around me. The sink kicked on as Tracey washed her dishes and smiled at the parent pile I was in. They were both wearing matching sweatsuits. Oh my gosh. This is what I didn’t miss at all. I almost expected a teacup pooch to prance in behind them, matching outfit and all. Thankfully, my inner prayers were answered when no dog was to be seen or smelled nearby.
Tracey grinned. “I love the matching outfits.” Leave it to her.
I wanted to tell her not to encourage it but I was being squeezed too tightly to get the words out. My mom finally untangled herself from my side and rushed to Tracey. She wrapped her arms around my friend and closed her eyes like Tracey was her long lost daughter. “Thank you so much for being here for our baby girl.”
Dad finally let go and I muttered, “Not a baby.”
“What have you two been up to?” My mom eyed my half-eaten rare steak like she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She wasn’t the only one. I hardly believed it too. I couldn’t wait to hear what Dad thought. His face wasn’t as open as Mom’s.
Tracey and I looked at each other and grinned. “Nothing really. Lots of studying for the finals coming up.”
“That’s a few months away,” Dad said as I dumped the contents on my plate into the garbage.
Tracey leaned against the counter and her honey hair brushed over the side of her shoulder. “Can never be too prepared.”
Mom patted her hand. “I never thought she would stop partying, I guess we have you to thank for that.”
The smile slipped from my face. No, they had Rafe to thank for that. I was sure Tracey was thinking the same thing as her face mirrored my own. I popped my knuckles to get my thoughts on anything else. I didn’t have the luxury to think of him as often as I did. I hated that he took up so much space in my head.
“Thank you for coming over tonight, Tracey, I’ll walk you out.”
“Nice seeing you both! Enjoy being back in town, Mr. and Mrs. Rivers!” Tracey said over her shoulder.
She leaned over and grabbed her backpack before she followed me to the door. I didn’t say a word until we reached her car. “What do I do?”
Tracey started her car and leaned into her seat. “Act normal?”
“My parents are practically vegan. They never wanted to push the lifestyle onto me so I was pretty much vegetarian.”
Tracey’s nose wrinkled. “That explained you not finishing your dinner. If you feel like you need to shift or anything, call me immediately. I can run through the woods to get here.”
Everything would be fine. I hoped.
Chapter 21
Jade Rivers
Except everything wasn’t fine. My skin constantly itched. Eating vegan food was a no-go. I swallowed down a few spoonfuls of Mom’s interpretation of Vegan Curry a few nights later and barely made it to the bathroom to throw it all up. Nothing would settle in my stomach except for meat. So that night, around two a.m. with my stomach grumbling, I sent the text. The only call for help I would ever type out.
Tracey- “Meet me at the Pack House.”
Me- “I don’t think this is a good idea.”
Tracey- “I don’t think you’re that hungry.”
But it had been almost four days since I had been able to keep anything down. Pretending I was fine wasn’t cutting it. My mom knew something was up. I was her baby, after all. Telling them I was still recovering wasn’t going to cut it either.
After a few minutes and agonizing torture flooding my middle, I sent out a reply that I would be on my way. But how could I leave the house this late and not raise suspicion? I pressed my palms into my eyes. I needed to get an apartment or they needed to leave again but they wouldn’t leave again until I was in tip-top shape. So I either had to get this curse under control or I needed to move out. Either way, I was in a tough spot. I didn’t exactly have a job to move out, my parents had made sure I never wanted or needed for anything. If I told them I wanted to move out, there would be hell to pay and I wasn’t ready for the argument or really the responsibility that would come with it all. How was I supposed to survive in the real world without them?
I crept down the hallway and froze when the light turned on in the living room. Dad sat in the recliner with his iPad on his lap. His feet were covered with black socks and propped up in front of him.
“What’s up kiddo?”
I raised an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same thing.”
He grinned. “I haven’t been able to sleep lately.”
I frowned. “Anything I can do to help?”
He shook his head and took his wire-framed glasses from his face. “No, I don’t believe so. Just the wolves again.”
My body jerked. “Excuse me?”
“I have been having dreams about wolves lately so I figured I would stay up as late as I could to keep my brain from going into such a weird state in order to create the dreams. I’m trying to exhaust my subconscious.”
I almost exhaled in relief. “Right, okay.”
“Are you going somewhere?” His eyes zeroed in on my Vans in my hand and my purse in the other.
“I didn’t want to wake you or Mom,” I began. “But Tracey needed me.”
Dad shook his head and chuckled again. “I knew there was more than just studying going on.”
I bit my lip. “Maybe for her. I’ve been out of trouble for a few weeks now.” I tried to keep the grimace from my face at the memory of Rafe shoving the syringe into me. I didn’t need to be reminded of the buzzkill he was.
“Well, you’re a good friend for going to bail her out. I’ll let your mom know that you’ll be staying at her house tonight.”
A foreign feeling washed through me. They had always been so chill, I didn’t know what had worried me so much. Maybe it was partly the fact that I had never hidden anything from them before and here I was, hiding everything. I padded across the floor and leaned over to kiss my father on the cheek. He smiled against my lips and ruffled my hair.
“Be careful, make good choices,”
The drive to the Crimson Pack territory
was short and it made me nervous. Would Rafe be there? Could I avoid him? Where the hell was I going to be sleeping because I knew Tracey didn’t have much room at her parents’ place. And her dorm was off-limits because there was no room for another person. I thought of my spacious backseat and nodded to myself. If it could hold two people hooking up, it could certainly hold me, alone, for one night. I’d borrow a blanket from Tracey or something.
The long winding driveway brought me a little peace and comfort. I still hadn’t been able to shift and it left me with growing anxiety in my chest. Not that the entire situation didn’t make me a raging lunatic to begin with, but that was another thing entirely. For the most part, I had accepted what was happening, like it was second puberty. The other parts of me just didn’t want to adult or care or do anything. My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel with all of my strength or what I imagined all of my strength could be. Tracey still had a lot to teach me and go over. All of the homes had their lights out except the main house.
Crimson Manor.
The Crimson Keep.
Hell itself.
I could have gone on and on in my head with all the silly nicknames but then there was Tracey grinning at me from the other side of the car and I had to stop. She probably wouldn’t have liked all the disrespect for her pack to begin with.
I closed my fingers around the handle on my door and shoved it open. Tracey grinned. “Come on, we have food inside.”
Hesitation held me tightly. “It’s late, I’m sure everyone is sleeping. I thought we would swing by a fast-food place and get burgers or something.”
Tracey’s eyebrow hit her hairline as she regarded me. “I don’t think you mean that. You want a greasy, long-dead animal over something a bit fresher with blood and not fat?”
My mouth salivated. “I don’t want to wake anyone up.”
Rafe’s voice boomed across the porch. “I can promise you that we are all awake. Your old fan belt made sure of that.”
I swallowed back my retort as Tracey gave me a warning look and she replied, “Don’t be an ass Rafe, everyone is out running as a pack or back here cooking for when the pack returns.”
That made me feel better, slightly. Rafe scoffed. “We are feeding food to the outsiders now.”
If I bit my tongue any harder I would have tasted blood, so I stopped and grinned. Except my grin was anything but friendly. “I wouldn’t be here at all if it wasn’t for you.”
Rafe’s eyes flashed before he turned on his heel. “You’re right, you’d be dead.” And he left it at that. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Tracey’s lips pressed together and she shook her head. “I don’t know what that means. He doesn’t tell my father much and he won’t open up to anyone anymore. We fear a sickness is settling in because he hasn’t found his mate yet.”
That word just kept popping up in normal conversation around here. “You haven’t picked a mate yet?” I found myself asking her.
Tracey bit the inside of her lip as I followed her into the pack house. The smell of steak hit me right in the face and I could have rolled over and shown my tummy for it. This was getting ridiculous. I rubbed my hands down my arms to get rid of the chill setting into my bare skin.
“Mates are complicated, especially when you’re an Alpha.” Tracey didn’t bother with lowering her voice as we walked into the massive home. “The Alpha has a responsibility to the pack to find a mate soon after he becomes an alpha. If he doesn’t he will get sick and risk the rest of the pack. My father is worried about him.” She threw a daring look at Rafe as we took seats at the long dining table I had sat at a few days before.
“Now we tell the pack all of our secrets?” Rafe hummed before he crossed his massive arms over his chest. Much to my horror, my eyes followed the vascular veins bulging in his biceps. The biceps that were covered in tattoos. “Like what you see, stranger?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know how we could possibly be strangers after what you did to me.”
“Is there something that needs to be discussed?” a woman asked from the doorway. Her hair was up in a beige towel and a robe was wrapped around her body. I knew immediately she was Rafe’s mother. My mouth went dry.
Rafe wasted zero time. “I changed Jade against her will.”
Rafe’s mother looked between the two of us as her dark eyebrows pulled together. “You better have a good reason for this, Rafe. You’ve been acting crazed lately.”
Tracey threw me an I told you so look from across the table. I rolled my eyes. I didn’t care if he was losing his sanity or not, that didn’t give him a pass to hurt other people. I had the rest of my life to think about and he had ruined it all.
“You ruined my life,” The words slipped past my lips before I could stop them. Rafe’s glowing eyes snagged mine.
“I saved your life,”
“You’re narcissistic,” I bit out.
“One day you’ll understand.” He growled back.
Rafe’s mother blinked. “I can’t handle this. I don’t know why you did what you did, but you have to make it right.”
Rafe grinned with all of his teeth. He looked even more like a psycho. “She’s not a part of our pack, I don’t have to do shit.”
There was a gasp as Rafe’s mother slapped his cheek. “You are a lot of things, but first and foremost, you are the Alpha to this pack. If you don’t start acting like it, I’ll challenge you myself.”
Chapter 22
Jade Rivers
I knew I should have questioned sleeping arrangements sooner but as it grew later and later, I knew my options were limited. Low and behold, I ended up sleeping at the Crimson Manor.
Alice Crimson, Rafe’s mother, walked me up the stairs to my room while Tracey shot me apologetic looks from the side of the stairs. I rolled my eyes. This was just my luck. Alice sighed as we made it to the top of the stairs before she turned to look back at me.
“I know my son seems a bit irrational but I do believe it’s the mating call leading him to act this way.” She continued to the first door on the left and pushed it open. “I also know that if you don’t join a pack, your wolf will kill you.”
I pressed my lips together. Great. Tracey had mysteriously left that one out. I was damned if I did and I was damned if I didn’t. “Maybe I would be okay with that.”
Alice turned to me and shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t be. I see the fight in you. I know you wouldn’t be okay with that at all. I’m not telling you to swear under Rafe. God no, especially with all the trauma he has put you through, but you’ll have to move to find another pack and you might not make it in time.”
I thanked her for her words of wisdom and closed the door behind me. The room smelled like pine and something sweeter, like cinnamon rolls. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. This wasn’t so bad. Rafe had disappeared after he had made sure everyone in the pack ate and I knew I wouldn’t see him in the morning.
Tracey had insisted that pack duties happened on the weekend, whatever that meant and I could explore some more of the Crimson land. I didn’t know if I felt comfortable doing that just yet, but it was something to keep my mind occupied.
By six am the entire pack house was buzzing with movement and whispers. I could hear people talking as they woke up or as they slipped in and out of the house. I was still eating the concoction Tracey’s grandmother had given me, but little by little it wasn’t working as well. I still didn’t need my contacts which was a relief, but eventually my parents would notice that. They made sure I took care of my eyes, my eyesight had been the worst since I was little. They were anal about me eating the right foods to help it improve too. What was I going to tell them? The carrots must have healed my eyes?
I yawned as a door slammed below and the force of it vibrated the floors. I knew it was Rafe. No one else seemed to have a temper like him except for Axel, Tracey’s dad.
A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. “Yes?”
&
nbsp; Tracey pushed the door open and leaned against the doorframe. She was still wearing her pajamas and her pant legs were tucked into some floral rubber boots. She was a style icon for sure.
“Saturdays don’t mean sleeping in around here, sorry about that.” I shrugged. Even though I was still groggy, my wolf or whatever it was didn’t allow me to sleep in anymore. The itching in my chest always woke me up early. I rubbed in between my breasts to try to get the sensation to pass.
“What’s the plan for today?” I asked as I pushed the blankets away from my legs.
“I would love to give you the tour of the property and tell you all about your alter ego hiding inside of you.” Tracey grinned and I couldn’t help but want to know more. This was the rest of my life, right? I couldn’t just ignore the wolf side of me and eventually I was going to have to shift. I just didn’t want to do it now.
She placed a bag at the foot of my bed and I smiled. I had forgotten I had packed a bag the night before. I had told my dad I was spending the night, being prepared to do so was on the agenda but I had also planned on sleeping in my car.
Chapter 23
Rafe Crimson
Axel kept his pace with me as we went around the perimeter again. The rogue wolves were getting close again. Their scent covered the property line. They were trying to mess with my head and it was working. Axel sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“This must be stopped,” Axel shook his head and gave me a worried glance.
“What do you think I should do about it?” I had never seen my father deal with rogue wolves growing up. Every single wolf in the pack was loyal to him even if they didn’t like the decisions he sometimes made.
After I challenged my father when the sickness had become too much for him and won, some of the wolves didn’t like it. They took their entire families and left. I had reached out to neighboring packs to see about their safe arrival but they never showed up. They never seemed to go anywhere. Their scents had been all but forgotten, until a few weeks ago when one of the rogue wolves had shown up at the party I was at. The party Jade was also attending. Neck tattoo guy. He had claimed I wasn’t the true Alpha and challenged me, upstairs in front of humans.