“There is nothing that could ever make us reconsider this,” Tor said.
Berta raised her hand to pat him gently. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see their faces when she told them.
“I cannot have children,” she said in a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
She felt a gentle finger beneath her chin, pressing upward, requesting that she look up. She gathered her courage and opened her eyes to see all three of the Falcorans looking down at her.
“To have children with you, Berta, would be a blessing,” Merrick said. “But it is by no means the reason we desire you, or need you in our lives.”
Berta searched his face carefully, then Tor’s, then Jerri’s, but she saw nothing more than sincerity and worry in their eyes and on their faces. Finally she nodded.
“Now that we are clear on that, tell us, why do you say you cannot have children?” Merrick asked. “And before you answer, let me be clear that I ask only because it may very well be that the transformation process will correct the problem, depending on what it is.”
“I don’t want to tell you,” Berta said, her throat so tight she had to struggle to speak. Only this time it wasn’t because of the drug she’d been given.
“Why not?” Jerri asked, an expression of hurt in his eyes that made it hard to swallow.
“Because I don’t want you to think less of me,” she whispered.
“Please, trust us,” Jerri said.
“You know why the Brethren kidnap berezi,” she said. “I don’t want to remember details, let alone speak of them. I bore one child, but Brethren have little humanity in them. No woman ever bore more than one child to the Brethren, and few of them lived through the experience. I did live through it, barely, though I often regretted it.”
“What happened to your child?” Jerri asked.
Berta grimaced. “He became a credit to his father and, the last I heard, he was next in line as the leader of the Brethren.”
“You do not sound as though you were close to your son,” Tor said carefully.
“How could I be?” Berta asked. “He became one of my jailers. When he was a baby, he was left with me in the old compound. He looked like what he was, a Brethren. Reptilian. But he was my child, and I loved him. When he was twelve, they took him from me, and left me there alone. I saw him a few times over the years, but it didn’t take long for him to become completely Brethren.”
“Berta, will you tell us, please, why you were left alone so long?” Merrick asked. It was a question that had burned in his mind since he’d first leaned of her past. “Why didn’t they keep you with the other women?”
“I have a small talent for disrupting electronics,” Berta said with a tiny smile. “Nothing big, but enough to be very annoying if I want to be. When they began using the Controllers on women, they were worried that I might disable them, so they decided I needed to be kept away from the others just in case. When they built the new compound, they decided it was safest, and easiest, to leave me behind. They couldn’t kill me because at the time I was pregnant. Later, after they took my child, I expected them to kill me, but they didn’t. Maybe it was for my son’s sake. I don’t really know. When they started bringing women to the old compound to hold until they could determine if they were berezi or not, I think it was convenient to have me there to let the women know what was happening. In between kidnappings, I think they just kind of forgot about me.”
“It must have been a very lonely life for you,” Jerri said, stroking the back of her hand gently.
“Yes, it was,” Berta agreed.
“Wait,” Tor said with a frown. “Are you saying that the Brethren started using the Controllers forty years ago?”
“Yes, that’s about right,” Berta replied. “Give or take a couple of years. Is that important?”
“We just thought they were more recent inventions,” Merrick said after shooting Tor a warning look. “From what you’ve said, I think it’s possible that once the transformation is complete, you will be able to have children again if you wish.”
“Really?” Berta asked with wide-eyed wonder. “I would love that more than I can tell you.”
“There’s more,” Jerri said. “Your body will be entirely remade, Berta. Whatever was done to the body you now have will be completely erased.”
Berta’s eyes widened at this new and amazing thought. A brand new body. Not just a younger one, but one that would not carry a scar or mark or any other reminder of the past. One that had never been touched by a Brethren.
“Thank you, Jerri,” she said. She was so relieved, and so happy by what Jerri had told her that she missed the looks that the Falcorans exchanged above her.
“May I ask you a question?” she said.
“You may ask us anything you like,” Tor replied.
“On Earth, we have birds that look much like your alter-forms that we call falcons. Even the name is similar. But falcons are birds. They have feathers, not fur, and they lay eggs rather than bear live young like mammals do.”
“Are they reptiles?” Merrick asked with a frown.
“No, birds are not reptiles,” Berta replied. “I think that somewhere in their evolution they were reptilian, but to be honest I don’t remember much of my childhood schooling.”
“What is your question?” Tor asked.
“Well, you guys have fur, not feathers, but as I said, you look like falcons and you fly. So are you mammals or something else?”
“We are mammals,” Merrick said. “All Clan Jasani are mammals.”
“That’s a relief,” Berta said. “I have another question. After this, will I still be able to run Arima House?”
“Of course,” Merrick replied with a smile. “In fact, we have already spoken with the Lobos and the Dracons about this. The Lobos have asked us to take over ranch security as they are stretched a bit thin right now. And the Dracons have offered to expand your current quarters in Arima House so that we can all live there. If it’s acceptable to you, of course.”
“That’s wonderful to me,” Berta replied with a yawn. She raised one hand to cover her mouth, pleased to find that she had little trouble doing it. She still felt weak, and tired, but she could move. She yawned again.
“It is beginning,” Merrick said. “You will fall asleep in a moment. If you dream, please know that we are here, and will not leave you.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling at each of them. “I want you to know that I am no longer afraid.”
“No longer afraid of being abducted?” Merrick asked.
“No longer afraid of being abducted. No longer afraid of leaving the ranch. The ranch didn’t save me, you guys did. And after this, you will be with me for all time. Right?”
“That’s right,” Merrick replied. “You have our word on that.”
Berta smiled, then yawned again. She started to raise her hand, but it fell back with a thump. She was sound asleep.
Merrick, Tor and Jerri watched her for a few moments, then moved back away from the bed. “It makes me crazy to think of what she went through,” Jerri said.
“Then do not think of it,” Merrick said. “She needs us to be here for her now. Going off in a blood-rage will do no good.”
“I know,” Jerri replied. “That’s the only reason I haven’t lost control already.”
“What do we do next?” Tor asked.
Merrick thought for a moment. He glanced at the suitcase that Jerri had left on the floor near the door, then over to where Berta lay sleeping on the bed. They’d covered her with a light blanket, but her hair was tangled with bits of grass and leaves, and he knew that her clothing was stained and dusty as well.
“I want to clean her up and put a fresh gown on her,” he said. “Do you think she’ll mind?”
“We promised to allow no one else in here, other than Prince Garen, and him only if necessary,” Tor reminded him. “If we do not do it, then she must remain as she is.”
“She is our Arima,” Jerri said. “It
is our duty and our right to tend to her. If she becomes angry with us for doing so, then we shall have to accept that. It does not relieve us of our duty to her.”
“Sometimes you are very wise, my brother,” Merrick said with a bow. “Let’s see what Arima Hope sent.”
Jerri picked up the suitcase, set it on the dresser and opened it. Inside they found several articles of clothing, including a satin nightgown with thin straps in a dark blue that exactly matched Berta’s eyes. There were no ruffles, lace or frills on the gown. It needed none, for the fabric it was made of was beautiful enough without fanciful decoration. Somehow, it reminded them of Berta herself.
Merrick picked up the gown and laid it aside while Tor reached for the brush and comb in a side pocket. Jerri took the toiletries bag into the bathroom, and Merrick looked through the suitcase for anything else they might need.
Jerri came out of the bathroom with several warm, damp cloths and a towel and the three of them gathered around Berta once more. Merrick pulled the blanket back, and they began undressing her in silence.
At first, as Merrick began to unbutton Berta’s blouse, revealing one glorious inch of creamy skin with each button, he wondered if his body would explode before the task was finished. He’d never been so intensely aroused. Had not even known that such feelings were possible. Then he reached the fourth button, between her breasts, and saw something that made the breath catch in his throat. He said nothing, but slipped the next button through its hole, his fingers suddenly shaking, afraid of what might be revealed next.
His fear was justified. A gasp from Tor and a growl from Jerri told him they were finding what he had found. He turned his head, though he didn’t really want to, and saw her skirt had been unfastened and slipped down her legs, revealing white ridges of scar tissue in long thin stripes extending from her breasts to her hips. .
He met his brothers’ eyes, but none of them could speak. They removed the remainder of her clothing in silence, finally discovering why it was that Berta wore long sleeves all of the time. The scars ran across her shoulders and down her arms to her wrists. When they rolled her over to unclasp her bra, they found that her back was even more heavily scarred than her front.
Her body was so perfectly beautiful. She had full breasts tipped with coral nipples, a tiny waist and full hips, her skin pale and silky soft, her feet and hands so small and dainty to their eyes. But she had suffered so much more than they ever could have imagined.
Merrick began picking the debris out of Berta’s hair, ignoring the tears that streamed down his face and dripped onto the pillow beside her. When he turned for the brush, he saw that Tor and Jerri had tears on their faces as they carefully and gently washed her skin with warm cloths.
When they were finished, Berta’s hair lay in a thick, glossy braid over the pillow, her body covered with the blue satin nightgown, the sheet pulled up to her waist. The Falcorans stood at the foot of the bed and watched her, each lost in his own thoughts.
“Why did she ever even agree to talk to us, let alone accept us?” Tor asked.
“How much courage did it take for her to remain in the Katres’ home with us, alone, that first time we visited?” Merrick asked.
“I don’t think we can do it,” Jerri said finally.
“Do what?” Merrick asked.
“We cannot do the soul-link triad with her,” Jerri said. “What if it hurts her somehow? She has been hurt too much.”
“We will not hurt her,” Tor said flatly. “I will kill anyone who ever even thinks to hurt her in any way.”
“As will we all,” Merrick agreed. “But if we do not complete the triad, she will die. We cannot let her die.”
“I’m afraid, Merrick,” Jerri said in a low voice. “What if I hurt her without meaning to?”
“She is not made of glass, Jerri,” Merrick said. “If we treat her as though she is, we will hurt her spirit.”
“How can we see what has been done to her and not fear causing her further harm?” Jerri asked.
“Once the second phase is complete, she will no longer have those scars, Jerri,” Tor reminded him. “This is why she was so happy when you told her that her body would be renewed.”
Jerri nodded. “I am glad that the scars will be gone from her. She deserves that much. I am even more sure that we are unworthy of her. She is braver than us by far.”
“I, too, doubt our worthiness,” Tor said.
“If we are not worthy of her, we must strive to correct that,” Merrick said. “We will grow. Evolve. Mature. We will become worthy. Right now, worthy or not, we are what she has, and we cannot fail her because we fear to harm her.”
Tor and Jerri nodded in agreement and turned their attention back to Berta. She looked so beautiful lying there, the wisps of dark curly hair that was too short for the braid framing her face, her long lashes dark against her pale skin.
“Dammit!” Tor exclaimed suddenly. He hurried around to the side of the bed and reached for Berta’s right hand.
“What?” Merrick demanded, seeing nothing wrong.
“She’s stopped breathing!” Tor shouted. “We forgot to check her vital signs.”
Merrick ran around the other side of the bed and leaned over Berta, turning her head to the side and lowering his mouth to her neck. He glanced up, relieved to see both Jerri and Tor in place. He nodded curtly, then sank his fangs into her neck. His heart raced in his chest with both fear and fury. Fear that they were too late; fury at their incompetence.
Moments later they removed their fangs and Berta took a long, deep breath. Merrick placed one hand gently at her neck and felt the strong pulse of her heart beating. He closed his eyes and made a silent promise to himself.
“Damn,” Jerri said, “that was....” but Merrick cut him off sharply.
“Not now,” he said. “We must put her into a deep sleep at once.”
Tor and Jerri sent their power to Merrick who used it to reach out to Berta. He sensed that she was beginning to awaken, and pushed her gently back down into sleep. She struggled for a moment, but he was stronger. The deeper she went, the harder he pushed until she was far from consciousness. He withdrew just as the fires within her body began to boil. He shuddered. He’d had but a glimpse of the first of the pain her body would suffer, and it made him ill. He gritted his teeth and reached out to Berta again. He had to be absolutely certain she was deeply asleep and unable to feel.
When he withdrew again his forehead was beaded with sweat and he was sick to his stomach. Tor and Jerri looked only slightly better. They had joined him, but from a distance, so had not felt or seen as clearly as he had. It had been enough, though.
“Get some cool cloths,” Merrick said as Berta’s body arched sharply, then fell back to the bed. Jerri raced to the bathroom, and Berta’s body arched again, nearly folding in half with the convulsion that seized hold of her and shook her like a doll. And that was only the beginning.
Throughout the long day the Falcorans took turns checking to be sure that Berta was still deeply asleep, that she felt none of the horrific pain her body experienced. They kept her clean, held her body as gently as they could to keep her bones from snapping from the strong convulsions that ripped and tore through her, and they made a promise to each other. Never again would they forget even the smallest thing about their Arima.
By the time the convulsions began to ease, Merrick, Tor and Jerri were convinced that there could be no worse torture in all of the Thousand Worlds that would ever come close to what they had just been through. The only good thing about it was that all of Berta’s scars were gone. There was not a single scar, mark, or blemish of any kind on her body now.
Tor came out of the bathroom with a fresh set of warm cloths just as Berta opened her eyes and smiled. “Hi guys,” she said, her voice soft, but clear.
“Hello beautiful,” Jerri said. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel fine,” Berta said. She looked down at herself, her eyes widening when she realized her
arms were bare. She automatically moved to cover them with the sheet, then froze. “How?” she asked in a whisper.
“I told you, brand new body,” Jerri said. “Didn’t you believe me?”
“Yes, I believed you,” Berta said, stroking the smooth skin of her arm with hesitant fingers. “I just didn’t believe it this much.” She looked up at Merrick, then Tor. “Are all of them gone?”
“Yes, valedar,” Merrick said. “They are all gone. Every single one.”
“I know it seems vain,” Berta began, but Merrick leaned over and pressed one finger lightly against her lips.
“Not vain, valedar,” he said. “They were reminders of events you do not need reminding of. Now they are gone.”
“Valedar?” she asked.
“Darling one,” Merrick said, reaching up to brush a curl from her cheek. “Berta, the mating fever will hit soon. We want you to know that we will not hurt you.”
“You’re worried about something,” Berta guessed, feeling their tension. She glanced at Tor, then Jerri, and noted that they all looked tense. “What is it?”
“We are so afraid of making you afraid of us,” Merrick said. “You have suffered so much. We could not live with ourselves if we caused you more pain.”
“Don’t worry about my past,” Berta said. “I have never been afraid of you guys, and I don’t plan to start now.”
“Thank you, Berta,” Merrick said, smiling. “That helps.”
A sudden wave of heat rolled through Berta’s body, leaving her nipples hard, her skin so sensitive that the satin of her gown almost hurt, and her pussy spasming so hard it made her entire body shudder. Never, in all of her long life, had she felt anything like this. “What is happening to me?”.
“The mating fever has begun,” Merrick said, glancing at Tor and Jerri. “Does it hurt?”
“Hurt?” Berta asked as another wave rolled through her. “No, not hurt,” she gasped. “I feel...needy...but it doesn’t hurt.”
“Promise that you will tell us if it begins to hurt,” Tor said as he and Jerri climbed off the bed and began to undress.
“I promise,” she gasped as her body shuddered again. “How do we stop it?”
Berta's Choice (The Soul-Linked Saga) Page 10