by J. J. Massa
“Aunt Sue, Daddy said Mama made him that way. Is that why Mama won’t hardly talk to Tav? Is she afraid she’s gonna make him that way, too?”
Tav couldn’t contain the snarl of rage that ripped through him. Where is that bastard? I’ll kill him I swear I will.
“Calm down, man—calm down both of you!” T. Paul rumbled. “I think we need to hear this.”
Tav looked at Marc, who was having difficulty controlling his beast, too. Taking deep breaths, he tried to calm himself and listen to the conversation between the woman and the child.
They could hear Sue clearing her throat repeatedly. She was obviously having her own troubles dealing with Jacob’s innocent question.
“First of all, little buddy, your daddy only said those ugly things because— because—he’s just bad. Your mother didn’t make him that way. A man is either bad or he’s not.” She sighed. “Remember that cartoon we watched where the cat made it look like the dog broke all the dishes?”
“Yeah. He wanted everyone to think the dog was bad and he was good.” Jacob was excited that he understood.
“Your dad said your mama was bad because he didn’t want everybody to know it was really him.”
“So Tav’s not gonna ever be like that? And he won’t ever hit me or Ashley or Mom?”
“I don’t think Tav will ever hit any of you,” Sue confirmed.
“Do you think Mom or Ashley will ever believe that? Do you think they’ll always be scared?” Jacob sounded hopeful and worried at the same time.
“I don’t know, Jacob, I just don’t know. Hey, there’s Ashley’s bus!”
* * * * *
The next night, Marc and T. Paul had continued on their journey north and Tav was prowling the woods between his place and Tracey’s. He was on his way home when he heard what sounded like a child crying.
Without thought, he turned toward the sound. As he came out of the trees at the back of the house, he saw eight-year-old Ashley sitting on the hill beyond the back porch. She was wearing a little quilted robe and slippers; he worried that she’d be cold.
He walked toward her, still in wolf form. He stopped when he heard her gasp. She looked at him with round, frightened eyes.
“Are you gonna eat me?” she whispered. He shook his head no. “Are you gonna bite me?” she asked, just a little louder.
He shook his head no again. He walked up to her and sat down in front of her. He sat much taller than she did. She craned her head to look up at him. He leaned down and licked her cheek.
She giggled. He smiled. He licked her other cheek. She giggled again. He lay down facing her and looked at her.
“Do you have a name?” she asked him. He nodded. “I met a man the other day and his name sounded like a dog name.”
He tilted his head. When she didn’t say anything more, he inched forward and licked her hand and then rubbed it with his head.
“You want to sit next to me?” she asked him. He nodded. She patted the ground beside her and he moved over to warm her. “His name was Tavist Darke. It sounds like a vampire name but my brother said to call him Tav. That sounds like a dog, right?”
She looked up at him and he nodded.
“So I can call you Tav? You won’t mind?”
He leaned down and licked her ear and nodded. She giggled. Tav decided that Ashley’s giggle had to be among his top ten favorite sounds of all time.
“I bet you wonder how come I’m out here, huh Tav?” she said.
He nodded, snuggling closer.
“I heard Mommy crying before. She was asleep.” Ashley turned tear-filled eyes to him. “Promise you won’t tell, Tav? Promise?” He tilted his head and nodded.
“Daddy used to hit Mommy a lot. He hit me and Jacob, too. But mostly, he hit Mommy. He hit her till he was sure she couldn’t leave the house for a long time.” Her little chin trembled and she released a deep breath on a sob.
Tav rumbled a growl deep in his chest. He couldn’t help it. The chicken-hearted bastard! Ashley’s arm stole around him and gave him a hug. He rested his head on top of hers.
“Even though Daddy’s in jail now, I think he still hits Mommy in her sleep.” Ashley began to shake with sobs and she clung to the black wolf.
Awkwardly, Tav rubbed the little girl’s back with his large paw wanting to cry and rage at the same time. What kind of a monster had Tracey been married to? Humans believed that werewolves were beasts and monsters.
Tav knew that he had a beast inside of him. He remembered the day Riker Montgomery had drawn the beast out of his brother Lakon. Both men were family to him—still there was no good excuse for a man to hurt a woman. None. Tav knew that Lakon would never forgive himself for the injury he’d inflicted on his mate.
Werewolves might be half animal and half man but they didn’t beat on their children. When it came to their mates, even a single incident of abuse was a rare thing indeed.
Finally, Ashley began to calm down. Tav lay down on his side and she draped herself over him, using him as a furry pillow.
“I never said that out loud before,” she sighed, sniffing.
Tav wagged his tail in encouragement. He knew it was important that she talk about this. While he was reasonably sure that Tracey had taken her children to counseling, he knew that no force on earth would make a kid talk before he or she was ready.
“Jacob said he hit that other Tav with a hammer and he didn’t even get mad.” She turned her head to look Tav in the eyes. “He’s a great big guy with great big muscles. He wouldn’t be afraid of my daddy would he?”
Tav shook his head from side to side. No, he wouldn’t. In fact, I’d like to meet him.
“I bet Daddy wouldn’t try to hit Tav.”
Tav wagged his tail and curled his lip in a feral smile. Bring it on, Daddy, I dare you.
“Bet nobody’d ever hit Mom or Jacob or me, or even baby Christopher with either one of you Tavs around, huh?”
Tav wagged his tail again and licked her cheek. Nobody will ever hit any one of you again, sweetheart. Not as long as I have a heartbeat. Even if I don’t I’ll make sure of it.
She pressed against him and made a soft sound. They sat in silence for long minutes. He was sure the exhausted child would doze off pretty soon.
Nuzzling her neck, Tav confirmed that Ashley had fallen asleep. He let her lay there a little longer. Listening intently, he established that all the occupants of the house were deeply asleep as well.
Satisfied, Tav transformed and lifted Ashley. Quietly he carried her into the house and down the hall to her room. He wanted to be quick. No matter how innocent the circumstance, he couldn’t imagine a mother anywhere who’d accept seeing a naked man carrying her eight-year-old daughter around in the middle of the night.
As he left the room, he spotted Ashley’s framed award certificate on the wall by the door. He smiled.
* * * * *
Tav was in the hallway and almost at the front door when he heard Tracey tossing and turning in her bed. Cautiously, he eased her bedroom door open.
She had obviously fallen asleep fresh from the shower. Surveying the scene, Tav saw one towel half wadded, half pinned under the flickering fire of her hair. As his eyes traveled down her body, she turned and the towel that had been wrapped sarong-like around her slid off.
“No, please Jack, no!” she moaned.
Almost against his will, Tav moved into the bedroom and sat down next to her. “Shhh, Tracey, Jack will never hurt you again.”
“No?” she asked, her voice a frightened whisper. She didn’t seem to be awake, but she was responding to him.
“No, Tracey, you’re safe now.” Cupping her face, he brushed her forehead with his lips.
“Safe?” She murmured in question, turning her face into his palm.
Her breasts brushed his arm and her nipples hardened. He felt his already rigid erection begin to throb. He’d love to lie down beside her but he couldn’t take that chance.
“Safe, Tracey,” he reaf
firmed.
She rolled onto her back again with a slight smile. “Safe,” she breathed, adjusting her legs.
Tav looked down at the nest of flame colored curls at the apex of her thighs. He smoothed his hand lightly over one breast and down to those curls. Tracey opened her mouth and a sigh escaped her. She shifted and his fingers skated across the pink flesh poking out of the blaze colored tangle.
“Mmm, Tavist,” she sighed.
Tav edged away from her and eased to his feet. He didn’t know if she knew he was there or if she was thinking about him. He hoped he’d made a good impression on her already. It was all he could do to force himself to leave the room.
Chapter 4
Once on his back porch, Tav transformed again. Naked, he strode into his kitchen and paused beside the counter, his mind going a mile a minute.
Tracey had been so beautiful lying there in the moonlight wearing nothing but a towel. He thought about how soft and pink she’d looked, with her soft waves of fire curtaining her face and caressing her pink-tipped breasts.
The nest of tight little curls that covered her sex had drawn him to touch her. He wanted so much more. Without realizing it, he’d reached for his still hard and still aching erection. Closing his eyes, Tav imagined parting that copper colored thatch and plunging his finger deep. His cock throbbed and his hand tightened around it as he pumped slowly.
His rhythm increased as he imagined splaying her legs wide and touching that soft pink skin with his tongue, his lips… Harder and harder he pumped as his imagination ran away with him, hips rocking in time with his hand. In his mind, he buried himself deep inside Tracey West and he felt his body tighten. With a loud groan, he came, shooting ropes of pearly semen all over the front of his refrigerator.
No question about it, he had it bad. He had to do something and soon. His mate needed him and he needed her.
He would find reasons to go to Tracey’s house. He’d check the back porch for safety. He’d chop wood for the winter. He’d make sure the bushes didn’t crowd her windows.
He’d take his time and develop relationships with all three of her children. Tracey would learn that he wasn’t a threat to her. She’d realize before long that he would never hurt her.
He’d try to touch her as often as he could but he’d be careful and considerate. She’d soon get used to his touch and his presence in her life. She’d trust him and depend on him to keep her safe.
She would learn to associate him with safety and warmth. He might hug her or touch her, but he’d be sure to keep his physical contacts with her brief. Soon, she’d grow to expect him to touch her.
All he needed was a chance with Tracey. That’s all he wanted. He’d had his mate and pup snatched out of his life with no warning. He still grieved for them and he always would. His parents had been taken from him the same way.
His life had been returned to him that day, about four years ago, when he’d seen his adopted brother’s mate, Bethany at the zoo with her pups. August Livingston’s attack on the mother and her babies had outraged Tav. He’d been too incensed to lay back and let life happen around him any longer. Out in the world were people, people and werewolves, who needed help.
Even though he hadn’t wanted to love anyone for fear of losing them, he’d never been sorry that he’d stepped back into the stream of life. He wouldn’t leave Tracey to live in fear anymore either.
Tav knew that nothing would change overnight. He could live with that.
* * * * *
Tracey was wary when Tav walked into the yard carrying his axe and his toolbox the next morning. It was a very large toolbox.
Sitting on the porch with her back to the wall beside the front door enjoying her morning coffee, she couldn’t believe the zing that went through her body at the sight of her handsome neighbor. She didn’t understand what he wanted or why he kept coming back but she couldn’t deny that he had an effect on her.
While his presence still made her a bit uneasy, he brought with him a feeling of calm and security that she hadn’t felt since she was at home. She’d see what he wanted, Tracey decided. Maybe she’d let him stay around a bit—as long as he behaved himself.
Tav walked to the wide porch and set his toolbox down on the ground in front of it. He lowered himself to the porch steps and leaned over to pat her sock-covered foot.
“Morning Tracey,” he smiled. “Is that coffee I smell?” he asked wistfully.
She had every intention of demanding that he tell her why he was there and then telling him to leave and get his own coffee.
“Would you like a cup?” she heard herself ask. Damn that decent upbringing and doubly decent parents!
“I really and truly would,” he said softly with just the hint of a smile.
Disgusted with herself, she rose and went inside to get it. I do NOT want him here! I DON’T! He’ll change—I know he will. All men do.
Tracey could kick herself for her thoughts. Sorry Daddy, Jimbo! There were some good men in the world still, like her father and brother, Jim, but she knew that men could change their spots in the blink of an eye. She hated that her trust of men was nearly nonexistent anymore, but the years had taught her that she really couldn’t rely on anyone but herself in life. While she loved her family, she couldn’t put her burdens upon them, nor put their lives in danger. Her ex would use them against her, she knew he would if given the chance and she just couldn’t accept that as an option.
Automatically, she added milk to a large mug and poured the hot coffee into it. As she turned to carry it outside, she stopped. I don’t know how he likes his coffee. I don’t drink my coffee this way. Why’d I do that?
She took a deep breath and walked out to the porch with the mug. Gingerly, she set it between them and nudged it toward him. After she’d seated herself back against the door, he reached out and took the mug.
“This is perfect. How’d you know how I like it?” he grinned at her. He seemed so pleased.
Looking away, she mumbled, “You drink a lot of milk.”
“Good coffee,” he nodded, looking off into the yard.
Neither spoke for some time, just enjoying the quiet morning. Soon, Tracey heard Ashley stirring. When she heard the toilet flush, she went in and gave Ashley a hug.
Ashley was such a contradiction sometimes. She was so independent that she bounced out of bed and pulled her clothes on right away. She liked to choose her breakfast and make it if it needed making. If she didn’t get a hug and a kiss from her Mama first thing though, her day was shot.
Tracey knew that, with moving so much and trying to stay one-step ahead of their father, Ashley had more worries than most children her age. If a hug was all it took to reassure her little girl and help her start the day feeling loved and secure, Tracey was more than glad to provide one.
Ashley had grabbed her breakfast muffin and poured a glass of milk when Tracey stopped her. They liked to sit on the porch and chat while Ashley ate and before she left for her bus. Tracey couldn’t take her and leave the boys alone, even for a short period of time.
It was agony for her. She usually walked Ashley as far as she could go and still keep an eye on the house. She stood in the road every morning listening until she heard the bus drive away.
At six, Jacob was old enough now to attend kindergarten for half the day and maybe, if they stayed, Tracey would enroll him after Christmas. Right now, it was hard enough to be parted from Ashley all day—academically she knew her daughter was fine, but she still worried.
“Ashley?” Tracey stopped her. “You remember Tavist Darke?” Ashley nodded. “He’s out on the porch drinking a cup of coffee.” Tracey waited, unsure of how Ashley would react.
Tracey couldn’t read anything in her child’s nearly black eyes. Finally, Ashley turned and picked up a second muffin.
“Are you going to have one, Mama?” she asked.
“Okay,” Tracey answered, confused. She grabbed a muffin and followed her daughter.
She wa
tched Ashley closely as the girl went through the door and walked up to the man seated on the edge of the porch. She stopped just a little closer than arm’s length away. Tracey couldn’t believe how much trust she was showing this man. Ashley never got within grabbing distance of a man. Not ever.
“Would you like a muffin, Tav?” she asked, holding it out.
“Doggone right I would!” he grinned. He held his palm out so that she could set the muffin in the middle of it.
He waited for her to move away before he closed his hand around the little cake.
“Did you sleep okay, Ashley?” Tracey asked her. Mostly, she just wanted to start a conversation.
“Umm,” she hesitated, “At first I didn’t, but then I did.”
Tav smiled. He still didn’t say anything. Tracey opened her mouth to ask him why he’d come this morning lugging his giant toolbox when Ashley spoke up.
“Tav?” he turned more fully to look at her. She was seated next to her mother near the door. “How come you don’t have any kids?” she asked.
“Ashley!” Tracey gasped. She couldn’t believe her daughter would ask such a personal question.
“Its okay, Tracey,” he said softly, putting his muffin and his coffee down beside him. Looking at Ashley, he said, “I had a little boy.”
Tracey watched, horrified as the big man’s eyes filled with tears. He held them back somehow. She couldn’t believe the emotion this man showed, especially in front of near strangers. In all her life, Tracey had never seen a grown man shed a tear, or even get choked up. It just drew her to him still more.
“He’d be your age now, in the third grade.” He swallowed noticeably. “He and his mother were killed by a drunk driver seven years ago. Tate was still a baby.”
Nobody moved for several seconds. Then Ashley launched herself at Tav, tears running down her little face.
“I’m so sorry, Tav!” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry God took your family away.”