“You guess?”
“Ben.” Her eyebrows slightly bumped together. “There’s still a little girl inside that has dreamed of a white dress, my prince, the vows, all of that. Time went by slowly when I was waiting for my prince to show up, and now that I’ve found my you…”
“You want it all.”
“Yes, I want it all.”
I was surprised by my own joy in knowing she wanted to do it right and do it all with me.
I picked her up from her lounger and carried her to the water.
“Then, milady, you shall have it all.”
I dunked her with me as I fell into the water playfully. She pushed away and retaliated with a dunking of her own. The sweet sound of laughter and fun-loving playfulness caused a calm within me, a foreign happiness unlike the times when I thought I was truly happy. I had been wrong. This was where my heart had landed safely, in her hands.
We spent the rest of the day exploring the house and its grounds. We stumbled upon a well-hidden natural spring, a secret paradise all its own. Completely out of sight, surrounded by four small waterfalls, a lagoon nestled in the lush tropical vegetation. It was heaven on earth.
The rest of the week went by quicker than I could have imagined. We adventured out in our deluxe golf cart, driving over ivy-covered bridges and exploring secluded places to make love, unable to satisfy the insatiable appetite we fueled in each other.
There seemed to be endless activities, we tried them all. And if I never see another oceanic-related jet sky, surfboard, or any water related sport, it would be too soon. Our nights we spent dining on scrumptious, decadent meals. Jordan’s beauty only increased with each passing day, with her sun-kissed skin darker and her hair slightly paler framing her beautiful face.
With each fading sunset, the colors disappeared as the water glistened from the moon. Each night, glancing over at her, the dim light flickered between us as if I was living a dream.
And last, but not least, we christened each of the eight spacious bedroom suites in the house. The time we’d spent together here had solidified our relationship as a whole. Although it had not been enough, as we left paradise, we felt confident in the bubble we had cocooned ourselves within.
We weren’t prepared for the world to shatter before our eyes.
I was treading water, just waiting for the tide to pull me under.
The scene played out as if it were a movie. I began to shake with anger, too stunned to react. My perception was foggy as the harsh reality set in.
“You’re not equipped to handle this,” she said, noting the tension surging through my body.
“When can I have access?” I asked bitterly.
My eyes contradicted my words. I was hanging on to my sanity by a thread.
She saw it, too. The agony ran so deep, she concluded I wasn’t fit to be involved.
“You’re too close.”
Banned from the investigation, I stood on the outside and crossed my arms over my chest. How dare they start without informing me? I’d been completely capable throughout the entire investigation.
Our gazes locked, and all I saw was the same detached look that was there an hour ago.
“Steel, you’ll have access once we’re done here,” Nick said under her breath. “Read the report. The connections are too close to ignore.”
“Of course, they are—he’s one of my men. Same killer, same MO.”
“What the hell is his problem?” some asshole asked, and my jaw flexed as I thought about tackling yet another fucking FBI agent.
“There’s always inconsistencies within each case. You must look for them and know the details about the others. I’m that person,” I said to her once the other agents were out of ear shot.
“You could jeopardize this entire investigation in your state.” She continued working around me, the parameters clearly identified. “Not to mention I don’t have the authority to allow you in, Steel.”
Of all people, I should have understood her position. She was determined not to compromise the case. I couldn’t blame her for that. But it didn’t stop me from coming unglued. Continuing to protest, is there a measure of justice here?
Dallas Sanderson was the only man who had been killed who had a wife and child. I knew I was losing it; a man knows his limits. This was triggering every horrific incident in my past. I felt like I was unraveling at the seams, as my nerves bounced in every direction. How could I explain that I hadn’t kept him safe?
“Go home, or to your office. I will meet up with you once I have the preliminary report.”
I felt the ache in her voice, her attempt to calm the storm before it crashed. She was right; I needed to leave before I lost my mind.
“Okay.”
I held up both hands and walked away, powerless and frustrated. There was no room for what-ifs in my world. Our wholes lives were about facts. We spent our lives investigating things every day. Danger simply went with the job.
If you wanted something you took it, unleashing the savage within on anyone standing in your path. But, not with her. Not Nick—she held the power.
I pulled up to my agency, shifted into park, and killed the engine, gripping the steering wheel in a death grip. I needed to figure out how the FBI hadn’t been able to locate the man responsible. It’s as if he was a fucking ghost.
Dallas was dead. That made four men now. Bile rose in my throat, but I pushed it down. There was no time for my weaknesses. I knew who had killed him, even if I couldn’t prove it. Not yet, anyway.
“Flynn, anything to report?”
“No, sir, not on our end. We’re locked out of the investigation as well. I have a few men researching the Russian, but truthfully, we’re not coming up with much. There’s no connections to you. Not one.”
“Thank you, I’m expecting a call from the FBI. They have agreed to share their findings.”
“That’s something, I guess,” he said quietly.
Once in my office, I arranged yet another funeral. It was the least I could do. I was procrastinating meeting with Dallas’s family until I had some answers. Something concrete. If I had any evidence, I could offer it as some comfort. It wouldn’t make up for their loss, but justice had been proven to help with the grieving process.
I wanted to find the prick and crush him with my bare hands. But he had outsmarted us at every turn.
The sudden knock on my door jarred me back to the present.
“You sure didn’t make any new friends today,” Nick said as she walked in.
“Is that a crime?”
I leaned back in my chair and brushed a hand over my perfectly neat military-style cut.
“No but burning bridges doesn’t get you very far. Do you have a conference room?”
I jerked my chin to the hall, pointing out the door on the right. I tried to remind myself that she wasn’t the enemy. She was here to assist. Despite myself, I would remain calm.
I watched as she laid out paperwork, organized and efficient. I had to hand it to her, she knew her job.
“Sorry about earlier.” I attempted a small smile. “I was angry, and frustrated.”
“I could tell.”
Of course she could.
“You have to stop beating yourself up. Rehashing the past won’t bring him or any of them back. Finding the killer has to be our focus.”
She paused, and I hungered for every new clue, every bit of news.
“What can I say?” I muttered. “They were my brothers, my men.”
My pulse intensified, and I knew she understood. She had the advantage of being emotionally removed as I was smack-dab in the middle of a hurricane, spinning out of control.
“Shall we begin? This time he was sloppy, and it’s a mistake that will cost him. We found some DNA, and prints. Unfortunately, we won’t get anything back for days, so we’ll be focusing our investigation in other ways. And I need your help to do that.”
She took the chair opposite mine.
“I can do
that.”
“There’s no doubt about it—your instincts were right. These deaths are all linked, and I’m convinced this is a personal vendetta towards you. I suggest we move forward as a team, investigating people in your recent past. Excluding your men, of course. Who are the last five people you’ve had substantial contact with, both professionally and personally?”
I stared at the blank page she pushed my way a moment too long, then I wrote down five names. But I didn’t know how comfortable I felt about one name in particular. The pen lingered over that page, and I was ready to scratch through it. It was the one person I had opened up to, then pushed away right out of my life forever.
“Let’s start with Madison Perry.”
I pulled her number from my phone and held it up while Nick dialed.
“Voice mail.”
“Jordan Mitchelle.”
A familiar guilt surged in me as Nick said her name. I knew I should prepare her, explain that we had a brief personal relationship. Something told me I’d regret it, but I wanted to believe otherwise.
Nick’s nod told me Jordan had answered.
“Chic coffee house on third street? Yes, seven is fine.”
Then she ended the call.
“She’ll meet us after work.”
I listened to her leave two more messages, contacting everybody in my top five.
My mind returned to the report, scanning it, studying it, and looking for that one clue I’d missed. I had a feeling I was overlooking something of importance, and I could tell that Nick thought the same.
Seven rolled around quicker than anticipated. I knew I would be blindsiding Jordan. I also knew she’d be upset, but we needed her statement now, so I had to risk it.
Listening to Nick’s call, there had been no mention of my name. I couldn’t lie; there would still be an awkwardness between us. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d seen her since that last horrible morning together. But I had never fully explained why, or given a reason as to why I had pushed her away. When I thought back on it now, it was actually worse than that. I misled her into believing the worst about me, which had only hurt her more.
Nick and I arrived first.
“Chic, indeed.”
The coffeehouse was much more than a java joint. It was a trendy restaurant sporting chandeliers and plush surroundings.
“For two?” the hostess asked.
“Three,” Nick answered. “Somewhere private, if possible. We’re expecting a third.”
“This way.”
She led us to a crescent-shaped booth.
“Coffee for me,” I said.
“Same,” Nick said as she pulled out her paperwork. Her notebook was open, ready to take notes.
My nerves kicked up as we waited for Jordan. The server arrived with the coffee I now regretted ordering, so I decided to let it sit.
I saw Jordan when she entered, her eyes searching the stylish place. I knew the moment her gaze hit mine. Recognition halted her steps, and her stride slowed as she approached our booth.
“Jordan.”
My voice sounded tortured, and the guilt creeping up in me was attempting to spill over.
Nick also stood, and I was relieved that Jordan’s stare was now focused on her.
“Jordan, I’m Nick Lancaster. You know Steel, of course. Thank you for meeting with us.”
I could feel Nick’s questioning look toward me. She knew something was off as we all took our seats.
A moment of awkward silence lingered. It had not gotten easier to be in Jordan’s company. I rested my forearms on the table, my fingers threaded together. My palms grew damp at the sight of her.
“So, Jordan, we are investigating a series of murders.”
I saw Jordan’s head snap to mine, her gaze confused.
“Why would you want to talk to me about murders?”
“We are looking for any connection to Steel, since we think he’s being targeted. Unfortunately, that’s all the details I can go into at this moment.”
The waiter approached, interrupting Nick’s flow.
“Just water for me,” Jordan said, smiling politely at him. Then she turned her attention back to Nick. “A connection? I don’t understand.”
Her gaze seemed frozen on Nick’s. It was as if she was forcing herself to avoid making eye contact with me.
“Have you experienced any unusual happenings lately?”
“It’s odd that you ask, but yes, just recently, I returned from a trip. I felt someone lurking in the shadows when I got back. And for a few brief moments, I brushed it off, until I saw the red spark of a cigarette one night. It glowed brighter, as if someone was inhaling, then it faded. He was between the trees, camouflaged by the woods and the darkness. I was at the quick-stop gas station only minutes away from home, so I quickly left.”
“Is there any reason as to why someone would be following you?”
“Following me? I didn’t think he was. I just thought he was some random creep awaiting his next prey. I left quickly, and he didn’t follow me.”
“Are you sure?”
“I live in a secure building. I’m sure he couldn’t make it past the front door.”
“What about your mother’s house?”
The words came out before I could catch them, and I regretted them the moment they landed.
“I moved.”
Nick’s attention flew to mine, and I knew what was coming, so I grit my teeth in preparation.
“And how did you come to know Steel?”
“It actually started with Alex and Madison. Maybe you should speak with them.”
“I will, but I’m here with you now. It would help to get a full detailed account from everyone’s’ perspective.”
Jordan looked my way, as if preparing me for the words to come.
Karma.
“Madison Perry was engaged to Graham Carrington, but they had a falling out, and she ended it. Graham couldn’t accept the breakup, however, and had a mental breakdown. He proceeded to stalk her, even showing up and ruining Theo and Eden’s wedding. He held Madison hostage, gun in hand, but she got away.”
I knew how difficult this must be for her, rehashing those terrifying memories, combined with the added bonus of my presence.
“Taking the first opportunity, Graham snatched me. Steel here, shot him, killed him, and saved me.”
I felt Nick’s eyes burning into me, but all the case files had been sent to her, including this one.
“Then the rumors started to spread. It all boiled down to impressing his father, Myles Carrington, a very powerful and influential man who had a promising future laid out for his only son. But Graham was his ultimate disappointment.”
She took a sip of her water as my stomach coiled and squeezed into a hard knot.
“And that resulted in you becoming friends with Steel?”
The guilt that lingered in me was thick as fragmented memories of that last day together still haunted me. It was past time I took some of the heat.
“More than friends, actually. A brief relationship developed,” I said, glancing back and forth between each woman. “And it ended after the murders began. No one was safe around me.”
Jordan’s eyes snapped to mine.
I was finally giving her the reason why I’d broke it off so suddenly. I could feel her rising emotion, a volcano about to erupt. I had hurt her, and this was my payback.
“Is that why you sent me packing? Why you pushed me out of your bed the moment I woke up, without so much as an explanation? Oh wait, there was one. ‘Hey, it’s been fun,’” she scoffed. “But it was actually about my safety, about distance, about one more person in the way? You may find that noble, Steel, but I actually see it as a cowardly way out.” She stood and held out her palm to shake Nick’s hand. “That’s all I have to say.”
The last thing I’d wanted was to hurt her, and she was only steps outside when I caught up with her, hooking my hand around her arm, causing her to stop immediately.
“Wait, please.”
She yanked out of my hold.
“Jordan, I’m sorry I fucked up. Trust me, if I could go back, I would have handled it all so differently. I never thought I would lose you forever. I never would have lead you on, started a relationship if I’d known it would put you in danger.” My voice a whisper now. “I know you’ve moved on, and I’m happy for you, but I need you to know that you were very important to me.”
“Okay.”
Her single word was soft, even forgiving.
“Thank you for today. I think Nick has what she needs now, so we won’t be bothering you again.”
“I wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“Do what?’
“Be nice. It’s not as easy to hate you.”
A flicker of a smile appeared, and then she quickly turned towards her car.
As I made my way back to Nick, I didn’t know what damage I’d done. My feelings were growing for Nick, but I may have just ruined it all.
Nick’s gaze was on her paperwork, but I knew she was probably questioning the scenario that had just played out, making me out to be the bad guy. Who the fuck knew? Maybe I was.
“I think we have a very good lead,” she said instead, ignoring what had just occurred.
Her brows wrinkled, and there was something missing in her eyes.
A thought echoed in my head as pain hit me where my heart used to be. The last thing I needed was to have that hope crushed so suddenly. I had feared I couldn’t hold on to her, and now my shoulders sank because that’s exactly what it felt like.
“Don’t pretend like nothing has happened.”
Our eyes held, and she now knew the truth, I was capable of walking away if I had to.
“If you’re upset, tell me. Talk about it.”
“It’s fine.”
“We need to meet with Myles Carrington,” I said, searching for any cracks in her armor.
“I’ll contact him as soon as I get back to my office,” she said coolly.
She refrained from telling me if I would be joining her. By the looks of it, the answer was no. I would have to agree that it was a dicey move on her part, showing up with the person who was responsible for pulling the trigger. On the other hand, it could prove quite strategic. I was going for the latter.
Surviving Jordon (Surviving Series Book 3) Page 18