by TJWEST
After a couple glasses of wine I started to relax. So when Matt sat next to me I couldn't stop myself from kissing him. He took our glasses, put them on the coffee table, brought my face into his hands and kissed me deeply. My upper body surrounded his. I then straddled him. My dress went above my knees, then to my waist. His hands covered my waist and my back while my hands went straight to his hair. Our breathing went heavy, and then it went hot. I kissed his jaw down to his throat. Oh. My. God. His throat was magnificent. I could feel his pulse racing. His hands dug into my ass. I lifted myself just so my breasts could be in his face. His hands squeezed them while his breath warmed my upper chest; slowly licking just above my left breast - I was so turned on.
“God, Marty you feel so fucking good.” He said in his husky, breathy voice.
The way he speaks to me makes me feel even hotter. I need him. Now. Whether it's the wine making me feel this way or not, I need him between my legs.
“Take me upstairs.” I said in urgency.
My legs stay wrapped around his body, as he takes me up the stairs and into my room. He roughly lays me down on my bed, gets on top of me and devours my lips, my tongue, my neck, my chest. I grab his shirt and take it out of his pants. I help him take it off. He then flips me over onto my stomach and unzips my dress. I can feel the heat from his hands. My skin is drawn to them. He kisses my lower back which makes me shiver. He brings my body up. I'm now sitting on my knees. His hands slip my straps down from my shoulders. He grabs my breasts and squeezes them - kissing the side of my neck. I have my head bent sideways while my hands grab his head from behind me. Our breathing is rapid. Heat is filling the room - Oh, how I cannot wait to fuck this gorgeous beast of a man!
Matt pulls my dress down to my waist. I turn around, lay flat so he can take the rest off. His eyes are heated, and dark. Nothing but passion and fire. I'm all naked for him, feeling so aroused by the way he is looking at me. I sit up and unbutton his belt. I look up into his face. Lick my lips.
“You drive me insane when you do that.”
“Do what?” I ask innocently.
He chuckles, “Like you don't even know. Licking those damn lips of yours, that's what.”
“Oh. You like that, do ya?” Licking my lips again.
“Fuck.” He mutters, landing hard on my body, kissing me rough. He bites my bottom lip, moans and says, “Taste good, baby.”
I smile and laugh. I help him take off his jeans along with his briefs. He's so ready for me. I'm so ready for him.
He grabs my ass, lifts my hips, and drives into me. So deep. So good. I wrap my legs around his waist, grab his muscled back and move with every thrust he makes. He takes hold of my face, kisses me. Tongues swirl together. Bodies are rocking. Hands come together, squeezing by our force. He slows down, slides in and out so slowly that my clit is tickled. Holy Fuck! I push him as hard as I can and make him roll onto his back. I straddle him. I take hold of his shaft and place it inside my wetness. “Oh, fuck yeah.” I whisper. He grabs my waist and helps me ride him while my ass slaps against his thighs. I bend down, kiss him and moan in pleasure. He follows suit and groans. Fuck, this is what harmony is!
“Come for me, baby.” His eyes meet mine and they are intense.
I can feel it; it's building in me and when the electricity finally hits me it's……. . Epic.
I'm now flipped hind onto my back and Matt takes control, once again. Thrust after thrust when he finds his epic ending. Oh, God what magic…
CHAPTER 12
MATT
Marty feels so good curled in my arms; back against my front. My arms wrapped around her
beautiful, petite body. I kiss the top of her head and state, “We haven't done much talking, have we?”
She sighs, “Mmm, not much to talk about.”
“What do ya mean, baby? There's so much I wanna know about you. For starters, how did you end up in San Diego?”
I feel her stiffen. Not sure what that means, but it doesn't feel right. She unhooks my arms and turns to face me. She touches my face with the palm of her hand. She kisses me softly.
“I came here for a fresh start.” She closes her eyes, wraps her arm across my waist.
“And?” I urge her to say more.
“And, that's it. A fresh start. It was time for a change. I was in Europe for about twelve years.
Moved back home over a year ago and decided that Florida wasn't for me anymore. So yes, that's it.”
That couldn't be all she had to say. I urged even more, “Okay, sooo, what about Europe? Why did you decide to move there in the first place?”
She sighed, turned on her back, brought the sheet up to her chest and looked up towards the ceiling. “After you left, Matt, my life felt like it was going no where. I was a zombie, but kept up a smiling face for everyone. My parents got worried about me - almost sent me to a shrink because I was so depressed. The only way out of that was to pretend I was happy again.”
What she was telling me was killing me, but I needed to hear her speak, to open up to me. She continued. “I applied for college all over the place. I knew I had to get out of Florida. Out of my boring, fake life. So even though I was accepted to the state colleges I chose Paris. My parents weren't happy about that, but college, at the time, was not in the cards for me. I moved to Paris and just began.....living again. I was there for about six months before I decided to go to one of their local colleges. Got my bachelors in photography.” She took deep breath and looked at me.
“I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. If I had known -” She cut me off. She brought her finger to my lips.
“Shh, hey, stop blaming yourself okay? What's done is done.” Wow, she amazes me. What I put her through is something I'll never forgive myself for.
I nod my head “Yeah. Right.” I cleared my throat. “So...What about your ex-husband? How did you meet him?”
I could tell this was not a subject she was wanting to open up to me about because her face changed; her eyes felt distant, almost cold. With in a blink of an eye she smiled, dodging my question. “I'm not in the mood to talk about him. What I do want to know is, what's with those tattoos? Tell me about them.”
Whoa, talk about changing the subject. I guess her sharing time is all I'm gonna get for now, but I'll take it. Hopefully, in time, she will not hold back on me, because I have a feeling the story has not ended. Not by a long shot.
I told her about my two tattoos. I have one on my left shoulder blade - the gumbo limbo tree. Marty told me she saw a glimpse of it and asked to see more. She traced her fingers over the tree, sending shivers up my spine. She kissed my shoulder and whisper, “I love it.” At that moment I wanted to flip her over and dig deep inside her again, but she asked about my other tattoo - the one on the back of my neck. It was the number twelve. The number of brothers that
died during the war. She kissed that as well. She wrapped her arms around my chest and kept kissing my back while I held her hands and closed my eyes. Damn. What she does to me.
I got my chance. I turned around, brought her chest to mine and kissed her like there was no tomorrow. I took her one more time. I needed to be inside her. To feel her heat. To feel our bodies connect. Damn. What she does to me!
*****
MARTY
The pain is excruciating. I feel like I'm on fire, but from the inside. My abdomen wants to explode. I can tell there is blood. Lots of blood. My legs feel wet, cold, and sticky. I hear lots of noise. So many voices. I have no idea who they are. I know I'm in trouble but can't comprehend the situation. I see a bright light through my closed eyes. It's so bright. Have I died? I'm still hearing voices but now they are asking me something. I can't understand them. I'm feeling pain again. I scream “Argh!!!!!!” I'm being pulled back into something warm. I'm breathing heavily. I hear him say, “Hey, hey,shhh, I've got ya. You're okay..Shhh.” I open my eyes. I'm in bed. In Matt's arms. Safe.
Then I start crying. Not a little, but sobbing. I turn to him, holding him for
dear life, sobbing on his shoulder. “You weren't there. You weren't fucking there!” I kept saying.
“What do ya mean by that, babe?” He took me by the face and asked me again, urging me to explain.
It was like I had just woken up. I found myself in tears, feeling very confused. “Oh, my. Um...” I stuttered. “I'm...I'm so sorry. I need to...I need to get some air.” I get out of bed, grab a robe from my closet and briskly, head downstairs.
I went straight to the deck. Who knows if Matt followed, but being outside is what I needed. I
needed to breathe. Where the hell did that dream come from? I haven't dreamt of that night for a few weeks or so. Why tonight of all nights? Why with Matt? Why couldn't I get over the fact that Matt wasn't a part of my life back then? I just can't get over it. I jumped a little when I felt his hands on my shoulders.
“Whoa! Didn't mean to make you jump.”
“Sorry.” I whispered.
“Don't be sorry. Something happened that made you upset. You wanna talk about it?”
He was so calm and sweet to me. I turned around and wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head on his bared chest - his beautiful, muscled chest. It felt so good. I shook my head “No. I can't. Not right now. Not yet.
He kisses the top of my head and sighs, “Marty, look at me.”
I look up at his beautiful, caring eyes while mine must look red and puffy.
He puts both hands on my face. “I want you to know that you can trust me. I'm not ever going to leave you again. Not when I just found you. You're mine, baby. Mine.” Oh, my God. I had nothing to say, but to listen as Matt continued. “So that means, whatever is hurting you, or whatever problems you may have, those become a part of me. Your pain becomes a part of us. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
“Yes, I do but -” He cuts me off.
“Look, I know you must think we are moving too fast, but the truth is, baby, I'm not wasting anymore time without you. I'm not going to live my life without you. If there is one thing that I've learned while being in the service, being in war, watching the people I love die right before my eyes - is life is too fucking short. Take what you can while you have it. Take what you love and keep it. You got me?”
I was speechless and nodded in response.
Matt exhales and says, “Good.” He kisses my lips and brings me back up to bed.
I curl back into Matt's body and was able to sleep without having another nightmare. I just hope I don't get anymore. I'm not sure I could handle it...
CHAPTER 13
MARTY
I haven't had anymore nightmares. I haven't discussed my 'down moment' with Matt. He says he's never leaving me again. He says he's there for me. He is saying all the right things and I should be on cloud nine right now, but I'm not. I love that he wants to help me, but he can't. There are no super powers for healing my damaged past. It is what it is - damaged. He can't take away my pain or take away the nightmares that I get. He can't take away what happened to me. I just don't know how to let him in. How do I tell him? He already blames himself for my depression. I don't want him to feel any responsibility. My life turned out the way it did because I chose that path. I chose to marry someone who practically gambled my life away. Matt didn't choose that for me. When or if I tell him I know he's going to go down that road and blame himself.
The morning after my nightmare and after Matt had left for work I decided to give my new shrink, Dr. Katz, a call. I was so grateful she got me in so quickly. I brought up my new, rediscovered relationship. She seemed pleased about Matt and thought it was a good thing, especially for my recovery.
“Why are my nightmares starting up again? I thought I got through them and they were disappearing.” I asked, sounding frustrated.
“Marty, we can't control what we dream. It's how we handle the dream when we wake up. I think being with Matt may be a positive step. If you wake up from that nightmare let him try to ease your pain by holding you. From what you have described, Matt seems like he wants to be there for you through thick and thin. Let him inside. Let him know your pain. It's not an easy process, but it's a start. Take it slow.”
I sat there, trying to process her advice, still unsure - scared.
“Marty, you still seem undecided about sharing your past with Matt. Tell me why that is?
I was beginning to feel anxious again; picking at the cuticles on my fingernails, I muttered, “I don’t like talking about it - with anyone, especially Matt. He’s the first person, since that awful night, who has made me feel hope - why would I want to burden him with my baggage? He doesn’t deserve it, no matter what he says to me. He’ll blame himself because that’s who he is. He’ll blame himself for not staying in my life - I know he will. He’s such a good person I don’t want to afflict this much pain on him; he’s felt too much pain already, I can’t bear to cause him anymore - I love him too much - I always have.
Dr. Katz calmly stated, “It’s a lot of baggage to keep inside yourself, Marty. It’s definitely not a healthy way to live and it certainly isn’t healthy for your newly, rekindled relationship with him. Locking away your past will not help; by sharing this with him it will help release the negative energy and possibly the nightmares. Keep that mind.”
I left her office feeling even worse because I knew she was right. Matt was back in my life - he wasn’t going anywhere, anytime soon and was eventually going to find out, whether I wanted him to or not.
The next two weeks that followed we've done what any other couple would be doing; flea market shopping, going to dinner, having sex, walking the beach, hanging out with his buddies from his shop. All the things you expect from a normal couple, yet I feel far from normal. It's been really hard to let my guard down and I can tell he notices. He hasn't tried pushing me by asking more questions, he just tells me when I'm ready he'll be there to listen. He's really too good to be true. I'm so afraid of losing him because whenever a good thing happens to me something takes it away from me. It always does.
*****
MATT
Most nights are spent at Marty's; the sand was right at her back door, which was bitchin', so I chose to stay at her place over mine. Most of all being anywhere with Marty was my favorite place.
We went antiquing this past weekend at a little flea market up in Vista. She was searching for vintage cameras to add to her collection. She had others boxed away, but wasn't interested in getting them out. I wanted to ask her why, but didn't want to push her.
She hasn't opened up to me about her nightmare from last week. It's like it never happened. I'm not sure what I can do to help. I'm just wondering when or if she'll ever trust me enough talk
to me. Influenced from her life apart from me, she’s changed; she’s become secluded, and distant from when we were teenagers. I know people change over time, but when I look into her eyes I don't see happiness. I don't see that spark anymore. I feel whatever happened back in Europe, with her ex-husband, something or someone took it away - took away my Marty. I want to get her back. I want her to be truly happy again.
“I don't want to go in today. I want to stay here and fuck you all day.” We just finished making love and I was hesitant of going into the shop. Her front was against mine, arms and legs tangled together and feeling our hearts slow down. It was the best wake up call. I fucking loved kissing her. Sucking her tits. Feeling her wetness with my fingers. I could touch her down there all day and die happy. Watching her come was a sight to see. Something for my eyes only.
Beautiful.
“Mmmm. I'd like to, honey, but -” I fucking kissed her. She just called me honey, which was music to my ears. She started laughing during our kiss - another reason to make me happy. I loved her laugh. I'd give anything to hear her laugh more often. “but I have stuff to do.”
“Oh yeah? What stuff baby? What's more important than spending your time, in bed, with me, making love all day?” Hell yeah, I got more giggles from her. “How about we go take a shower, that way we c
an prolong this morning without thinking about the stuff you need to do.” And that's just what we did. I got to see Marty come one more time. Nothing can beat that.
*****
“I'll be down in a minute, so go ahead and start the coffee.” Marty uttered as I was heading downstairs. As I was making coffee, checking my phone for messages I glanced over at Marty's Laptop. Her screen saver was on and I realized the pictures that were shuffling by were pictures of me? What the hell? I moved closer, looking at each picture that popped up. It was definitely me - me on the beach playing my guitar. Holy fuck they were incredible. What's even more incredible was that she had no idea it was me; my face was not in the pictures.
I remember that night.
I haven't been out on the beach without her since that night I played.
“Mmmm that coffee smells wonderful!” I heard Marty exclaim as she was coming down the stairs. I turn around, take her hand and guide her to her laptop. “Hey,” she chuckles, “What's going on?”
“These pictures, on your screen. You took them right?”
“Uh, yeah why?”
“Those are me, babe.”
She gasped, covering her mouth with her hands. She whispered, “Oh my God! I cannot believe it.” She sat down in the computer chair and clicked on the files with the pictures. The file was titled, 'Lonely Silhouette.'
“Why did you name them 'Lonely Silhouette'?” I dragged one of the bar stools over and sat down next to her.
“Oh..um.. because you memorized me. I thought you looked so lonely out there all by yourself. I couldn't see your face, just your back, and it was getting dark so your body looked like a shadow - a silhouette. I heard you playing, but couldn't quite catch the melody. I loved watching you but also felt sad for you. It was such a raw moment for me because that was the first time, in a long time, I had picked up my camera to take pictures.”
Okay, this was heavy. She was staring at the pictures, like it was the first time, and she was actually sharing a piece of her heart with me.