by Unknown
"Molly said you wished to speak to me. Is anything amiss, my lord?" she asked as she came into her father's library where Adrian had said he would speak with her.
He smiled faintly, but she could see he looked unnaturally pale, and her heart rate stepped up to an uncomfortable pace. "Not so far as I know. But I had something I wished to discuss with you, cousin, and I thought we would be comfortable here."
"Oh?" she said as she moved to the small couch he indicated and seated herself and was almost immediately sorry she'd couched the word as a question. She didn't really want to know. "Do you know, the house is quiet as a tomb. I wonder where everyone has gone off to?"
Adrian frowned slightly as he settled himself beside her. "I believe your father had business to attend to in Charles Town, your brothers went with him. Cousin Claudia has gone out visiting. I must suppose she took Danielle with her."
"Oh no," Sophia disputed immediately. "I saw Mama from my window when she left. She was quite alone. Danielle must be around here somewhere, or perhaps she's gone out riding."
Adrian did not look pleased. "You're certain she didn't go with your mother? Cousin Claudia mentioned that she would take Danielle with her."
"Did she? Well, perhaps Danielle didn't wish to go. Come to think on it, however," she added, her eyes twinkling with amusement, "it is doubtful she went riding. I don't think she really cares for it. Perhaps she walked down to the summerhouse? I've noticed she seems to have a decided preference for the place. Do you think we should look for her?"
A look that was a ludicrous mixture of discomfort and extreme annoyance crossed Adrian's features before he managed a smile that was more grimace than smile. "Do you know, dear cousin, I am pleased, very pleased that you have taken up my ward."
"Oh posh!" Sophia broke in. "You make it sound as if I did something, when the truth is I've enjoyed myself immensely. Danny has become almost a sister to me. I love her dearly."
Adrian controlled his temper with an effort. "I'm happy to hear it. For the moment, however, I think we will dispense with Danielle's company. It may have escaped your notice," he added dryly, "but I had thought we might have a few moments alone."
"Oh!" Sophia exclaimed in mock surprise. "Whatever for?" She was saved from having her question answered by Levi's entrance with the tea tray. "Oh look! Tea! How very thoughtful of you, my lord, to have ordered our tea! I'm positively parched."
"Yes," Adrian said slowly, watching her through narrowed eyes as she took the tea pot and began to pour. "It was thoughtful of me, wasn't it? And so remiss of me to have forgotten I'd done so. My memory must be failing me."
Sophia blushed faintly as she handed him his cup. "Well, I shouldn't worry over it if I were you. I've found I'm a little absentminded myself when I have other things on my mind."
"Do you have other things on your mind, cousin? Something, perhaps, that you wish to tell me?" Adrian asked, returning his cup to the tea tray untasted.
Sophia looked at him wide-eyed. "Not that I know of, my lord. Have you forgotten that it was you who wished to speak to me? Or perhaps whatever it was you wished to speak to me about, it's slipped your mind?" She set her cup down and made as if to rise. "You mustn't think a thing of it. You can always ask me later."
Adrian put out a restraining hand. "It hasn't slipped my mind, and I think you know very well what I wished to ask."
"Did you wish to?"
Adrian's dark brows snapped together. "What a curious question. Perhaps you'll enlighten me as to just what you mean by it."
"Come, my lord! It's a very simple question. Surely you could not have difficulty with it. I'm asking if the matter you called me here to discuss was one you actually wished to discuss . Or is it, perhaps, something you feel constrained, by my father and yours, to discuss."
Adrian's face hardened with anger. "I am constrained by no man's wishes but my own."
"Very well, by circumstances then!" Sophia said tightly, feeling her own anger rise.
"We are all constrained by circumstances. It is called life, my dear. One does what he, or she, must, according to the rules and regulations society has placed upon us. Oh, I know there's the tendency to rebel from time to time. I've felt it myself, done it myself. But there comes a time in everyone's life when they are forced to see that rules have a purpose, to promote civilization and prevent chaos, and they can not be allowed to fall by the way."
"But that's absurd! You mean to say that we must accept what fate has handed us, in the guise of our parents, without a struggle to set it upon a course we prefer! One has only one life, after all! Surely that gives one the right to live it as he sees fit!"
"Within reason," Adrian said tiredly, feeling his anger dissipate.
"But there's nothing at all reasonable in this!" Sophia objected.
"You mean to refuse the offer then before it's even tendered?"
Sophia glared at him. "You know very well I can't!"
Adrian nodded. "Because you are constrained."
Sophia got to her feet and began to pace agitatedly. After watching her for several moments, Adrian rose and went to her, taking her hands in his and looking down at her. "Come, cousin," he said, smiling whimsically. "It can not be so very bad as that. We get along very well, you and I . . . . At least, I suppose I can only speak for myself, but I most assuredly enjoy your company. You do not find me distasteful?"
Sophia pursed her lips in disgust. "You know very well that I do not. No woman in her right mind could find you distasteful. As you must be well aware." She was both surprised and amused when Adrian blushed profusely at the comment.
"I'm hardly such a paragon as that," he disputed dryly. "I hope you don't mean to accuse me of overweening conceit. I shall be mortally wounded in you do, and there isn't a breath of truth to it. I'm a modest fellow, I protest."
Sophia, seeing the teasing light in his eyes, chuckled reluctantly. She sobered almost immediately, however, studying him earnestly. "Do you love me, Adrian, even a little?"
The flush wasn't so apparent this time. "How could you doubt that I hold you in the highest regard? Surely you can see that I've developed a great fondness for you, cousin."
Sophia sighed, averting her face. "You've never kissed me."
Adrian tucked his fingers beneath her chin and tipped it up, bending his head to brush a light caress across her lips.
She looked him over frankly when he lifted his head, sighing with a mixture of disappointment and relief. She'd been almost afraid for him to kiss her. There was no getting around the fact that he was a monstrously attractive man. And she admitted, to herself, that she'd secretly nursed immense curiosity. The kiss had been amazingly disappointing, however. She'd felt warmth, and a rush of affection, but no more than she felt when she kissed Robin or William, or even her father. "Really, Adrian. Can you not do better than that?" she objected calmly, though she felt a blush rise at her daring. It hadn't, somehow, seemed so awfully brazen to suggest the thing when she'd considered it. Regardless, she was determined to prove her point and, with an effort, kept her gaze steady.
His dark brows rose. "I beg your pardon?"
She slid the hands she'd rested against his chest up to encircle his neck. "Surely,if we're to be engaged, if you love me as you say, then there's no reason why you should kiss me as if I'm your sister. I won't faint or have the vapors, I assure you. Only kiss me as you would the woman you love."
His expression became shuttered, but his pale eyes glittered in a way she didn't quite like. "The woman I love?" he asked coolly.
"Yes," she said simply, though her eyes challenged him. "It can not be so very hard. Only close your eyes and kiss me as the woman you love."
He didn't mean to take her at her word. He meant to teach her a lesson for prying into a part of him he had no intention of sharing. But what began in anger became something altogether different. Her words, try though he would to banish them from his mind, conjured Danielle. She became Dan
ielle in his mind's eyes. He didn't surrender to that illusion helplessly so much as with a burst of long suppressed longing.
It was some slight sound she made, some slight 'something' that brought reason back in a rush. He broke away from her abruptly, staring down at her in baffled anger, trying to control his erratic breathing.
It took Sophia a moment to collect her wits. She admitted, ruefully, to being just a little weak kneed. "You were thinking of Danielle then, were you not?" she asked with a touch of triumph.
He stared at her furiously for a moment before he thrust her away and strode across the room, staring out the library window in rigid silence for several moments. "Damn you!" he finally said, quietly, with vehemence.
Sophia stared at him with a touch of alarm, feeling the anger, the passion, he held barely in check. She'd known that, despite his apparent coolness, despite his reserve, he was a man of deep, dangerous passions. She'd seen it that night when she'd first come to realize how he felt about Danielle. She was a little frightened, however, at the strong emotions she seemed to have released from Pandora's box. It wasn't that she hadn't meant to do it. She simply hadn't expected so unnerving a result.
Before she could compose her chaotic thoughts, gather her courage to proceed as she'd begun, there came a tap on the library door. She turned at the sound with a strong sense of relief, though she'd begun to have doubts about the plan she'd formulated. It might've been best if she hadn't arranged to have Danielle brought in just now, might be best if she suggested Danielle wait a bit. She went to the door and opened it to peer out and was surprised to see only her maid, Junta. "Where is Miss Danielle?" she whispered in surprise.
Junta's face was expressionless. "She gone, Miss Sophie."
"Gone!" Sophie repeated, forgetting to whisper, for there was something about Junta's demeanor, despite her shuttered expression, that set off warning bells. "What do you mean, she's gone? Gone where? Isn't she in her room?"
Junta shook her head. "She gone frum dis place."
Sophia only stared at her blankly, unable to accept what Junta was suggesting. She wasn't even aware Adrian had crossed the room to stand beside her until he spoke. "Who's gone?"
Sophia turned to look at him. "Junta says Danny's gone."
Adrian's black brows snapped together, but she saw the instant her fears became his own. Without a word, he pushed past her and strode down the hall, taking the stairs two at a time.
Sophia, after a moment's shocked hesitation, lifted her skirts and hurried after him. She arrived at Danielle's room to find Adrian standing before the wardrobe, staring blankly at the array of gowns that still fluttered from the breeze created from snatching the doors open. He turned as she came into the room, his face ashen. "See if anything's missing," he ground out.
Sophia moved quickly to do his bidding to the best of her ability, searching the wardrobe thoroughly before she moved about the room, checking Danielle's other belongings. Agitated as she was, it was hard to be certain, but she could think of nothing that was missing except the locket she'd given Danielle, not surprising since Danielle hadn't taken it off since, but somehow foreboding nonetheless. Still, she didn't quite like to present Adrian with feminine intuition at such a time, and it seemed foolish to mention the locket when Danielle would doubtless have been wearing it in any case. "Nothing, I can't see that anything's missing. Junta must be mistaken, or perhaps she did go with Mama after all."
Adrian, she saw as she turned, was standing in the middle of the room, raking it carefully with his eyes. In a moment, he strode forward, knelt beside a small table in the corner and reached under it. When he rose he unfolded the sheet of stationery he'd extracted from the place where it had fallen and stared down at it frowningly. Sophia studied his face anxiously while he read it, feeling her foreboding mount at the expressions that flickered in his eyes. He said nothing when he'd finished, however, but sat in the chair next to the table abruptly, or rather collapsed. He looked so ill Sophia felt a surge of fear. "What? What does she say? It is a note from her, is it not?"
He looked at her, but she knew he didn't see her, wasn't listening to her. He stared right through her. She knelt beside his chair. "May I read the letter, Adrian?"
He blinked then, as if coming out of a daze, though he still looked far from well as he thrust the letter at her almost violently. "Why not?" he asked and laughed harshly. "There's nothing in it that could not be read by anyone, anyone at all. It might have been written by one stranger to another."
Sophia squeezed his hand consolingly as she took the letter, but she was far too worried about Danielle at the moment to exert herself to console him in any other way. Let alone, she couldn't think what words might give comfort when she had no idea what was going on. Rising, she moved to the window, angling the letter for better light and read:
Dear Sir,
I guess you'll think it awful rude to leave like this, but I thought it best. It will probably be easiest just to tell everyone that I got homesick and you sent me back to England, but you must explain it, of course, however you think will be best.
I think you might be angry with me. If you are, I'm sorry for it. If my going causes trouble, I'm sorry for that, too. But, you know I only promised to stay as long as you wanted me, and I out stayed that long since. I should have gone from Frederica Town. But I wasn't ready then.
If you are worried that I mightn't be all right, then don't. You will not have forgotten I've taken care of myself for years now and not done too badly. Besides, I go with our mutual friend, who we met along the banks of the St. Marys, so you know he will take care of me when I need help. I rather fancy living among 'the people'. You know I have much interest in their ways. Our friend offered to take me there when we were in Frederica Town, but I was not ready to go then. He said he would come for me here, and I said yes, that would be all right because I knew that would probably be long enough and you would be wishing yourself free from this burden by then. I thought for a while that he would break his word to me, but as you see, he didn't. So you may see in that that you've no need to worry for me.
I know you meant to do what was best for me and think I don't appreciate your efforts. But you are wrong. I do appreciate what you were trying to do. It's just that it would not have been right. I surely would have embarrassed you if I stayed longer. Sooner or later my charade would have been discovered.
Give Sophie, all the Kents, my love for me and tell them how very much I appreciate their many kindnesses to me. I can not say how very much I appreciate your kindness to me, but I will hope you know it. Thank you for all that you did for me.
Danny
P.S. I hope Sophia won't mind that I took the locket she gave me, but it is the only 'birthday' present I ever got, and I couldn't bring myself to leave it even though I knew I should. For the rest, I only took the gown you bought me at Frederica Town. I hope you don't mind. If I can ever get the money, you may be sure I will repay you for that other 'debt' I owe you. For although you were kind enough to forgive it, I will certainly not forget it.
Sophia looked up at Adrian curiously. "I don't understand."
Adrian had regained his aplomb somewhat. His brows rose at that, his expression coolly questioning. "What part didn't you understand? I thought it was rather succinctly put. She wanted to go so she left."
"What did she mean about you not wanting her anymore? What did she mean about being an embarrassment to you? And the charade thing? What debt? And who is this mutual friend she mentions?" she asked tightly, feeling the beginnings of baffled anger, knowing that it was Adrian's fault, somehow, that Danielle had decided to go, though she couldn't think how that could be so.
Adrian studied her a long moment and finally shrugged indifferently. "You're certainly entitled to an explanation. You may tell your parents or not, as you please. I frankly don't give a damn one way or the other. I bought a stowaway aboard the Lady Dorinda, a young boy named Danny. Call it a whim, but I thought he
might amuse me, particularly since I knew he was, in fact, a she. My original intention was to sell her upon my arrival. But I thought it might be amusing to try to pass her off as a lady. She was very good at imitating others, you see, being a wellborn bastard. You did notice the evidence of her lines?"
Sophia only gaped at him in consternation. "Danny?"
He nodded. "Remarkable, is it not?"
Sophia stared at him in tight-lipped silence for several moments. "You did this for amusement?" she said with barely concealed loathing.
Adrian's eyes glittered like shards of ice. "Remiss of me, I know," he replied coolly, "but one does what one must to fight boredom."
Sophia turned away from him and moved to the window. "So, once you tired of her--you did make use of her?" She threw Adrian an assessing look over her shoulder, could read nothing in his expression, and returned her attention to the view beyond the window. "Of course you did. That's what she meant by you tiring of her. So you meant to pass her on to another. Tell me, did you mean to persist in this 'ward' thing and see her married off? Or were you only amusing yourself for a time before you handed her over to someone as their mistress?"
Adrian was silent for so long that she turned to look at him again. His smile was unpleasant. "Oh, I meant to carry the charade to the limits. It would've been diverting, don't you think, to see her wed to the scion of some noble house, to know I had duped the poor fool with counterfeit goods."
"To cuckold him before the fact?" Sophia asked neutrally.
"As you say, but of course the cream of the jest was in passing a guttersnipe off as a lady."
Sophia turned to look at him. "And when she whelped your bastard come spring? Would that have amused you as well? Would you have felt disappointment when her loving, duped, sap of a husband beat her to death for her faithlessness?" She watched without any real surprise as the color drained from his face in a rush, watched as his expression changed from disbelief to pain and belief, to rage.
"You mistake," he ground out, a muscle clenching and unclenching in his jaw.