“I had to grow up, think about the future. I couldn’t party my days away the second half of my teens and first half of my twenties like some people I know. My family couldn’t afford for me to do that.”
“I’m not talking about being responsible, Jade. I’m talking about following your passion.” He bit out the words. “You’re not happy. Anyone with half a brain can see that.” He ran both hands through his hair. “What are you searching for?”
Her jaw dropped open. If she had the answer to that question, she’d be sleeping at night. She wouldn’t be hesitating about which grad school program to choose, and she certainly wouldn’t be standing here wanting him to kiss her but sending him away because her mother didn’t trust him and she didn’t understand or trust herself.
“Think about it,” he said quietly. Sadie joined him and he bent to reattach her leash. “I miss the girl I used to know, the one who followed the beat of her own drum, without a care for what everyone else expected of her.” He frowned. “I wonder if I’ll ever see her again.” With that, he turned and left.
Chapter Six
Jade entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her, a mixed bag of emotions after one day in Starling. She sank onto her bed as her cell phone chimed.
Bree had texted. Have you told your parents? She texted back. They took the news well, aside from Mom’s concern about my choosing a profession that pays poorly and is thankless. Her phone chimed again. Sounds like Aunt Gigi. You okay? I’m concerned about you. How’s your grandma? She swore Bree had a sixth sense when it came to reading people. It was utterly useless keeping secrets from her. She typed: Remember Benji, my next door neighbor? Well, he’s all grown up. Took me awhile to recognize him. Oh my. But he’s a real PITA. Bree shot back. Panty dropper potential? Jade snorted before typing one last message. Not going there. Not worth it. See “pain in the butt” reference above. Bree typed back. Why not? Maybe he’s your Christmas gift.
Jade sighed and set her phone on the nightstand so she could begin her nighttime routine. Bree suggested hooking up as if she did it herself, but Jade knew better. In fact, her friend was the most conservative of the five girls, in spite of her status as a single mother.
Jade moved to her bathroom to wash her face. Bree would have been an incredible physician if she hadn’t gotten pregnant at nineteen and needed to turn all her efforts into raising a child. Everyone loved Charlie, the girl was a blessing in their lives, but Bree’s life had been forever changed because she’d lost her head over a guy. So had Cass’s and Kara’s, for that matter.
Her face clean, Jade threw on a tee and yoga pants. She tiptoed downstairs past Grandma Bertie dozing in her favorite chair in the living room, and turned on the kitchen light before opening the fridge for some milk.
Her father appeared in the doorway. “Any trouble on the roads with that dusting of snow?”
She shook her head and poured two glasses of milk. Her father liked to eat as much as her. “How was work?” She set their drinks on the kitchen table.
“Good.” He sank onto a chair and folded his beefy hands under his sizeable chin. “Speaking of work, are you sure about this change you’ve made?”
She picked up the platter of peanut brittle and set it on the table between them as she sat beside him. “I’m sure about leaving marketing.”
His voice echoed in the quiet kitchen. “Your mother was pretty upset yesterday. We worry you’re making a big mistake.” He leaned forward. “But it’s not too late to fix it. You could call your old boss, apologize, and ask for your job back. No shame in that.”
She pasted on a smile. “Thanks, Dad.” She handed him a chunk of peanut brittle. “I’ll take that into consideration.”
He took a bite. “Your mother also thinks there may be something going on in, ah, your personal life.”
Ah, so her mother was behind this late night chat. Her back went rigid. “I’ll be fine, Daddy. Things are different than when you were my age. Lots of twenty-nine-year-olds are still single.” Like all her best friends. Their lives were cautionary tales about why a woman needed to take her time when choosing her soul mate. She washed the candy down with a swig of cold milk.
All four of her friends were intelligent and beautiful and sophisticated. Three were unlucky when it came to love. Cass was successful, but loneliness oozed out of her pores, and all because of that wandering Irish musician she’d fallen for years ago. The girl had even gotten a tat, for God’s sake. That was serious stuff. Kara’s boyfriend had seemed like he was in the relationship for the long haul. Jade had become hopeful there may be good guys in her generation, but as soon as he learned he was to about to become a father, the jerk had split, leaving the girls to pick up the pieces of their friend’s heart. So what if he sent child support payments like clockwork? He wasn’t there for Kara like he should be. What was he going to do, show up in a decade and throw her into a tailspin like what was happening now with Bree and Jake? No, thank you.
Loving and losing was too much to bear.
Besides, look what had happened when she’d let down her guard and fallen for Alex. Finished with her brittle, she stood and kissed the top of her father’s bald head. He was better off not knowing the sordid details. “Love you.”
“Love you, too. Sleep well.” Her father patted her shoulder.
Sleep well? Yeah, that had been working so well for her lately.
The following morning, Jade arrived at the first home on her list for the Starling Lights Project. A green SUV was parked in the driveway. “What the—” She double-checked the list of addresses Alice had given her with the boxes of supplies. Yup. She had the correct address. She exited the car and began the short walk up the dirt driveway, frowning at the man on the ladder partly responsible for her enduring yet another poor night of sleep.
“Morning.” Ben’s deep, cheery voice floated down to her. He stopped stapling a string of Christmas lights along the front roof line to glance down at her. “What’s doing?”
She shaded her eyes with a hand and peered up at him, his broad shoulders flanked by brilliant morning sun. “That’s what I was going to ask.”
“I told you to stop following me around.” He smiled.
“I’m serious.” Her neck was starting to hurt from staring up at him. “This is my job. Alice assigned me as lead volunteer for the Starling Lights Project. You’re not supposed to be here.”
“Actually, I am. Alice stopped me in town last evening and begged me to train the new lead volunteer with the work. She didn’t give me the details, but that gleam in her eyes makes perfect sense now.” He laughed and returned to his task, as if small town match-making rolled off him like water from a duck’s back.
She fumed. “That was nice of her but I’m quite capable of hanging decorations and connecting strings of lights without instruction.”
He descended a few rungs. “Can you give me a hand?” He pointed to the package of staples on the driveway next to the ladder.
She stepped between two snow-covered bushes and handed him a strip of staples. “I was tricked.”
“Appears we both were.”
“You don’t seem too bothered about it,” she observed.
He shrugged. “Why should I? It’s a beautiful day. Have you been away so long you forgot how everyone in Starling is in cahoots with everyone else’s business?”
His words from their last conversation popped into her head. “I thought you don’t worry about what people think.” She was being bratty but she couldn’t help it. Her mother would be worried about her working with Ben and the rest of the town would speculate about their relationship. And she’d already heard the rumors about his ex.
He finished attaching the last of the lights to the house and inserted the prongs to the other set’s plug around the corner before stepping down. “Look, you can stand there, go home, or stay and work. I don’t care which you choose. I can handle this myself.”
She dug in her heels. “I was really excited and I
wanted to do this.” She stuffed her fingers back into her gloves.
“Then stay. It’s completely up to you. This will be my only full day, anyway. I have business the rest of the week.” He walked ahead of her to the house’s front door.
Inside the cozy home that smelled faintly of mint and cinnamon, an elderly woman sat in a wingback chair next to a china cabinet filled with beautiful collectible teacup and saucer sets. “You all done?” The elderly woman leaned forward to pet Sadie.
Ben spoke a few decibels louder than normal. “Outside’s finished, Mrs. Reichert. “Remember Jade Engel?”
The old woman joked, “I’m lucky to remember my own name.” She pointed to the seven-foot silver tree in the corner of the room. “You young ones going to help me decorate too? Always was my husband’s favorite part of the holiday.” Her voice caught.
The woman’s words tugged at Jade’s heart. So what if a nosy body in Starling was trying to push her and Ben together. She sat on a chair next to the lady. “I’d love to.”
She opened boxes of ornaments and listened to Mrs. Reichert’s stories about each one as Ben wound the lights around the artificial tree. Once the lights were set, the two of them arranged the ornaments onto the tree under the older woman’s direction.
“All we need is the angel,” Jade said. She looked around at the array of empty boxes. “It’s got to be here somewhere.”
Mrs. Reichert sighed. “Oh dear, it must be in the attic.”
“I’ll get it. Be right back.” Ben zipped up the stairs.
Mrs. Reichert patted Jade’s shoulder. “I like your young man. So respectful.”
“We’re not a couple.” No matter how much my girly parts tingle when he’s around.
“Oh, beg your pardon. My mistake.”
Jade turned to stack the empty boxes for their return to the attic. “Would you like me to make you something to eat before we finish up here?”
“A cup of tea would be nice. The homecare lady will come by later to fix me lunch.”
Jade nodded and scurried into the woman’s functional galley kitchen, putting a kettle on to boil and locating three mugs and the teabags before she returned to the living room to find Ben teetering on the stepstool, positioning the angel just right.
“There.” He stepped down and grinned at Mrs. Reichert.
The old woman clapped her hands in delight. “Beautiful.” She wiped at the corner of an eye with an embroidered handkerchief.
He sat on a chair facing the lady. “All the lights, indoors and out, are on a timer so you don’t have to worry about that, and remember, SLP will reimburse a portion of your electric bill for the month.” He handed her a sheet of paper. “This is the number to call if you have any questions or need anything. Okay?”
The woman smiled up at him. “Stay for tea?”
He caught Jade’s eyes and held her gaze. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
The kettle whistled and Jade jumped. She sped back into the kitchen, poured their tea, and carried the tray with the three mugs to the living room, reciting her mantra about figuring out what she truly wanted before she dove into another relationship.
Thirty minutes later, they said their goodbyes to the sweet lady at 24 Graham Street and headed out the door.
Ben turned to her. “Want to share a ride? Saves gas.”
“I can’t leave the car here.”
He glanced at the sheet. “There are only three more jobs on the list today. I’ll have you back before dark.”
“Okay.” She risked a smile. “But only for the gas.” She waited for Sadie to jump into the SUV between them before she perched on her corner of the passenger seat.
“Going green is good,” Ben said lightly.
Chapter Seven
They made quick work at the next two houses, placing lights in the windows on the one-story homes and attaching an Adirondack pine bough wreath to each of their front doors. By the time they arrived at the final house of the day, Jade was famished. She had drunk tea at Mrs. Reichert’s, eaten a slice of pie at the second house and chocolate fudge at the last, but she craved protein and veggies. Tomorrow she’d pack a lunch.
They pulled up next to an ornate wrought iron fence surrounding a distinguished cream, purple, and gray Victorian house set in the center of a huge corner lot at the intersection of Kirk Street and Dunn Avenue, two of Starling’s most exclusive streets.
Jade counted three windows on two of the third-floor turret room’s four sides. “Wow.”
“It’s the oldest house in Starling and dates back to 1840.” Ben turned off the ignition and exited the car.
“Pre-Civil War Era.” She accepted the box Ben handed her. “I’ve always admired this house but never been inside. Other kids told me the owner was a mean hermit.”
“Mr. V is okay.” Ben opened the gate to one of three cleared cement walks that led to the impeccable home. “Wait until you see the inside.” He whistled to Sadie, who romped ahead of them, tail wagging, snuffling the snow.
Jade stepped onto the expansive covered porch and lifted the brass knocker on the purple door. After several knocks, a man standing behind a walker opened the door with a grunt.
She and Ben introduced themselves while Sadie licked the man’s fingers.
Mr. Van Salzberg waved them in with one hand. “They called to tell me you were on your way.” He shuffled back to a lounger in front of a TV and eased into a sitting position with a sigh.
Jade wanted to sit and chat with the man but their errand came first. Sadie loped over to the man and rested her head on the arm of the lounger, gazing at him with adoring eyes, but Mr. V acted like he didn’t notice her. Did he live here all alone in this huge house? No family or friends? She glanced at the TV tray in front of his recliner. Did he always eat alone, with only the TV for company?
“Let’s start at the top floor.” Ben’s gruff voice pulled her out of her thoughts.
They arrived at their destination and Jade peered inside the box she carried. “Do we have enough for all these windows?”
He peered into his box too. “If not, I have more in the back of my truck.”
She set the box next to his and pulled out the first electric candle to hand over to Ben. She had managed to avoid contact with him all day, but her luck ended at that moment. The candle hit the hardwood floor with a smash and a curse split the air. “Sorry.”
“I’ve got it,” Ben said.
They crouched simultaneously to retrieve the dropped item and brushed knees. Jade fell back hard onto the glossy wood floor. “Ouch.”
Ben held out his hand. “You okay?”
She rubbed her bottom and scrambled to her feet by herself. “I’m fine.”
He reached into the box for a new candle then stopped. “Remember that time we were climbing that big old willow tree at the edge of Robinson’s property and that branch broke?”
“I still have a scar between my ribs from where I landed on that sharp rock.” She shuddered. “I couldn’t breathe, and...you half-carried, half-dragged me to their house to get help.”
“You were turning blue.”
“All I remember was thinking I couldn’t take a breath. Next thing I knew I was lying on a blue velvet couch and I thought I’d died. But then I saw you sitting across from me, those big green eyes staring at me. You looked so scared.” She picked up the remnants of the broken candle and placed it in the tote bag slung over her shoulder. “I was lucky.”
“Yeah, kids do dangerous things.” He chuckled. “We kept our guardian angels plenty busy.”
She laughed. “Still, we had some great adventures.” Her voice trailed off. Why had she thrown away their friendship? They had been inseparable. He had been the one person who accepted her as she was and encouraged her to follow her dreams. He didn’t care that she hated the color pink, and loved to climb trees and play in the dirt—unlike most girls in Starling. Her throat tightened and she searched his face for a hint of her former best friend, unspoken yearnings grow
ing inside her.
He cursed and pulled her close, wrapping his strong arms around her.
“Ben?” Her protest sounded more like a plea, everything else slipping away but the desire to be close to him. She reached up and pulled his head toward hers.
She wanted him. He wanted her.
And they both knew it.
His lips were hot and wet on hers, seeking she-didn’t-know-what and bringing her along for the mysterious ride. It was too overwhelming, too confusing, too risky.
I have to stop...
“No.” She unthreaded her fingers from his thick hair and pushed against his shoulders.
He lifted his mouth from hers, a question in his eyes.
She dropped her head against his chest and listened to his racing heartbeat. It matched hers. We can’t do this. Her mother had warned her away for a reason. He wasn’t married like Alex, but he surely had secrets that could destroy her just as easily. She looked up. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded, wiping his mouth with the back of one hand before reaching out and tipping up her chin so he could look in her eyes. His words were soft but filled with intent. “I want you. That’s not going to change. Let me know when you’ve figured things out.”
She leaned back against the turret room’s floral wallpaper, slid down wall to sit on the gleaming wood floor, a boneless, miserable pile. She rested her head in her hands, her legs splayed in front of her. “I’m too tired to think.”
He crouched next to her and placed a hand on her knee.
The heat from his palm seared her, spreading warmth from her knee to her inner thighs and beyond. Part of her didn’t want the delicious sensations to end, but logic warned that giving into this could only cause them hurt—and they had both hurt enough.
“What’s going on, Jade?” he said softly.
She dropped her hands. “I knew coming home would cause memories to resurface. I guess I just underestimated how many. I’d hoped it would bring my life clarity, but—” she twisted her hands in her lap, “I’m more confused and conflicted than when I arrived.”
A Light in the Window Page 5