by Jc Emery
I’ve been hearing it for months. After New York. I can feel it coming— the trip back East. The tension in the air is palatable. Wyatt told me the boys agreed to letting me, Ruby, Alex, and Mindy go with them. Elle is going to remain in town and oversee our intel on our way out there. With Holly pregnant and Nic with a new baby, neither one is interested in arguing about staying behind. Chey didn’t even ask if she could go, and that’s a damn good thing. The girl is barely legal. Jeremy asked the club to vote her in the day he was patched— a move reminiscent of my old man— but she’s still Fort Bragg’s VP’s daughter first and foremost. Hell, even I would have lost my shit over letting her go.
We’ve been making all these plans, prepping for the trip, but something feels off. In my gut, I know the guys don’t plan on bringing us. It’s going to get ugly, but Ruby and I talked about it. We’re going. Come Hell or high water, we’re not letting our men ride into battle without us.
“I’m wiped,” I tell Alex truthfully. She stops bobbing around me and wonders off. She finds Ryan perched on a bar stool and climbs onto his lap. He holds her with a gentleness that I don’t think anybody would have ever expected from him. Christ, even when he was a kid I wanted to drown his ass in a shallow pool. She’s only there for a minute before Duke gives Ryan a hand wave. I focus my attention on the men in the room as they quietly head down the hall toward the chapel.
From behind the bar, Mishy stares at me wide-eyed. She nods her head to signal me over. I follow her lead to the side room with the pool table in it. She leans against the table, eyes the room, and then levels her gaze on me.
“Boys got a call,” she says quietly, so casual that it’s like we’re talking about taking the kids to the park or some shit. It’s not casual though. As far as I know, my sister’s made it a point to keep her nose out of club business. It just never ends well. Just one more thing we don’t see eye to eye on. “Mancuso’s being released within the next week. His lawyer says he should have been out by now, but paperwork keeps getting lost. They think it’s the feds fucking things up on purpose.”
“Wouldn’t doubt it.” I try to keep my voice low, but it’s hard. With the boys out of the room, it’s so quiet in here. The kids are all having a play date with Wyatt and Grady’s moms. It’s weird being so kid-free, even if it is just for an afternoon.
“Another thing. They’re not bringing you with them. I was cleaning out behind the bar and overheard Ryan and Ian arguing about it.” My hackles rise at her words. I fucking hate having it confirmed. They never planned on bringing us along. Not even for a moment. “Ryan said Alex has this plan to offer herself up to her dad, but he won’t let her do it. Ian thinks it’s a good plan. He wants you all with them, but he was out-voted.”
“Goddamn it. I knew they’d try and pull this shit.” My words are a shout and they draw attention. Ruby heads over, followed by Mindy, Holly, and Alex who trail behind. Nic stays at the bar, perched on a bar stool. For the first time in months, she doesn’t have her daughter attached to her hip. Elle, who was at one of the tables in the main room, abandons the laptop she’s been working on and joins the crowd, albeit at a distance.
“There’s more,” Mishy whispers. She leans in and sighs, nervously eyeing our audience. I give Ruby a nod to which she gets the other women to take a few steps back. They all stand around awkwardly, giving us our space but not really retreating.
“Tell me,” I say, encouragingly. She sighs and takes several shaky breaths. Whatever she has to say can’t be good. My own sister won’t meet my eyes.
“They reached out to Detroit for back-up, just like they did when they went and got Alex. The club put Davey in charge. He’s bad news and after all the shit with Rig— they just can’t trust Detroit, okay?”
Not much rattles Michele Wallace, so when she’s freaking out, it automatically freaks me out too. The past few months have been good for us, helped us to establish that sisterly bond that’s been missing for years. I finally got to meet my nephew, who is cool as hell. And she’s gotten to know my kids, too. Zander figured out pretty quickly that Mishy’s a lost girl, and that wasn’t a fun conversation, but they’ve gotten to know each other well enough that I don’t think it matters to him anymore.
“Davey’s shady, but Rig’s gone. I made sure of that.”
“I don’t want to get into it,” she says. “Not here. Just, please. Tell the boys they can’t trust Davey.”
“Sis, that’s not gonna fly. I can’t run my man’s shit like that without telling him why.”
Mishy leans in closer, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.
“I know what Rig did to you. He did the same thing to me and when he was done, he passed me off to Davey. Rig was a cakewalk by comparison. There’s worse shit they’ve done. I can’t prove any of it and all it’d do is open old wounds. What I’ve already said is enough. Don’t let our guys trust Detroit.”
“How did you know?” I’ve never talked to anyone about that. Not really anyway. The only person who could have any idea is Torque. My eyes fall closed as I try to regulate my breathing long enough to compose myself. Torque, Mishy, and I all grew up together. His dad was a brother in Detroit. Torque was patched in there and only transferred after some shit went down between he and Rig a few years ago. As he was leaving he was really insistent to make sure I was okay. He kept asking if I was scared or if anything was bothering me. No matter how many times I told him I was fine, he didn’t believe me.
“Doesn’t matter,” she says. People give her crap for what she does, but my sister is loyal. I want to tell her I’m sorry and that this is one thing I never wanted to share. I want to ask her about the secrets she can’t prove and everything else, but we have an audience close by and we weren’t raised to apologize for shit we didn’t do. I have a role here and it’s not to wipe her tears. She came to me for help, not comfort. Instead of throwing my arms around my sister and selfishly crying about our damage, I turn to the women, idly waiting for us to do something.
“What’s going on?” Ruby asks.
“The guys are going rogue. They don’t plan on bringing us with them. They want to enlist Detroit’s help, but we have it on good authority that’s a bad idea,” I say, just loud enough for them all to hear me. In the back, Elle shakes her head and weaves her way to the front.
“And we’re making this decision based on what intel?” Of course Elle takes issue with this. Her entire role here is intel and keeping the authorities as far away from the club as possible while this plays out.
Now’s not the time for my sister and best friend to sort out their issues. They share a man, even if Elle won’t acknowledge it. Diesel may be Elle’s old man, but he’s my nephew’s uncle. Neither Diesel nor Mishy talk about Xavier’s father. They don’t need to. After the way that piece of shit treated my sister, I know damn well he’s no longer breathing. If I had known the way it really was for her back then, I’d have been a better sister. I wouldn’t have abandoned her the way I did. I could have stuck by her side and pulled her out of that hell myself. At the end of the day, I’m just grateful that she had somebody. Now, my only hope with that situation is that Elle can come to terms with the fact that Mishy isn’t going anywhere.
“It’s solid intel,” Mishy says, her eyes free of judgment as she stares at Elle. I don’t blame Elle for taking issue with her late father’s affair with my sister, but damn if the woman can’t hold a grudge.
“I didn’t ask for you opinion, bitch.”
“And I didn’t ask for yours,” Mishy retorts.
“Well, nobody asked for yours either.” Now it’s Holly butting in, her eyes narrowed on Elle. I can barely make sense of what the actual hell is happening right now.
“Do we have a problem?”
“We’re about to,” Mindy says in a deadly cool manner. Ian’s wife is gorgeous. Beautiful blonde hair, bright, glowing eyes. She’s got a great figure and she’s kind as hell— when she wants to be— but the woman is as twisted as her husband. She
slides up to Holly, standing protectively over her cousin.
“I can defend myself,” Holly gripes to Mindy.
“What is your problem lately?” Nic shouts at Holly from the bar stool she refuses to abandon.
“Okay, enough!” Ruby shouts. I probably should have shut it down sooner, but truth be told, I was kind of enjoying myself. There’s too much history and trauma here for these bitches to keep playing nice when just below the surface, we’re all about to fall apart. “You’re grown ass women, not little fucking girls, so start acting like it. You can pull each other’s hair out later. Right now, we have shit to take care of.”
“We’ve talked about this. They’re going to get themselves killed if they go alone,” Mindy says, staring at her mother-in-law with sorrow filling her eyes. “They need the numbers we can provide. They need to rest easy knowing people they can trust have their backs. Even if those people have pussies.”
“I know, baby,” Ruby says softly.
“What the hell are we going to do?” I say with wide eyes, staring at Ruby.
I almost miss Alex backing up, her sweaty, exhausted body lumbering toward the hall. She throws her arms up in the air and shouts, “Don’t give them a choice.”
And with that, she turns around and hauls ass down the hall toward the chapel. All I can think is “oh shit” as I chase after her. Ruby and Mindy are on my heels, the three of us fighting to get to Alex first, but it’s too late. By the time we round the corner to the hallway, she’s already kicking at the solid wood French doors to the chapel.
CHAPTER 22
I’m not thinking clearly. Okay, I’m not thinking at all. I just react, and once my feet are in motion, I can’t seem to stop myself. This club, this family—they’ve turned me into someone the old me wouldn’t recognize.
And I love her.
The old Alexandra Mancuso would never dream of barging in on a meeting among men. She was too timid, too scared. But that was before a group of unruly bikers showed up and whisked me away to a life I never dreamed possible. That was before she had to find a way to forgive her brother for the unforgivable. That was before men died and women were hurt in a war that began all because of a promise a man made to a woman years ago. And my big mouth is what lit the match.
The new Alexandra Mancuso isn’t afraid to be rude when she needs to. No, she does what she has to in order to protect her family.
All of her family, and that includes the thick-headed idiots who think they can take on the Italian mafia without backup they can trust. It means being the bad guy when the rest of the club’s women are trying to manipulate their way into getting what they want. It means loving a family enough to refuse to let them get themselves hurt.
The double wooden doors fly open before I can kick through them. I jump back at what meets me on the other side. Grady, Ryan, Ian, Duke, and Diesel all stand in front of Wyatt, the club’s new president, with their guns trained on me. Even Michael and Leo are in the background, behind the rest of the club, with their gold Desert Eagles in hand. Only Torque is missing.
The men are not supposed to take their pieces into Church, but this isn’t Church. If it were, they wouldn’t have two Mafiosos in there with them. They weren’t talking business. They were sitting in there figuring out how to slip past their women without us noticing. So I don’t cower. Two years ago I would’ve flipped out and needed a week to recover. But not now. Ryan taught me that. Don’t cower. Men smell weakness and they prey upon it. I just hope he knows what he’s done.
“What the fuck, babe?” Ryan shouts at me, his expression livid. I ignore the rest of their fuming faces and focus on my man. Slowly, they all lower their guns and start shouting at once. Less than a minute passes before I’m joined by the rest of the women. They chased me down the hall, likely trying to stop what I just did. They were fast, but I’ve spent my entire life running from things I fear, so I’m faster.
“Shut up!” Amber screams from my right. She’s only a few inches taller than me, but her presence is mighty. Amber Wallace was born a princess in this world, much like I was in my old world, but nobody ever tried to extinguish her blaze. They nurtured it, gave her a voice, showed her how to be strong, and they demanded she be fierce in everything. That’s what Forsaken women are—they’re fierce.
No, we’re fierce.
They don’t have to vote me in and give me a tattoo for me to be one of them. I’d like to see them get rid of me now.
Wyatt points his finger at Amber and warns her that she’s going to pay for this show of insolence later, to which she smirks and blows him a kiss, telling him she can’t wait. Duke’s the first to break. He shakes his head, turns on his heel, screams, “Fuck,” and stomps back into the room. Slowly, the rest of the men follow.
“We have something to say.” I do my best to keep my voice steady, but it breaks at the end when Ryan moves toward me. Hurt fills his eyes, both for what I’m doing and what he’s doing to me, no doubt. I put my hand up to stop him and shake my head. I won’t lean on him for this. I made the choice to interrupt the boys on my own, and I’ll answer for that choice on my own.
“No shit?” Grady says. A tone of snide disapproval evident in his tone. Holly moves through the room and moves to stand beside him. In a move that looks loving and supportive, she laces her fingers in his. Only, I don’t miss the way her nails dig into his skin. I’ve come to love Holly for her quiet but firm strength. Not even Grady, the new VP, calls attention to it. His jaw ticks as he stares me down.
“You don’t have to like me or trust me to listen to me,” I say, my eyes still affixed to Grady’s. He’s been the most difficult to win over. Even Ian, my own brother, was less challenging to get to know, and that man is like Fort Knox with his heart, but I’m sneaky. I’ve wormed my way in. He just won’t admit it yet.
“This isn’t about liking the choices we have to make. This is about doing the things we must in order to protect our family.”
“You’re not going,” Ryan says tersely.
“And how are you going to stop me?” I ask with ice in my voice.
“I’ll tie you to a chair if I have to,” he says.
Feeling brave, I flit my eyes to my twin brother and smile. Michael and I barely look alike now, thanks to puberty. Ian watches us, his half siblings, with deft interest.
“You wanna tell him how well that’s going to work, or shall I?”
Ryan’s eyes slide to Michael, dislike still as evident as ever. I don’t realize what I’ve said until it’s out there. Michael, in a fit of rage, tied me to a chair and beat me in an attempt to save my life. It was wrong, and after nearly two years of healing, I’ve forgiven him. Ryan hasn’t, and I’m not sure if I were in his shoes I’d forgive him either. He doesn’t know Michael the way I do. He doesn’t know how we were raised, the way our father sees women, or the way he thinks they ought to be punished for stepping out of line. They really need to get over this shit at some point, though. I might hit menopause before my man lets go of the grudge at this rate.
My mom, Ruby, was Queen Bee around here for over fifteen years when my stepdad, Jim, gave up his presidency. It’s only been a few months, but they’re happier this way. The transition has been pretty smooth, all things considered. The biggest obstacle has been Ryan holding an officer position as sergeant-at-arms while Jim no longer has a rank. His choice, though. Wyatt tried to at least make him his VP, but Jim’s maintained that he wants easy from now on. Jim wanting easy explains why he stands in the corner, silent and not meeting anyone’s eyes. I notice that Mom is watching him closely.
“Enough,” she says loudly. Even Ryan simmers down a little at her voice. It’s still weird, thinking about the fact that, for all intents and purposes, she’s his mom, too. I share her blood, but she raised him. Neither of us is any less her child, but it sure makes thinking about the whole situation strange.
“In the last two years I’ve seen this club run itself into the ground because we’re making decisions with
our hearts and not our heads. Part of that is on me. I’ll never be able to repay you all for what you’ve done to save my daughter,” she pauses and looks at Michael. “And now my son, too.”
I don’t cry much anymore, but if ever there was something that could make it happen . . .
“I know why you want to protect us, but you need to look around.” Her voice is softer now. She’s pleading. Mom and I have talked about this a lot on our own, a little with Mindy, and even some with Jim. Jim’s old school through and through, and even though he gave up his spot as president because he was going soft, he’s still rougher around the edges than the rest of them. As long as it’s not his call, he’s good with letting us come. It’s a weird paradox he’s got going on in his head, and I don’t pretend to understand it. I wouldn’t want to have to make the calls he’s had to.
“Every single one of your women has blood on her hands on behalf of this club.”
“Not putting you in danger, Ma,” Ian says, finally breaking the quiet.
“You’re my child, baby. You don’t get to put me in a position outlive you. I won’t do it.”
“You’re walking a thin line, woman,” Wyatt says with his eyes boring holes into Amber’s head.
“Lied to me,” she says. “Seems you’re walking that same line yourself.”
There’s a venom in his voice that makes me grateful it’s not directed at me when he asks who’s going to watch their kids. The ice in his voice chips away at my tough exterior. I’ve badassed enough for the day. I’m basically done now.