by Sharon Swan
She took his weight without complaint and just held on with all her might. Their bodies were fused together in the aftermath of spent passion, but their joining went beyond that, she sensed. As strange as it seemed, it was almost as though he were a part of her, and she a part of him.
Yes, this time had been different, she thought. She still didn’t know why. She only knew it was.
LITTLE BY LITTLE, Dev returned to the present. With his eyes still closed, he rolled over with a secure grip on Amanda until she again rested on top of him.
Better, he decided. Now she could breathe and he could revisit the considerable comforts of having her stretched out over him. He raised a hand and ran it down her hair. The more he saw it left free to flow over her shoulders, the more the sight pleased him. Maybe he’d hide every one of those fancy clips she owned so she couldn’t keep it tied back. Uh-huh. That plan held definite appeal.
Amanda stirred. “We probably should get some sleep,” she murmured.
“Yeah,” he agreed. Trouble was, he had little desire to drift off yet. Right now, he was content to enjoy the moment. There hadn’t been many times in his life when he’d felt this good, he realized. Could be he’d never felt this good. Again he had to admit that he owed it to the woman he was coming to like more and more as time passed.
Could be you’re even starting to do more than like her, Devlin, an inner voice told him, winning his full attention.
More than like her? Dev slowly opened his eyes as that thought rolled through him. He found Amanda gazing down at him, her elbows propped on his chest and a sleepy expression on her face, as though she were ready to slide into her dreams.
He wanted to be in those dreams—and not just tonight, he recognized as the blunt truth of the matter hit him with the impact of a fist to the gut. No, he wanted a lot more than that. Needed it, in fact. And all because, unless everything inside him was badly mistaken, something was happening to him that had never happened before.
“Are you all right?” she whispered with a sudden frown.
He knew he was staring, but he couldn’t help it. “I think,” he told her with simple directness, “that I’m falling in love with you.”
Her whole body stiffened in a flash as her eyes went wide. Then another frown appeared and dug deep into her brow as she frankly stared at him in return.
Obviously, he thought, she wasn’t rejoicing at the news.
“You can’t mean that,” she said at last.
For some reason his temper threatened to surface, but he kept a lid on it. “I mean it.”
She gave her head a quick shake. “No, it’s too soon to even be considering something like that.”
“I didn’t consider it,” he informed her in a candid admission. “It just seems to be happening.”
She pulled away and rolled off him, then reached down and tugged the white top sheet up to her shoulders. “You’ve been through a lot today. You may think otherwise in the morning.”
“I doubt it,” he replied, and meant it. He didn’t bother to cover himself as he turned on his side and propped his head on an upraised palm. “Mind telling me why you look so shook up?”
She hesitated for so long that he began to suspect she might not answer at all before she spoke. “This was supposed to be a different sort of marriage.”
“And then things changed when we wound up in bed that first time,” he reminded her.
“Yes,” she allowed, “but they didn’t change entirely. We just found out that we were good together, ah, physically.”
He was starting to get her drift. “So we can sleep with each other, but getting in too deep in other ways could wind up being a problem, is that it?”
Again she hesitated. “It could be a major problem,” she told him, her voice soft yet as serious as he’d ever heard it, “if the marriage doesn’t last.”
That had been their agreement, he had no trouble recalling. Once she had full legal custody of her sisters and brothers, the two of them would be free to go their separate ways whenever they chose to down the road. But that was before they’d lived together. And slept together. And shared some private details about themselves and their families.
“What makes you think the marriage might not last?” he had to ask.
A quiet sigh broke from her throat. “I’d rather not get into that. It’s late and we both need some rest.”
He had to wonder why she was skirting the issue. Avoiding it wasn’t likely to do either of them any good. “We’ll both rest easier if we get a few things straight, trust me.”
But she didn’t trust him.
Dev drew in a sharp breath, suddenly as certain of that as he was of his own name. And, unless he’d gone flat around the bend, it all went back to what had happened with her parents.
Amanda cleared her throat delicately. “I think it would be better to—”
He broke in, deciding to cut to the chase. “You’re worried that I won’t be there for you any more than your father turned out to be there for your mother, aren’t you?”
The stark seconds of dead silence that followed told him he was on the right track. Damn, he thought grimly, he didn’t want to be right. Not this time.
“I’m not the gambler he was. Throwing a buck a week into the lottery pool has basically been my limit. But I was wild enough in other ways at one time to have you questioning whether I’d be a good bet to stick around for the long haul.” He paused for a beat. “Your mother found out that it was risky to rely on your father—and now you’re leery of taking a chance on me.”
More silence greeted those words. Again that was enough to tell him what he didn’t want to know. “I could say you’re wrong, that I really have changed. But it all boils down to the fact that if you can’t trust me enough to take chance on me,” he added as he shifted and got out of bed, “then this marriage probably doesn’t have much hope of making it.”
He’d pulled on his jeans and had started for the door to the hall in his bare feet before the sound of Amanda’s quiet voice drifted over his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
He didn’t turn around. “I’m not much of a drinking man anymore these days, either,” he said, “but a beer seems to be in order. Lord knows, it’s been one helluva day.”
And with that, he walked out.
HE’D READ HER like a book. In fact, he’d given her a whole new awareness of why she’d been so reluctant to believe he would ever really settle down. The father she’d adored had abandoned both her and her mother, and although her mother had bounced back and met the challenge of living life without him, her daughter had never been able to quite wipe out what had happened in the past. Dev Devlin had been right about that, Amanda thought, just as he’d been right about something else.
If she couldn’t find it in her heart to truly trust her husband, they could never have a real future together.
Nearly a week had passed since the memorable night he’d made that plain to her in no uncertain terms, and she was still far from certain where they went from here. At home, they’d both managed to act as though everything was fine for the children’s sake. Away from the house, they’d continued their project of making some improvements to the Heartbreaker. At night, they still slept together in the same bed. They’d even silently turned to each other for physical satisfaction more than once in the quiet hours between midnight and dawn.
But, despite all of that, everything was far from fine, she knew.
“You need to perk up,” Irene Caldwell said, taking a break from her investigation of the large carton holding the latest shipment of books that had arrived at the Ex-Libris. As usual, the avid reader had been eager to inspect the new stock. “In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s a beautiful afternoon.”
Amanda ignored the older woman’s abruptly probing look and summoned a smile. “That it is,” she agreed with determined good cheer.
Like any veteran Montana resident, she wouldn’t have been all that surprised to fin
d a late snowstorm in progress as she glanced out the store’s wide front window. Instead, spring in all its warm and sun-splashed glory had chosen to come out and play. If the good weather lasted, before long wild flowers could well be blooming in the meadows outside town.
Irene went back to her investigation. “Some of these books look as old as the hills. Finn Hollis must have ordered them. I don’t think he’s ever going to stop.”
“The scholarly man would probably refer to them as rare first editions in prime shape,” Amanda countered. She took another short sip of the frothy mocha she’d slipped over to the diner for earlier. Sometimes tea just didn’t do it.
“Well, they’re still as old as the hills, rare or not.” With that verdict, Irene straightened a second before Stella Montgomery walked in from the street.
Amanda set her drink down on the counter. Her smile reappeared as she offered a greeting. When it came to Jester’s older population, she felt closest to Finn and Irene, probably because they shared an abiding love for the written word. Still, she had always liked Stella, too. Then again, how could you not like someone who looked like a merry cherub with her tight blond curls and slightly pudgy figure?
“Thought I’d find you here,” Stella told Irene. Both women lived at the boarding house and were fast friends. “I just got the urge for a hot fudge sundae. Want to join me in consuming some calories?”
Irene mulled that over for a moment, then nodded. “Why not? It’ll be a while yet to dinner.”
“We’ll have a new boarder at the supper table tonight.” Stella, who liked meeting people, was obviously pleased.
“Man or woman?” Irene asked.
“Woman. She didn’t say much when she checked in a few minutes ago.” A thoughtful expression settled on Stella’s face. “I seem to remember seeing her in Jester before. She was driving the same blue sedan she parked at the boarding house today.”
Irene frowned. “Not a reporter, is she?”
“Oh, I don’t think so.” Stella tapped a small finger to her lips. “Although I suspect she’d be a tough interviewer. She has a let’s-get-down-to-business air about her. You know, the no-nonsense type.”
Those last words won Amanda’s notice. She knew someone who would fit that description, she mused to herself after bidding Irene and Stella goodbye. Someone, she recalled, who drove a blue sedan. Someone, in fact, who was no stranger to Jester.
No, she was letting her imagination take over, she thought. It couldn’t be her.
Then, in the next breath, she discovered it was her as the front door opened again and Louise Pearson stepped in.
“Hello,” Amanda said from her place behind the counter. She considered trying to dredge up a smile, but Louise looked far from ready to offer one in return. Her expression was as sober as Amanda had ever seen it.
“Good afternoon,” the social worker replied in her typical brisk fashion. “Would your husband be next door at this time of day?”
That question, issued without the barest of preliminaries, brought Amanda up short. It took her a moment to respond. “Yes, he should be at the Heartbreaker.”
“Good.” Louise dipped her chin in a satisfied nod. “I would appreciate it if you could ask him to join us. I’d like to talk to you both, and I’d rather not do it at your home, where the children may be around.”
A shiver of unease ran down Amanda’s spine. “Is something wrong?”
“That remains to be seen,” Louise told her.
Amanda reached for the phone behind the counter and punched in the saloon’s number. It rang twice before the call was picked up on the other end.
“Heartbreaker. Devlin here.”
“It’s Amanda,” she told him. “Can you come over to the store right away?”
“Sure,” he replied after a brief pause. It was plain that he hadn’t expected that request. “Everything okay?”
Amanda ignored that question in favor of a short explanation. “Louise Pearson is here and she’d like to talk to the both of us.”
Another pause, longer this time, followed. “Is that good or bad?” he asked at last.
“I wish I knew,” she murmured.
“Be right there.”
Amanda carefully replaced the receiver. “Why don’t we make ourselves comfortable in the sitting area at the back?” She gestured the way with a lifted hand.
“All right,” Louise replied. She marched off toward the rear of the store and took a seat on one of the leather chairs.
Amanda followed. “Can I fix you a cup of tea?”
“No, thank you.”
So much for the social graces, Amanda thought. She sank down on a love seat and folded her hands in her lap, glad that she’d chosen to wear her cream-colored wool suit on this particular Friday. At least she was on the same footing as her visitor, who’d opted for another strictly business outfit.
Louise didn’t seem inclined to make casual conversation, so Amanda kept her peace and counted the seconds until the front door opened and closed. A few long strides brought Dev to the back of the bookstore.
He took a seat beside Amanda and only the barest greetings were exchanged before Louise sat forward. “Since I’m sure you’re curious as to why I requested this meeting, I won’t waste any time getting to the point.” She switched her penetrating gaze back and forth to include both of the Devlins. “An anonymous source has contacted Child and Family Services and made some interesting claims.”
Interesting claims? Amanda was wondering what that could possibly mean when Louise continued.
“According to the information received, the two of you were longstanding adversaries before your hasty marriage. In fact, you were seen engaging in more than one confrontation outside your respective businesses.”
The fingers Amanda had laced together tightened. Her first impulse, one born of desperation when she considered how that information might affect her sisters and brothers, was to flatly deny what she’d just been told. Then reason kicked in and she realized that it might be far wiser to try to put the best possible slant on what was, after all, the truth.
As though he’d reached the same conclusion, Dev said, “Well, it wasn’t always easy operating a bookstore and a bar next to each other, but our differences weren’t near as serious as this anonymous source might have figured.” His voice took on a hard-as-steel edge at the reference to whoever had contacted Family Services.
Amanda frowned. Was it the same person who had leaked information to the media about the private lives of some of the Main Street Millionaires following the lottery win? she wondered. She had to conclude that it could well be.
“So your differences weren’t serious?” Louise asked, arching a meaningful brow. There was no mistaking the suspicion glinting in her gaze.
“Not by any means,” Amanda informed her, making that as firm a statement as she could.
Louise mulled that over for a second. “And your getting married was a love match, pure and simple?”
“Absolutely,” Dev wasted no time in replying. To back that up, he laid an arm around Amanda’s shoulders. “I explained how it was at our meeting in Pine Run.”
“Yes, you did,” Louise agreed dryly, as though she had little trouble recalling how persuasive he’d been. “And at the time, of course, there was nothing on record to dispute it. Now, however, this new information will have to be checked out. Which I intend to do,” she added with a determined look, “very thoroughly.”
“I’ll bet you will,” Dev said in a low murmur just loud enough for Amanda to catch.
“In the meantime,” Louise told them as she rose to her feet, “the petition for adoption of the Bradley children has been put on hold pending the results of my findings.”
Amanda felt a momentary panic that threatened to swamp her. Surely the children wouldn’t be taken away from her. The authorities had to recognize that where they were was the best place for them. They had to. She wanted to believe that so badly it helped her maintain an outer la
yer of calm. When the man beside dropped his arm from her shoulders and stood in one rapid motion, she followed his example and viewed their visitor with a small lift of her chin.
“We’ll be waiting to hear from you,” she told Louise.
The two women traded a long look before Louise issued a final statement. “I’ll be staying at the local boarding house for a few days while I gather more facts, so I should be able to come to some conclusions soon.” With that, she turned and started for the front of the store, leaving the Devlins to look after her as she departed.
The door had barely closed behind the social worker when Dev issued a ripe curse. “If I ever find out who that anonymous source was, they won’t be happy, believe me.”
Amanda believed him. There was no mistaking the gritty resolve in his deep voice. “The question is,” she said on a sigh, “what can we do to make sure Louise’s findings are favorable?”
“At the moment I’m in more of a mood to kick some butt,” he bit out.
She looked up at him. “I wouldn’t mind kicking some myself.”
That earned her a faint smile. “Well, you’re not all that big, but you’re mighty, I’ve got to admit.”
She couldn’t quite manage a smile in return at a concession she once would have never expected to win, certainly not from the person whose tight male backside she’d wanted to put a well-placed foot to more than a time or two in the past. “The thing is, kicking whatever might fill the bill, as satisfying as it may be in the short term, won’t get us anywhere.”
He blew out a resigned breath and shoved the hands that had been fisted at his sides into his jeans pockets. “Too bad I have to concede that you’re right on that score.”
“The question is, what can we do that might get us somewhere?” she asked, sharing his clear frustration. “We can’t stop Louise from gathering information about us, and we can’t stop people in Jester from providing it.”
“I can close a few mouths if I have to.”
She rolled her eyes. “No kicking or closing any part of anyone’s anatomy, okay?”
He shrugged. “Okay, if you want to ruin all my fun.”