“Gabriel, oh Gabriel,” she moaned, raising her arms above her head. She fisted her hands, her fingernails painfully piercing her palms, etching crescent-shapes into her flesh.
“Your passion sets me afire, my beautiful Redbird,” he whispered breathlessly, his own excitement gleaming in the sapphire eyes that watched her. Her toes curled as the spasms grew stronger and stronger, dominating her senses until the yearning for release became both agonizing and sensational. Crying out his name once again, her desire crested, then burst, shattering through every nerve ending in her body.
“Now you are ready for me,” he said, moving between her thighs. She wrapped her legs around his hips, feeling the tip of his phallus making way for penetration. With one thrust he’d be inside her. But he remained still, posed at her gate.
Searching his face, she saw uncertainty clouding his eyes. He tried to turn his face aside, but she stopped him, resting the palms of her hands on each side of his face. “Enter me, Gabriel. I am ready to please you as you have done me.”
“I cannot, Riley,” he choked out hoarsely, pulling away from her grasp and rolling off of her. Reaching for the extra throw blanket draped at the foot of the bed, he wrapped it around himself, and took a seat on a nearby chase beside the fireplace.
The wonderful and warm sensations of a moment ago gelled like lumps of ice in her veins. She watched as he curled up on the lounge and stared at the fire. Though he said not a word, his actions spoke volumes. And what they said broke her to the very core. He was unable to make love to her because he still felt something for Collette.
Riley swallowed hard past the lump of shame and sorrow lodged now in her throat. How she wished she could run from the room, leave his sight so she could cry her heart out in privacy. But the cottage was only made up of one room, and spending the night in the privy would be more humiliating then staying in the bed.
“I am sorry. This is not about you,” he added, running a hand through his hair.
“Then who is it about?” As if she didn’t already know, but would he be honest enough to say the other woman’s name? Lucinda said honesty and trust were most important in a marriage. Did Gabriel feel the same? Would he trust her enough to be honest? She waited...and silently prayed.
“It grows late, and Lord Wade’s carriage will be here early tomorrow to fetch us,” he said, keeping his eyes on the fire burning before him. “So it would be wise for you to get some rest.”
Rest! How is that now possible?
She bit her lip until she tasted blood, trying to still the hurt and rage that coursed through her. Having an argument the first night they wed was not her idea of starting out a marriage on a good foot. “Are you coming to bed?”
“In a moment. I need a moment,” he muttered.
“Very well,” she said. Turning down the dim, flaring light of the lantern, she rolled onto her side and faced away from him. She may not be as skilled in bed as Collette Halston, but she did have a sense of pride. As she pulled the coverlet up to cover her nakedness, tears silently fell from her eyes, wetting the linen pillowcase.
Never...ever would she beg for his love.
Chapter Thirty-One
Gabriel’s insides ached. His chest felt tight and his stomach churned. How could he have done what he did? Did he not wait so long, want so much for the moment to come when he could make Riley completely his? Now, instead of feeling the warmth of her body close to his, he was sitting, freezing on a lounge, wrapped in a throw that barely covered his flesh. And she was alone in bed, weeping. As hard as she tried to keep her tears silent, he heard them in the darkness...heart-wrenching, spirit-breaking sobs that he caused, and all he could offer as an explanation was the problem was not about her.
He cringed at his behavior. If his father were here, he would be ashamed of Gabriel’s actions. Never would Proud Eagle humiliate and hurt Golden Lady in such a way. A man who loved his wife respected her, honored her, was honest with her, and trusted her with his feelings.
It had been a long time since he cried real tears of sorrow and pain, loss and anguish. But now his eyes welled, and he covered his face with his hands. He was in love with Riley and wanted to show her how much he yearned for her, hardly able to contain the rolling desire within him. And yet the paralyzing facts of the past halted him in his tracks. When he was about to enter the passage of her womanhood, he suddenly realized the consequences...on this very night he could get her with child. His seed would fill her with life, a life that could render her death. It happened once before to a woman he loved. He would not allow it to happen again.
He slept fitfully, his dreams tormenting him.
He found himself walking in a darkened land, dense with trees, void of human touch, cold and sad. This was the exact condition of his heart before he met Riley. As he wandered further, he came to an opening in the forest’s wall, where the moon could be seen shimmering in the waters of a pond. There is where he found her, the splendor of her delicate visage awash in the moonlight. When she spotted him, she made way to leave the area.
His voice held her as he called her name. She turned to face him. “Do not go,” he pleaded.
“I cannot stay where I’m not wanted, Gabriel,” she said.
The truth fell out of his mouth unexpectedly. “I do want you, Redbird, but alive, not dead, not dead,” he cried.
“Unless you live for today, your heart will forever be locked into a bloody vendetta with the past. Yesterday is gone and will never come again,” she said.
“My own words back to haunt me,” he moaned, before waking with a start.
When he opened his eyes, it was to the new day. He found her sitting on the window seat cushions, with her chin on her fist, looking out at the forest beyond. Her angelic profile was silhouetted against the pre-dawn light.
His stomach tied itself in knots as he sat up. “I am sorry, shi’aad.”
“I know that word,” she said curtly. “Sunny taught it to me.” She pulled the coverlet that shielded her nakedness tighter around her bared shoulders. “It means, my wife, in Apache.”
He shifted where he sat. “You speak the truth.”
“But you didn’t,” she said, turning to face him. There was just enough gray light to see the tears prickling her eyes, threatening to spill over. “You said you wanted me, but you don’t. You didn’t speak the truth.”
He shot her an apologetic glance. “I am sorry from the depths of my heart if that is what I made you feel.”
Frustration, anger, fatigue, and whatever other nameless emotions she might be feeling shifted across her face. “It is how I feel. And I won’t stay married this way...to a man who keeps me as his wife in name only, then fills his primal urges with other women.”
He frowned. “I would never do such a thing.”
“You will eventually, if you never wish to lie with me. It is authentic human nature for men to fill their carnal needs in such a manner, especially if the man is in love with a woman other than his wife.”
He stood, his wrap falling to pool around his ankles. “Is that what you think? That I love another woman?”
“Aye, last night you made it perfectly clear to me that you still had feelings for Collette,” she remarked brusquely.
“Collette?”
“Aye, Collette. And so I have decided when we reach Ireland, I will remain there, with my father’s folks. They are the only blood kin I have left in this world. Perhaps they will grow to love me...be my family.”
He made his way to where she sat and took her by the shoulders, pulling her to her feet. “First of all, I am not the type of man who marries and then disrespects my wife by climbing into another’s bed. I have given my word, taken vows, and I will keep my oath until death parts us. And second, I am now your family, and you will only be wherever I am.”
“Nay, I will not be second best in your heart,” she cried, the tears now slipping down her cheeks.
“You are not second best. You are the only one true love
of my heart,” he reassured her.
“Then why did you stop loving me?” she sobbed. “Why did you pull away, after you...you...?”
“Because I feared I would get you with child. And then you would die and leave me alone, cold, sad, and unloved again,” he blurted out.
Her rants subsided, and she stared wide-eyed and puzzled. “I thought the day Sunny gave birth you were resolved of such fears.”
He shrugged. “When I was about to enter you, the consequences of my actions returned to haunt me. And that is the whole truth of the situation, shi’aad,” he said in a softer tone. “As I told you last night, it was not about you.”
“But it is about me. With such a notion as that, you are dooming me to a loveless marriage as well as yourself. Soon there would be a vast distance between us. Oh, we might appear as though we are a couple, because we’d be living in the same household, but the emotional distance would eventually build an invisible wall between us. With you on one side and me on the other, going our separate ways, how can our hearts be anything but empty and lonely? I have seen such unions between a man and woman, and it isn’t for me. Not to mention the fact we wouldn’t have children or grandchildren. I don’t want a life such as that.” She searched his face. “Do you?”
“No. I do not want...I never want that for either of us,” he confessed, true regret for his actions constricting his throat.
“Well, then I’d say there is no further reason to speculate about it,” she finally replied. “You must decide now whether you wish to love me to your fullest capacity.” She opened her arms, allowing the coverlet to fall to the floor. Standing stark naked before him, she cast him a mischievous smile. “There is still some time left before our carriage arrives to make things right between us.”
His only response was an amused grin. Gathering her into his embrace, he carried her to the bed, marveling before he set her down over the warm sensations her nude body felt against his. She lay back against the pillows, long, ginger curls fanning out around her face like a tribal headdress. His grin grew into a full, satisfied smile. “Riley Eagle, should I make you ready for me once again?”
“Oh, aye, Gabriel Golden Eagle,” she quickly agreed, spreading her legs to reveal the exquisite scene of her female gender.
He climbed into bed beside her, and this time sought to pleasure her using his mouth. With the tip of his tongue, he gently entered her soft folds, teasing the wet, hot region with feather-like flicks. She squirmed with delight, spreading her thighs even further apart. Then he increased his attention upon her, feeling the slippery nub quake against his tongue. The unique scent, taste, and texture of her flesh swelled his loins. And when she arrived at the pinnacle of passion, her climatic spasms thrilled him to the core of his being.
He raised his head, glimpsing the fulfilled expression upon her sweet countenance. Her contentment filled him with such an overwhelming bliss he thought for sure his heart would burst from happiness. He drew himself up on his knees and looked down at her.
Her green eyes shone with flecks of gold, dreamy now as they gazed up at him adoringly. “Oh, Gabriel, what you do to me is so absolutely amazing,” she breathlessly muttered.
“I only pray I can continue to summon such unbridled praise from your lips,” he said, positioning himself between her thighs.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, the dainty heels of her feet resting on his lower back. “I’ve got you good, now my love.”
“I have no intentions of going anywhere this time, shi’aad,” he whispered, erect with desire. Without further hesitation he entered her pocket, breaking her virginity with one thrust.
She gasped, her thighs tightening momentarily around him.
He kissed her lips, whispering against her mouth. “Do you know what makes this even more wonderful to me?”
“Nay,” she said softly, her inner thigh muscles beginning to relax against him.
“The fact that I am the first and will be the only man to ever touch you in this way,” he said.
She sought his mouth with her own, deepening the kiss as he moved in and out of her, slowly at first. She was tight and hot, and the feel of her beneath him made him want to savor the pleasure. But then the savoring turned to devouring, as his momentum increased. She matched the rhythm of his motions, the friction of their bodies bringing him to the edge of what he craved for so long. It took every last modicum of control to keep from exploding inside of her, as he yet wanted to relish the experience.
But when she increased the movement of her own hips, arching her back to consume him deeper, he could hold on no longer. With a fervent groan of pure ecstasy, he erupted within her. Every muscle, nerve, and tendon in his body bulged to capacity as he filled her hard and long. Then breathless and spent, he rolled onto his side, pulling her to him.
She nestled her face beneath his chin. “I had no idea it could be this way.”
He smiled to himself, completely happy for the first time in many years.
She draped a leg over him, snuggling her perfectly sensuous body closer.
“If you are chilled, I can get the coverlet,” he offered, remembering it was left upon the floor.
“Nay,” she whispered. “I’m far from feeling cold. In fact,” she added, “I don’t believe I will ever be cold again.”
“Well, not if I can help it,” he whispered in return, before drifting into a deep sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Gabriel did not think much about the reason Lord Wade’s carriage arrived a few hours later than it was expected. At the time, he was somewhat grateful. The delay afforded him and Riley well needed sleep, plus a chance to discover each other all over again. But once back at Wade’s Landing, the gratitude turned into sorrow as Percival, Lord Wade’s butler, ignored their wish to freshen-up a bit before greeting the others and instead adamantly directed them with a subdued expression to the oversized parlor. Upon entering the large sitting room, his eyes went around to the saddened faces staring back at them. Sunny, Rafe, Aunt Kaylena, Lucinda Collins, and Reverend Holmes all appeared somber. But amongst them, Sunny appeared the worst. The utter and complete devastation upon her face frightened him. Instantly he assumed something horrible happened to one of the twins.
He shared a puzzled look with Riley, then after taking an audible breath, he inquired, “What is wrong?”
“Oh, my brother,” Sunny cried, hurrying from her seat to run straight into his arms.
He held her close as she sobbed uncontrollably against his shoulder. Many times he held his little sister in this fashion, soothing her from a cut knee, or after she had to set one of her critters free. But the tears she shed now, those of a broken heart, scared him through and through. “Dayden, what has happened?”
Reverend Holmes answered his question instead. “I’ve received word from Reverend Newcomb. The letter was sent to Cavenworth, my sister’s home. It’s how Benjamin always contacts me.”
Dread enclosed around his heart, and he swallowed hard the lump lodged in his throat. “And what did he have to say?”
“It is our father,” Sunny managed to gulp out between sobs. “He is dead.”
As his sister’s words penetrated his senses, the room began to spin. He staggered back against the wall with Sunny still clinging to him.
“Gabriel!” Riley grabbed his arm to steady him. Her eyes were already brimming with tears.
“Whoa, there, old chap,” Rafe said, coming to his rescue. After taking Sunny from him and settling her into a nearby chair, Riley helped Gabriel to sit in another.
He was positioned directly opposite the fire, now quite ablaze. Yet the room felt so cold. He shivered and turned his gaze to Joshua Holmes. “How did he die?”
“It was a hunting accident. A few months ago, he decided to go on a hunt, and another hunter accidentally shot him in the leg. Without the proper care, the wound festered, and the infection spread.”
Gabriel doubted it was an accident. Proud Eagle was an experie
nced hunter, knew the dangers and acted accordingly. His father was more than likely purposely shot. He knew the white agent’s tricks. For a long time, they had wanted to rid themselves of the tribe’s chief. And withholding the proper care was just the way to get the job done.
His hands fisted in his lap, the knuckles gleaming white and the tendons in his neck bulging with rage. But he controlled himself, for Sunny’s sake. It would do her no good to entertain his suspicions, though they are well founded. As it was, Sunny kept sobbing. “I always had hopes of seeing my father again, of him seeing my babies,” and her anguish wrenched his heart.
Then another dreadful sadness welled up in him as he remembered Golden Lady. Her grief was probably just as insurmountable, if not more so than either he or Sunny could imagine. And her life, now without the protection of his father, would be in grave danger. “What of my mother?”
Josh held a grim expression. “She is beyond herself with sorrow, as you might well expect, but she is being kept safe, with the Newcombs at the parsonage.”
“And the others?” he said.
“According to Benjamin’s account of tribal members, there are less than a dozen left. He fails, however, to list who they are,” Josh said. “Those that remain are also at the parsonage, sharing quarters in the barn and the stables until other accommodations can be made.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger, as if to ease the pain of a headache brought on by the devastating situation. “You say this all happened a few months ago?”
“Aye,” Josh said. “Unfortunately mail travel overseas is slow.”
Gabriel inhaled sharply, managing to collect himself before he spoke further. “That is just the time my intuition filled with apprehension, and I felt deep in my bones something was not right with my people. I wanted to return to America but...”
“But you did not want to leave me while I was with child. If it were not for that, you would have gone home. And if you had, perhaps father would still be alive.” Sunny glanced hurriedly around the room. “Do you not all see how this is my fault?”
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