However, had it not been for those circumstances, neither of us would be in our current happy situation.
Yes, I was happy, although I knew Baxter would not be put off indefinitely.
Much as I might have thought the task of decorating the home for the holidays was beneath my station as lady’s maid to the mistress of the house, the mundane chore allowed some space for thoughts and reflection on my life.
What was the cause of my hesitation? I had no objections to Baxter, of that I was certain. He was a man of upstanding character and beneath his frosty butler’s exterior he was a sweet and warm hearted man of passion. It particularly pleased me that the rest of the household thought of him as stern and austere. It was only I who had the privilege of seeing his tender side, an intimacy nearly as personal as the physical acts we shared.
This morning was not the first time he had brought up the issue of marriage. Why did I not accept his proposals?
My father had abandoned my mother, what if Baxter did the same to me? All was fun and games now, with our stolen moments of passion. I could not help but wonder if his suggestions of marriage were well thought out. I did not question his sincerity, but I had some hesitation over our long term prospects. Did I believe enough in Baxter to take that risk? Or give up my close relationship with Lady Tempest? I had been making my own way in the world for many years. Could I give that up and rely on Baxter?
I finished hanging the greens before I had an answer to that question. As I started down the ladder a whirl of noise and activity entered the room.
“Bingley! Get back here. Oh, how you vex me.” A dog with a stick in its mouth ran through the room, two others following close behind, yapping at his heels. The canine parade circled the room twice before their mistress caught up with them, out of breath but still calling after her pets, Lady Calliope St. Clair, freshly arrived from London.
The dogs, Bingley, Wickham and Darcy, were never far from their mistress, well, except for those times when they tended to run off, but Lady Calliope never ventured far from home without the rambunctious beasts.
In my short tenure at Primrose Park I had become adept at wrangling the dogs. By the time I started after them, Bingley had gotten himself stuck under a chair with the stick wedged between the legs. Had he the sense to let loose the stick, he would have been free to scamper about the room. Instead, he whimpered in frustration. Wickham sniffed around the room and settled under the table where refreshments had been placed. Darcy jumped up on an embroidered footstool and sat, viewing the room imperiously.
I pried the stick from Bingley’s jaw, used it to give Wickham a poke and stared at Darcy until he jumped down and did as he was told.
“Oh, bless you, Mattie,” Lady Calliope said, falling into an overstuffed chair next to the table upon which refreshments had been laid. “It has been a wearying trip from London. Have you ever seen it snow like this before?” The dogs gathered on the floor near Lady Calliope. She tossed biscuits from the tea table to them which they gobbled up and sat waiting for more.
“Happy Christmas, my lady,” I said. “I am sure Lady Tempest will be glad to know you have arrived. I shall go and give her the good news.”
“No need, Mattie, I am here.” Lady Tempest, heavy with child, lumbered into the room. To my surprise, the dogs remained in place. I had feared their exuberance might cause them to rush after Lady Tempest and in her ungainly state she might be in danger of taking a tumble, but instead the dogs behaved themselves. Perhaps they had a semblance of manners after all.
Lady Calliope jumped from her seat and embraced her daughter-in-law as best she could, given Lady Tempest’s girth.
“Oh, my beautiful girl.” Lady Calliope beamed and stroked her hands across Lady Tempest’s belly, then lowered her face to Lady Tempest’s navel. “Hello! This is your grandmother! We are all looking forward to your arrival. I hope you will be here to celebrate Christmas with us.”
When Lady Calliope finished chatting with her unborn grandchild I assisted Lady Tempest to a seat and then prepared her tea and a plate of sweets.
“How are you feeling, Tempest dear? What does the doctor say?”
“I feel gigantic and I am starving all the time,” she replied around a mouthful of cake. “But otherwise, I feel quite well. Mattie, would you be kind enough to refill my plate?”
I complied with her request and set the plate before her, moving my hand quickly out of the way lest my mistress mistake my digits for lady fingers.
“How soon will my grandchild arrive?” Lady Calliope needed no assistance with keeping her plate filled. “My fingers are just itching to hold that little baby.”
“The doctor says it could be any day. I shall acknowledge I am a bit anxious about the delivery, but now that you are here, I feel much more at ease.”
Lady Calliope, for all her loud and unconventional ways, was a dear and loving woman who was utterly devoted to her daughter-in-law. It did my heart good to see the two of them together, knowing how devoid of love Lady Tempest’s life had been before her marriage to Lord Knox.
“What a kind thing for you to say, my dear. It means more to me than you will ever know. I am a woman who craves words of love and affection.”
“Speaking of which, I understand that Colonel St. Clair will be arriving on the twenty-fourth, is that correct?”
“Yes, he has some business to attend to. Plus, there is that special delivery you have asked him to make.”
As a servant, I was accustomed to being treated as though I was invisible, particularly while conversations where happening and I had developed a good habit of trying not to listen and most definitely not participating.
Having said all that, I was quite curious about the special delivery which Lady Tempest mentioned. I am sure it was not any of my concern, most likely something for the baby or maybe a special Christmas gift for Lord Knox.
Regardless, it had absolutely nothing to do with me. Of that I was certain.
Chapter 2
Tempest
I sat upon a sturdy chair in my bedchamber, the weight of my unborn child pressing against my ribs, my bladder, my heart and nearly everything I could imagine. However, when I rested my hand at the very bottom of my bulging stomach I could feel the kick of the life which was growing inside of me, and that made all of the discomfort, the unwieldiness, and the ruination of my body worth it.
To think I had avoided pregnancy for fear that my husband, Lord James Knox, would lose interest in me caused me to laugh to myself. Nothing could be further from the truth.
As I rested in my room before changing for dinner, my husband entered. My heart fluttered in my chest. We had been married for a very short time, barely long enough to produce a baby without causing tongues to whisper all around the ton, and never in my wildest imaginings would I have expected to love someone so profoundly.
Our life as a married couple had not started out so smoothly, and there were many times when I had to question the veracity of Lady Ambrosia, having put us together as an ideal match. But, out of our difficult beginnings, love had blossomed and grown, and along with that – my stomach.
James’ eyes glowed with a fervent love that warmed me through and through as he gazed down upon me in my heavily-with-child state.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen,” he said leaning down to press his lips to my protruding belly. And just as his mother had done, he began to speak to my unborn child. “Hello my sweet son and heir, this is your father, Lord James Knox. I am instructing you to arrive soon for we are most eager to meet you. Your mother is quite an extraordinary woman and I am sure that she will be an outstanding mother and you will love her very much, just as I do.”
My husband liked to think that he and his mother, Lady Calliope, were opposite ends of the spectrum. In many ways they were. He was orderly and organized and somewhat stern, although I had learned that I liked him very much when his dark brows knitted together and he looked at me down his well shaped nos
e and called me his naughty little bride.
In contrast, his mother was disorganized, loud, unpredictable but always accepting of one and all. What they did have in common, however, was a fierce love, particularly for me, and I was selfish enough to wish for it all to myself at every opportunity. They were both intensely loyal and devoted to those they loved. In addition, they also shared a sense of duty and obligation to their heredity including Primrose Park, their tenants, and all in their employ.
“Your mother has arrived,” I informed him.
“Yes, I heard the dogs,” he said with a sigh.
“I thought you were a dog lover,” I said, knowing that this was the type of remark which vexed my husband.
He looked at me with a sideways glance. “Those pugs are not real dogs. They are nothing more than daft playthings with no self-control and often no bladder control, much to the detriment of some of the finer furnishings here at Primrose Park.”
“Yes, they do bring a certain amount of chaos with them,” I said, trying to hide my smile.
“My dogs,” he said, “are real dogs, working dogs. Bloodhounds have a scientific purpose, can be used to help find people and are worthy of study. In addition, my dogs are kept in a kennel, not on the settee.”
James’ desire for order had taken quite a beating since my arrival, and he had, to his credit, adapted reasonably well. However, I could not help but chuckle when considering what the addition of a child to our household might be like for him.
I did not chuckle quite so much when I considered what a new child in the household would mean for me. I felt woefully unprepared for my role as a mother. Oh, I most certainly was thrilled at the prospect of having a child, particularly James’ child, and the two of us becoming a family of three. I expected that in the future we would have several more children, for I looked forward to a household that was busy and full of playfulness. My own dear mother had passed away when I was but a child, and I was subsequently shuffled along to my dreary, unyielding, and unfriendly aunt and uncle to be raised in their sterile household. Consequently, I felt I had little example to go by for how to properly raise a child in a warm and loving environment.
Would my baby sense my ineptitude and reject me? It was a thought too heinous to even comprehend. But the fear still lingered.
“That was quite a scene this morning between Baxter and Mattie,” James said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a sly smile.
“It most certainly was,” I agreed. “I sent her to apologize to him, I did not see her again for a full thirty minutes.” I could barely contain the grin spreading across my face.
“Baxter did seem to be in a particularly good humor when I saw him most recently.” My husband sat down opposite me, lifted one of my feet into his lap, removed my shoe and massaged my pregnancy swollen foot. Have I mentioned how much I love him?
“I cannot understand why the two of them are being so secretive,” I said. Truth be told, I was a little hurt that Mattie had not confided in me. Until my marriage to James, she had been my closest friend and confidant. Now our situation was quite a lot different, as I was the Countess of Knox and she was my maid. However, I liked to believe despite all of the social expectations and titles, she at least still had some trust and affection for me.
“I do not understand it either,” James said. “Perhaps they are not necessarily in love so much, as enjoying the pleasures of one another’s bodies.”
“James! What a scandalous thing for you to say.”
He finished massaging my foot and then leaned forward across the expanse of my waistline and enveloped my mouth in a kiss which left me clutching at the lapels of his coat. “Are you saying it is wrong to enjoy the pleasure of one another’s bodies?”
“Oh James, do be serious.” But I could not help but laugh at his playful antics.
“Their shenanigans are causing quite a disruption to the household. Counting this morning’s little row, their faux fights, which they are no doubt instigating in order to throw us all off to what they have going on, have happened three times in the last fortnight. Not everyone in the household is aware, I don’t believe, that the fights are simply for show, and it causes a certain amount of dissension and stress within the staff. As you know, I do not wish to have disruptions in my household.”
“And you are, like me, more than a tiny bit miffed that they believe they’re able to pull one over on us.”
“Precisely.”
“Well, my dear, I have a couple of ideas which I think might help hurry things along.”
“Have you now? As I recall, the last time you had some bright ideas it involved my mother and you and Mattie chasing down a group of spies. I hope you will give due consideration to your current state, as well as my limits of patience, with whatever it is you have planned.”
“Oh yes, my dear, I have certainly learned that lesson well. Would you like to hear what I have in mind?”
“I am, of course, curious to know your plans, and eagerly look forward to hearing all about them... later. I had the most interesting reading in the library just now. A recent medical journal says that intercourse is a good way to hurry along labor. Baxter and Mattie are not the only ones with whom I am losing patience here at Primrose Park.”
“James, you are scandalous. How you can find me attractive in this state is beyond my comprehension. Furthermore, I’m having a fair amount of trouble imagining the logistics of what you suggest, given my current girth.”
James assisted me to stand and then laid me up on the bed. “My dear,” he said removing his jacket and draping it over the back of the chair he had just been sitting in, “you forget that I am a most determined gentleman.”
Baxter
It had been two days since my last bit of private time with Mattie and I was becoming somewhat desperate with my need. I did not care for having such little control of my emotions and libido and the fact that this poorly behaved upstart of a maid had captured my heart and had done nothing but create havoc within me had caused me no small amount of consternation, but also a great deal of joy.
For many years, the two of us, Lord Knox and myself, had enjoyed a rather orderly and predictable life at Primrose Park, as well as London, the few times Lord Knox had ventured there. During the period before his marriage, the only real chaos arrived in large doses when brought about by Lord Knox’s mother, Lady Calliope.
When his lordship decided to take a wife – and beyond that to do so with the help of a matchmaker, the well-known but eccentric Lady Ambrosia – life became nothing but chaos.
What I found most alarming about this dramatic change in circumstances was that it was within this chaos I found my beloved, and never had I felt more alive. And yet I could not convince her to be my bride. Moreover, she was unwilling to even acknowledge our relationship and insisted upon complete secrecy. It was this insistence which forced us to meet up together and find ways to be in the same place, whether when she was forced to come and apologize to me after one of our staged dramas, or simply sneaking some time when we could be alone.
Though the sneaking about was unseemly, I shall admit the subterfuge added an element of intrigue and spice to our trysts. But, I would give up the opportunity to have her quickly against the wall in the servants’ hallway for the opportunity to have her as my wife for a lifetime. And even married people might still have occasion for a hurried coupling in the servants’ hall just for the sake of it.
No one was more surprised than I when I realized my feelings for Mattie. I had been sent shortly after Lord and Lady Knox’s marriage to retrieve the servant from her home in London where she had been working for the aunt and uncle of the new Lady Knox. I had only spent a few moments in that household and I could certainly understand Mattie’s eagerness to escape the drudgery of service there.
It was clear Mattie and Lady Knox had a friendship not unlike that between myself and my master. For all the ways in which she provoked me, I had to respect Mattie for her devotion to he
r mistress, for I felt the same toward my employer, Lord Knox.
What I did not understand was why she kept putting me off. I knew that I did not have the most prestigious position in the household and could not offer her much. But I believed that together we could make a happy life.
My secret hope was that Lord Knox would permit me the use of one of the small cottages on the estate once we wed. At the time Lord Knox hired me, and frankly up until the last few months, the idea of having my own family had never once taken serious root in my mind.
I took pride in my work as Lord Knox’s manservant. His clothes were always immaculate, well pressed, and of the latest fashion. I was punctual and neat in person and discrete, the ideal gentleman’s gentleman. I had anticipated remaining in that role for as long as Lord Knox would have me, presumably for the entirety of my time in service, and afterwards perhaps I might be afforded the small cottage on the estate to live out the balance of my life.
But, I had become bewitched by Mattie and my plans and hopes were much different than upon my first employ by Lord Knox. It was not unheard of for members of the staff to marry.
As I sat in my room taking a few moments of privacy, I forced myself to set aside my concerns about Mattie. There was much happening at Primrose Park. A grand Christmas Eve celebration was only two days away. Lady Calliope had already arrived, along with her menagerie of dogs. I was grateful not to be a footman who had to deal with the little beasts on a regular basis.
Today, the household was in quite an uproar as a storm was bearing down, bringing with it high winds and heavy snow. In the midst of this, not only was a baby expected at any moment, but Lady Calliope’s husband, Colonel William St. Clair, was en route from London, bringing along additional guests for the festivities.
For some years the Christmas celebrations at Primrose Park had been rather small affairs, as that was Lord Knox’s wish. Before his father’s death and under Lady Calliope’s guidance, Christmas had been extravagant, with a large gathering on Christmas Eve and on Christmas day there were gaily wrapped presents for all of the staff.
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