Her not knowing who I really am is both comforting and sickening at the same time. I want her to see me without labels, as a guy who can take care of her and make her proud to be with. But I also don’t want her setting unrealistic expectations of who I am that do nothing but serve to set her up for a huge letdown.
It’s a problem too tough for me to solve, so I don’t try to. I scoot down on the bed and she follows suit. She lays on my chest and yawns.
“Don’t let me fall asleep,” she says.
“Okay,” I say, watching the stars on my ceiling fade into the darkness.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chloe
I float on Cloud Nine, a.k.a. lie on my bed, as I wait for Jenna to finish washing last night’s eighties party out of her hair. She slings open the bathroom door and busts up into the room buck naked. Girl has zero boundaries.
I shield my eyes while she puts on her bathing suit top. “How was your gig last night?”
“Fabulous. I sang Madonna and Paula Abdul.”
“Sorry I missed it,” I say.
She pulls up her bottoms, picks up her phone like it’s a mic, and croons the song “Holiday,” prancing around the room.
I pick up my sketchbook, feeling inspired.
She points at me. “Put that down. We are going to the beach. Get dressed.” She slides onto my bed and kneels in front of me. “How was your date with our resident hottie?”
I can’t help a grin. “Pretty awesome.”
“Great. He’s coming with us today.”
She jumps off the bed and wrangles her cover-up over her head. She opens the door to the bathroom. “Landingdong, you’re coming to the beach with us. Whoops.”
She flits into the room and jumps on my bed with both hands covering her mouth. “I just saw your boyfriend naked.”
I sit up. “What?” I whisper.
“I pushed the door to his room open, and he had just dropped his shorts to the floor. I saw everything.”
A ridiculous jealousy rises up through my throat. I can’t believe she saw him first. Not that I want to see his…parts…or that I’m anywhere near ready for something like that. But the thought of what it looks like has entered my mind on occasion.
I let out a frustrated sigh. “Did you not knock?”
“No, I figured he’d have the door locked if he didn’t want me to come in.”
I stare at the bathroom door, trying to conjure up what Jenna just saw in my own brain. “I can’t believe he left it unlocked when he was changing.”
She bites her lip. “The handle was locked, but I guess it wasn’t pulled shut all the way.”
“Jenna!”
“Sorry!”
I sit pissed off for a second while she stares at me with those huge emerald puppy dog eyes of hers. She’s a harmless train wreck.
My curiosity gets the better of me. “Well, what did he look like?”
“A freaking Greek god. Like that David statue or something.” She circles her finger in the air. “Except his thingy was much bigger.”
My chest heaves at the idea of his thingy. God, what a word. I realize it’s there all the time, but I try not to think about it, the expectation of it…the fact that it has wants and needs.
I backhand her on the thigh. “Jenna!”
“Sorry!”
We stare each other down for a minute, but then burst out in simultaneous laughter.
A knock sounds from the bathroom door sending Jenna’s eyes wide with mischief and my heart soaring.
We shush each other, and then Jenna says, “Come in.”
He glares at her, and we both struggle to keep a straight face.
“Did you see what I did just then?” He motions at the door with a knocking motion.
“Mmm hmm,” Jenna says.
“Do that next time.” He turns to walk away, and we both burst out in laughter.
Jenna and I sit on the beach watching Landon and Roth tossing a football back and forth, the waves crashing into their legs. Landon’s tanned physique glistens in the sun as the beads of salt water and sweat trickle down his chest.
“Damn. You done good, my girl,” Jenna says.
“His body is sort of ridiculous, isn’t it?”
She gives a slow nod. “Pretty much. Look at him compared to Roth.”
I consider Roth’s lanky bod. “Roth’s not bad.”
“Roth is a church mouse compared to Landon.”
Roth makes a particularly nice catch and checks to make sure Jenna saw it, a hint of pride inching the corner of his lip up.
“I think Roth is kind of cute,” I say.
“He’s skinny.”
I cut my eyes at her. “You’re one to talk.”
She eyes me. “Take that damn cover up off.”
I gather it to my chest. “Not yet. I can’t believe I let you talk me into wearing this bikini today of all days.”
“Quit calling it a bikini. It’s like a one piece cut in half.”
I look over at her stick thin frame, her stomach flat as a board, practically concave.
Roth tosses the football in our direction, and Jenna catches it. “Come on out and show us what you got, Madonna,” he shouts. She stands and leaps through the sand toward him like a pixie.
Landon walks my way, and I have to steady my breaths. Thank goodness for sunglasses, because I can’t look away from his chest.
He holds out a hand. “Come get in the water with me.”
I exhale and decide it’s now or never. I take his hand, and he pulls me out of my beach chair. I untie my cover up and let it fall into the chair.
I look up at him, and he grins down at me. I can’t be sure, but the expression on his face does seem to indicate he’s not grossed out.
He takes my hand. “You should never cover up your body on this beach again.”
My core comes alive with the look in his eye…like he wants me, but not in a creepy way like Trevor. Landon has been crystal clear with me that he doesn’t mind waiting, even swearing he won’t have sex with me, but I have a feeling I could convince him otherwise if I wanted to. I’m just not sure that’s something I can handle right now, even with someone as honorable as Landon.
Jenna clings to Roth’s back, and he walks them out into the waves a little farther than I’m comfortable with.
“I don’t really care to be shark bait today,” I say.
“We’ll stay close to the shore,” he says. He pulls me out past the crashing waves and turns to me. “I really just wanted to get you away from the beach so I could kiss you.”
He slides his hands around my bare waist, and a shot of tingles invades my stomach, sliding southward. He reaches down and presses his lips against mine, and I’m suddenly hungry with desire for him. I open his mouth with mine as I ease my hands up his chest. I round his shoulders and squeeze his biceps, and then let my hands explore down to his torso and around to the curve of his lower back. I dare to venture farther down and let my hands rest on his behind as I pull his hips against mine.
He pulls away. “Christ, Chloe. You’ve got to quit touching me like that.”
I let out a heavy breath. “I can’t help myself.”
He lifts an eyebrow. “I’m trying to be good. You don’t make it easy.”
“Neither do you.” I pull him back in for another kiss, and we get going again.
He pulls away again. “We’ve got to stop. We’re about to get in trouble out here.”
My body screams to keep going…to keep kissing and touching, exploring and discovering.
“In just a minute,” I say. We kiss more, and as the sea moves up farther on our bodies I wrap my legs around his waist.
He lets out a groan. “Shit.” He peels me off of him. “This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”
&
nbsp; “What is?” I ask.
He closes his eyes in concentration, and then opens them back up to gaze at me with those deep, blue eyes. “Being good.”
It hits me that he’s not a robot. These crazy desires that stir up in me when I’m with him are doing the same thing to him…maybe even worse.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to…tease you.”
He takes my shoulders. “Don’t say that. You’re not a tease. You’re kissing your boyfriend. You can’t help it that it makes him nuts.”
The butterflies in my belly work overtime, flapping their wings faster than hummingbirds. I think he just called me his girlfriend. I’ve never been a girlfriend before.
I smile. “Come on. We’re probably safest on the shore.”
I pull him toward the beach and freeze in my tracks when I see the exotic girl with a leggy blonde in an American flag bikini strolling in front of our beach chairs.
I drop his hand, and a moment later the blonde spots him. The look on her face is significant, like her breath is caught on the inhale. She lets it out, her shoulders dropping, face filling with color.
“Hey Landon,” she says.
The color on his face matches hers. “Hey Ash.” He says it like he’s said it a million times before, and I know instantly this is her. This is his ex. This is the girl he had sex with.
A rumble starts at the pit of my stomach as I survey her. Perfectly straight, long, blond hair falls down her back and chest. Standing around 5’9, she’s a knockout—lean, but with curves in all the right places. I thought I was intimidated before.
The two hesitate, but then wrap their arms around each other in a hug, and my chest tightens at the sight of all their bare skin entwined—at the thought of their familiar touch on each other.
The dark skin on the exotic girl’s face turns a deep shade of red, and she appears as visibly uncomfortable with these two together as I am…which gives me pause.
Landon and the blonde pull away from each other. She straightens her swimsuit around her backside and turns to me expectantly.
“This is Chloe.” Landon points at each girl. “Ashley, Monica.”
We all wave hello, and they both give me the once over…make that thrice over. I suck my stomach in, standing up as straight as possible without being obvious.
“I didn’t know you were back in town,” Landon says, saving us all from the awkward silence among the ocean roar.
“I’m just in town for the week,” Ashley says. “I’ve got a family reunion for the fourth.”
“That’s cool,” he says.
She shifts nervously. “Yeah, it’s going to be a pretty big deal. We’ve got these karaoke people coming.” Her face brightens. “One of the America’s Newest Sensation contestants from this year is going to be there with them. Jenna Quigley. I loved her on that show.”
I look up at Landon for a laugh or at least a secret smile, but nada. He’s too busy shifting his glance between the two girls. He holds the gaze of the exotic girl, Monica, and she turns away suddenly like she’s been slapped. He said they were friends, but it’s clear by her demeanor she wouldn’t describe him that same way.
I know Landon had a life before I entered the picture, but I can’t help being weirded out by the thought of it. And now I’m certain she has not so easily moved on from whatever was between her and Landon right up until he kissed me that night.
Jenna screams from about ten feet away, Roth chasing her in the waves.
Ashley covers her chest with her hand. “Oh my gosh. Is that her? I can’t believe this.”
I look up at Landon for him to fill her in, but he’s clammed up.
“Actually,” I say, “Jenna is my best friend. We’re here together for the summer.”
Ashley’s eyes widen. “Are you serious?”
I’m digging this turn of events. Her excitement over seeing Jenna is making her human. “Yeah. Do you want to meet her?”
“Oh my gosh, yes!” She turns to Monica who gives a nod full of reluctance.
I turn toward Roth and Jenna. “Jenna, come here.”
Jenna pushes her way through the waves toward us.
“This is Ashley and Monica. They’re friends of Landon’s. You’re doing a gig at Ashley’s family reunion.”
Jenna brightens. “Oh, cool.” She holds out a hand. “Good to meet you. Do you sing?”
Ashley giggles. “No, I’m terrible. Landon can confirm that.”
We look to Landon who gives a closed-mouth smile.
Jenna stabs a finger at Ashley. “Well, get ready, because nobody comes to a party of mine without singing.”
Ashley giggles again like she’s twelve and looks at Monica who gives a forced smile. I wonder if Ashley even realizes something is wrong with her.
“Hey Ash,” Roth says, bringing up the rear.
“Hey. You watching out for this one this summer?” She nods at Landon.
“I think Chloe’s got that covered.”
Ashley glances between Landon and me, her expression dropping. “Oh, are the two of you…”
Roth laughs. “Brother, sister, lovers. None of us are sure.”
Ashley’s face morphs into mortification, and I’m reduced to two inches tall.
Landon glares at Roth.
“What?” clueless Roth says.
Monica runs a hand over her cheek. “Um, Ash, we need to get back to the tent. Your parents wanted us back by two.”
“Oh, yeah,” Ashley says. “Well, it was nice to meet the two of you.”
“Yes, nice to meet you,” I say.
“Come say hi at the reunion,” Jenna says.
Ashley’s face brightens. “That’d be great.”
As they leave, I walk back to our spot and sit on my beach towel. I pull my cover-up back on, feeling a lot less confident than I was a few minutes ago.
“So that was your ex?” I ask.
He sits down next to me. “Yeah.”
“She seems nice.”
“Mmm hmm.” He stares down at his feet, which dig into the sand.
“And Monica? That’s her name, right?”
“Yeah,” he says with a worried expression.
I don’t want to be obvious, but I need to know what’s going on there. “So you two have been friends a long time?”
“Yeah. You know, I told you my family traveled down here every year when I was a kid. We always stayed at the resort where we live now, and Monica’s family did, too. Well, they owned the condo they stayed in. Anyway, our families started hanging out together while we were on vacation.”
“So is she visiting for the summer?” I ask.
“No, her parents divorced when we were kids. Her dad moved into their condo here full-time. She and her mother don’t get along well, so she moved here permanently the same year I did.”
Sounds like some coincidence.
“So you two have never dated?” I boldly ask.
He scrunches up his face. “No. I don’t see her that way.”
I can’t help a laugh. “If that’s true, you’re probably the only straight guy on the planet who doesn’t.”
He turns to me, his eyes narrowed. “What do you mean if that’s true?”
I cock my head to the side. “I didn’t mean it like that…like I don’t believe you. But…”
“But you don’t believe me.”
I clench my eyes shut as I beg myself to shut up, but the words topple off my tongue anyway. I motion down the beach. “Look at her. How could you not see her that way?”
He shakes his head, his eyebrows raised. “I don’t. And that’s the truth.” He looks me in the eye without a hint of wavering. I may be naïve, but I believe him.
I narrow my gaze at him, ready to lighten this mood. “Maybe you’re gay.”
; His face opens into a smile. “You think I’m gay.”
I shrug, pulling my knees toward my chest, because he’s moving toward me now, and I have a feeling I’m in for it. He tugs my knees down and flattens himself on top of me.
I glance around. “We’re like total PDA right now.”
“You asked if I was gay. I’m just answering you.” He kisses my neck.
“Okay, okay,” I say, and then settle into his kisses and the weight of him on top of me. “Or maybe I need a little more convincing.”
When we arrive home, Jenna gets in the shower. I wrap my cover-up tightly around me and wander downstairs.
I breeze by my dad’s office door, which is cracked. I stop in front of it. This is ridiculous. I’m tired of waiting around for him to grace me with his presence. I’m his daughter, dammit. I don’t think this unspoken arrangement is what the state of Tennessee had in mind when they mandated father/daughter time for us.
I let out a deep breath and knock.
“Yeah,” he says, not taking his eyes off his screen.
“Hey,” I say.
He turns with wide eyes. “Hey, honey. What’s up?”
“We never rescheduled our lunch,” I say.
He closes his eyes and runs his hands over his face. “Oh, geez, hun. I’m so sorry.” He considers me. “What about dinner? Are you babysitting tonight?”
“Actually, no.”
“Let’s do it.”
I can’t help a smile. “Okay. What time?”
He looks at his watch. “How about six o’clock? Does that give you enough time?”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you back down here.”
He nods and turns back to his computer. I’m both excited and nervous. My dad’s taking me out to dinner. This hasn’t happened in at least a year.
Now, I just have to think of a way to fill a couple of hours’ worth of conversation with him. No problem. Yeah.
The Summer Before Forever Page 19