"I never said I wouldn't try. I only said you weren't ready for a relationship."
"But that's enough to complicate—"
He squeezed her hand and when their gazes locked, he spoke softly. "Don't worry, if anything changes between us it will be a mutual decision. I'd never force anything on you simply because I have the advantage."
The sincerity in his eyes convinced her, but she let her gaze drop to where his hand rested over hers. Instinctively, she sensed she could trust him. Things had been different with Dennis. He'd charmed her with his good looks and glib words. Looking back at their relationship, Feechi realized his shallow personality had been obvious, but she'd been too taken with him to separate fantasy from reality.
Things were the same and yet different this time. There was more at stake. With Carsten, she wasn't sure she had control of her emotions and she hadn't known the man for a full month. The challenge facing her was that he fascinated her way more than she was willing to admit, which made him dangerous to her peace of mind.
Chapter 8
Two weeks later …
After a twenty-minute tour of the top floor of the building that housed Raimes Realty, and introductions to various staff members, Carsten and Feechi were back in his office.
"Apart from James and Manny, who you met at the auction, there's Laura who's been helping out, but really belongs to the real estate operation."
"I'm not sure if I'll need an assistant right away, but since you mentioned it … "
"I'll leave that decision to you and when you're ready, you can hire whoever you want."
She stared at him over the smooth slab of wood topped by glass that occupied the space between them.
"Just like that?"
He rested both elbows on the chair arms and met her eyes over his interlocked fingers. "Yes. You'll work better with whoever, if you choose them yourself."
She had to admire the way he thought. It made perfect sense, especially since she didn't know if she'd need an assistant anyway. She'd been used to assisting someone, so having anyone perform that role for her would take some adjustment.
Although the air conditioning was blasting at what felt like sub-zero temperature, Feechi's sweat glands were in overdrive.
What the heck did she just do? She was an impostor because she didn’t know a thing about managing anybody's business. In her safe little world at the shipping company, she knew what was required of her. Now, she'd gone and put her foot in it and there was no backing way after leaving her job and agreeing to work with Carsten.
Her boss had been disappointed that she'd resigned, but had wished her well. Crossing her fingers for luck, Feechi reassured herself everything would be okay. She raised her head to find Carsten watching her. Did he know what was going on in her mind?
"You're thinking too hard," he said, startling her. "I have every confidence you can manage this job. Admin Assistants are the lifeblood of offices and you were a great one. Consider this your chance to branch out and show what you're made of. It's a step up, but it's a small operation. You can do it."
How he knew what she was thinking she wasn't going to ask, and it didn't look like he was going to offer an explanation.
"You'll need to speak to accounts about your statutory details, but let's get down to business."
He picked up a file and flicked though it before handing it to her.
"I'd like to schedule our next auction. That's the lot listing. Some of the carpets are at the warehouse and the customs broker is working on clearing the rest of them. I'd like to set it up for two Thursdays from now at the Venetian."
She wanted to ask whether he expected her to coordinate everything without any help, but her objection dried up in her throat when he stared at her over the desk.
No way was she going to have him think she couldn't manage, or was overwhelmed before she started.
A smile spread over his face and she blinked when she realized it was directed at her. "What?"
"You'll be fine. If you run into any problems, I'll be around and if not, my cell is on most of the time."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How d'you manage so many things? Real estate, the auctions and trucking … "
"Manage is the operative word. I hire competent people to do just that, which leaves me time to concentrate on the things that need my attention."
"Makes sense."
She got to her feet, and dropped her handbag over her shoulder. On reaching the door, she turned back to him. "Thanks. I appreciate you giving me this opportunity."
"You're welcome."
She murmured goodbye to Carsten's assistant, hurried through the glass doors and down the hallway. That's when she let her breath out and dragged a hand across her forehead.
Dressed in a cream suit with matching rust heels and handbag, she looked confident. On the inside, she felt like a scam artist.
Putting that thought aside, she entered her new office and shut the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, absorbing her space.
The room was small, but with enough space for her to move around with ease. The desk and cupboard came from matching wood which complemented the tan blinds and filing cabinets.
A scan of the desk reassured her that she had everything she'd need to do her job. Phone, desktop computer and multi-function printer.
She sat behind the desk and wheeled the chair forward. Then, she opened the file Carsten had given her and rooted through the drawers until she found a notepad.
Within forty minutes, she'd made a list of everything she'd need for the auction. She chewed the tip of her pen and then wrote a question sign beside auctioneer. Another look around the office revealed an index card holder, which she suspected held telephone numbers. Rather than bother Carsten, she searched though until she came across two names with auctioneer under them. She added those to her list and sat back for a breather, admitting she wasn't as lost as she'd felt earlier.
The growl from her stomach and a glance at her watch told her it was half past one and time to eat. Since the office was in the business district, she didn't need to go far for lunch. She got her purse and rode the elevator to street level. Other workers were on the same errand as she and a two-minute walk down the sidewalk brought her to a deli, where she bought a sandwich and was back in the building in ten minutes.
Although Carsten told her where the lunchroom was located, she didn't feel like venturing there on her first day, so she ate her ham and cheese sandwich behind her desk and washed it down with orange juice.
After lunch, she concentrated on familiarizing herself with the files in the cabinets. Those would help her to organize her first auction.
Hours later, a tap came at the door but she couldn't see who it was despite the glass on both sides of the entrance.
"Come in," she called.
Carsten stood in the doorway, smiling. "You do know we knock off at five, right?"
"What time is it?" she asked, bringing her wrist within her line of sight. It was twenty past the hour. When he didn't answer, she added, "I guess I got caught up in these files."
He stepped inside and put a small box on the desk. "This is for you to use. Can't have you racking up expenses on yours."
The high-end cellular shocked her, but she didn't react as Carsten continued speaking. "The guy we use for IT should have called you with your email address and such."
"He did. Thanks."
"Also, you should have some business cards by the end of the day tomorrow."
"That's quick."
He flashed a smile that she returned.
"A good employer gives you everything you need to succeed."
"I can't argue with that," she said.
He turned toward the door and gripped the handle. "It's your first day so don't stay too long."
"I'm going to pack up now."
"You have a ride?"
"Yes, I do. I got the car back."
"Good. Se
e you tomorrow."
He closed the door behind him and in her mind, she pictured him—pale blue shirt, navy tie and pants. Today, he'd been all business, which made her respect him even more.
As she picked up the box with the phone and stuck it in her bag, she wondered if she hadn't made a mistake and was now losing out on a great guy by swapping his offer to date him for a job and security.
Feechi let her gaze roam over her mother's cluttered kitchen where they sat having dinner. They had spent many hours at the dinette for four during their adolescent years. Even in adulthood, the familiar Formica cupboards and crowded countertops were a regular feature of their lives.
Maxine Anoduro's eyes shone with curiosity across the table, but she swallowed a mouthful of corned beef and macaroni before continuing her inquisition. "So anything exciting happened on your first day?"
Feechi let her gaze slide sideways to Dee, who also wore work clothes. "You've been at it again, haven't you?"
Dee shrugged and then laughed. "I couldn't help myself. You're seeing the man you went out with a couple of weeks ago, so that's noteworthy."
"The man in question is now my boss."
Dee stopped moving with her fork halfway to her mouth. "So? You've never heard about office romances?"
"Can I go watch television?" Jack asked.
Feechi made sure his plate was empty before nodding. "Sure. Just don't turn it up too loud."
"I won't."
She watched him go and then turned her head in time to see the glance exchanged by her mother and sister.
"For your information, Carsten and I agreed there will be no romance while I'm working for him."
Her sister smiled in a way that annoyed her.
"What's that smirk all about?"
Dee whisked the locks off her shoulder and rolled them into a bun. "I'm not smirking, I'm just wondering which of the two of you is crazier than the other."
"Like I said, we agreed to put the personal side of things on hold for now."
"You meet a man who looks like he could set a tub of dry ice on fire, because he's that hot, and you're postponing what you could have with him?"
"A relationship isn't everything."
"Says you."
"I'm fine as I am and despite what you think, I don't need a man."
"I never said you did."
"You just keep implying it at every turn."
Dee laughed along with their mother. "All I'm saying is that you need to live a little."
Feechi cracked a smile. "You don't know how right you are. On what Carsten is paying me, I'll be able to do so much for Jack."
She launched into all the things she had on her wish list until her mother and sister's eyes met.
"What?"
Her mother wrapped her hand around Feechi's arm. "It's just that you haven't said anything about what you want to do for yourself."
Feechi shrugged. "I don't need anything. Really."
"That's the thing," her mother said leaning back. "Many of us, once we start having children, forget we also have needs, and everything we do is for and about our kids."
"I don't mind."
"Nor did I when I was taking care of the two of you, but honey, I worry about you."
"Mom, I'm perfectly all right."
"I know that, but there's so much more to life than going to work, providing for Jack and doing the same thing all day every day."
Feechi propped her elbow on the table and rested her cheek on her hand, while Dee crammed her face with a forkful of rice.
"How come you don't hassle her with this stuff."
"Dee's okay, she's doesn't have … " Her mother stopped as if weighing her words. "The baggage that you do."
"Between the two of you, I don't know who is worse," Feechi said.
Her mother stroked her hair and smiled gently. "I wouldn't worry about you so much if I thought you were over that user, Dennis."
"Mom, trust me, Dennis has nothing to do with the way I live my life."
Her mother's steady gaze wore Feechi down.
"Maybe a little bit," she mumbled.
When the older woman wouldn't look away, Feechi sighed.
"Okay, more than a little bit."
"I'm your mother, I know you better than you think. You can't allow one bad experience to color … " Here, she smiled faintly. "Your non-existent relationships."
"Okay, fine. I admit I've stayed by myself because life is a lot simpler if it's not complicated by a man, but I don't feel as if I lack anything."
"How are you going to know if you don't give anybody a chance?"
"It's weird, but you keep bugging me about what I don't have, yet you're in the same space. Since our father, there hasn't been anybody else."
"As you well know, your father was the best and worst thing that happened to me." She drank from her glass of water before she spoke again. "Some roads, you're wise not to venture down twice."
Kenneth Anoduro was little more than a dim memory for Feechi. She equated him with laughter and loud talking.
According to her mother, she'd met him at university and had fallen for him in little more than a month. Two children and too much responsibility later, he'd disappeared. And as Feechi liked to think, he left belaboring his daughters with weird first names and all of them with an almost unpronounceable last name, and not much else.
She'd felt like a fool when she fell for the same kind of sweet talker, but that was in her past. She'd made her mistake early in life and didn't intend to take that route again. Her thoughts dissipated when Dee tapped the tabletop.
"Well, I think there's something between you and Carsten and the two of you are fooling yourselves if you think you can ignore it for long."
"Put it this way," Feechi said. "I may agree with you, but for now Carsten is my employer and I certainly don't plan to mix things up."
"Yeah, well, you know what they say about the best laid plans and all of that."
"True," their mother added. "Destiny will not be denied, no matter how hard you run from it."
Feechi couldn't help rolling her eyes. "For right now, my destiny is to earn some of that money he's paying me by doing a good job. Plus, I can get Jack that bicycle—"
"There you go again," Dee quipped.
"He's the most important thing in my life."
"And there's nothing wrong with that. I just wish you'd open your eyes and see what I see."
Chuckling, Feechi leaned on her elbows. "And what d'you see, little sister?"
"I see a guy who likes you, but it's anybody's guess if you'll ever get together, since dunsai is more important to you than love."
That made Feechi laugh out loud. "Where on earth did you come up with that term? If you had any responsibility you'd know how important dunsai or money is to me."
"It makes a poor substitute for a good man."
"I won't argue with that," their mother added.
Feechi didn't respond, but reinforced in her mind how much good she could do with the increase that had come her way. She'd done without a man for seven years and didn't see her situation changing this minute.
Carsten's words came back to her and she narrowed her eyes.
" … I find you attractive, but I also know you're nowhere ready for a relationship with anybody."
"What's the matter?" her mother asked.
Feechi shook her head. "Nothing much, just something I remembered."
With those words, she shut down her thoughts. It didn't make sense taking her mind where her heart wasn't ready to go.
Chapter 9
Feechi waited until Carsten sat in front of her desk before continuing with her update.
"The auctioneer you recommended from the two I found confirmed his availability today, so everything is set for next week."
"Sounds like you have everything covered," Carsten said.
Feechi couldn't help the smile that came to her face. "Yes, the hardest part was tying down your man."
"Ro
n is a busy guy, which makes him very hard to connect with."
Carsten rubbed his eyes and stifled a yawn. "So, how are things treating you otherwise?"
"It's been interesting so far and the people here seem like they get along well."
"They're handpicked because I spend a fair amount of time overseas." He tipped his head forward. "I wouldn't want to know the ship is in danger of sinking every time I step away."
"You do put a lot of emphasis on the people who work for you."
"They keep the business running, so yes, it's in my interest to gather the best team and keep them happy."
She hoped her approval wasn't plastered on her face. Apart from him saying the right things, she was impressed by him coming to see her, rather than sending for her. Being in what was quickly becoming her own comfortable space made it easier to face and interact with him.
The jacket and tie he wore made him seem formal and distant, but no less attractive. Their eyes met and she wondered if he sensed her thoughts.
His half-smile was something she wasn't ready for, given the sharp breath she drew. To disguise her discomfort she let her gaze drift to the computer screen to her left.
Carsten's silence made her uncomfortable and she hoped he'd leave soon.
His phone rang and he picked it up off the desk where he'd placed it when he sat down. He raised a finger, which she took to mean he was asking for a minute.
She'd have felt better if he left, but she dipped her head to let him know she was okay with waiting.
While he had a discussion about a shipment with someone she guessed might be his broker, she checked her email.
His voice drifted over her, like a soothing caress that made her want to get closer to him, maybe with her cheek pressed against his skin where she could feel the rumble of his voice in his chest.
Startled by her thoughts, her gaze went to him.
He returned her stare while laughing at something the person on the phone said, and she had the feeling she was seeing him for the first time, which was ridiculous.
As if he guessed what she was thinking, his gaze turned analytical.
Sold!: A Holiday Romance Page 6