"I don’t want you to be anyone else but who you are."
"Then why are you asking me these things?"
"I just want to find out where your head is at."
"Where my head is at?" She sucked her teeth, more than a little offended. "I could ask the same questions of you. I don't know that you have any friends or whether you have people you lean on in a crunch."
"Good observations. There's Marlon. He's a friend—"
"Correction. He's a business associate."
"He was a friend before that, plus I have lots of other friends I haven't introduced you to as yet."
"So you say. And what about your support system?"
"I have a whole team at work, which includes you and there's my family."
Feechi picked up her drink and sipped from it, savoring the tanginess. She didn't know what to say, but felt something had shifted and she wasn't sure what. Her gaze fell on the abandoned glass of fruit juice and she got a packet of wet wipes from her purse.
"Jack, come here."
He came to the table with Max close behind and sat long enough to finish the drink and allow her to wipe his hands.
"I hope you're hungry," Carsten said, "because the food here is great."
"I ate at Grandma today, but I'm hungry again."
"Good, you'll enjoy it then."
"Can I get some water for Max?" Jack asked.
"Of course."
Carsten motioned to their waiter and shortly afterward, Max was drinking from a small container of water. When he finished, he made a direct path for Carsten's loafers and spread himself over them. His body was a beige blur through the opaque glass of the tabletop.
Jack leaned sideways and came up grinning. "Max likes your feet."
"So I realize."
While Carsten and Jack chatted, Feechi surveyed the city below. By focusing hard, she picked out several landmarks but took no pleasure in that activity.
Without giving away her interest in their conversation, Feechi tuned back in to Carsten and Jack's discussion. Carsten was sharing what his family did at Christmastime, while Jack listened with stars in his eyes.
That jerked Feechi awake and silently, she accused Carsten with her gaze. Why was he getting Jack excited about experiences he probably wouldn't have?
She still wasn't sure what Carsten was up to, but knew it wouldn't lead to anything she'd like or find agreeable.
Chapter 19
"I've heard a little about you, but wanted to meet you. We're so glad Carsten brought you with him."
"I'm happy we're here," Feechi said as Carsten's mother hugged her.
The older woman stepped away and gripped Carsten's father by the arm. "This is Stuart."
His eyes sparkled and the smile he directed at Feechi had her glancing sideways at Carsten. The man in front of her was a replica of the one who stood at her side, except for the gray sprinkled generously in his hair and the lines around his eyes and mouth. Even their skin color was the same.
"Strong genes," he said, as his smiled again and shook her hand. "Good to meet you."
"You're obviously used to getting a certain reaction," Feechi said, while looking back and forth between the two men. "Please excuse my bad manners."
"It's quite all right. There's no need to apologize." His attention shifted to Jack, who stood with Carsten.
"This is my son," Feechi said, reaching for Jack.
He stepped forward with his hand held out, copying Stuart's posture. "I'm Jaquan," he said, "but everybody calls me Jack."
Stuart shook hands with Jack and bent over to speak to him.
Meantime, Carsten's mother, or Faith as she insisted on Feechi calling her, took her by the arm and led her into their house. The entryway opened into a living space bracketed by massive bay windows. Giant sofas were spread around the room and Feechi was sure the flat screen television hanging on the wall was at least the size of a pool table.
Faith linked Feechi's arm with hers and rested a hand on Jack's shoulder, while walking them toward another door, which opened on to the back of the house.
After crossing a patch of grass broken by a flagstone path, Feechi stared at the landscape stretching for miles around them.
"Wow!"
Jack's favorite expression was fitting for the breathtaking scenery.
"Ditto." Feechi glanced sideways at Faith. "I bet you never get tired of this view."
Carsten's parents wore matching pale-blue shirts, which Feechi thought was cute, if an older couple could be described as such. Her mind came back to the conversation when Stuart hugged Faith. "The view is why we bought the house. Faith fell in love with it and wouldn't hear of us living anywhere else."
"That's the truth," Faith said, waving one arm over the banister. "You can't be stressed or unhappy for long with a view like that."
"Hey, big brother."
The greeting came from behind them and when Feechi turned, she was greeted by a feminine version of Carsten, who hugged him around the waist. She was pretty with short hair she'd slicked back on her head. Her casual shorts and tee-shirt made Feechi wonder if she lived in the house or close by.
She waved at Feechi and then looked up at Carsten. "When did you get here?"
Carsten craned his neck around her and instead of answering her question asked one of his own. "Where's Ricky?"
"Upstairs, but he'll be down in a minute." She tipped her head back. "So do I have to beg for an introduction?"
Holding out one hand, Feechi said, "I'm Feechi, and you are?"
"Janelle." She mock glared at Carsten. "It's great to meet you. Carsten is so secretive, it's a wonder he took you to meet us."
"Don't start," he said, chuckling.
"It's true, you keep everything—"
"Children," Faith intervened, "we have visitors."
While Jack giggled, Feechi bit one corner of her lip to prevent herself from laughing out loud. Faith's warning reminded her of the times they got out of hand at the dinner table and their mother had to reel them back in.
"Would you like to freshen up, Feechi? We're going to have lunch in a few minutes," Faith said.
"Yes, thanks."
"Come with me."
Feechi called Jack, who was sitting between Carsten and his father, facing the valley.
"We'll be back in no time," she said, sensing Jack's reluctance to leave the yard.
They followed Faith into the house, to a small bathroom decorated in pale peach.
As she left them, Faith motioned to the right. "Take your time. Janelle and I will be in the kitchen."
Feechi allowed Jack to use the bathroom and wash his hands ahead of her. After warning him to behave, she watched him trotting across the living room and with the door closed, she examined her reflection and relaxed her shoulders.
She'd been tense after that conversation with Carsten last Sunday and was almost relieved when, in the middle of the week, they'd gone to his place and he invited her to visit his parents in Montego Bay.
The visit with him had been interesting and came at a time when she was wondering why he hadn't invited her as yet. His home suited him—spacious with heavy furniture and decorated in varying shades of brown. Without being told, Feechi knew the artwork and carpets were pricey. Yet Carsten didn't make her feel uncomfortable or act as if his surroundings were out of the ordinary.
He'd easily persuaded her to make the trip with him. She didn't want to believe the visit was a test and had anything to do with his accusation about how she chose to live her life. Still, she couldn't get past the feeling Carsten had something going on which he was keeping to himself.
The drive to MoBay was pleasant and she hoped things would remain that way. So far, Carsten's family seemed open and friendly and she didn't feel pressured. She gathered the hair at the back of her neck in a bun and put a smile on her face. She had nothing to worry about. With that reassurance she went to the kitchen, where Faith was filling a dish with gravy and giving orders to Janelle.
"Can I help with anything?"
"Sure, why don't you help Janelle carry the dishes to the table?"
After picking up a bowl of rice and peas, Feechi followed the slender woman toward a full-grown poui tree where a picnic table was spread with a white tablecloth.
A boy who resembled Janelle and had her caramel complexion, stood beside Jack, similarly dressed in jeans and polo shirt. The child she assumed to be Ricky pointed at something, while Jack squinted in the same direction. They moved farther away from the adults, and Feechi pulled in a breath which she let out when her eyes met Carsten's.
Her nostrils flared at the touch of amusement in his eyes, but she relaxed once she realized Janelle was also focused on the boys.
She placed the bowl where Janelle indicated and after several more trips between kitchen and table, Feechi sat across the table from Carsten's brother and his fiancée. Gordon and Caroline arrived when they brought out the final set of dishes. Faith fussed over them, and after they met Feechi and Jack, Stuart said grace and the family passed the food around until all plates were full.
Feechi was seated next to Ricky, and Janelle sat beside Jack, with Carsten positioned between the two boys. She met Carsten's eyes over Ricky's head at the same time Janelle leaned forward to look at her son.
Although Carsten didn't say anything, his smile said everything.
Feechi sent a bright smile his way, while hiding the faint anxiety clinging to her. She couldn't say why she was uneasy, but because her gaze kept going to Jack, she understood the reason Carsten had seated them this way, aided by his mother.
"So where has my brother been hiding you?" Gordon asked.
He too resembled Carsten and his father, but had his mother's slightly darker skin.
Feeling as if she were under a spotlight, Feechi shifted in the chair. "I wouldn't say that's the case. We haven't—"
"Mind your own business," Carsten said, which had Caroline laughing. "He's only three years older than I am, but thinks he's the boss. Always has."
"Always will," Janelle chipped in. "Until Richard's home, that is. He's the real boss."
"Richard is my eldest son," Faith said. "He's with his wife's family today in Portland. They'll be with us for Christmas. You should come with Carsten for Christmas dinner."
Stuart gripped his wife's hand. "I'm sure Feechi already made plans with her family for Christmas."
Carsten's gaze was hopeful, but Feechi shook her head. "Your father's right. We'll be with Mom and Dee."
She explained to the others that Dee was her sister.
"There'll be other times, I'm sure," Gordon said, putting an arm around his fiancée's shoulder.
Caroline grabbed his fingers and kissed his cheek, leaving Feechi longing for something she didn't know she was missing. She also wasn't sure if Gordon expected an answer, and having none to give him, since Carsten had been in this strange mood lately, she picked up her fork and put a sliver of roast pork into her mouth.
The spread of chicken, fish, pork and curry goat was more than she was used to having all at once and reminded her how different things would be for them this year, thanks to Carsten. The man had made a huge difference in a small timeslot.
She listened to the family teasing each other, thinking she'd be more open if her life had been different and her worries were fewer.
Carsten hadn't given her any reason not to trust him and had been a solid presence since he entered her life, so why she couldn't relax and enjoy being with him? She needed to find answers and get in line with where their relationship was headed.
Jack was having a great time, leaning backward and forward from time to time while talking with Ricky, based on Carsten's position between them. Meanwhile, Carsten brushed off Feechi and Janelle's concerns about them talking with food in their mouths. He claimed the boys were perfectly all right and should be left to enjoy each other's company without their mothers interfering.
By the time everybody had slices of dark fruit cake in front of them, Feechi was stuffed full. She begged Faith to let her help with cleaning up since she'd fall asleep if she sat around talking.
Caroline, tall and regal in an African-print dress, also helped Faith and Janelle to clear the table and wash the dishes. The rest of the afternoon went by in a leisurely way and when it was time to leave, Feechi and Jack were hugged, kissed and invited to come back before the year ended.
On their way back to Kingston, Feechi wanted to squirm when she remembered her reaction to Carsten telling Jack how his family celebrated the holidays. As if he picked up on her thoughts, he reached for her hand. "I knew my family would like you and Jack."
"They're nice to be around."
"Yes, despite what you thought," he said, lowering his voice.
"You didn't know what I was thinking."
He glanced at her. "You didn't have to explain anything. You're reluctance to go said it all."
"It was fun," Jack said from the back seat. He yawned, drooping sideways.
A moment later, Carsten stopped the SUV and watched while she helped Jack get more comfortable. When she thought he was asleep, she touched Carsten's arm.
"Thanks for taking me to meet them. I appreciate it."
"But?"
"Why does there have to be a but?"
"I know you a little better than that by now."
He didn't offer an explanation, but for Feechi the magic had gone out of the day. She had hoped he'd be immune to her anxiety, but should have known better. After she stole another look at him, she said, "Tomorrow's the next auction. Will you be there?"
A moment slipped by before he answered. "I don't think so."
She swallowed her disappointment and was about to speak again when he stopped her.
"I don't want to talk about work. You're more than capable, so let's leave the job at the office."
She was slightly insulted, but didn't react. The big band music flowing through the speakers helped her relax as she stared through the windscreen and soon her eyelids grew heavy and she dozed.
Hours later when they pulled into her driveway, Carsten lifted Jack from the van and laid him on the sofa before saying goodnight.
Despite spending the day with him, the trip left her wanting more of Carsten's company, but other than studying her closely and kissing her deeply, he said nothing about tomorrow or any other day, as he normally would have.
His mysterious silence left her unsettled. She wondered if she'd brought her imaginings to reality and killed her chances with him.
Chapter 20
From the way he was dressed, Carsten had been to a meeting. One thing she'd learned about him was that he couldn’t stand being confined in formal clothes while moving from place to place in the sunshine.
For what felt like several minutes, he stood behind the door watching her. Then he took off his jacket and set it over the back of one of the visitor's chairs before letting his gaze travel over her.
She looked good in pink and the suit she'd chosen today was attractive and professional, falling lightly against her curves. The black heels were a tad higher than those she usually wore, but today she needed them to complete her image.
Yesterday's conversation with Carsten had jolted her and since then, she'd prepared herself for whatever was to come. Dressing up had boosted her confidence and now she was happy she'd done so.
Yesterday, they didn't have the chance to finish their conversation with Jack in the vehicle and she resented Carsten for spoiling what would have been a fitting end to a beautiful day.
Now, she'd gotten to the point where she was prepared to tell him off. If he had something to say, it didn't do either of them any good for him to be avoiding the issue, whatever it was.
He'd come into her office a couple of minutes ago, asked if he could sit, and now she was waiting for him to say whatever the heck was on his mind.
For the first time since they'd known each other, he wouldn't meet her eyes. He shifted in the chair, clear
ly uncomfortable.
Fed up with whatsoever he had going on, she snapped. "What is it? I know something's wrong, so you might as well say what's on your mind."
Carsten breathed in deeply and held her in an eyelock. "I'm going abroad for a while."
His words had the effect of a blow to the stomach, but she stayed motionless refusing to give him a reaction. When the chills stopped rippling over her skin she said, "Why didn’t you tell me yesterday?"
"The time wasn't right and with Jack and my family—"
"Poor excuse, they weren't with us every minute of the evening."
"I wanted time to explain why—"
"Don't bother."
"You don't understand. This isn't what you think."
"With all due respect, Carsten, you don't have a clue what I'm thinking. You've analyzed me enough over the past week and I'm sick of it."
"Well, why didn't you say something then?"
"I could use the same silly excuse you just did, but I won't."
Carsten rubbed his face with both hands, which seemed to take at least an hour, before meeting her eyes again. By this time, she was in the process of shutting down. She read what Carsten was doing as a rejection of her. That was a simple fact, which needed no explanation, which would be a waste of her time anyhow. The quicker she got him out of her office, the better.
Dennis had done the same thing, wriggling out of their relationship by telling her he was going to take another position and finish his internship overseas. This, immediately after he'd gotten the recommendation he'd been craving from the doctor she'd introduced him to at the clinic.
His actions had cut her deeper than she'd ever told her mother or Dee. He'd been her first love and she believed he'd loved her—until she realized he'd only been using her.
Why on earth had Carsten taken her to meet his family if he didn't intend to stay with her? Tears stung her eyes and she blinked a few times. There was no way she'd give Carsten the satisfaction of making her cry. This scenario was exactly why she'd refused to get involved with anybody since Dennis. She didn't think she could go through that again and come out sane.
Sold!: A Holiday Romance Page 13