‘You mean the dancing,’ he said flatly.
‘Yes, the dancing was one, but there were others, like going on holiday, spending time with my friends. You were only interested in what you wanted to do.’ Judgmental and self-absorbed, Paul was the exact opposite of Seb, who’d left a life he loved in Australia because his dad was ill. Who’d put his heart and soul into helping the kids at the youth centre. Who’d been there for her, unasked, when Tabby had been in hospital.
Yet none of that meant Seb was any readier to be a father or a husband, than Paul had been. He was unselfish, yes, but he was also untamed.
Paul stared at her with a pained expression. ‘I thought you liked what I wanted.’
‘I liked pleasing you, yes.’ She looked at him sadly. ‘But our marriage didn’t work because you didn’t feel the same way.’ Her eyes searched his. ‘And if you’re not prepared to put Isabelle first now, to do things to please her, then it’s not fair to marry her.’
Paul clasped his hand over hers, his face sombre. ‘I hear you.’
At that moment the door opened, and Maggie looked up with a start to see Seb standing in the doorway. His gaze jumped from where she had her hand in Paul’s, to her face. Hurt flashed in his eyes before he looked away. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.’
Maggie disengaged her hand and rose to her feet. ‘You weren’t interrupting anything.’
He nodded, but wouldn’t meet her eyes. ‘I came to tell you they’re ready to announce the winners. Thought you might like to watch.’
Paul stood too. ‘Reckon you’re going to win, do you?’
‘I know we’re not,’ Seb countered mildly. ‘I’d already agreed with Belinda that we wouldn’t put our dance towards the vote. It didn’t seem fair, me being the organiser.’ His gaze strayed to her. ‘But Maggie still has a chance at best overall dancer.’
Seb’s tone, so formal, didn’t sit with the man she knew, and she worried that it wasn’t because of Paul’s presence, but because of what he thought he’d seen. ‘I didn’t realise there was an individual category.’
‘Belinda and I discussed it this morning.’ His gaze pinned hers. ‘I didn’t want you to lose out on the chance of picking up a glitter ball.’
Her eyes widened. ‘You got glitter balls?’
Finally he smiled, just a small lift of his mouth, but his eyes blazed with affection. ‘You told me you wanted to win one. This might be your best shot.’
The conversation with Paul was forgotten. ‘Then what are we waiting for?’
Seb couldn’t get the image of Maggie holding hands with Paul out of his head. Logically he knew what he’d seen hadn’t been sexual. It was nothing more than Maggie showing compassion to a man she’d shared her life with. Still shared her children with.
Fuck, it hurt though. If he couldn’t cope seeing her with Paul, a man who’d hurt her, how could he cope knowing she was with a man who might actually deserve her?
But that was for the future, and he wasn’t a guy who dwelled too long on that. Now was more important, because in reality, that was all anyone had.
And for now, he had Maggie.
‘God, I can’t believe how nervous I am.’ Maggie, her hand holding his tightly, gave him a wry smile.
They were standing with the rest of the contestants at the side of the small stage. Winston, very dramatically, opened an envelope containing the list of winners. Seb didn’t know who’d been chosen because he’d asked not to be involved, figuring then nobody could say the results were rigged.
Best dance couple in the over-sixties… wasn’t Pauline and Shirley.
Pauline sighed, but Shirley waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. ‘Blah, what do the judges know. We were fabulous, dear.’
Seb laughed, giving them both a hug. ‘If it helps, you had my vote.’
Best dance couple in the adult category was a couple with no connection to the centre.
‘Should have been you,’ Shirley said to Maggie, rather too loudly. Seb couldn’t help but agree, but please God Maggie would get her glitter ball anyway.
Best dance couple in the youth category went to… Kiara and Zayne.
Seb’s chest filled with pride as the pair of them giggled their way onto the stage to collect their glitter ball – okay, it was more tennis ball than the football-sized one on Strictly, but his budget was considerably smaller. In front of him, Hayley clapped vigorously and Rylan, well, at least he clapped.
‘Bummer it wasn’t us,’ she told Rylan, ‘but they were good.’
‘Never mind, babe, we’ll win it next year.’ Rylan turned round and cocked a brow at Seb. ‘We’re doing it again, yeah?’
Seb shrugged. ‘That’s not going to be up to me.’ He glanced from Rylan to Hayley, and warmth seeped through his chest. ‘But you two should keep up the lessons. You make a great pair.’
‘If this guy had sussed that sooner,’ Hayley replied, nudging Rylan, ‘we’d have aced it today.’ Then, clearly only just realising what he’d said, she frowned at Seb. ‘Why isn’t it up to you? You’re still gonna be here, yeah?’
Ah. Seb was saved an awkward reply when Winston stepped back up to the microphone. ‘And now, the award to beat all awards.’ He raised the glitter ball trophy – soft-ball sized, he’d gone all out on this one. ‘This one is for the best dancer of the evening. And it goes to… Maggie Peterson.’
As joy and pride flowed through him in equal measure, he turned to Maggie, expecting to find her face wreathed in smiles. Instead she looked… frozen. ‘Mags?’ Her eyes were glazed, her expression blank. ‘Your glitter ball is waiting for you.’
‘My… what?’
He couldn’t work out what was wrong with her. ‘Your trophy.’ He waved towards the stage. ‘Go, pick it up. Winston’s waiting for you.’
‘Oh, I won?’
Was it the shock of winning? Something had scrambled her usually razor-sharp brain.
With the help of Pauline and Shirley, they pushed Maggie towards the stage. Whatever it was that had spooked her, she recovered sufficiently to give him a smile when she put her hands on the glitter ball.
Maggie was quiet when they arrived back at her house. Seb left her to take the exhausted Penny and Tabby upstairs to bed, and when she came back down he patted the space next to him on the sofa. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Of course.’ He loved to see her smile, but now it seemed forced. ‘I could ask the same of you.’
‘Me?’ he asked, surprised.
‘Paul opened up to me today. He admitted he wasn’t ready to be a husband or a father.’ She turned to face him. ‘What you saw was me—’
‘Comforting him,’ Seb interjected.
‘If you knew that, then why did you act so weird? I thought maybe you were jealous.’ Her gaze dropped away from his. ‘Now I feel stupid.’
‘Are you crazy? Of course I was jealous.’ He wrapped her up in his arms. ‘I hated seeing you with him. I want to be the only one holding your hands, talking that intimately to you.’
‘It wasn’t intimate.’ Her voice was muffled against his chest. ‘Not in the way you mean.’
‘But you were sharing feelings.’ And that had hurt. She and Paul shared a history, children. It made his few months with her appear insignificant, even though how he felt couldn’t be more significant. ‘Look, can we forget about him now? Focus on you and me.’ He lifted her chin so he could look directly into her eyes. ‘And the fact that we’ve got the whole night together?’
‘The whole night?’ She glanced down at her watch. ‘It’s ten o’clock already.’
He dipped his head to kiss her, feeling the spark shoot through his body the moment their lips touched. ‘You’d be amazed what I can do in the time that’s left to us.’
Her eyes turned smokey. ‘Then I look forward to being amazed.’
It was only as his mouth descended greedily on hers that he remembered he hadn’t got to the bottom of what had been troubling her earlier. The way she responded though
, the way she shifted so she was sitting astride him, her hands in his hair, her body hot and needy over his, suggested it was no longer important.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Maggie woke to the sound of the bathroom door being slammed shut.
Tabby.
Her youngest daughter hadn’t learned the art of being careful about anything.
Beside her, Seb let out a muffled sound, his arm tightening around her.
And Maggie stilled.
He was still here. In her bed. And Tabby was already awake.
Logically it wasn’t that big a deal. The girls had seen him around her. He’d held her hand in front of them. Him staying over was simply the next step.
Except yesterday he’d told Rylan that running the competition again next year wouldn’t be up to him. Not yeah, let’s do it, or even we’ve got to see what the boss says. Seb wasn’t careful about his words, so the only explanation for why the youth centre holding a competition again next year wouldn’t be up to him was because he wouldn’t be there.
The hurt she’d felt yesterday burned again and no, it didn’t help that Seb leaving had been inevitable. A foolish part of her had held out hope, and now that hope had been snatched away.
Seb shifted, moving closer. ‘Umm, warm, soft.’ His nose nuzzled her neck. ‘Smells like roses.’ He let out a long, sleepy sigh. ‘This is how I want to wake up every morning.’
Until you leave. The thought made her stiffen, which in turn woke Seb properly. Propping himself up on his elbow, blue eyes as dreamy as a summer’s day, he gazed down at her. ‘Morning.’ He gave her an easy smile, but as his eyes took her in, his expression changed to worry. ‘Crap, I forgot to set the alarm last night.’
‘It’s okay.’ But it wasn’t, because there was no next step for them. Not now he would be leaving. ‘Tabby’s in the bathroom.’
He sat up, the muscles of his chest sliding over each other. ‘What do you want me to do?’
‘If I distract her when she comes out, could you…’ She trailed off, because sneak out sounded awful.
‘Could I creep out of your room and out of your house, like a… trespasser? An uninvited guest?’
She didn’t need to look into his eyes to see he was hurt. The way he flung the covers back, walked stiffly to his jeans and yanked them on, said it all.
‘I’m sorry.’
He nodded, but she could tell from his tight expression he was still upset. ‘You really think Tabby would care if she walked in and saw me in bed with you?’
Tabby no. Penny would have questions, and Maggie didn’t have the answers for her. ‘This isn’t about how they might feel now. It’s about protecting them.’
He thrust his T-shirt over his head. ‘Protecting them? From what?’
‘From heartache.’ She’d failed to do it for herself, but by God she was determined to do it for them. She knew what it was like to have parents who didn’t look out for you. She would always be there for her daughters, always.
Picking up his shoes, he stared at her, his expression not just confused, but crushed. ‘You think I’d hurt them? Hurt you?’ They heard the toilet flush in the family bathroom, and Seb sighed. ‘Go, do what you need to do. I’ll be gone when you come back.’
His unhappiness was clear and her heart tugged painfully. Yet much as he cared for them all, perhaps even loved them, to some degree, he wasn’t going to be sticking around. He was going to hurt them, however unintentionally.
So she swallowed down the words she wanted to say. Stay. Have breakfast with us. Spend the day with us.
Instead she walked out to find Tabby.
Later that day, she met Alice and her kids for lunch in the park.
‘Have you and Seb fallen out?’ Alice asked as they lingered over a coffee in the warmth of the café, the kids now blowing off steam in the playground outside.
This, she thought, taking a deliberate sip of her coffee. It was exactly what she’d been afraid of. Was Alice asking as her friend, or as Seb’s sister? ‘Why?’
‘Because he popped round to ours this morning and looked really out of sorts. Upset, I think. I wasn’t sure if you’d had a tiff, or if it was these calls he keeps getting from Australia.’
Maggie clutched onto the mug, dread pooling inside her. ‘What calls?’
Alice’s look was full of sympathy. ‘He hasn’t said anything to you?’
‘No.’ Had he been too afraid of her reaction? Worried she’d cling to him and beg him to stay? Or had he just not thought it was important enough, considering he’d always planned to go back?
‘Well, if it’s any consolation, he hasn’t said anything to me, either. It’s just Sarah mentioned she’d overheard him talking about meeting up with some guy called Bruce, and I know he took another call this morning from him because he said his name when he answered. Before sloping out of the kitchen.’ Alice toyed with her coffee cup. ‘I also heard him talking to someone at the youth centre. It sounded like he’d handed his notice in, but I couldn’t be sure. I tried to listen in, as any nosey big sister would, but it was hard to make much out.’ She glanced up at Maggie. ‘Might be that Bruce is coming over here. And I totally misheard the other conversation.’
‘Maybe.’ Maggie fought to speak past the tightness in her throat.
Alice exhaled heavily. ‘This thing between you and Seb, it’s not the neat and tidy fun affair you wanted it to be, is it?’
As understatements went, it was a beauty. ‘It’s not, no.’
‘More a messy, tangled, steaming emotional cowpat?’
Maggie looked at Alice, at the sympathy in her eyes, the concern, and managed a strangled laugh. ‘God, Alice, what have I done?’
Alice slid an arm around her. ‘You’ve opened a heart that had been closed for too long.’ She squeezed her. ‘But that’s a good thing. It means you’ve avoided becoming a bitter, wronged woman. In fact, judging from last night, you’ve become a sexy, vibrant one instead.’
Maggie forced a smile. Yes, okay, she could do this. Be happy that she’d met Seb, rather than miserable he was going to leave her.
But the ache in her chest told her she was kidding herself.
Monday morning, and Seb stood outside the small modern office building where Sarah worked, ringing on the intercom.
‘Seb Armstrong, here to see Sarah Armstrong.’
A few seconds later, the door clicked open. It wasn’t the first time he’d visited her at work – he’d had to pick the house key up from her all those months ago when he’d first arrived back – so he wasted no time bounding up the two flights of steps to her floor. Once outside her office, he tapped on the open door.
She glanced up and narrowed her eyes. ‘Sally said there was a Seb Armstrong to see me but I didn’t believe her. What are you doing here?’
‘Good to see you too, sis.’
‘We live together. I see enough of you at home.’
‘Yes, about that.’ He stepped inside the office and shut the door behind him. ‘Is there an evening this week when you can, maybe, not come home? At least not until late?’
‘You’re throwing me out of my own place?’
‘I’m asking you, very nicely, if you can go somewhere else after work for few hours this week.’ He eased back against the fancy leather and chrome chair. ‘You know, this would be a lot easier if you had a boyfriend.’
‘Right, so I need to get a boyfriend so I’ve got somewhere to stay when my brother needs to turn my place into some sort of, what, shagfest?’ The moment she realised what she’d said, her eyes widened in horror. ‘Oh God, no, I don’t want to think about what you and Maggie are going to be doing in my place.’
Seb grinned. ‘So we will be getting it to ourselves?’
‘Maggie has a great home. Why aren’t you using that?’
‘I could.’ He crossed one leg over the other, wondering how he could put this without sounding like a prat. ‘We always go to hers though, and for once, I’d like to invite her to mine. Even
if it isn’t actually, mine. At least that way I can cook for her without dragging carrier bags round. And I can take her to bed without worrying if the kids will wake up.’
Sarah put her fingers in her ears. ‘God, Seb, will you stop talking about your sex life. I don’t want to hear it. Especially as I’ve not got one of my own.’
‘Your choice, sis. I keep telling you work is no substitute for a good—’
‘Stop, now.’
The look on her face was so comical, Seb burst out laughing. ‘Relationship, sis. Work is no substitute for a good relationship.’ He paused, shooting Sarah his most charming smile. ‘Back to me commandeering your place. Hannah is happy to stay over and take care of the girls any night this week. Though we did, only tentatively of course, agree on Friday.’
Sarah’s eyes rounded. ‘Let me get this straight. Without asking Maggie first, you’ve arranged for Hannah to look after Tabby and Penny while you entertain their mother. In my home.’
He screwed up his face. ‘Yeah, it doesn’t sound great when you put it like that.’
Sarah sat back on her chair and studied him. ‘Are you going to tell me why you’re going to all this effort?’
‘No.’ There were some things a guy had to do by himself, without his big sister’s help.
‘Umm.’ Being the shrewd woman she was, he knew she wouldn’t leave it there. ‘Does this have anything to do with the calls you’ve been making to Australia?’
He felt a flush creep up his neck. ‘Sort of.’
Sarah exhaled a long slow breath, her expression turning from mildly irritated to concerned. ‘Can you at least let me know if Maggie is going to be upset at whatever it is you’re going to all this effort to tell her?’
Sarah pinned him with her stare, and Seb felt the weight of his decision press heavily down on him. ‘Truthfully, I don’t know how she’ll react to what I have to say. I only know that it’s time to say it.’
Strictly Come Dating (The Kathryn Freeman Romcom Collection, Book 3) Page 29