by S. L. Wright
Lo approached and took only one look at Shock’s rigid expression, blurting out, “That looks like an overdose. I’m calling 911.”
“Shock doesn’t do drugs. You know that.” I couldn’t let Lo call the EMTs. Demons could make their bodies appear any way they wished, but Shock was somehow losing control of herself. “I’m taking her upstairs. Maybe she’s just been scared by something,” I added to appease my bartender. “Maybe…”
Lolita shook her dark curls. “Rape?” she mouthed in concern, taking Shock’s arm to help her.
I gave Lo a stricken look over the top of Shock’s hunched head. The way she was holding on to herself, shoulders tight, knees together, it did look as if Shock had been violated. But a human couldn’t have hurt her—it must have been another demon.
Drawn to my surprised distress, Shock latched on to my arm. Her aura flared as she tried to stop herself from absorbing my energy, but her favorite emotion was too tempting.
“I’ll take her up!” I insisted, pulling Shock away from Lo. “Stay with the bar, Lolita.”
Lolita glanced back at the now avidly interested patrons. The music was drowning out our words, but clearly there was something wrong with Shock. I felt the tottering of the semiprofessional wall I had erected to keep everyone from asking questions so I wouldn’t have to lie to them. I liked being their confessor, but for that to work, my own life couldn’t intrude.
Lo turned to face everyone, her hands on her hips. Though she reveled in breaking down boundaries in every way possible, she protected my right to privacy. “You’re supposed to be drinking, not gawking at us,” she called out to Jose as she returned to the bar, asking if he wanted another.
The door to the stairs closed behind me, shutting out most of the sounds in the bar. It was a good thing demons were strong, because I had to drag Shock up every creaking step to my apartment door. As soon as it slammed shut behind us, I demanded, “Shock, what’s wrong?”
Shock stuttered, hardly able to move her lips, “Birthing…”
“You’re not going to—”
“Split. In two.” Shock grimaced at me, her face rippling with the pulsing of her aura. “Not safe. The demon… It’ll attack me.”
“Holy shit.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I repeated myself several times as I helped Shock across the slanting floor of my kitchen. It was big enough to hold an old-fashioned Formica-topped table with matching green vinyl chairs, and had a frosted window over the sink facing an airshaft. There was a coffeemaker for when I had visitors, but no microwave, toaster, or any of the usual food clutter that filled ordinary kitchens. The back of the counter was lined with a row of books, with a few piles on top. I kept only the barest essentials in the refrigerator as cover—some cheese, bottled goods that wouldn’t spoil quickly, and several bottles of soda that were years old.
I dragged Shock through the arch into the front room, which was strewn with odds and ends, the comfortable clutter of daily life. My place had never been renovated, so the battered tin ceilings and exposed pipes were thick with paint, and the plaster had buckled and cracked over the lathe. There was no bed because I didn’t sleep, so I put Shock down on the old red sofa. She didn’t look good, but I didn’t know whether this was normal; I had never seen a demon birth before.
Shock’s last offspring was Stun, born fifty years ago. He made my skin crawl every time I had to deal with him, but since he was one of Vex’s minions, I had no choice. It bothered me to think that a creature like that had come from Shock.
I was determined to avoid birthing a demon at all costs. I consumed only the bare minimum I needed to survive, never building up reserves. Not only did it make me a less-tempting target for other demons who wanted to absorb my energy, but it made it impossible for me to overdose and birth another demon into the world.
When a demon absorbed too much emotional energy, it split in two, giving birth asexually. The original demon was basically unchanged, while another fully grown demon was created. New demons were born with memory traces from their progenitor, and the basic knowledge about the ways of the world, other demons, and how to feed off the energy of human emotions. It had been difficult for me, with Plea’s knowledge clashing against my seventeen years of human memories. I had eventually coped by walling off those unsettling thoughts and feelings—visions of myself hurting people, giving in to ugly desires, surrounded by reaching hands. Those thoughts made me feel tainted, inhuman.
But my body seemed the same; in that way nothing had changed. I listened to my own heartbeat for hours in the early days, feeling the blood pulse through my veins, cutting myself to watch the red rivulets flow down my skin until my flesh miraculously healed, digging deeper despite the excruciating pain to see muscle and the glint of bone, over and over again, until I wearied of examining my own body from the outside in. Other than the way I healed, the only thing that felt different was that my appetite was now focused on emotions instead of food. Laughter was like sugar cookies, cynicism like a tart lemon, and comfort like a bowl of warm stew, satisfying to my heart.
I had asked Shock what her body felt like, and she said it was the same. She was even more fascinated by her hu manlike yet ephemeral body. She had a habit of clasping her wrist to feel her pulse race when she was pumped up on adrenaline.
I eyed her nervously. “How much longer?”
“Almost there.” Shock panted, curling into fetal position. “You got any energy? That’ll help. Over with faster.”
I gently clasped her hand so she could draw what she needed. The aura around our hands flared orange with my fear.
Shock writhed on the sofa, her feet kicking the cushions as her back arched. I didn’t need to turn on the light—a pearly glow filled the room as energy shed off her like the tail of a comet. Surely every demon within a few blocks could feel her signature now, amplified by the impending birth.
With a spike of panic, I realized I hadn’t bolted the door behind us. What if the door hadn’t closed below? What if Lo came upstairs when she heard Shock’s strangled cries? But she was holding on to me so tightly that I couldn’t let go.
Shock released my hand the instant before energy exploded from her body. The shock wave thrust me back against the wall. Cracks radiated away in the plaster where I hit. I couldn’t breathe; I could only stare.
Shock was flat on her back, nearly rigid. The lustrous glow swelled so brightly that the outline of her body grew fuzzy. I almost had to turn away; it hurt my eyes, but I couldn’t stop looking. I was born human, so it was hard for me to remember that I was a being of pure energy now. Demons looked exactly like humans, felt like real humans, so it was easy for me to forget my true nature.
This—this made it real. The veil of flesh ripped away as Shock’s body split apart.
The brilliant glow shattered as the upper part of Shock rose from the sofa. But Shock still lay there, twisting in agony as the light-filled shadow tore from her flesh.
A brand-new demon stood up before me. As the blinding light began to fade, the last remnants of energy burned off in its creation. The new demon looked like Shock. It was naked, sexless, but the slender form and short white hair were Shock’s.
I gaped, looking from the demon, back to Shock.
“Allay…,” Shock mouthed. She tried to sit up but fell back, depleted.
The demon turned to Shock and took a step back to her. Every moment, it was looking less like Shock, its features blurring and reshaping, the hair darkening, growing, then curling. It was expending energy with every shift, but it seemed much stronger than Shock, who struggled to sit up.
The demon was close to Shock—too close. Shock was having trouble shielding herself, trying to tighten her remaining energy to protect her inner core. My skin prickled as if chilled as my own shields instinctively snapped into place. Usually I was more lax, but not when another demon was anywhere nearby.
To distract the demon from Shock, I peeled away from the wall. “Get away from her.”
/> The demon whirled on me like a cornered animal, dropping into a defensive crouch. I froze, locking eyes with it. Shit! That thing’s about to jump on my face!
This was a demon in its most primeval form—shapeless, a parasite driven by hunger, ready to do whatever it took to survive. But an arc of recognition shot between me and the tensed creature before me. Because of my background, I was as different as I could be from this demon, yet I was formed from the same material. We were the same at the core.
At least now it was focused on me instead of on Shock.
I took a slow sidestep, careful not to advance or retreat but taking control of the situation by making the first move. That was when fear hit me in the gut. The demon’s signature finally penetrated the persistent buzzing of Shock’s signature. It was a shiver down my spine, making me yearn to look over my shoulder to catch the eyes that were watching me, following me, waiting to do the worst things imaginable to me.…
“Petrify,” I said. That was the demon’s name, his true nature. My palms were sweating as I radiated exactly what he wanted—fear. I had been feeding Shock a steady stream of panic ever since the poor girl had arrived, so that was what this demon craved.
Some help I am! Why didn’t I pour love into her? Or calm?
Petrify, his hands opening and shutting, took a step toward me, compelled as he was to touch me, to soak up my fright. But I couldn’t let him—he would steal the little energy I had left.
I stumbled toward the kitchen, drawing him away from Shock. His facade was still wavering, but he was quickly gaining more control, conserving his energy for an attack.
Shock managed to push herself to her feet. “What are you waiting for, Allay? Take him. You need his essence.”
It took me a second before I realized what she was saying. “You want me to consume him?”
“Go on, Allay. It’ll be easy to slip past his shields. He doesn’t have much control.”
I stared at Petrify, who stopped his advance. It was true that his aura was fluctuating, his energy flow chaotic. Maybe it would be easy to absorb his power and expose the core that kept him alive. Then I could steal his essence for myself, just as I had inadvertently stolen Plea’s essence ten years ago.
Yes. The longing swelled inside of me until it made my heart pound. I had felt this need growing for a long time, but I had tried to deny it. I couldn’t hide from it any longer.
That hot fire of life will make me immortal.
Well, at least it would keep me alive for a couple of centuries. That was how long it took to burn down the candle again, to reach the final waxy puddle where our demon flame began to gutter and go out. I could feel it happening inside me and knew if I didn’t take the core of another demon soon, I would wither and fade away. That is, if a stronger demon didn’t kill me first. Then the spark of my essence would renew his life for another two centuries.
Plea had last consumed a demon 188 years before I had taken her essence. From the first time I’d heard about this catch to demon immortality, I had hoped the clock had been reset when I was created. I had enough problems to deal with. But the odd, growing urgency inside of me, forming a tight knot in my stomach over the past few months, was unlike any other. I knew instinctively that I needed to take another demon’s essence soon, or I would begin a rapid decline and eventually disappear into a puff of nothingness.
The craving suddenly overwhelmed me. I reached for Petrify, unable to resist that animating spark buried deep inside of him. Our hands met, fingers interlacing like lovers.
Power fluctuated between us. He tried to pull the fibers of my being into him, but I wrenched back. This was different from the everyday desire to fuel myself. This was life or death.
The influx of his energy hit me like a lightning bolt. I felt as if I could crush the slight man in my arms, as if I could leap into the sky and fly. Demon energy was nothing like human emotions, which suddenly seemed pale and insignificant next to this—this glorious power.…
I breathed out, relaxing into myself for a rare, compelling moment. This was what it meant to be a demon, to consume one of our own. No wonder some demons were addicted to demon energy. Some made sport of specifically hunting me.
This time I was doing it—stealing his essence, his soul. As I stared into his eyes, the impossible suddenly seemed perfectly reasonable. I could kill him, just as I had killed Plea, though that had been a terrible accident.
Perhaps I’d been afraid that I couldn’t beat another demon, that if I tried, I would lose. Then I would finally and truly die. That fear had kept me running from demons ever since I had been possessed.
Now I realized who would triumph was a matter of will. My will had been as bendable as a reed. But now I felt like a different person, like Allay the Demon. It was as if the secret powers I had collected were nothing but match-sticks, and this was lighter fluid. It was pure, unadulterated energy—all mine.
Actually, it was Petrify’s. Before that, it had been part of Shock. Petrify hadn’t existed a moment ago. What did it matter if he disappeared now? If I crushed him like a cockroach because he meant nothing to me or to anyone. If I devoured him like—like a killer. Like a cannibal.
“No.” I shoved Petrify away from me.
He scuttled off, but Shock managed to trap him between us. “Don’t let him go,” Shock said. “You have to finish him off, Allay. You’re almost done.”
I shook my head, clutching the countertop behind me. “No, I won’t. I’m not going to lose the last bit of humanity I have.”
Shock was wobbly, but she blocked Petrify from getting around her. Now that he was weakened, it was easy. “Go on, Allay. You’ll be exactly the same. Without him you’ll die.”
I stared at Petrify, who was slightly hunched over and shaking, leaning against the wall. He was trying to gather together what was left of his energy.
“I would be different. I’d be a murderer.”
“It’s not murder!” Shock protested. “It’s… how it has to be. How it’s always been.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to kill your offspring, Shock. Now move aside. He can go out the bedroom window.”
“You’re letting him go?”
I gave her a hard look. “You don’t eat your own.”
“I’m not going to take a demon until I have to. Like you, right now.”
“It’s not that urgent.”
Shock shook her head. “You think so? Because it seems to me it’s getting that way. Besides, if you let him go, someone else will snap him up. The new ones go quickest.”
“Maybe. But it won’t be me.”
Petrify had been listening, and he wasn’t as frightened anymore. In the bedroom, he snatched up a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt and hurriedly pulled them on, as if he expected me to deny him. I dragged the chaise lounge away from the window in the bedroom, and pushed the old wooden frame as high as it could go.
A titanium lock secured the gate at the wide lock plate. I had installed the heavy-duty gates made from three-quarter-inch iron, the strongest I could find. Soon after I had moved in, a demon had broken the window and tried to force its way inside, but a can of mace had burned its eyes and given it a seizing cough, just as it did with humans. After that, I turned my place into a fortress of steel to make sure no demon could sneak up on me again.
The lock was stiff, but I wrenched it open and swung the gate out. The backyard was very narrow, made of concrete with a drain in the center. “Jump down and go that way.” I pointed. “Then into the yard behind that one. You’ll find an open lot with a fence on the next street.”
Shock sighed behind me. “Word will spread fast. It always does after a birth.”
“Get out of the city,” I told him. “Stay away and don’t come back until you have to.”
Petrify swung his legs through the window and glanced back inside at me. “Why are you helping me?”
My flip retort—I’m Super Demon, champion of poor and oppressed fiends everywhere!—died a
t the sight of his big, soulful eyes. Now he looked much darker than Shock, an elfin man with shaggy hair. Despite his appalling signature, he wasn’t that bad.
“I’m trying to be humane,” I said honestly.
“But you’re a demon.”
I sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
Self-preservation reasserted itself and Petrify ducked out the window, then poised on the sill, judging the drop. His feet made a soft thud as he hit the ground. I locked the gate again and pulled the window back down so it was partially open to let in the night air. The flowers on the acacia next door smelled so good.
Then I turned to Shock. “Is that why you came here? To give me your offspring?”
“Yes. Plus I knew that birthing another demon so quickly would weaken me. I was afraid he would turn on me while I couldn’t defend myself.”
“He almost did.”
Shock shook her head. “I still don’t understand why you didn’t take him, Allay.”
I watched the shadowy form climb over the fence. “I just couldn’t… kill him.” I turned away from the window. “Did you really think I was going to eat your child, Shock?”
“He’s not my child, Allay. He’s my offspring. There’s a big difference, and besides, I don’t see what that has to do with anything. You need to take a demon. Soon.”
I shook my head, suddenly unable to speak. I could still taste it, that overwhelming desire to steal Petrify’s essence. The hunger burning inside of me was much stronger now that I had gotten a taste of what I needed. I had almost given in to my worst demon urges.
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” Shock shoved both hands into the front pockets of her baggy jeans. She always dressed down when she wasn’t in her EMT uniform. “I want to help you, Allay. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You demons just want me because I used to be human,” I said as a joke, trying to lighten the mood.
But Shock was serious. “To be honest, maybe I was fascinated with you because of that in the beginning. You know you’re different. I could really feel it when you were feeding me. You taste like that last burst of energy a human releases.…” She glanced away, aware that she was admitting to having drained someone. “So sweet, but passing. They say people get the same high from drugs. But you have it all the time. You radiate it. It’s really compelling.”