Forever Box Set

by Wendy Louise

  I would never have imagined that I would fall for someone so quickly, so indelibly. It just goes so far against my character. But there is something so different about Ava. It’s like we’ve known each other forever. We’re comfortable with one another. When I’m with her, it’s like that is where I’m supposed to be. Like all moments prior to now were leading me to her.

  All the women that I’ve been with have paved the way to her and I realise that all those meaningless encounters existed so that when the right person came along, I would know it one hundred percent, unequivocally.

  And it’s her!

  I have no doubt.

  With all the thinking I’ve been doing since last night I’m slowly realising that I don’t want to let her go. I don’t want to leave things where they are because we haven’t even had a chance to explore being together yet.

  I need to fuckin’ man-up.

  I need to speak to her.

  Now!

  I turn back towards the hotel and run full speed. I need to speak with her before we commence production today, I don’t want to leave anything unresolved. I arrive back at the restaurant but she is nowhere to be seen. I turn towards the elevators to make my way to her Suite and my phone buzzes with a text message from her.

  Ethan, please call me. We need to talk. x

  I start to type back, telling her I’m on my way to her room, when my phone buzzes with an incoming call from Joshua.

  “Hey Josh.”

  “Ethan where are you?” Josh sounds really stressed out this morning.

  “Just waiting for an elevator. On my way to see Ava. Why?”

  “Can you come to my room first? I need to talk to you, it’s urgent.”

  “On my way.”

  I hit the end button on the screen of my phone and board the elevator. I stand at the back of the car watching the numbers of each floor illuminating the screen as we slowly climb to Josh’s floor.

  When I exit, Josh is standing waiting for me in the hallway near the elevators. He quickly ushers me in to his room.

  “Josh, what the hell is going on?”

  “I’ve just had a call from the doctor at Nanny Grace’s nursing home. They tried calling your cell phone first…”

  My knees feel like they’re about to give way underneath me. I put my hand out to steady myself against the wall. I check my phone quickly, and sure enough I have a missed call.

  Fuck, when did that come through?

  “Maybe you should sit down,” Josh suggests.

  I shake my head, “No, tell me what’s going on.” My voice sounds panicked, but I can’t help it. I’m scared of what he is about to say.

  “Ethan, Nanny has been taken to hospital. They think she suffered a stroke last night while she was sleeping. They couldn’t wake her this morning so they called an ambulance and took her straight in. They’re running tests but they won’t know the severity of the stroke until she wakes up.”

  I can’t breathe.

  My chest hurts and a bubble of nausea is rising from my stomach.

  Josh urges me towards a chair and I fall in to it, sitting forward with my elbows on my knees, trying to coax air in to my lungs. I run my hands back through my hair and raise my head. Josh looks scared, like he doesn’t know what to do to fix this. I hate seeing him look like that. It means that the turmoil I feel, he feels too. This is serious.

  “I’ve booked you on a flight back to LA at eleven this morning. I’ve already contacted Mike. They’re going to rework some of the scenes that were due to be shot so that they cover Olivia and Madeline’s first. Once we know what is going on with Nanny we can either get you back here, or Mike said he can shoot with the green screen back in LA if we have to.”

  “Thank you Josh.” My voice sounds distant and small.

  Scared.

  Terrified.

  I don’t know what else to say to him.

  “I’ve already been to your room and packed for you. You need to go back and change; the car will be here to collect you in thirty minutes.”

  I stand on unsteady legs and shake Josh’s hand. “I don’t know what I’d do without you Josh.”

  He pulls me in to a hug and pats my back.

  He shakes his head and says, “Go on, get back to your room. I’ve left all your travel arrangements in there for you. Make sure you have your passport. I’ll call you later this evening to see how everything is and to arrange your schedule after today. If you decide not to come back to Hawaii, then I’ll follow you home tomorrow. I just need to wrap up a few things here first.”

  I nod and head robotically toward my Suite, wondering what the hell I’m going to face when I get home. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know who to call. Thoughts of my mother hover in my mind. I should call her, but I couldn’t stand the media circus that she may bring to the hospital. I decide to wait and see how Nanny is first, before contacting her. I could call Grayson, he’d meet me at the hospital, but in truth all I really want right now is Ava.

  I want her with me, I want her calming influence to envelope me and tell me that this is all going to be okay.

  I slide the key card into the door and rip my clothes off in the hallway as I make my way to the bathroom. I have a short window of time to shower, change and make it to the airport.

  My mind swirls with all my memories of Nanny. She’s been my steady influence for as long as I can remember. I’ve never really thought about what life would be like without her in it. Now that the grim possibility of that is facing me, I can’t even entertain the thought; it’s too terrifying to me. I need to get back home and see her, touch her, tell her that I’m there, and see what we can do to make this better.

  I towel off and dress in comfortable clothes for the flight home, just jeans, t-shirt and ever present sunglasses, so that the waiting paparazzi don’t see me. I don’t want them following me all the way to Nanny. I run some styling gel through my hair and head back to the main part of the Suite.

  Josh is a fucking wonder.

  He has all my flight details sitting on top of my packed suitcase. He’s even packed my lap top and ipad so I’m ready to go.

  I look out the large windows that face the ocean. It’s a glorious day. There are people everywhere on the beach, running, tanning, swimming and enjoying the Hawaiian hospitality. I wish I was as carefree, I wish that my day hadn’t started out the way it had. Hell, I wish that I could have a do-over of the last twenty four hours. Well at least from the part that Ava’s ex showed up.

  Prior to that, life was good.

  It’s amazing how one day you can wake up feeling on top of the world, and the next day something can happen that turns your entire life upside down.

  I take a deep breath, grab my luggage and leave my room.

  I’m terrified of the journey ahead that is going to lead me to Nanny. I start to pray silently that all will be okay. I don’t do that often so I hope God hasn’t forgotten me.

  Please God, let Nanny be okay!

  Declarations

  Ethan is ignoring me.

  He didn’t answer my text last night and he ran off on me this morning when I tried to stop him. My heart is pounding, but not in the way I want it to. I want it to be pounding because he is so near and touching me. I want it to be pounding because of all the feelings that he brings to the surface when I’m with him.

  I don’t want it to be pounding from the sick feeling that I have in my gut.

  I had to endure a long breakfast with Cole this morning. He’s definitely playing the I want you back card.

  A couple of months ago, I may have entertained the idea, now, not so much.

  He swore to me that he had never cheated prior to the couple of times that I caught him out. He swears that he would never do it again, if I would just take him back. Apparently he still loves me and sees us together forever - kids, marriage - all of that.

  Cole is comfortable to me, and I can’t deny that a tiny part of my heart was happy to hear him say all those
things to me this morning. I wanted him to say those things to me when we were together. Unfortunately for him, the betrayal and hurt that he caused me can’t be undone. It permanently damaged the relationship for me, I can’t get past it.

  We left things amicably. He said he may come out to the States in a few months for a holiday. Well, a boy’s trip to Vegas to be exact. He asked if he could contact me then, and I said he could. I would like to think that after everything we could stay friends, but we’ll have to see how that goes. I feel like I have a little bit of closure now. I think that hearing him say all those things made me realise that he did love me, and I was important to him.

  When you catch someone cheating on you, it makes you feel worthless, like you’re not important. Like you can be easily discarded.

  I don’t feel like that now.

  It doesn’t change the outcome though.

  All of that aside, my mind and my heart can’t stop thinking about Ethan. I barely slept last night wondering why he hadn’t contacted me after my text. I almost had to strap myself to the bed to keep from going to his Suite in the middle of the night, demanding that he hear me out.

  When I saw him this morning he looked delicious.

  Running shorts, tank top, cap.

  Those strong arms and powerful legs on display.

  As soon as my eyes met his, I forgot where I was. Cole was talking but I wasn’t registering anything he was saying to me. I just needed to get to Ethan.

  I need to talk to him before our schedule starts today, so I’m making my way to his Suite.

  There is no answer. I knock for a while, so I assume that he must still be out running. I round the corner to head to the elevators when Josh approaches me. He has that same stressed look on his face that he had the day he arrived to the Studio late, complaining about the LA traffic.

  “Ava, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I’ve tried your cell phone too,” he says breathlessly.

  I reach down to check my bag and realise that I’ve left my phone charging in the Suite.

  “Sorry Josh. My phone is on charge. What’s up?”

  “Ava, its Nanny Grace…..”

  Oh. God. No!

  I feel the blood rushing out of my face, via my ears and in to my head, causing an immediate searing headache.

  Ethan!

  “I got a call this morning; they think she suffered a stroke in her sleep last night. They’re doing tests. We don’t have a prognosis yet, but I booked Ethan on the first flight I could get him out. He heads back to LA at eleven.”

  “Shit Josh, I need to be with him. Where is he now?”

  “The driver picked him up about fifteen minutes ago; he’s on his way to the airport.”

  I start to panic and realise that I need to remain calm. “Josh, can you get me on that flight?”

  “I can try.”

  “Am I leaving you in a difficult position if I go back? Are you able to take over Liv’s schedule for me until we know what’s going on with Nanny?”

  “Of course.”

  I grab Josh and give him a tight hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you.”

  “Head back to your Suite. Pack and let Olivia know what’s going on. I’ll see what I can do and meet you there in fifteen minutes. Be quick Ava, if I can get you on the same flight you’ll need to leave immediately.”

  I turn and run back towards my room, hoping Josh can work one of his miracles.

  It’s funny how time can change so many things.

  Days ago I was here at the same airport feeling blissfully happy, and so excited about having time with Ethan in Hawaii. Now I’m here frantically getting through security so I can make my way to him. The airport that held so much promise on my arrival now holds so much dread. The bad memories always seem to erase the good.

  Josh has given me instructions to make my way to the VIP Lounge. Ethan should still be there. I don’t know how Josh did it, but he got me on the flight and sitting next to Ethan. He sure knows how to pull strings. Ethan has no idea I’m on my way because none of us can get through to his cell.

  I enter the VIP Lounge and stand at the Reception desk. A very well groomed lady in a smart navy suit gives me the once over and asks for my name. I explain who I am and am ushered through to the back of the Lounge.

  I search frantically for Ethan. It’s really busy and there are a lot of people in here. I can’t find him anywhere. I drag my carry-on case behind me and start to weave my way through tourists, businessmen and families, all of whom are eagerly awaiting flights home or to new destinations. I search face after face, and I can’t find him. I feel like crying, but I know that he has to be here somewhere.

  I make my way past the buffet of food that is being devoured by hungry passengers and I spot him sitting in a bucket chair near the windows in the far corner. He is gazing out at the tarmac, staring at the planes and the activity below. His face looks drawn, and his eyes are displaying every ounce of pain that his heart is feeling.

  I wheel my luggage over and stop in front of him. He looks up and in that moment, my heart breaks for him. He looks like his entire world has come crashing down on him. Before I can say a word he stands and pulls me tight to his chest. He buries his face in my neck and I can feel his body shuddering against mine. He exhales a loud breath and says, “Ava, thank God you’re here.”

  I hug him back with every fibre of my being. I want to try and convey all the hurt I’m feeling for him, and acknowledge all the hurt that he is feeling. I pull back and lean in to give him a kiss on the lips. “Ethan, I’m so sorry.”

  He pulls a chair over for me and sits back down taking my hand in his.

  “How did you get here?”

  “Josh,” I state. No more explanation is needed.

  “He’s amazing,” Ethan says.

  “He is.”

  “What about Liv? She needs you.”

  “You need me more Ethan. Josh will take care of Liv for me.”

  I place my hand on his cheek and he leans in to my touch, closing his eyes and letting out another shaky breath.

  “Have you eaten? Can I grab you something?”

  Ethan shakes his head and opens his eyes. “I’m not hungry.”

  “Okay.” I don’t want to push him.

  “God Ava, what am I going to do if she doesn’t wake up? What will I do if she doesn’t…. make it?”

  The tortured look on Ethan’s face is heartbreaking.

  I place my hands on either side of his face and look directly at him. “Listen to me. Nanny will be fine, she’s a fighter. Stop worrying until we get to the hospital and find out what’s going on. You’ll make yourself sick before we get there. I’m here with you, we’ll do this together.”

  He looks in to my eyes and I see so much emotion reflected back at me; hurt, fear, devastation, courage, heat, and dare I say it - love.

  He’s looking at me like I’m the oxygen that his lungs are craving. It’s intense and beautiful at the same time. Everything I see in his eyes, I feel in my heart.

  He blinks and that hurt look comes back to his face. “Shit Ava, when I saw you this morning, I thought that motherfucker had spent the night with you, I thought you were done with me, with us.”

  “What?” I can’t believe Ethan could even think that after the night we had last night. “Ethan. Cole is my past. I’m not looking back. He felt like unfinished business, so I finished it. I was surprised to see him here, that’s all. He begged me to talk to him so I agreed to breakfast this morning. I didn’t want to talk to him last night, because I didn’t want anything to ruin the best date I have ever had in my entire life. I was gutted when I turned around and you were gone.”

  “The best date ever hey?” Ethan asks, a small smile ghosting his lips.

  I nod.

  His eyebrows pull together and he frowns. “I couldn’t handle watching you with him. You both seemed so natural together and I felt threatened. I needed to get away from him before I hit him.”
>
  My face breaks out in to a smile and I grab Ethan’s hand.

  “Ethan, I’m not going anywhere, and there is certainly no need for you to rough Cole up. He’s gone. I told him that I’m not interested in getting back with him. End of story.”

  Ethan’s eyes darken. “So he wanted you back?”

  “Yes he did. I made it very clear that would not be happening. Look Ethan, this thing that we have going on is important to me. I feel more natural when I’m with you than I ever did when I was with Cole. That means something to me. I wouldn’t just throw it away because Cole showed up. ”

  He rubs circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. “Ava, all I know is that when Josh told me what had happened to Nanny, I wanted you. I needed you. I knew you would be the only person that could talk me around and calm me down. I need you Ava, so fucking much.”

  He pulls me towards him so I’m seated across his lap, and holds me tighter than he ever has before. I don’t talk; I just hold him back and give him silent comfort.

  A moment later we are interrupted by a flight attendant.

  “Mr Drake, Ms Lucas, I’m here to escort you to your flight. Please follow me.”

  Ethan and I stand and retrieve our hand luggage. He reaches back to grab my hand and we follow the flight attendant to board the plane.

  This is going to be the longest flight in history. I worry about what is waiting for us at the other end and I silently hope and pray that Nanny Grace is going to be alright.

  I’m not sure Ethan would survive any other outcome.

  I don’t know what I would’ve done if Ava had not come back to LA with me. The flight seemed to take an eternity, but with Ava by my side, I got through it. Just her touch calms me. It’s like she’s some secret drug that runs through my nervous system, leaving tranquillity in its wake.

  I’m so scared to see Nanny, but now that we are on the drive from the airport to the hospital, I just need to get to her. The pace seems pain stakingly slow due to the LA traffic.

  Ava has not let go of my hand since we left Hawaii, well except of course when we had to eat and use the bathroom. Otherwise she’s been offering me comfort the entire way. She must sense the tension that is slowing seeping back through my veins as we near closer to the hospital. I feel like my muscles are locking up tight like a rope that’s being stretched to capacity.