“A man who cares more for the woman within, whom he alone may know, than for the beauty that belongs to any who lays eyes upon it.”
“And does such a man breathe upon this earth?” I asked.
“I do not know. I hope; even I am allowed hope.” Then the brooding look vanished. “I am sorry, Esther—I have no wish to distress you. This is your home now; be welcome here. And since you are clever, will you please tell me if there is anything that should be provided to make the maidens happy as they wait for their chance with the king?”
The question astonished me. That one who had been a queen since she was ten years old should think of the happiness of girls who were not only strangers to her, but who vied for the man who had been her husband, told more about her than a thousand songs of fulsome praise.
“You say you have no skills, no talents,” I said. “But you are wrong, for you have one great talent. You are kind, Vashti.”
“Is kindness a talent?”
“Yes, it is.”
Vashti smiled. It was true that she was beautiful, as any exotic creature is beautiful. But it was not a comfortable sort of beauty; her eyes and her famed pearl-pale hair insisted on attention. It was impossible to imagine Vashti as anything but the ornament of a palace. But her smile made her seem somehow less perfect, more—loveable.
As I smiled back, I wondered if all her life Vashti had been bound with chains woven by her long ivory hair. Perhaps, someday, I might ask her, and she might tell me.
“Hegai—the Chief Eunuch—speaks well of you,” Vashti said. “And now I understand why. You are not only beautiful, but wise and good.”
“My lady princess, you cannot possibly know anything of me yet but that I am indeed beautiful. Every word I have spoken to you thus far may be a lie. I have my own future to consider, you know.”
Vashti laughed—I don’t know why she thought my words amusing, for I had spoken only truth. I could easily mislead her; she knew nothing of me or my nature.
“And you have a clever wit, too!” Vashti slanted a glance back at the Chief Eunuch Hegai, who had retreated to the shadows of the colonnaded walkway that led to the Garden of Roses. The Chief Eunuch smiled at her and came forward again into the sunlight.
“Has my lady princess satisfied her curiosity?” Hegai spoke lightly, as if of a minor matter.
Vashti tilted her head, as if thinking deeply upon his words. “Yes, I have. As always, your advice has proven sound.”
Perhaps she thought her words innocuous enough, but I knew better. Already it was clear to me that both the Chief Eunuch and the deposed queen had looked upon me and found me good. They think to make me queen. I tried to feel some emotion at the thought, and could not. Just as well, for what Vashti and Hegai believed they desired might change with the next wind that blew. I knew nothing of either of them, after all, save what I had gleaned from common gossip.
They think to make me queen—at this moment.
“You think deep thoughts, Esther.” Hegai’s voice reined my attention back; I gained a moment by bowing.
“I think only that it is wonderful that so great a lady as Princess Vashti, and so highly placed an official as the Chief Eunuch, should spend so much time upon so humble a maiden as Esther of Shushan,” I said, and was rewarded by hearing both Vashti and Hegai laugh.
I watched the two of them walk out of the Garden of Roses. Vashti curled her arm through Hegai’s and he bent his head, speaking words to her that I was too far away to hear. As soon as they vanished into the palace, a flock of the other girls hastened up to me.
“That was Queen Vashti!” one of them said, breathless with delighted shock.
“And the Chief Eunuch,” added another. “What—”
What did they want of you? The question was asked in a dozen different ways by a dozen different girls. They all stared at me, expecting some outrageous answer—or rather, hoping. I considered carefully before I answered.
“I do not think they wanted anything of me that they may not also want of you. Did not Princess Vashti, the King’s Sister—” I laid stress on Vashti’s proper title now, “—speak with many of you before me? And have not you all spoken with the Chief Eunuch, who has us in his care now?”
I gave them time to think this over and to murmur assents before I added,
“My sisters, they wanted to look upon the next queen. For she stands here now, in this garden. And only the King of Kings himself will know who she is.”
* * *
The most surprising thing to me was the queen’s innocence—yes, and the king’s, too, when at last I met him. They reminded me of Egyptian kittens, pampered and petted and fed upon cream and fresh-caught fish. Never had they had a hand raised against them, never had they known a moment’s pain.
Now I understood why Hegai gave me such extravagantly fine rooms; my apartments lay very close to the garden between the Women’s Palace and the Queen’s Palace. I could easily come and go between the two palaces to visit Vashti and play with her many pets, and obey her pleas for endless stories of my life both on my father’s farm and in my cousin’s house here in Shushan. I had always thought my life rather dull, especially under Mordecai’s care—but in Vashti’s eyes, I had lived great adventures. Odd, to think that one who had been Queen of Queens envied me.
Hegai also assigned to me seven handmaidens who tended me alone. None of my servants attended upon any of the other girls. I set Kylah over the others, making her chief among my female servants. For my household also included half a dozen eunuchs, and they were ruled only by their own kind.
I studied my eunuchs, judging their character and abilities, before I chose one named Hatach to hold pride of place as chief. I also, of course, consulted with Hegai before making such a decision.
“And why do you wish to set Hatach over your eunuchs, Esther?” Hegai asked. “He is not the oldest, nor is he bold, and he perhaps worries overmuch about trivialities.”
“The oldest is fat and self-satisfied, and wishes only to live out his days in comfort. The others are all too young. And Hatach may not be a lion for courage, but I do not need a warrior. And the position of head eunuch will keep him too busy to worry over any trivialities but those that affect my household.”
Hegai smiled. “Very well, if it is your desire that Hatach be chief over your eunuchs, let it be so.”
“I know very well it is your desire,” I told him, “or Hatach would not be in my household at all. None of the others is at all suitable for the post and both of us know it.”
“Star of the Palace, do you never tire of speaking blunt truth that is much better veiled in tactful hints?”
“Chief Eunuch, if you did not find me amusing, I would not have the chance to speak to you at all, truthfully or no.” I bowed. “I thank you for your approval of my choice of Hatach. He really is very sweet, you know.”
Hegai merely shook his head and gave me leave to go. But as I walked away from his room, I heard him laugh, and I smiled.
* * *
Life as one of the Chosen Maidens passed dreamlike; each day brought the same rituals as we were prepared to meet the King of Kings. No maiden here was less than beautiful. Now the eunuchs and handmaidens strove to make us perfect. We spent long hours in the bathhouse, where our skin was scrubbed with sea salt. When at last they stopped, we slid into the vast pool, savoring the water soft against our bodies. Still more servants helped us out again, and handed us into the care of women whose task it was to smooth oil of myrrh into our tingling skin.
Three women attended me. Two massaged rose-scented oil over my body, while the third combed out my wet hair and spread it over a rack created from Indian sandalwood. If nothing else, I would be sweet-smelling when I at last met the king.
Beauty treatments seemed to be the only preparation we were to receive. After all, what else could a man possibly desire of a woman except beauty?
* * *
If Hegai and Vashti had their way, I would be Queen of Queens,
just as Mordecai’s dream had foretold. Of course, they might change their minds—but I sealed my fate in Vashti’s mind the day one of her pets wandered out of the gate to the Queen’s Palace and, timid and confused, slunk into the Garden of Roses. I was inhaling the spice-rich fragrance of some newly opened roses when screams from the other girls startled me so much I stabbed my fingers on the rose’s thorns. I turned as girls ran past, jostling me—I do not think they even noticed I stood there. Across the garden half a dozen others clung to each other, shrieking for help. I looked around for the cause of so much distress, and spotted a gray shadow crouched beneath a lilac bush.
One of Vashti’s wolves had wandered into our garden and now pressed shaking against the ground, terrified by the girls’ screams. I walked slowly forward, wishing I had some food to tempt the beast with. I heard one of the girls call out to me, urging me to run.
“Be silent,” I said, “you’re frightening him.” I had reached the lilac; I crouched down and held out my hand. “Come, Vayu,” I crooned, “come, you know me. Come to me and be safe.”
Fortunately the girls had obeyed me, and now clustered silent as I continued to coax Vayu. Now that there was no shrieking, the wolf hesitantly sniffed at my fingers, but just as he seemed about to crawl forward to me, the clamor began anew as a dozen eunuchs armed with ironbound canes ran into the garden. Vayu withdrew, trembling harder than before. I stood up and rounded upon the eunuchs.
“Stop that noise at once, and stop making such great fools of yourselves. You all know perfectly well that this is no demon and no wild beast, but one of Princess Vashti’s cherished pets. If any harm comes to him, you all will be…” I didn’t know precisely what fate would be meted out in such a case, so I settled for “… punished severely. Now all of you please go away and stop frightening the poor creature.”
To my great relief, they did as I had commanded. Silently thanking the Lord for His aid, I finally succeeded in coaxing Vayu to me and slipped my veil through his collar for a makeshift leash. I led the wolf back to the Queen’s Palace, where he lunged out of my grasp and ran into her gardens as soon as he saw the open gate.
Vashti’s gratitude was touching, if overwrought. “Oh, Esther, thank you, thank you a thousand times! Tell me what you desire of me and you shall have it, whatsoever you ask for, it is yours. Oh, I was right, you are meant to be queen—”
“What, because I managed to catch a frightened animal?” I reached up and unclasped Vashti’s arms from around my neck. “Calm yourself, Vashti, your pet is unharmed.”
“Yes, and but for you he would have been killed. Everyone hates wolves, you know that. They would have been glad to kill him.”
“Nonsense,” I said firmly. In fact, Vashti was right, for Persians believe wolves are creatures ruled by the Dark, and even if they are not, no man with herds or flocks is very fond of the beasts.
Vashti shook her head. “You saved Vayu, Esther, and we both know it. If ever I can repay you, you have only to ask.”
“I will.” Even if I did not become queen, someday it might prove useful to be owed a favor by the king’s most beloved sister. Who knew what the future would bring?
* * *
Although I heard much about her, I did not set eyes on Queen Mother Amestris until I had already lived in the palace for a month. One morning, Hatach came rushing in to my bedchamber, and told me I must come at once to the baths—
“For the Queen Mother wishes to look upon you today—you and all the other girls who have arrived for the king—and you must be bathed and perfumed with myrrh, and—”
Hatach seemed so anxious that I meekly followed him to the baths, and let him garb and jewel me as pleased him. I thought myself overdressed and overjeweled, but perhaps that was not, that day, a bad thing.
At noon, I and the other girls followed the Chief Eunuch Hegai, who led us through two small gardens and a long corridor that opened into a courtyard large enough to hold all 126 of us. At the far end of the courtyard a tiny, elegant woman sat upon a tall chair. The Queen Mother.
Hegai bowed. “The king’s maidens, O queen.”
We all bowed; I studied Queen Mother Amestris through my lashes. Beautiful still, but growing old; ambitious still, but growing weary. I had seen that same look of stubborn pride and refusal to yield to time in the eyes of our herd’s aging lead mare … Swiftly, I summoned my mind back from the past. I must watch Amestris carefully, for she still held great power.
For long minutes, we all stood waiting, and Amestris studied us without speaking. “Very pretty,” she said at last, and I heard the girl to my left stifle a sob. I lifted my chin, and smiled. Each girl here was beautiful as a pagan goddess, and the Queen Mother, not being blind, knew that full well.
“Very pretty” indeed! Now I know what to think of you, Queen Mother Amestris. If you ever seem to offer kindness, I’ll know it for a lie.
My wry smile drew the Queen Mother’s attention to me. Silent, she stared at me. I looked back steadily. For an instant, she seemed almost to smile back. Then she lifted her hand again.
“Very well, Hegai. Take the girls away.”
And that was all. After all the hours of bathing and grooming, that was all. A steady glance, and dismissal.
Well, it could have been worse. But I could not convince the other girls of that. Some of them wept for hours, convinced they would be sent home without ever seeing the king, since his mother had not smiled upon them. I knew better. Vashti and Hegai, not Amestris, ruled this race. But I did not make the mistake of discounting the Queen Mother’s power. Amestris would challenge them, if she found a candidate to her own liking.
So I suppose I had better hope she likes me—at least better than she likes any of the others.
HEGAI
Of course Esther delighted the eye—she was one of the most beautiful women in the empire, after all; beauty worth a queen’s ransom in rubies—but her wit and grace gave that beauty life. Any woman might possess beauty of face and form. Without a lovely mind and spirit to inhabit that body—
Only look upon Tandis and Barsine to see the outcome of that! No, that is not fair or just. Barsine is brainless as a butterfly, but she is sweet-tempered and biddable.…
“Hegai?” Vashti tugged the ribbons braided through my hair. “Stop thinking, Hegai! We are here to choose a perfume for Esther—”
“Which is hardly so earthshaking a task that it requires a dozen people to accomplish it,” Esther said. “If the Chief Eunuch has other duties, surely Hatach can help me select a scent.”
Appalled by Esther’s lighthearted words, Hatach began hastily to explain that surely she hadn’t meant any such thing. “Your perfume is of the utmost importance, my lady Esther! And while it is true I have some small knowledge of fragrances, the Chief Eunuch”—here Hatach bowed to me—“is a master of the art, and even were he not, it is his privilege to supervise all that passes in the Women’s Palace, most particularly when it concerns the maidens awaiting their night with the King of Kings, Lord of Half the World, Lord over the Medes and the Persians and—”
Esther reached out to clasp Hatach’s hands to stop the flow of titles. “Peace, Hatach. I will do just as seems best to you. Please don’t fret so.” She then looked rather severely at Vashti and added, “I know it is a very serious task to prepare me to meet the king, Hatach, and I am deeply grateful for your efforts on my behalf.”
Vashti stopped laughing—or at least, she pressed her face against my shoulder. I could feel her body shudder with hidden mirth.
“My thanks, for I know that you, my most gracious lady Esther, truly appreciate the labor involved in my task.” Hatach would have expanded upon this, but I thought it time to intervene.
“Very true,” I said. “Now, Hatach, what have you to show us?” For all his fretting and fussing, Hatach did indeed have a keen sense of what would suit his charge.
Hatach waved his hand over the vials awaiting our judgment. “I have selected half a dozen from the perf
umers’ stock, and compounded another half a dozen myself.”
The glass vials glittered in the sunlight; Esther regarded them speculatively. “I am not accustomed to wearing perfume, so I depend on you to guide my choice. Although I do like the scent Princess Vashti favors.”
“Oh, no, no, no.” Hatach shook his head. “No, my lady Esther, that would not do for you at all.” He looked to me for confirmation of this, and I inclined my head, striving not to laugh myself. Beside me, Vashti, too, trembled on the brink of laughter; I squeezed her hand admonishingly.
Esther managed to look completely serene. “No? Well, what then do you advise?” And then, because she always found joy in knowledge, she asked, “And why will Princess Vashti’s perfume not do for me?”
“Among the reasons are these,” Hatach began. “Princess Vashti’s perfume is composed primarily of amber, and amber is a warm scent, which would not suit you. And also—” He paused, and I knew he had realized that to tell the chief reason would be excessively tactless. Rather than let him flounder in a morass of explanation, I took over the task.
“In addition,” I said, “it is important that your fragrance be yours, and not—”
“My predecessor’s,” Esther finished, her voice flat. “Yes, I understand that is most important.”
Vashti reached out and grasped Esther’s hand. “Truly, Hegai and Hatach know best what will suit you—”
“—and please the king?” Esther’s eyes glittered; I saw she was on the verge of tears. I caught Hatach’s eye and subtly indicated first Esther and then the waiting perfumes. Hatach promptly moved over to the table and beckoned to Esther.
“Come, my lady Esther—come see if any of my efforts are pleasing to you.” Hatach seemed to study the vials, then picked up one shaped like a teardrop. “Will you not at least take one breath of the perfume?” He managed to sound both coaxing and mournful. Esther closed her eyes for a moment; when she opened them again, she smiled and, still holding Vashti’s hand, walked over to Hatach.
“Of course I will, Hatach.” Esther’s voice was steady, her face calm. “Now, show me your fragrant magic.”
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