by Amie Stuart
“It’s a shame you’re going home tonight, ma’am. You’ll miss it,” Jade practically whispered.
“Isn’t it. I’ve had a rather long day and would really like to leave now, Jade.”
Her Honor stood and looked down her nose at them, her regal expression pushing him on. He eased Jade off his thigh and stood up, pulling her firmly against him. “You don’t mind if we say goodbye, do you, ma’am?” He finished his request with a slightly bashful smile, head ducked just a bit—his Aw Shucks look.
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “If you must.”
The Judge didn’t move. Just stood there. He turned and found Jade staring at him, wide-eyed. He took her beer bottle and set it on the bench beside his, acutely conscious of her mother’s close proximity. Surely she wasn’t so dense she didn’t realize he was about to kiss her daughter. Why didn’t Judge Ballard head inside like any decent person would do and walk away so they could 'say goodbye'? They had a date with a horse to plan.
“Thanks for the dance,” he whispered, leaning down and rubbing his nose against hers. He had to make this look good. Now he understood why Jade had been so desperate. Her mother was a royal bitch. But he’d enjoyed himself, just the same.
“Thank you,” she whispered back, wrapping her arms around his neck. He knew she wasn’t just thanking him for the dance but his help. He brushed his mouth over hers and caught her lips in a slow easy kiss. They were cold and surprisingly soft. She relaxed against him with a slight shiver and he deepened the kiss, tightening his grip on his soft, curvy armful. To his pleasant surprise, she responded when he flicked his tongue against hers. Their tongues met, tentative and testing, and her arms tightened around his neck. Despite his own body’s response to her softening, he hadn’t completely forgot about Judge Ballard standing there, watching them.
Mom wanted a show, he’d give her a show. Mom thought he was trashy, he’d give her trashy. Rowdy invaded Jade's mouth, determined to get a better response from her as well. He let her come up for air only to dive back in and give her the most devastatingly erotic kiss he could. He ignored The Judge’s throat clearing, intent on showing Jade with his mouth exactly what that horseback ride would be like.
“My God, Uncle Rowdy, get a damned room.” His niece’s snappy twang pulled him right out of what had turned into a very intense, heart-stopping kiss.
In the middle of trying to show Her Judgeship just how awful he was, Rene had come along and iced the cake. He nearly choked on Jade's tongue and his own laughter. If they’d been alone, he might have asked Jade home, but then again, if not for her mom, she wouldn’t have come to the dancehall in the first place. Still laughing, he broke the kiss and looked up to discover Rene standing at an intersecting path. “Hey brat,” he greeted her, keeping one arm around Jade and sneaking a glance at her mother.
“My dear Lord, where did that child learn to talk?”
“A barn, and you?”
“Rene, behave.” Rowdy gave a slight shake of his head, hoping she’d catch the hint in the rapidly dimming light. She’d served her purpose. She could go.
“You’re related to this child?” Judge Ballard demanded.
“She’s my niece.” And she had the mouth of a sewer rat. For Rene, it all came down to shock value.
“Is she indeed?”
“Oh yes, ma’am, I’m really his niece. We might be country, but we don’t do incest. That’s just gross.”
Beside him, Jade was overcome with fits of laughter so bad she finally had to sink down on the bench and try to catch her breath.
“After the show you put on at the country club the other night, Jade, I can see you making a fine aunt for this little one.” She waved a hand in Rene’s direction. “You two can take your act on the road.”
“Aunt. What aunt?” Rene glared back at him. She tended to be a bit possessive of the men in her life.
He’d just have to pray she kept her mouth shut—yeah right—and make it okay with her tomorrow. “I’m getting married.”
“The hell you say!” From her tone of voice, he might as well have told his tomboy niece, “I’m buying you a dress.”
“The hell I say! Now, go back inside, find your Aunt Jessa and tell her I’ll be along shortly,” he growled, hoping she’d finally leave so he could wrap this up before it got anymore out of control.
Rather than turning and going back the way she’d come, Rene chose to cross in front of them. Rowdy watched her pause in front of The Judge and look her up and down. “Hmmpf,” she declared before turning and heading back toward the bar. Rene’s haughty expression had rivaled the older woman’s.
“Well, I never in my life! What an ill-mannered child,” she muttered so he almost didn't hear her.
“Ma’am, just a word of warning.” Snooty was one thing, but Rene was off limits. His temper flaring, Rowdy turned to face The Judge, his hands clenched into fists at his hips. “I tend to be rather protective of my girls. From Jade to Rene, to all my sisters-in-law, all the way down to my baby goddaughter. And I don’t take kindly to anyone speakin’ ill of them, if you catch my drift.”
Rowdy picked up his beer and offered Jade his free arm. She stood and took it, and for just a minute, he thought he saw something in her eyes. Admiration? Adoration? No, just a trick of the flickering light.
They headed back the way they’d come, Jade’s mother now silent, except for the click of her heels on the brick walkway. Rowdy rounded the corner, only to pull up short at the sight of a Boudreaux Convention. Rene, and all the women, including Maggie, Tim’s godmother. Great. Rowdy focused on his niece, eyes narrowed. She stood with her hands behind her back, eyebrows raised and lips pursed. She wasn’t pleased, but then, neither was he.
“What’s this?” hissed Jade, squeezing his arm.
“Trouble with a capital “W”.” He freed his arm from Jade's grip and wrapped it protectively around her shoulder, tucking her close to him, as her mother appeared on her other side. Then smothered a chuckle as long, tall Toni sauntered forward, her lavender cat eyes pale slivers in the dim light.
“What the hell’s going on, Rowdy?” She crossed her arms and waited, her full lips pursed. So that’s where Rene had gotten that expression from.
Jade’s grip on his waist tightened painfully.
“I told you, he’s marrying her, Toni,” Rene announced for anyone within earshot to hear.
“The hell you say!” Susie’s jaw dropped in obvious shock.
Rowdy cringed. Two nights ago, he’d told Susie there was no him and Jade.
“That’s what I said.” Rene crossed her arms, a smirk on her face.
“Glad to see I’m not the only one...shocked at the sudden engagement.” The Judge sniffed.
Just then Betti stepped forward, full hips swinging and blond curls bobbing. Rowdy gave Ty’s wife a wink, and she winked back with her usual good-natured grin. Betti was expecting and proudly let anyone who asked rub her swollen belly. She was also a mama bear with everyone she cared about. A trait that had quickly endeared her to Rowdy.
Betti held out a long hand and wiggled her manicured fingers at him. Rowdy took them and squeezed, giving her a grateful smile.
“We might all be surprised at the happy announcement, but that doesn’t mean we’re not pleased.”
“Introduce us, honey,” Maggie Boudreaux gently ordered with a regal nod of her red head. Tim’s godmother was the benevolent Queen Mother to The Judge’s obviously iron-fisted monarchy.
Rowdy obliged with a smile. Maggie Boudreaux could be just as formidable as Jade's mom when she put her mind to it, and surrounded by the rest of the clan—Rene, Jessa, Betti, Delaney, Susie and Toni—she presented quite a picture. He heaved a quiet sigh of relief.
After the how do you do’s were made, Rowdy spun around at the sound of a throat being cleared “And I’m his brother, Tim Caldwell.”
Rowdy had never in his life been so grateful for his family’s support, but he was gonna have a hell of a lot of
explaining to do.
“Well, you’re certainly tall, aren’t you?” The Judge offered Tim her hand.
Jade stiffened at his side, while Rowdy stifled a grin at the mental picture of Tim leaning over and kissing the judge’s wedding ring. But he could tell by the firm set of Tim’s jaw, he wasn’t too thrilled. Either at Rowdy or The Judge, he wasn’t sure.
“Daddy, Uncle Rowdy’s gettin’ married.”
“I heard.”
“That...little girl is yours?”
“Yes, she is.” Before The Judge could say anything else, a smiling Tim motioned to Jade. “This her? The one you told me about?”
He nodded and gave her a gentle push in Tim’s direction. “This is Skye.”
“Her name is Jade,” The Judge corrected him in her haughtiest tone yet.
“Jade Skye? Is that her real name?” Tim asked with a chuckle, then immediately turned his head away as Rene nailed The Judge to the wall.
“What the hell kinda name is that?”
Rowdy smothered his laughter with a cough while Jade ducked her head, trying to smother her own giggles. “My sister’s Emerald Rayne,” Jade said, shaking Tim’s hand.
“My Gawd, Uncle Rowdy, you can’t marry her. Your kids’ll end up with some whacked-out names like Sapphire Cloud or Zirconia Tree!”
Tim roared with laughter, pulling Jade into a big bear hug and patting her back.
Despite his best efforts, Rowdy couldn’t hold back his own laughter this time and still hadn’t gotten himself sufficiently under control by the time Jade pushed away from Tim.
She tossed her beer in a nearby trash barrel. “I think I’d better take her home now.”
“Sunday we’re having a cookout,” Toni threw in.
Rowdy smothered a groan at what he knew was coming next. And Toni the Matchmaker was as protective as Rene was possessive.
“You should come.”
“Do you mean to tell me that in six months, you’ve never even met his family, Jade?”
“She knows some of us,” Jessa piped up, pointing to Susie and Toni. “But it’s time she met the rest of the folks.”
Before Jade could respond, he gave her a tiny nod. They’d deal with that later. “I tend to keep my affairs private until I’m ready to share.”
“When were you planning on sharing? After the wedding?”
Jade sighed and gave him an apologetic shrug, the strain visible on her face. “I’m tired, ma’am. Can we go now?”
“Absolutely.”
They said their good-bye’s and disappeared into the bar’s thick throng of customers.
“She didn’t even call her mother, Mom.” Rene looked at him, then back toward the crowd.
Rowdy snorted and shook his head. “You call your Mom, Charlie.”
“Y’all better get back up on that stage before that crowd gets any more restless,” Susie noted, then pointed at him. “You and I are gonna have a long talk before the night is through, Mister.”
“Lay off, Suz. Rowdy knows what he’s doing.”
“I understand that, Tim, but it’s who he’s doing it with that has me worried.”
GOODBYE 36-C
DRAINED AND STILL hung over by the time I’d reached San Antonio, I slept the day away, not even bothering to check my email. By the time I woke up, it was too late to call Robbie. The plan had been to call him tomorrow, but when Her Motherness had showed up on my doorstep demanding to meet my new fiancé—and pass judgment on him—all I could think of was get rid of her, fast. I’d scrambled for a plan, finally settling on taking her to the dancehall. The Bluebonnet wasn’t her type of scene, and she’d want in and out as fast as possible. After a quick dinner and a long hot shower, I’d prepared myself for battle, putting as much energy into my hair and face as I had the night of my date with Robbie, and prayed he wouldn’t make a public scene—unlike me.
I was right. She’d been more than willing to sit at the bar to minimize contact with the natives while I tracked Rowdy down and begged him to help me.
As much as I had no right to, my options were limited.
I’d almost lost my nerve at the scornful expression on Rowdy’s face when I wrapped my arms around his waist. And my legs had nearly buckled when he’d pulled me into his arms and slow danced me around the floor. He’d felt so good, damn him.
Why couldn’t he have been the man I wanted him to be? Why did Her Honorable have to show up out of the blue? So much for hashing things out over the phone.
I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t attracted to him. Robbie, not Rowdy. But my brain still had trouble connecting the dots between the two of them. Something I’d better get over and quick. Since I’d officially agreed to horsy-sex with him, I better get over it real, real quick. Of course, if he kept kissing me like he had out in the beer garden, I didn’t foresee any problems.
Recalling the look on HH’s face at the sight of Robbie and I together, and at the sight of Robbie hollering for a beer, I grinned in the dimness of my mother’s BMW.
From his broken-in Levi’s and faded t-shirt advertising a local restaurant, to his battered, straw cowboy hat and dark blond goatee, Robbie’s whole attitude said “I didn’t shave because I didn’t feel like it.”
Not only was he the antithesis of Allan, he wasn’t the type of man my mother would ever be able to lead around by the nose, and I adored him for it. He was gorgeous in a rough and tumble, good-natured way that she’d never see or appreciate.
“You picked him just to spite me, didn’t you?” Her Honorableness commented as she sped up the highway.
I rest my case, Your Honor.
“I picked him because I love him,” I glibly lied. Personally, I’d wanted to cheer when he’d given HH his “My Women” speech.
“That little girl was horrid. And that little kissing display was disgusting. A lady doesn’t act like that in public.”
“Cool,” I muttered, my eyes still on the passing scenery. We were only minutes from my townhouse. “Sure...whatever.”
“Cool? Sure? Ballard’s do not act like trashy bar women, but I see now you’ll do as you please with your train wreck of a life, no matter what I say!”
The sudden jerk of the car caused my head to bang against the passenger window, snapping me from my daydreams of more Robbie kisses and nightmares of Sunday Supper Interrogations with his family. I winced at the sudden sharp pain in my skull, thankful once I’d opened my eyes that they’d been closed and I’d missed HH’s reckless driving.
We had crossed three lanes of traffic to take the wrong exit and were now speeding up the access ramp way too fast. I guess being dead was a great excuse to miss Sunday supper.
I cowered in the seat and squeezed my thighs together as we crossed two more lanes of semi-busy traffic and came to a screeching halt on the other side of the traffic light. Amazingly, my pants were still dry. I think.
The only other sound was our heavy breathing and the blare of horns from a bunch of very un-amused drivers.
“Get out!”
I slowly turned to look at my mother, who I was sure had just gone over the edge. She sat hunched over the steering wheel, gasping for air, her face three shades of red. And her hair was mussed.
“But ...but,” I sputtered. I was facing a good two-mile walk! Not undoable, but definitely not fun!
“I’ve done my best for you, but I’m through! I even tried to get Allan, bless his heart, to give you another chance.”
Me another chance? “Holy shit! Are you shitting me?!”
“Despite your...increased size,” she continued, wrinkling her nose at me, “and newly acquired potty mouth, he was willing to give it another go until your little announcement.”
That was it!
I leaned back in the leather seat, trying to form words around the scream building in my throat, so I could tell her exactly what I thought of her and Allan. “If you want him in the family so bad, why don’t you divorce Daddy and marry him? God knows why poor Daddy keeps you around, a
nyway. You make the Wicked Witch of the West look like a saint. My God, Mother, has your bridge club taken up smoking crack in between games? Have you lost your fucking mind?”
I clambered out of my seatbelt and nearly fell in my haste to get out of the car. “And I’m taking you off my Christmas Card list!” Dissatisfied with the lack of noise her BMW made when I slammed the door, I shot her the bird for good measure.
I forced one foot in front of the other and never looked back while behind me tires squealed and horns blared.
I needed the exercise anyway.
By the time I limped through my front door, my Timex read nearly nine and it was full dark out. My feet hurt and I was sweating like the proverbial stuck pig. The ringing phone wasn’t nearly as important as my near-to-bursting bladder. I kicked off my sandals with a sigh of relief, letting the cool tile ease some of the sting from my poor abused feet, and hustled through the kitchen into the downstairs bathroom.
The phone quit ringing, and my little house was dark and silent as a tomb. With a sigh, I locked the front door and hobbled to the kitchen on aching feet. Two glasses of water later, I thought I might live long enough to crawl into a cool shower. Then the phone started up again.
“Hello,” I croaked, sagging against the counter.
“Are you okay?”
“Robbie?” I sighed with relief, got myself another glass of water and slowly walked over and sank into a kitchen chair. My calves were screaming.
“Yeah, you didn’t answer your cell.”
“It’s somewhere in the bottom of my purse.”
“How’d things go with your mom?”
“We had a fight.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine. Perfect even. She's gone. That's all that matters.” Despite the fact I was the proud owner of a nice set of blisters—on both feet.
“Listen, don’t worry about Sunday. I’ll explain everything to the family, but I would like to see you. I think we need to talk.”
And set up a time to have sex on the horse. I shivered in the cool air, sure it was from the drying sweat.