by Jessica Sims
He snorted. “Then they are fools.”
I clicked past a few more channels, ignoring his sounds of protest as we passed by interesting item after interesting item. But I needed to find kissing, darn it. Why was it that I couldn’t find anything remotely romantic at three in the morning? I looked over at Hugh, who was shoveling General Tso into his mouth, his wide eyes fixed on the TV as someone held up a hand mixer on a shopping channel.
I glanced at my small DVD collection, but I didn’t see anything that screamed sexy moments. Time for desperate measures. I clicked over to a paid channel and selected the first porno that came up. “We’re only going to watch the first few minutes of this, okay?”
“What is it?”
“You’ll see,” I told him and clicked Play.
I winced as cheesy music filled the room and a pizza boy walked down the hall of an apartment building. I wanted to cover my face with shame over the cliché, but I snuck a peek at Hugh instead. He watched, rapt, no longer eating, as the pizza guy rang the doorbell and began to converse with the scantily clad blonde who answered the door.
Then his eyes bugged.
I stifled my giggle at his look of shock and peeked at the TV again. Sure enough, the blonde had the pizza boy by the collar of his shirt and was dragging him into her apartment, her mouth locked on his. There was lots of tongue, and deep, breathless moans coming from both of them as they smooched loudly and made tons of noise. The girl kept making this high-pitched whimper in her throat as she kissed the man. The sound both embarrassed me and fascinated me, and I felt my monster prickle. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold it back and glanced over at Hugh.
His eyes had narrowed, and he stared at the TV so hard that his face was drawn into stark lines of concentration.
For some reason, that made my changeling side prickle harder, and I felt my body begin to ache with the need to transform. I quickly lifted the remote to turn the TV off again.
Hugh stilled me, careful to grasp my sleeve and not touch my skin. “I want to see.” His gaze remained locked on the TV screen.
I lowered my hand and left the TV on, but I didn’t look at the screen. I couldn’t look at it any longer. I stared at Hugh instead, trying to blot out the noises coming from the TV as I watched his profile.
He was utterly fascinated, his eyes shining with the reflection from the screen, every muscle locked rigidly in place as he continued to watch.
It occurred to me that this might have been his first experience with any sort of sexuality, given that his people—the primordials—had no women in their little dimension. I wasn’t sure that a porno flick should be his gateway to carnal knowledge, but I didn’t know what else to do.
“Yeah, you like that, slut?” one of the voices on the TV said.
That caught my attention, and wide-eyed, I turned back to the screen. The man on camera had his pants unzipped and his dick out. The woman was kneeling in front of him, and as I watched in a mixture of arousal and horror, he took his penis and smacked her face with it.
“You want that, slut?” the man asked again, and the woman on TV moaned and rubbed her face against him.
I felt a hot pulse scorch through my body. “I can’t sit here,” I told Hugh and jerked to my feet. It was too awkward. And arousing. One touch from Hugh and my wings would burst out of my back. I left the remote on the couch.
If Hugh noticed my hasty retreat, he certainly didn’t follow.
I suspected I wouldn’t see him until the movie was over. I shook my head to clear it. A nice, cold shower, and then I was off to bed. I’d try my hardest not to think any more about Hugh watching porn in my living room, his eyes gleaming catlike as he watched people fuck on-screen.
I certainly tried not to think about what would have happened if I’d stayed in the room with him. Would he have looked over at me at some point? Wanted to try something out? My breath quickened and I touched my cheek . . . and imagined him feeling my ugly scales.
Sadness washed over me. Yeah. Not in this lifetime.
Chapter Nine
My calendar was all messed up, thanks to the missing days, but I prioritized things, and first on the list was a make-up lunch with my bestie, Marie.
Marie Bellavance was a few years older than me and pretty much my polar opposite. She was snarky and sarcastic, where I was cheery and happy. I liked makeup and cutesy things. Marie wore big nerd glasses, did nothing with her dark, curly hair, and had the most boring wardrobe possible. She also cussed like a sailor, always in French. And as of last month, she was a newly turned were-cougar.
But I absolutely loved Marie. I’d adored her since she’d first walked into Midnight Liaisons. Despite her sour personality, she was a blast to be around. She had a sharp mind and a sharper tongue, and I’d loved watching her wield it against the unsuspecting. Sitting across from her every night at work had made the time pass fast, and we’d had so much fun together. During slow periods, we’d chatted for hours about everything in the world.
Marie also knew my secret side. After a client had gotten a bit too fresh with me once and mistaken my casual flirting for genuine attraction, he’d grabbed my hand. I’d twisted free and retreated to the back conference room while Marie had shown him out, and she’d caught me mid-change. Instead of flipping out, she’d calmly shut the door again and waited until I’d returned, then she’d asked me if I’d needed a drink of water. I’d begged and pleaded for her not to say anything, and we’d made our first pinky swear that night. I hadn’t realized that Marie’s dark, sad eyes had been so accepting because she’d had secrets of her own, and when she’d gotten sicker and sicker, I’d realized that I could keep her secrets, too.
Those mutual secrets had cemented our bond. And even though Marie had been fired from the agency and was now working as Beau’s personal assistant, we were still best friends. I missed seeing her sitting across from me every night, though. Savannah was a sweet girl, and quiet, but she wasn’t Marie. Work hadn’t felt the same since Marie had left.
Now that Marie worked days and I was still stuck on nights, we didn’t have the chance to get together as often as we’d have liked. Our regular weekly lunches were to catch up on gossip that was too long to text to each other. Today’s lunch, though, was to catch up on everything since I’d been flaking out on her. She didn’t want to wait for our normal date to get filled in, and I didn’t blame her.
For our meeting, I’d changed into floral jean capris and a pink sweater crop top (with matching pink sandals, of course). My blond hair was twisted into two topknots, and I’d paired my ensemble with my favorite Hello Kitty purse.
The only thing marring my cute perfection?
My big, scary shadow, Hugh, who’d was coming to lunch with me.
Between text messages, Marie and I had agreed to meet someplace slightly different for lunch today—a café in the mall. I hoped I could give Hugh a few dollars and turn him loose so he could explore while I chatted with my friend. Surely I’d be completely safe out in public, right?
Hugh wasn’t buying it.
“No,” he said when I sweetly suggested that he take off.
“Just for an hour,” I pleaded. “Come on.”
“No.”
“I’m going to be in the middle of a busy café. It’s not like anyone’s going to try anything. You don’t have to hover over me!”
“That is my job.” He frowned as I slung my purse over my shoulder. “It is especially important I hover today.”
“Why?”
“Your clothing is inappropriate.”
Was he joking? I glanced down at my outfit. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing? It’s cute.”
He ran a hand over his mouth. “Your . . . stomach is exposed.”
“I know.” I wiggled a little in display. I had a nice stomach . . . in human form anyhow. “That happens when you wear a crop t
op.”
“It will be . . . enticing to men.” He couldn’t stop staring at my stomach.
My skin prickled and I was reminded that I’d left him last night in the company of a porno flick. What had he seen? What was he thinking? I felt my monster surge and fought it back. “All this modesty coming from a man who tends to walk around naked?”
To my surprise, he scowled. “That is different.”
“Don’t go all chauvinist on me, Hugh. I’m allowed to wear what I want.”
“And I am allowed to stay at your side.”
I sighed. “If I wear something more modest, do you promise to leave me alone for a few hours?”
“No.”
“Then the crop top stays.”
“As do I.”
I took a long, steadying breath and jingled my car keys at him, knowing I wasn’t going to get anywhere. “Then come on. I don’t want to be late, and we’re going to need to set you up nearby without freaking Marie out.”
As we drove to the mall, both of us were silent. It wasn’t like me to remain quiet when I could flirt, but things were feeling weirdly awkward with Hugh. For starters, he’d watched porn last night. His first porn. I’d never made it through one myself, because even a few seconds of a skin flick gave me the uncomfortable urge to transform, and I loathed the helpless feeling that gave me.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t envious of his porn watching. I was so curious. Had it been sexy? Had he been aroused by watching it? Had he mentally taken notes for things to do to his mate when he got her?
And then I pictured him giving a tall, feline-looking woman those deep tongue kisses like in the movie, and I frowned to myself. I didn’t want to think about that. For some reason, the thought irritated me. Maybe because by him getting his mate, I’d be completely screwed over.
It didn’t seem fair. For him to get his fantasy, I was going to have to live a nightmare. I glanced over at Hugh as I drove and found his gaze on me more than once. Each time I saw it, though, he jerked away again, as if embarrassed to be caught.
And it made me wonder.
The local mall wasn’t all that busy at lunchtime on a weekday. There was a moderate crowd, and I parked the car and headed in. Hugh got a few stares, but I guessed it was mostly due to his size and not his slightly furry arms and legs, or his fangs and catlike eyes. I knew those were there, but strangers might not think anything of it unless they stood very close to him. With Hugh’s intimidating size, that wasn’t likely.
“Now here’s the thing,” I told him as we entered the café fifteen minutes early. It was a cheery little chain bistro with tiny tables and lots of kitsch on the walls. It wasn’t a favorite of mine, but we couldn’t have picked a better place to blend in. I scanned the room and headed to the back, Hugh trailing a step behind me. There was a big crowd, thanks to lunch, but I managed to find two tables reasonably close together. “You can’t sit with me or you’re going to drive me insane. So I need you to sit at this table here.” I pointed at an empty table in the corner. “And I’m going to sit here.”
The table I pointed at for myself was two tables away.
Hugh frowned. “No.”
I turned and gave him an exasperated look. “Come on. I’m in earshot. You’ll be able to hear everything we say without hovering over me like an overprotective mother hen. Meanwhile, I’m going to have some semblance of privacy. Understand? I need this or I’m going to lose my cool.”
He studied me for a long moment, then gave a short nod. “Very well.”
I gave his shoulder a happy little squeeze through his sleeve. “Thank you, Hugh! You are the best.”
Hugh gave me a gruff nod and sat at the table, looking momentarily lost. He picked up the napkin roll of silverware and examined it curiously.
“Just sit here and order some food,” I told him. “Tell them I’ll pay for your bill.” I reached over the table to pull the menu out, and when I leaned back, I noticed that Hugh jerked backward as well, his nostrils flaring. “Did . . . did you just sniff my hair?”
He wouldn’t look at me. Instead, he glared at the menu I handed him.
That made me feel a little . . . funny. Fluttery. “The menu has pictures,” I told him breathlessly. “Just point at something that looks good and don’t worry about the cost. The bathroom is across the room if you need it.” I hoped I wouldn’t have to show him how the flush handles worked—again.
“I’ll be fine,” he said in a low voice, his gaze flicking to my bare stomach.
Again that weird flutter in my stomach. My monster prickled but didn’t rise to the surface. Just nerves? Anxiety? Something. The way he was looking at me seemed very personal, though. And he hadn’t answered me when I’d asked him if he’d sniffed my hair.
Which meant that he had sniffed my hair and didn’t want to admit it.
I sat down at the nearby table, waiting for Marie and pretending to look over the menu. My thoughts were whirling, and I was distracted until Marie plunked into the seat across from me. “Earth to Ryder, come in, please. I’ve said hello to you twice.”
“Oh!” I jerked up and hastily slapped the menu down. “Sorry. I was lost in thought. Hey, girl.”
“Clearly.” Marie grinned and tossed her messy hair back over her shoulder. “Good to see you, silly. Where’ve you been hiding out?”
“Hiding out?” I asked absently.
“You disappeared for days,” she said with a frown. “Didn’t answer my calls or texts or anything. I was worried sick.”
“Oh. Stuff came up.” I wiggled my pinky at her.
“Stuff,” she said blankly, unrolling her silverware and giving me a skeptical look that said she clearly didn’t believe my too-simple answer. “You have a lot on your mind or something?”
“Something like that,” I said.
Her nostrils twitched, and she rubbed her nose. “You smell like cat. I don’t know what kind, but cat, definitely.” She lifted her head and glanced around. “A cat that’s here.” Her gaze scanned the room and stopped two tables over, on Hugh. Then her gaze whipped back to me. “Don’t tell me that you’re hooking up with Tall, Dark, and Behemoth over there?”
“I’m not hooking up with anyone,” I whispered. “You know that.”
“But that’s who you needed the change of clothes for the other day?” She peered at me from over the glasses sliding down her nose. “That guy?”
I gave her a helpless look and stuck my pinky out.
She sighed heavily. “Voyons. I’m starting to hate the pinky swears.” She hooked her pinky in mine, though. “So tell me about work. How’s Savannah doing?”
“When she’s there, she’s fine,” I said. “But she’s been really sick with the pregnancy. I came in the other day and Everett was filling in. I don’t think he was a big fan of it, either.”
She chuckled, glancing over the menu. “No, I guess not.”
The waiter arrived, a teen girl that was all smiles. “Hi, what can I get you ladies to drink?”
Marie ordered a water, and I took a coffee, then gestured at Hugh’s table. “I’m paying for that one, too.”
“Oh.” The waitress gave me a confused look. “Okay. I’ll be back in a minute to get your orders, then.” She sauntered over to Hugh’s table and greeted him.
Marie pushed her glasses up her nose and gave me a skeptical look. “Call me crazy, but did you hire a gigolo or something to solve your little problem?”
“What? No! You are crazy.” And God, that made me blush. Not only because it was embarrassing but also because I was pretty sure I was going to have to explain gigolo to Hugh later. “It’s a long story. But I’m paying for his meal, and no, I won’t say more than that.”
“Oookay,” Marie said. “So let’s go back to Savannah. She talking to Connor yet?”
“Only when she has to. At least that’s my un
derstanding.”
“Poor guy. Poor Savannah, too. He’s miserable with love for her and she’s just miserable.” Marie shook her head. “Beau’s all tied up in knots about it, too.”
“Why? Savannah’s his cousin.” I didn’t understand why Beau—who had a nice, sweet human wife in Bathsheba—would be so very stressed about Savannah’s love life. “She’s an adult, right? She can date who she wants.”
“Yeah, but Connor’s a wolf. You know how tense things are with them ever since the Sara thing.”
“Ah.” As I was human, no one had ever given me tons of details on the “Sara thing,” but from what I could tell, one of the nearby wolf packs had tried to claim Bath’s sister, Sara, as their own.
It had gone over about as well as could be expected. Some wolves had been exiled, pack leaders had changed, Sara remained free, and most Alliance members gave werewolves an even wider berth than before. Wolves were not well liked in Alliance territory.
Which made it harder for Savannah, because she’d gone into heat a few months ago and had been impregnated by Connor. A wolf. It was all really messy. From what I could tell, Connor was desperately in love with Savannah, and Savannah resented Connor for knocking her up.
Yeah. Complicated.
“Beau wants the wolves to be welcome so they can continue to make inroads with the packs, but the whole Savannah-Connor thing is still unresolved, and with Sara’s history with the packs, it’s just a weird time right now. Beau just tenses up every time we get a call from a local wolf, though most of them are benign sorts of questions.” She shrugged. “I can tell when a problem is wolf-related just by the stress lines in his forehead.”
“Do you like working for him?” I asked her as the waitress stopped by and dropped off our drinks, then took our orders. I had a salad, and Marie ordered the same. She’d told me that meat sometimes made it difficult to control her new shifter side, so she went vegetarian when she could. I understood that. I lived a life of avoiding triggers.
“I do,” Marie admitted once the waitress was gone. “Bath’s there so often and I see so many of the same people that it’s almost like being in the office again, except I’m working days now instead of nights, and you aren’t there.” She gave me a sad frown and pantomimed a tear going down her cheek.