Rhiannon

  ‘I’m sorry, Auntie Ethel, I don’t mean to. Mr Jenkins has been so kind to me. You must know that I don’t for one moment think that he would... ?’

  ‘I know, child. And that’s the thing, not all men are evil. What I’d like you to do for me before you go to sleep tonight is to close your eyes and think of every man you’ve had anything to do with since leaving the valley and assess each of them fairly – will you do that for me?’

  ‘Yes, Auntie Ethel, I will.’

  Later that night Mair lay in bed and closed her eyes and tried to picture every man she’d met over the past months. As instructed by Ethel, she began to assess each in turn. The first man to come to mind was Walter Cahill, the larger than life, kindly, American who insisted on pronouncing her name ‘Mayre’. Mair smiled: he was one of the least evil men she knew. Next, Gus Davenport: although he seemed something of a thoughtless jack-the-lad, the way he left Rhi and all, he could never be thought of as evil. The fact that Rhiannon still loved him proved that. Next, there was Adam Fletcher: look how kind and generous he’d been, in putting up the money to set her free. Next came John Jenkins, a really good man who had welcomed her into his home without a second thought. Yes, Ethel had been right; the only evil men she’d met were Harry and Jake.

  Her thoughts then went to Frank Lewis, the sweetest, kindest man she’d ever known. A man who had this way about him, to make her feel warm inside and safe in the knowledge that he would never hurt her.

  But what did it matter how she felt? She was barely fourteen and pregnant ... what man would want a shop-soiled girl like her anyway? No, the sooner she faced up to the fact that her life was totally ruined, the better.

  Mair decided to hold back from speaking to Ethel until Frank had returned to barracks.

  It was just getting dark. John Jenkins had lit the gas lamps and stoked up the fire with coal. Mair was sitting next to him with Ethel, Martha and Sadie at the kitchen table awaiting Frank’s homecoming. A intricately embroidered white cotton tablecloth covered the table, which was heavily laden with plates of corned beef, ham, home-made bread and a tin of freshly baked Welsh-cakes.

  Ethel’s eyes stared at the kitchen clock. ‘The next charabanc from Pontrhyl railway station should be arriving on Ponty Square any time now, with our Frank on it.’

  ‘Now, Ethel love, don’t go building your hopes up. We can’t know for sure that the lad even managed to make his connection from Cardiff, now can we?’

  Ethel sighed. ‘No. But it seems such a long time since I’ve seen him.’

  ‘Well, I for one hope he’s not too long. I’m starving,’ Martha groaned.

  ‘I’m sure Frank won’t be long. While we’re waiting, why don’t you tell your mother and Mair what a grand day you’ve both had?’ John Jenkins suggested.

  ‘Mam, it was great,’ Sadie said excitedly. ‘The customers were so kind to us. Mrs Williams the farm gave us both a sugared almond and Dai – the fruit man, an apple each.’

  ‘I hope you both remembered your manners and said thank you,’ Ethel said.

  ‘Yes, you’ve no worries on that score. They were both a credit to you and it was a joy to have them in the shop.’ John Jenkins threw his wife a warm smile. ‘It felt good to show off my new family.’

  At that moment the back door opened and they all jumped to their feet. Frank entered and for a while time seemed to stand still. Dressed in his new khaki uniform, with his smart military cap – proudly sporting the plumed coronet of the Prince of Wales, held under his arm, he looked so ... grand and so ... grown up and somehow so ... out of place.

  ‘Good to have you home, son,’ a tearful Ethel said, throwing her arms around him.

  John Jenkins reached out and shook Frank’s hand. ‘Your mother’s right,’ he said. ‘It’s so good to have you back. I know it’s early days but I hope in time you can think of this house as home.’

  ‘Rest assured, home to me will always be where my mam and the girls are.’ Frank reached over and affectionately ruffled both girls’ hair. He flashed Mair a wicked smile and added, ‘and Mair of course.’

  Mair blushed. ‘It’s good to see you Frank. And don’t you look grand?’

  ‘Well now, I could say the same about you. I must say, Mair, you look so much better than when I left. I do believe that, at last, you’re starting to fill out,’ Frank enthused.

  Mair quickly pulled her shawl over the small bump that was her belly. ‘Have I? I hadn’t noticed,’ she lied.

  ‘She has, hasn’t she, Mam?’ Frank persisted.

  Ethel Jenkins eyed Mair up and down, her eyes stopping at Mair’s hands shielding her belly. ‘Well, now that you mention it, yes son. Seeing her everyday, I must admit I hadn’t noticed.’

  ‘Didn’t I tell you, Mair, how hard it would be to resist my mother’s home cooking? Teasing apart, it’s so good to see you looking so well.’ Frank beamed a smile.

  Mair felt her colour rise.

  ‘Can we eat now?’ Martha pleaded.

  After tea, having spent the past hour trying to avoid catching Ethel’s eye, Mair asked to be excused from the table and, on the pretence of needing a lie-down, went to her room. Less than an hour later came the knock on the door that she had been dreading.

  ‘Come in,’ Mair reluctantly called.

  A solemn-looking Ethel Jenkins entered.

  For a while they just stared at each other; then, almost in unison:

  ‘Mair... .’ Ethel said.

  ‘Aunt Ethel... .’ Mair said.

  Mair gave a nervous laugh. ‘Aunt Ethel, please let me speak first.’

  Ethel nodded.

  Mair touched her belly. ‘You’ve guessed, haven’t you?’

  ‘Yes, child. And I feel daft for not having noticed before. Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘I planned to tell you this evening but ... when you told me that Frank was on his way, well, I didn’t want to spoil his homecoming.’

  ‘Mair love, Frank, like the rest of us, will understand that the condition you find yourself in is through no fault of your own.’

  ‘Pl-ease, you can’t tell him! I just couldn’t bear it!’ Mair pleaded.

  ‘But surely you must realize that sooner or later it’ll become obvious to all?’

  ‘I know. But does Frank really have to know today?’ Mair begged.

  ‘No, I suppose another few days wouldn’t hurt. If it makes you feel better I’ll delay telling him until he’s due to leave. Will that suit you?’

  Mair gave a sigh of relief. ‘Thank you.’ She felt that any delay, however short, would give her a few days’ grace at least to enjoy Frank’s visit.

  ‘We’ll need to let Rhiannon know,’ Ethel said.

  ‘Couldn’t it wait until the end of her tour? After all, there’s nothing she, or anybody else for that matter, can do to change things.’

  ‘I think she’d feel hurt to be the last to know, don’t you?’

  ‘What harm could a couple of weeks do, eh?’

  ‘Bloody hell, Mam – sorry, I know you don’t like to hear me swearing but ... a baby? It’s so unfair. Hasn’t that poor girl been through enough? If only I could get my hands on those responsible I’d—’

  ‘You’d just get yourself in trouble. That’s what you’d do! I’m afraid what’s done is done and what we need to do now is what’s best for Mair. Raking up old coals is the last thing she needs!’ Ethel admonished.

  ‘I know you’re right. Has Rhiannon been told?’ Frank asked.

  ‘No. Not yet. Mair wants to delay telling her until nearer the end of the tour and part of me agrees with her. I thought ... now say no if you don’t want to, but I thought you’d maybe find out where the tour ends and pay Rhiannon a visit. I’d write to her, but it just doesn’t seem right to give such news in a letter. What do you think?’

  ‘Leave it to me, Mam. Now, if it’s all right with you, before I leave I’d like to call and say so long to Mair.’

  ‘Tread softly, son. The lass obviously thinks a lot of you
. Why, she almost begged me not to tell you about her condition.’

  ‘Truth be known, Mam, I think a lot of her, too.’

  ‘Well, all I ask is, be honest with her; don’t go sending her mixed messages, she’s far too vulnerable to deal with it,’ Ethel warned.

  ‘I won’t, Mam, I promise,’ Frank assured her.

  Frank knocked on Mair’s bedroom door several times, but there was no answer. ‘Mair – Mair, please open the door.’

  ‘She’s told you, hasn’t she?’ Mair sobbed from behind the door.

  ‘Yes, I know about the baby, if that’s what you mean. And as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t change anything between us. Mair, love, I have to leave in a few minutes and I don’t know when I’ll be able to make it back. Please, don’t let me go without seeing you.’

  The door slowly opened and a tearful Mair stood at the door. Seconds later Frank’s open arms engulfed her and he was gently kissing her forehead. ‘Mair, trust me when I tell you that, while I’ve strength in my body, no one will ever hurt you again. You’re not alone in this. Whatever it takes, we’ll get through it – together.’

  With Frank’s strong arms around her and, hearing his heartfelt words, Mair once again felt totally safe.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  December 1909

  It was 4.30 and the afternoon was closing in. The cool overcast day was replaced by a biting cold wind when Rhiannon and Clara turned up to band-call for the pre-show rehearsal at the Cwmbran memorial hall. Both of them were dressed in long winter coats, woollen hats and mufflers.

  Clara was first to spot the young soldier, leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette. ‘Well now, what have we here? If you’re a stage door Johnny you’re a bit too early. The show doesn’t start until half past seven, so you’ve a long wait,’ she mocked.

  ‘Frank, is that you? My, don’t you look grand in your uniform?’ Rhiannon cried, throwing her arms around him.’ She felt his body tense and, feeling somewhat embarrassed, she immediately stepped away. ‘Clara, this is my good friend Frank Lewis. You’ve heard me talk about him often enough.’

  Clara offered her hand. ‘I’m Clara Boxall, and pleased to meet you, I’m sure.’ She deliberately kept hold of his hand. Then turning to Rhiannon, she said, ‘You never told me that your Frank was so good-looking and a soldier to boot! You know what a sucker I am for a man in uniform. If he wasn’t such a good friend of yours I’d make a pass at him here and now.’ She chuckled to herself. Frank visibly blushed.

  ‘Clara. Will you stop embarrassing him and get yourself on into the hall. I’ll be along shortly. Now, go away!’

  ‘Sadly, I know that three’s a crowd, so I’ll leave you friends alone to catch up. Duty calls and all that. Maybe another time – another place, eh, soldier boy?’

  As she turned to leave she threw him a wicked wink.

  ‘Pleased to have met you,’ Frank muttered awkwardly.

  ‘Sorry about that. She’s got a heart of gold, really,’ Rhiannon apologized. After the way he’d reacted to her impulsive embrace Clara’s innocent teasing, suggesting that Frank and Rhi were more than friends, was the last thing Rhiannon needed. She had to clear the air somehow.

  Rhiannon sucked in a breath of cold air and shivered. ‘Frank, it’s far too cold to talk out here. Let’s go inside. We can use Adam’s office. I’m sure he won’t mind.’

  Frank smiled. ‘You’re right, it’s cold enough to freeze the whatnots off a brass monkey.’

  Rhiannon giggled. ‘Whatnots? There’s polite you’re being.’

  ‘Lady present, isn’t there?’

  Rhiannon bobbed a curtsy. ‘Why, thank you, kind sir.’

  They both laughed.

  Once inside Adam’s office, Rhiannon lit the gas heater and turned to Frank. ‘It really is so good to see you. And I’m so glad that, after your mother’s wedding, we got things sorted out between us. Frank ... we did get things sorted out, didn’t we?’

  Frank smiled and nodded. ‘Yes. But I wasn’t entirely truthful with you.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Back home. The thing is that when Mair told you that I was besotted with you, she actually hit the nail right on the head.’

  ‘Fr-Frank, if I’ve in any way led you to believe... .’

  ‘Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve known for ages that you didn’t feel the same way about me.’

  ‘I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Please don’t reproach yourself. I’m over it, I promise. In fact you did me a favour – but enough of that.’ Frank wanted to tell her of his growing feelings for Mair, but stopped himself – this was neither the time nor the place. ‘One thing’s for sure; while I never had the pleasure of meeting Gus Davenport in person, in my mind he was a fool to leave you the way he did.’

  ‘I really don’t want to talk about it. Maybe one day, eh? Anyway, it’s so nice to see you. We’re here in the Newport area for the next two days, before spending our final week in Swansea. How long can you stay?’

  ‘Rhi, this isn’t a social call. I’m afraid I can only stay for a few hours and then I have to catch the train straight back to barracks. A few of the lads have promised to cover for me. If the CO, that’s the commanding officer, were to find out that I’m AWOL – absent without leave – I’d be up on a charge.’

  ‘I don’t understand. What could be so important to make you risk getting into trouble? Is something wrong at home with the family or ... Mair?’ The look on his face said it all. ‘That’s it! It’s Mair, isn’t it? When I’d been so long without a letter from them I had a feeling something was wrong!’

  ‘My mother thought it best to give you the news face to face, like. She thought, with your tour coming to an end and you, no doubt, eager to get back to the valley to see Mair, she felt you should be warned... .’

  ‘Frank will you stop babbling on and tell me what’s wrong?’

  Taking a deep breath Frank said, ‘Mair – Mair’s pregnant!’

  ‘Oh, no, please, not that?’

  ‘I’m afraid so – the result of that dreadful night at Harry and Nellie’s apartment.’

  ‘That means she must be almost six months gone!’

  Frank nodded.

  ‘Did she know before we left Cardiff?’

  ‘I’m not sure. She was nearly three months when my mother and I first found out. You had already left the valley by then.’

  ‘If you’ve both known for three months, why wasn’t I told before now?’

  ‘Mair made us promise to delay telling you.’

  ‘Why? Surely she didn’t think I’d judge or turn away from her ... did she?’

  ‘No – nothing like that. She thought that if you heard the news earlier you’d want to be with her. She didn’t want you to leave the tour and maybe endanger your career prospects on her account.’

  Rhiannon bit her lip. Mair hadn’t wanted her to leave the tour on her account? Or was the real reason that Mair couldn’t face the fact of Rhiannon, once again, choosing her career before her? Rhiannon remembered back to when she and Mair had first arrived in Cardiff; of how her Aunt Florrie, when faced with the question of letting them stay, had made it perfectly clear that ‘my career has to come first’.

  ‘I’ve become as selfish as my Aunt Florrie,’ Rhiannon said aloud.

  ‘I’m sorry?’ Frank said.

  ‘Ignore me, I’m just thinking aloud.’

  ‘Rhi, I have to go. But look, there’s no great hurry. No one’s expecting you back in the valley until a week before Christmas, when the tour ends so—’

  ‘So they’re all in for a surprise then, aren’t they? I’ll need to clear it with Adam but, if all goes well, I should be at your mother’s house in time for tea tomorrow evening.’

  Frank beamed a smile. ‘And a welcome sight you’ll be too.’

  ‘Adam? There’s no easy way to say this but ... I’m going to have to leave the show.’

  ‘You’re joking, yeah?’

  ‘No, I’m afrai
d not. I need to get back to the valley. You know I wouldn’t leave unless I felt it absolutely necessary. With only ten days to go before the end of the tour – I’m sure that Clara is more than capable of filling in for me.’

  ‘The audiences are expecting you!’

  ‘I’m sorry. I really am. But I have to go,’ Rhiannon persisted.

  ‘At least tell me why?’

  Although not wishing to announce Mair’s predicament to the world she felt that Adam, having been instrumental in saving Mair from Harry and Nellie’s clutches, had the right to know the truth. So feeling it best not to beat around the bush or babble on as Frank had done, she found herself blurting out, ‘Mair’s pregnant!’

  ‘What dreadful news, Rhi. I assume it’s in consequence of that awful night.’

  ‘Yes. According to Frank she’s nearly six months gone.’

  ‘Frank came to tell you? Where is he? I’d like to see him. He’s such a nice, sensible lad. The night we picked up Mair, he was to be commended. I could never have managed it without him.’

  ‘I’m afraid he couldn’t stay as he needed to get back to barracks. He sends his regards, though.’

  ‘No doubt there’ll be other times. Now – regarding your situation. You get yourself off to Mair and don’t give the show another thought. Just you take good care of her.’

  ‘Thank you, Adam. This time, taking good care of her is what I intend to do – if she’ll let me, that is.’

  ‘And why wouldn’t she?’

  ‘Well, I’ve not always done so in the past, have I? Too busy putting myself, my career, my life and even Gus before her.’

  ‘My Gus turned your head. He made you—’

  Rhiannon raised her hand, cutting him short. ‘Adam, when are you going to stop blaming Gus? How many times do I have to tell you that what happened between us was as much my fault as his? It’s time to face the truth; I wanted him as much as he wanted me. You have to stop putting me on some sort of pedestal – I’m a big girl now.’