by Kendrick, Sharon; Lawrence, Kim; Crews, Caitlin; Milburne, Melanie
Allegra pulled his head back down. ‘Read my lips.’
CHAPTER EIGHT
DRACO HADN’T HAD a holiday for months, so he kept telling himself that was why he was feeling so relaxed after a week sailing around the islands. He’d chosen a couple of private hideaways he was familiar with where he and Allegra had swum in quiet coves with the fish darting below them or had lain on pristine beaches.
But, if he were honest with himself, he knew it was because Allegra was proving to be the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. Maybe ever. He woke each morning with a tick of excitement in his blood. Not just because the sex they had was getting better and better, but because the companionship they’d developed had settled into friendship unlike he’d had before with anyone else. He looked forward to discussing things with her—current affairs or business things that came through on email. She had a good mind and sound common sense and he enjoyed listening to her take on current issues. They had cooked together, read together, walked, swam and snorkelled together.
And made love.
Draco couldn’t quite bring himself to call it sex any more. Weird, because sex was supposed to be sex. It always had been in the past. But with Allegra it was something more. Something more cerebral…even—dared he say it?—emotional.
He shied away from the thought and where it was leading. It wasn’t love but physical bonding. It happened when the sex was particularly good. His body craved hers. Hungered for her closeness. Got restless when she wasn’t nearby.
It was his hormones going crazy.
Nothing else.
Speaking of hormones, he hadn’t returned to the subject of children. He still wasn’t entirely sure why he’d brought it up when he had. When proposing, he had brought it up as a test to see what her plans were on the issue. But lately, he’d started to wonder if Allegra was projecting a cover-up opinion. He’d wanted to make sure he wasn’t doing the wrong thing by her by tying her to a childless marriage. But she remained adamant that having a family was not on her horizon. It hadn’t been on his either, but for some strange reason he kept thinking about it. He had no living close relative. It hadn’t used to bother him but now it kept niggling at him. He was getting a taste of fatherhood with Yanni and it wasn’t always pretty.
Did he have what it took to be a good father? His father had been a great dad. Hard-working and committed to him no matter what life had thrown his way. But his father had been killed tragically and life had been tough without a father to guide him. Tougher than he wanted any kid of his to experience…
But if Draco suggested he and Allegra have a child it would change everything about their arrangement. Make it more permanent. The only trouble was…
He didn’t do permanent.
* * *
When Allegra came up on deck the last morning of their trip, she slipped her arm around Draco’s waist and smiled up at him before looking at the sun rising over the water in a golden wash of glittering light. ‘So beautiful.’
He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. ‘I think so.’
She looked up into his dark gaze and wondered how she had ever thought she’d hated him. The last few days had been some of the most relaxing and enjoyable of her life. She couldn’t remember a time when she had felt more in tune with her body. Not just its sexual needs but in terms of general health and well-being. She had energy, she slept well and she woke up feeling refreshed and excited about the day and what delights Draco had planned.
But now Allegra was starting to dread the thought of going back to the real world. The world where work, long hours and difficult people sawed at her nerves, kept her awake at night and turned her stomach into a churning mess. ‘Do we really have to go back today? Why can’t we stay out here for ever?’
He drew her closer, his hands settling on her hips. ‘That would indeed be a dream. But duty calls, I’m afraid. I’ve already had five calls from various staff members over urgent matters. I shouldn’t have turned on my phone until after we berthed.’
Allegra toyed with the collar of his polo shirt, her hips resting in the cradle of his. Such intimacy seemed so natural now. Her body still leapt at his touch, her skin tingling and tightening when he gave her that look. The ‘I want to make love to you and make you scream with pleasure’ look that spoke to her womanhood and made it do cartwheels, handstands and backflips in excitement.
But, while the intimacy was fabulous, their communication could do with some work, especially over the last twenty-four hours. She had sensed a subtle withdrawing in him, as if he was only comfortable with being intimate sexually, but not emotionally. There was so much they hadn’t discussed in any detail about their relationship going forward. Where would they live? Would he expect her to move in with him? He had bought a new townhouse in Hampstead a year ago. Her little house in Bloomsbury was her pride and joy. She couldn’t imagine giving it up, as it was a symbol of her independence. The first place she had called home.
Her home.
She lifted her gaze back to his. ‘We haven’t talked about our living arrangements when we get back to London. Will you stay with me or at your place in London?’
‘Most married couples live together. But I don’t expect you to move out of your home.’
Allegra wasn’t sure what to make of Draco’s answer. Did it mean he wanted to keep separate accommodation? Why would that be? The doubts gathered like seagulls above a fishing vessel, circling her brain, looking for a place to land. Would he keep his house in London so he could keep his distance when it suited him? ‘So you plan to keep your place as well?’
‘It wouldn’t be a sound business move to sell just at this moment,’ he said. ‘I’ve recently spent a fortune on renovating it. But it’s not a decision I have to make right now. I’ll revisit in a year or so.’
How could she know for sure if that was his true reasoning? A business decision not a personal one? Was it a get-out clause? A back-up plan in case things didn’t go according to plan? Over the last few days Allegra had been lulled into thinking he was developing feelings for her. The way he talked to her, listened to her, laughed with her.
The way he made love to her.
Yes, made love.
It didn’t feel like ‘just sex’ to her. Not the way he worshipped her body, made it feel things it had never felt before, made her senses swoon and her heart lower its drawbridge.
She had fallen in love with him.
Not at first sight. Not since she was a teenager, but by degrees. Each time they made love the feelings would intensify. There was no denying them now.
She had fooled herself into thinking he would fall in love with her. Sooner. Later. Eventually. But how long was too long to wait? What if it never happened? What if he wasn’t capable of being open emotionally?
‘So, where will we go once we get back to London?’ Allegra asked. ‘Your place or mine?’
Draco slid his hand up between her shoulder blades and then under the curtain of her hair, cupping her nape. ‘I have to fly to Glasgow for a meeting later that day. I got an email a few minutes ago about it. I won’t be back for a couple of days so you’d be best to go to your place. I’ll catch up with you mid-week.’
Allegra thought they’d be flying back together but now he was shooting off to Scotland. But she refused to show her disappointment. It was unreasonable of her to expect his career to take a back seat when she had her own professional commitments that couldn’t be cancelled at short notice. It had been a logistical nightmare taking this week off as it was. But it worried her this would be an on-going pattern of their future relationship. How long before his ‘catch ups’ with her became not weekly, but monthly, or even less frequent? How long before he went from looking at her with those glinting ‘I want you’ eyes to avoiding her gaze altogether, as her father had to her mother when he’d come back fro
m a new mistress’s arms? ‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Fine.’
Draco inched up her chin, his gaze searching. ‘I know it’s not ideal. I wish you could come with me to Scotland but I know how hard it was for you to get this week off. It was the same for me. There will be constant compromises as we juggle two demanding careers. But we’ll figure it out as we go.’
Allegra stretched her mouth into a ‘I’m cool with that’ smile. ‘That’s what you get for marrying a career girl. You have to share her with her ambition.’
His thumb pad stroked over her beauty spot, his eyes still holding hers in a penetrating tether. ‘I have a feeling you’re not as ambitious as you make out.’
She forced herself not to shift her gaze but to hold his without wavering. How could he know how conflicted she felt about her career? She had barely acknowledged it to herself. She hadn’t even talked about it to Emily. She’d played the ‘career girl’ card for years. Work had always been her top priority. But if she interrupted her career path with a baby what would happen to her place on the ladder?
And did she even care?
Allegra slipped out of his hold and held on to the side of the yacht. ‘I haven’t even got time for a pet. I really don’t know how women do it—have a family and keep their career on track.’
He put his hands on her shoulders from behind, his body brushing hers with its warm, hard temptation. ‘These things have a way of working themselves out, glykia mou. Your circumstances might be completely different in a year or two.’
Yes, she would be divorced and single again.
Allegra turned around, her arms automatically going around his waist as if she had no will of her own to resist him. But then, she didn’t. Not one little bit of willpower. She leaned her head against Draco’s chest, his hand stroking the back of her head in a soothing motion. What if her body decided for her? She was on the pill but it was a low-dose one and she was woefully lax at taking it. They had made love numerous times now without a condom.
What if she was already pregnant with a honeymoon baby?
But, even if she was, it didn’t change the fact Draco didn’t love her. Not the way she wanted to be loved. Totally. Unconditionally. Bringing a baby into a marriage that wasn’t based on love would not be the best start in life for a child. Didn’t she see that every working day? Children traumatised by their parents’ arguing, or worse, marked for life with the memories of their care-givers at bitter war with each other, sometimes even after the divorce.
Didn’t she bear similar scars herself? Her parents hadn’t fought overtly with each other, but she had seen the stone-walling and cold-shoulder treatment from her mother and the pay-backs with affairs and long absences from her father. Was it any wonder she had issues with trust? Big issues?
Draco brought up her chin, his gaze meshing with hers. ‘We need to set sail soon if we’re going to get back in time for our flights out of Athens this evening.’ He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth and drew back to smile lopsidedly at her. ‘Back to the real world, ne?’
I can hardly wait.
* * *
Emily followed Allegra into her office first thing on Monday morning. ‘So, how was the honeymoon? Good? Bad? Sensational?’
Allegra put her tote bag and briefcase on the desk and gave her friend a prim look. ‘Since when have I told you intimate details about my sex life?’
Emily’s eyes twinkled like fairy lights. ‘You haven’t had one for the last year or more, so how could you? Did you do it with him?’
Allegra slipped off her jacket and hung it on the hook behind her door, hoping her hot cheeks weren’t giving her away. Every time she thought of Draco and the intense pleasure he’d evoked in her over the last week it made her blush from head to foot. ‘Isn’t that what couples on their honeymoon do?’
Emily plonked herself on the corner of Allegra’s desk, swinging her legs like an excited schoolgirl. ‘So what happened to the marriage of convenience?’
Allegra gave her a self-deprecating look. ‘It seems I have zero willpower when it comes to that man.’
Emily picked up a pen and examined it as though it were crucial evidence. ‘Yes, well, I’m inclined to agree with you, given his best friend is enough to make a ninety-year-old nun think twice about staying celibate.’
Allegra angled her head. ‘Don’t tell me you…?’
Emily dropped the pen and jumped down from the desk, her arms crossing over her body. ‘I don’t know what came over me—I swear I don’t. I’ve never had a one-night stand with a guy. Never, ever.’
Allegra looked at her friend in surprise. ‘You slept with Loukas Kyprianos?’
Emily winced. ‘Guilty, your honour.’
‘So, are you seeing him? Dating him?’
Emily bit her lip, the earlier brightness of her expression fading. ‘He didn’t even ask me for my number.’
‘Ouch.’
‘Yeah, big ouchy-ouch. I have terrible taste in men. Why do I always pick men way out of my league? No. Don’t say it. I know why. It’s because I have this ridiculous life script where the only man I want is the one I can’t have. I think my mum is right—I need therapy.’
I could do with some myself.
‘But it’s only been a week,’ Allegra said. ‘He might still get in contact with you. He could get your number easily enough through Draco or me.’
‘I’m not holding my breath,’ Emily said. ‘I may have sabotaged my chances with him anyway.’
‘How?’
She screwed up her mouth and nose in a bunny-rabbit twitch. ‘I talked too much. It was like that third champagne did something to my tongue. No wonder they call it truth serum. My mum would say it’s because I was subconsciously inviting rejection. You know how New Age-y she is.’
‘But what did you say to him?’
‘I told Loukas I wanted to get married before I turn thirty in March and I wanted four kids and an Irish retriever.’
‘What was his reaction?’
Emily rolled her eyes. ‘You would’ve thought I’d asked him to propose to me then and there. I might as well have put a gun to his head and said, “Marry me or I’ll shoot”. Although it pains me to admit it, my mother is right. I sabotaged what could have been a perfectly good relationship.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ Allegra said. ‘Draco told me Loukas isn’t the marrying type. His parents went through a bitter divorce when he was a kid. He said Loukas would never get married. He made quite a point of it, actually.’
Emily’s shoulders sagged. ‘I sure can pick them. I thought I’d learned my lesson after my disastrous relationship with Daniel.’ She sat down with a thump on the chair opposite Allegra’s desk. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t be dumping all my negative stuff on you. Tell me more about the honeymoon. Are you in love with Draco?’
Allegra avoided her friend’s gaze and sat down opposite, making a business of straightening her desk as though she had full-blown OCD. ‘It’s not that sort of marriage.’
‘Like hell it isn’t,’ Emily said. ‘You’ve been in love with him for years.’
‘I had a crush on him, that’s all—’
‘Crush, schmush.’ Emily’s playful smile came back. ‘You so do love him. Look at you. You’re positively glowing with oxytocin.’
Allegra could feel her cheeks warming up like hotplates on a cook-top. ‘Yes, well, Draco certainly knows his way around a woman’s body… Thing is, am I going to be enough for him? He doesn’t love me. He cares about me.’
Emily did her cute little bunny twitch again. ‘Oh…’
‘Not exactly what a girl wants to hear on her honeymoon.’
‘No, but words aren’t everything,’ Emily said. ‘Actions are what counts and it looks like you two have had plenty of that over the last week.’
‘He’s keepi
ng his own house in Hampstead.’
Emily blinked. ‘So? Aren’t you moving in with him?’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because that’s what brides do. They move in with their husbands.’
‘But I don’t want to move out of my house,’ Allegra said. ‘It’s my home and I don’t see why I should give it up just because my husband wants to live somewhere else. Women are the ones who always make all the compromises. And in the end they lose out. Big time.’
‘You’ve been working in this job way too long,’ Emily said. ‘Compromise is the key to a successful relationship. Not that I can talk, as I’ve not had one, personally. But I live in hope.’
Me too.
CHAPTER NINE
ALLEGRA GOT A phone call from Draco later that evening when she got home from work. She had been waiting on tenterhooks all day for his name to pop up on her screen, the little kick of excitement when it finally did making her realise how much she’d missed him in the last twenty-four hours. ‘Hi. How was your day?’
‘Don’t ask.’ His tone was flat and jaded. ‘I’ve got to fly to Russia in an hour. I’m at the airport now. I probably won’t be back until Friday. Sorry.’
‘Oh…that’s too bad. Is it something serious?’
‘Just business stuff.’
‘You can talk to me about it, you know,’ Allegra said with more tartness than she would have liked. ‘I’m not some nineteen-fifties housewife who has no idea of how the real world works.’
He gave a rough-edged sigh. ‘My client is a Russian billionaire who wants some face-to-face time over a design we’re working on for him.’
‘Couldn’t you have sent someone in your place? You do have other people working for you, don’t you?’ Now she was starting to sound like a nineteen-fifties housewife.
‘He’s a difficult client,’ Draco said. ‘But his business is too valuable to compromise. I won’t be away long—three days, five at the max. But enough about my business. How was it back at work?’