"I know what you think it seemed like," he interrupted, looking at her fixedly. "I'm probably saying all the wrong things, but this isn't me, Denise. I don't fall fast and hard, I really don't. I dated Wendy for months before I fell for her. It's different with you in every way. I know now with her, it was mostly attraction that had me tripping over myself for her affections." He was quiet for a moment, shaking his head. "She never would've walked as much as you did today or talked as openly as we did. She wouldn't have considered eating a hot dog, and she never entertained my mom when she visited. I'm not trying to compare, but the longer I'm away from that relationship, the more I spend time with you... I really wonder what I was thinking. I hope for both their sakes, she's better for Sam than she was for me."
"Alex!" she cried, her heart swelling at his words. "You can say that after how much he hurt you?"
"He was my friend for a long time and he gave me an excellent job when I didn't have much experience. I owe him my career and everything you see here," he said, waving his hands at the view before them. "Because of him, I'm able to help my mom out every month. I'm not saying we could ever be friends again because we can't. Once that level of trust is gone, it's done. I can acknowledge that he must really love her to do what he did. He sacrificed a lot to be with her, between our friendship and the restaurant..." His voice trailed off and they sat for a while, both contemplative.
"That you can defend him in any way is astounding," she said finally. "You have my respect."
"I'll take it," he said, rising. "We have a long day tomorrow, Denise. We should say goodnight."
"Yes," she said, yawning. When she settled into the couch a few minutes later, it took her a while to go to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking of the sincerity she heard in Alex's voice, telling her he would leave his intoxicating city and move back to Rockford for her. Even though she knew it was a crazy and impossible thing for him to consider, she couldn't help but feel flattered by it. Even if she believed, deep down, he didn't mean it. He couldn't.
Chapter Twenty-One
Denise woke up on Saturday to Rosie bustling around her. She sat up, feeling embarrassed as she rubbed her eyes.
"Denise, you're awake! How lovely. We already made coffee, so have some and pull yourself together. We have a busy day ahead. Bring a sweater, it's chilly outside."
Denise smiled despite knowing that Rosie might be a little much first thing in the morning. "I'll get right on it."
"Here you go," Alex said, coming from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and a sugar container in the other. He smiled affectionately at her, and she was grateful there didn't seem to be any nervous tension from the night before. "Do you take cream?"
"Just the sugar, thank you."
"Drink up," Rosie said hurriedly, breaking into Denise's overflowing thoughts at seeing Alex first thing in the morning. He was dressed for the day in jeans and a gray shirt, but his hair was slightly unkempt and he looked half-asleep. He was a marvelous sight to behold. If his mom wasn't watching her impatiently, Denise would've kissed him.
"I'll take this to go," she said, smiling at him before she walked to the bathroom to freshen up.
Half an hour later, whether Denise was ready or not, Rosie was. She had a car ready to take them to shops that weren't in walking distance. And shop they did. Denise never loved shopping, but that was not the case for Rosie. She wanted to get all her quilting and book club friends unique souvenirs, on top of seeking cat figurines for herself. Apparently, she was allergic but loved to collect the figurines. Denise admittedly found it endearing but the stores got tiresome after a while, especially the crowds. It didn't help that Alex kept quiet, and she wondered if their conversation the night before bothered him more than he initially let on.
At noon, Rosie needed a lunch break. They found a booth in a busy diner, where Rosie practically pushed Denise in on Alex's side. As they ate burgers, Denise missed his usual lively and charming ways, and Rosie carried on a one-sided conversation. Mostly because she didn't give anyone else time to chime in. While Rosie chatted about the history museum they were going to visit, Denise sneakily put her hand on Alex's knee and squeezed it. He coughed and looked at her in surprise.
"Are you okay?" she asked, smiling, and she saw the familiar twinkle light up his eyes.
"Don't tell me you're feeling sick, Alexander," Rosie fussed.
"I feel fine, Mom, don't worry," he said, squeezing Denise's hand under the table.
"Wonderful. Let's get these bags back to your apartment before we go to the museum. Sound good?"
"Yes," Alex said, and Denise nodded in agreement.
******
By that evening, Denise was in love with Chicago. She enjoyed the day sightseeing with Alex and his mom, even though the streets were more crowded than she was used to. They toured the Chicago History Museum, enjoyed a rest at a coffee bar and browsed several more shops, much to Denise's dismay. She bought a snow globe for Shelly, per her request, a few knick-knacks for herself, and a Chicago themed coffee mug for her dad. Even though everyone squeezed in a quick rest earlier in the day, Rosie insisted she was ready to shut it down after they ate dinner. Not giving them a chance to argue, Rosie was showered and ready for bed by eight, insisting the two "young ones" go out and enjoy themselves.
"She's a character, isn't she?" Alex laughed, sitting on the couch next to Denise. She nodded, feeling shy now that they were alone again. "What do you want to do?" he asked, and she shrugged. "Don't tell me you're back to being shy. We had so much fun today."
"We did," she said, smiling. After lunch at the diner, they spent the rest of the day teasing each other and snapping pictures, much to Rosie's obvious delight. He made all the shopping and crowds so much more bearable than if Denise had been on her own. It was a wonder she noticed anything in the city itself, she'd been so focused on him. She loved how he worried about his mom when she dared wander off in the stores, and he would feel the need to chase her down. Anytime Rosie wasn't paying attention, he would try to tickle Denise or whisper in her ear, giving her goosebumps.
"What does Denise typically do on Saturday nights?" he asked, and she almost wanted to laugh. Saturday nights were like any other night for her, only she didn't have to work the next day. It was usually dinner alone and a movie or mystery book in her bedroom.
"You should instead tell me what you do here on nights off."
"Well, okay," he said, and she smiled. "There's a karaoke bar a few blocks away. We can have a couple beers while I beat you at a game of pool. You still owe me."
"You were so cocky that night!" she laughed. "You must not know about my competitive side, Alex. It's so on."
"You don't say. Should we make this a friendly competition?"
"What do you have in mind?" She felt her skin grow hot at his twinkling eyes staring into hers.
"If I win, you have to cook me breakfast in the morning."
"That's it?" she asked, surprised by the tame request.
"It's not exactly what I want, but it's a good settlement," he said, piquing her curiosity.
"What would you want?"
"If I had it my way," he said, scooting closer to her. "I would make you stay an extra day with me."
"Oh?" She gulped, feeling the air around them pulsate with anticipation.
"I want it more than anything," he whispered in her ear, and a deep longing rippled through her. She closed her eyes and reached for him, any part of him. Her hand gripped his thigh, and he groaned. "Not here."
"I know." Then, as if on cue, they heard Rosie moving around in the next room. Denise's eyes flew open, and she moved further away from Alex. He laughed.
"You really do make me feel like I'm in high school," he said, and she laughed. He looked like he was going to say something else when Rosie walked out of the guest room wearing a fluffy pink robe and clutching a book.
"Why are you still here? You two enjoy the night, I insist."
"Don't worry, Mom. Denise was just
going to get her jacket." He stood up, nodding toward his room, where her bags were.
"I'm so glad!" Rosie said. "We go home too early tomorrow to do anything more than breakfast with you." She pulled her son in for a hug, and Denise smiled before disappearing into the hallway that led to Alex's bedroom.
Once inside, she shut the door behind her and leaned against it. He wanted her to stay longer! It had fluttered around in her mind during the day, thinking about him not starting his new job for another few days. She felt guilty even considering calling Sandra to take extra days off, but she knew she wouldn't mind in the least.
Was she considering it? She felt elated by the notion of it as she freshened herself up in the bathroom inside his room. She could change her flight in the morning to stay another couple of days if Rosie didn't mind going back home alone. By the time she met Alex in his living room, she felt happier than she'd been in a long time. He stood up from where he sat on the couch next to his mom, his eyes sparkling wildly.
"You look exceptional," he whispered in her ear, pulling her in for a hug she wished could linger.
"You're so beautiful!" Rosie cried, causing Alex to chuckle and pull away from Denise. "You two go, have a fun night!"
"We're going, we're going," Alex said laughingly, nudging Denise towards the front door. "Goodnight, Mom."
"Goodnight, Rosie," Denise said.
"I think she approves of you," Alex laughed once they were in the hallway.
"That's good," she said, smiling, placing her hand inside his arm and holding onto it. The elevator had a few people on it, so they were quiet until they were on the street, but he held her close to him.
"I hope you like this place. It's kind of new to me."
"I'm sure I will." She enjoyed his closeness and the people watching as they walked.
"Here we are," he said, taking her into JJ's Karaoke, a laid-back bar with couches and armchairs set up and sectioned off throughout. A brunette belted out a familiar eighties tune on a lit-up stage in the back of the immense room, a sizable crowd listening. "What do you think?"
"It's a cool place," she said, appreciating the vibe but unused to the crowd.
"Doesn't look like there's a pool table free, so let's get a drink and find a seat."
"Sounds good," she said, opening up her small crossbody bag that didn't hold much more than some money and a lip gloss.
"Put that away."
"I want to. You've been getting my food and drinks all day," she said, but he shook his head.
"It's on me," he insisted, giving their drink order to the bartender.
"I'm getting the next one," she said as they found a table by the stage. He took the seat next to her, and they enjoyed the differing singers. Alex kept his hand on hers as they conversed on which songs they liked better. She was more into the power ballads, while he preferred the blues. They were laughing about an unusual song choice a smallish woman made when Alex went stiff and silent.
"What's the matter?" Denise whispered. She followed his gaze, seeing two pretty women, a petite blonde and a taller brunette. Both stood in stunned silence, watching Alex. Denise knew intuitively the blonde was Wendy, based on the stricken look on her face and not just his previous description of her. Her brunette friend tried to pull her away, but she strode over to their table.
"How have you been, Alex?" Wendy asked perkily, ignoring Denise altogether. Denise pulled her hand from Alex's, feeling her face flush.
"Wendy," he said curtly. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here with Josie," Wendy answered, nodding to her friend. "Who do we have here?" Wendy's green eyes flashed daggers at Denise, and she hated herself for tensing up.
"What do you want, Wendy?" Alex asked, ignoring her question. "You didn't have to come over here."
"It's been a while. Can't an old friend say hi?"
"Friend," Denise muttered irritatingly, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Wendy asked, looking pointedly at her.
"Some friend," Denise said, speaking louder, matching Wendy's glare.
"You think you know something about me? Who are you?"
"I'm Denise, an actual friend of Alex's."
"What would you know?" Wendy glowered, placing her hand on Alex's arm. He pushed it away. "Alex? I thought we would try to be friends."
"Alex," Denise said when it became clear he wouldn't reply to Wendy. "We can go if you want." He smiled at her, but she felt the tenseness radiating from him.
"Sounds like a great idea, Denise." He stood up, taking her hand and ignoring Wendy calling to him as they walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The tree lined streets were a blur as Alex aimlessly walked, his mind in disorder. The only thing comforting him was Denise's hand in his. He found an empty bench in front of a grassy area he always liked, and they took a seat.
"I'm so sorry, Alex," she said in a soothing voice. He looked at her and smiled, feeling like he was coming out of a fog when his eyes met hers.
"You don't need to apologize, that should be me. I took us further away from my apartment than I intended."
"I understand the need to clear your head, don't worry."
"I should've taken you back first."
"Would you like to be alone?"
"I meant for your benefit. You don't want to be walking out here with me, it's freezing outside."
"I like the cold. I'm more concerned about you. How are you doing after that?"
"I'm irritated," he groused. "How could she be so rude to you?"
"That should be obvious. She's not happy you were with me, but I'm sure how she treated me isn't why you're so upset."
"It is, though," he said honestly, trying to look her in the eyes. She was too busy fidgeting.
"Alex," she said after a moment, looking at him finally. "You should be honest with me and not worry about hurting my feelings. We're friends. I want to know how you felt when you saw her."
"The truth?" he asked, and she nodded.
"From start to finish," she stated, and he smiled. She was something special, he knew it in his gut.
"As soon as I saw her, I was irritated. I was having a blast with you, so of course she finds a way to ruin it. I can't believe she had the nerve to even come over, then to act like you don't exist! I was about to say something when you stepped in. Thanks for that, by the way," he added sincerely.
"I've got your back," she said, bumping his shoulder with her own, a familiar act between them now. "She said she wanted to try being friends."
"Yeah, right," he snorted.
"You don't think it's possible? You still feel angry about it, but I've sensed a few times that you miss her."
"Denise," he said forcefully, to get her to stop fidgeting and look at him again. It worked. "If you want honesty, here goes. There is the tiniest part of me sometimes that misses her and Sam, I can't lie. Trust me when I say it's fast and fleeting. They did me dirty, and I can't forgive them for that. I hope they have a good life together, but it'll be without me in it." She smiled warmly before pulling him in for a hug.
"I think you're the greatest guy," she said in his ear, and he held her tight against him. "I can't believe I ever thought you weren't."
"That's my mom's fault," he said, laughing. "She told you the worst stories about me on purpose."
"Why would she do that?" she asked, breaking the hug and laughing.
"Don't get me started. Some romantic idea she had, knowing her."
"I'm curious about one thing," she said timidly.
"I love you," he said, unable to stop himself. His words hung in the air while she sat in stunned silence.
"You can't," she said finally, crushing him.
"But I do."
"Alex-"
"Before we get into something like last night, let me say this," he interrupted gently. "I know you think I'm using you as some sort of distraction. It might've been that way at first, but it was so brief it shouldn't count. I meant
what I said when I told you I would move back to Rockford. I think this deserves an honest go, Denise." He searched her face for any inkling she might believe him but found himself disappointed.
"If you want to move back, that's up to you. But, maybe it's the town you missed, along with your memories there. You've been going through something huge over the past few months, you can't possibly be over that. I refuse to believe it."
"I know how I feel. I never said I'm over what happened, but I know I'm getting there and I honestly feel that I'm close. I don't know how many times I can stress it."
"Proof should be there from tonight alone!" she exclaimed. "You were speechless at the sight of her. I felt the tension in the air!" He took a deep breath, thrown by her passion. Either she was in serious denial, or she really believed he couldn't possibly love her.
"I was speechless because I was angry, and I was angry at the nerve of her coming over, cheerful as ever. She acts like she didn't leave me for my best friend just a few months ago. I went back home in the first place because I got tired of seeing them everywhere, both of them always looking at me like I will forgive it all any second."
"That's terrible," she muttered, shaking her head.
"Denise, talking to you about everything has helped. I needed that time in Rockford to get back to feeling normal again. I think I was meant to meet you. I know you don't believe it but it's true." She closed her eyes and shivered.
"I guess I am getting cold," she said, smiling at him.
"Would you like to go back to my apartment?" he asked, sad that she didn't want to acknowledge what he said.
"Please," she said, standing up. She didn't reach for his hand, which made him even sadder. Every time she came out of her shell with him a little, she always retreated back inside.
"Let's go," he said, hoping he didn't sound as miserable as he felt. They quietly walked home, and it wasn't until after she took a shower and was about to leave his room when she finally said something.
"I care about you, Alex." She stood in the doorway of his bedroom, looking beautiful with her dark hair in a braid. "I'll miss you more than you know."
Crashing Into You (Paragon Series Book 3) Page 13