by Staci Hart
Maggie smiled, changing the subject while trying to be polite, I suspected. “So, Blane seems nice.”
I beamed at everyone. “He’s being so sweet, guys. I can actually see how this could work out. Thanks for talking me into this, Astrid. Best idea ever.” I raised my glass, and Astrid raised hers in answer with a look on her face.
My eyes narrowed with suspicion before my glass reached my lips. “Why do I feel like you’re bullshitting me right now?” I looked at Rose and Maggie too, so they’d know they weren’t off the hook either. “What has gotten into everybody? We’re at this posh-ass club with sexy dresses and bald vaginas. I can’t be the only one excited about this!”
A laugh shot out of Rose. “You’re the only one with a squeaky snatch.”
“I’m just saying. My dream guy has a chance at redemption, here. Why are we not having fun? Why are we not into this?”
Rose was still smiling, but I didn’t buy it. “We’re happy for you. I think everyone’s just worn out. And the best way to turn that around is always whiskey.”
We all laughed and raised our glasses, cheering, “To whiskey!” before killing our drinks.
16
SWAN DIVE
West
AN HOUR LATER, I WAS sitting on the couch alone, watching as Blane leaned into Lily. She was pressed up against the wall looking hotter than I’d ever seen her — legs ten miles long, body wrapped in fabric so blue, it practically gave off its own light. That dress left nothing to the imagination while still possessing class and style, and I hated that she was wearing it for that douchebag.
Lily smiled up at him, and he whispered something in her ear. She laughed — I could almost hear the sound in my burning ears just on memory alone. I squeezed the rocks glass in my hand so tight, I thought it might bust.
But I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them, just watched them, torturing myself as I drained my glass, hoping the whiskey would ease my nerves.
It didn’t.
Cooper sidled up next to me, and I looked away, feigning indifference.
“You all right?”
“Fine.” The word was flat.
He eyed me. “You’re really not going to tell me what’s going on? You’ve been watching them all night like … well, like this.” He gestured to me.
I reached for the bottle of Makers on the table and poured well more than a shot. “What do you want me to say?”
“I just want to know why you look like you’re ready to throw that glass.”
I stared down at the amber liquid. “Lily and I went to the opera last night.” I took a long pull, thankful for the comforting burn of whiskey in my chest.
“Is opera code for something?”
I couldn’t look at him. “I’m in love with her, Cooper.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “What’s new?”
I shook my head and killed my drink. “Does everybody know?” My voice was rough.
“Everybody but you and Lily.”
“Everybody but Lily, you mean.” I poured another drink. “Rose and Patrick said I should wait it out until she got through tonight with Blane, but that’s feeling like a fucking terrible idea right about now.” My eyes found her again, zeroing in on his hands on her waist. I emptied my glass and set it down, reaching immediately for the bottle.
Cooper watched me. “Yeah, I’m thinking this isn’t much better.”
I scowled at him. “Don’t even think about taking my drink. I’ll fucking deck you.”
He looked genuinely concerned, which was disquieting. “Maybe we should go. Let everyone go to separate corners.”
“Yeah, except they’re going to a corner together.” I ran a hand over my beard as sweat beaded on my forehead. My shirt felt like a sauna, and I set my glass down to peel my jacket off. “It’s fucking hot in here.”
“You’re drunk, West.”
“I’m fine.”
“Your fuck-o-meter is off the charts.”
“I said I’m fine.” I fumed. “I’m not leaving Maggie here, and I’m not leaving Lily alone with that jizzbag.”
“Look, I’m not crazy about him either, but he’s here with Lily. Don’t do anything to embarrass her, or you’re fucked.”
I eyed Cooper, curious. “What did he say to you when he was talking your face off earlier?”
He shrugged. “The usual. He was trying to impress me, said something nasty about our waitress.”
“What did he say about Lily?”
“He didn’t mention Lily. But the dude puts out the scumbag vibe.”
I sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
I watched Rose walk up to Lily, and the girls leaned together, lips to ears to try to talk under the imposing bass. Blane took the opportunity to check out a girl who walked past our table.
My nostrils flared. “Did you fucking see that?” I was already getting up.
Cooper grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back down. “Whoa, buddy.”
I turned to Cooper, throwing a hand in Blane’s direction. “Who the fuck is this guy? This is bullshit. She doesn’t see what a piece of shit this guy is. Somebody’s got to tell her.”
“She’s not going to listen to us right now.”
“Not true. She’ll listen to Rose.”
His brow was low. “Don’t you think Rose sees it too? And she hasn’t said anything. There’s a reason, West. If you go interrupt her right now to talk shit about Blane, she’s going to take his side. You can’t tell Lily what to do, man — you’ve got to let her figure this out.”
I shook my head, teeth clenched so tight my jaw hurt. “I don’t accept that.”
Cooper leaned forward, voice hard. “Listen — tonight you’re accepting that, or Tricky and I are going to put you in a cab and fucking send you home. Cool it.”
I shook my head, voice rough. “She’s driving me crazy, Cooper.”
He sighed and nodded. “I get it. I really do, but it’s all going to work out. Things like this always do.”
I picked up my drink and brought it to my lips. “Tell that to Tricky.” I took a heavy swallow.
Cooper huffed and sat back. “That’s not the same, and you know it. It’s been twenty-four hours since you figured out something we’ve all known for years. Give yourself a break. It’s not like she and Blane are leaving here to go to Vegas.”
Rage ripped through me at the thought of the two of them standing in front of an Elvis impersonator at the Chapel of Love.
He shook his head, bewildered. “Damn, dude. Look at you. This is temporary, okay?” He waited for my response.
I sniffed. “Temporary.”
“Right. So get your shit together. Now. All right?”
I nodded and took another drink.
“And chill the fuck out on the whiskey, will you?”
“No promises.”
“Come on. You need a distraction,” he said as he stood. “Let’s find Tricky.”
I filled my drink again before following Cooper begrudgingly through the club. We found Patrick near the dance floor, leaning against the gigantic speaker boxes between two go-go platforms topped with writhing girls in white wigs and beaded, sheer flapper dresses. They spun around, displaying their lack of undergarments, and Cooper waggled his eyebrows.
I smiled, breathing a little easier, thanks to the distance between me and Lily. Maggie, Rose, and Astrid bounced around on the dance floor with their drinks in the air, occasionally pausing to laugh or yell in each other’s ears, taking turns cockblocking any idiot who tried to get between them. One drunk guy got close enough to Maggie to try to dry hump her from behind. I’d already set my drink down and taken three steps onto the dance floor when Maggie turned around and poked him in the shoulder. He made a face and put up his hands, turning to the rest of the crowd to look for another woman to mack on.
After a little bit, I was almost relaxed, laughing with Patrick, watching the girls have a good time. And then Lily walked onto the dance floor.
She ignored me completely, strutting in t
hat dress that hugged her body around every curve. The cut of the neckline was shaped like a heart, and my gaze lingered on her cleavage. She beelined for the girls just as Blane stepped next to Cooper and said something I couldn’t hear. Cooper gave him a patronizing nod and glanced at me. I emptied my drink and eyed my glass. But I wasn’t about to leave now.
Lily joined the girls in their wiggling, but watching her was different. I noticed everything — her hands, her arms, her long white legs. Her hips as they rolled and she turned. The look on her face, lips parted, eyes down. And then she looked up.
Straight at Blane.
He smiled when she beckoned him, and he stepped onto the dance floor, making his way over to her. Her hands slipped up his chest when she reached him, and his found her waist as their hips pressed together, rolling in time to the music.
I thought I might vomit.
I had to get out of there. I pushed away from the speakers and stormed to the table where I poured myself another stiff drink, trying to get a grip. I had to find a way, or I really would need to leave. Cooper was right — causing a scene couldn’t end well for me. I turned to look back to the dance floor and saw Lily with her back to Blane, his hands around her waist as he said something into her ear. She smiled over her shoulder and nodded, and he let her go, heading for the restrooms near the stairs. But when he reached the stairwell, he looked back. He was hidden by a wall of people, and once he saw he was covered, he ducked down the stairs.
I set down my drink, suspicious and determined to figure him out, making to follow him. I watched everyone to see if I could sneak by. The girls were huddled together, laughing, and Patrick and Cooper’s backs were to me. I trotted down the stairs after Blane.
I nodded to the bouncer, who I hoped made note of my face, and made my way through the packed club. There were people everywhere, so many I almost felt suffocated after the luxury of VIP. I shuffled my way through the crowd, scanning the faces for Blane, trying to remember what he was wearing. I took a lap around the space, pausing once when a girl touched my arm, sliding her fingers down to my hand where she laced her fingers in mine, tugging me gently toward the dance floor. I shook my head and smiled, looking back in the direction I’d been heading. And that’s when I saw him.
Blane was leaned up against the wall, just like he had been earlier with Lily. Except caged in his arms was not-Lily. The girl was gorgeous — tall and blond like Lily, but without the grace and polish, wearing a black dress that looked more like a very tight, very low cut shirt. He whispered something in her ear. She nodded, and he took her hand, pulling her toward the bathrooms.
I knew exactly what he was doing, and even then, even knowing, all I could think about was Lily upstairs waiting for him. I could barely see straight as I barreled through the crowd just as they disappeared around the corner.
Within a minute, I was in the big room with hanging chandeliers. There were no gender specific restrooms, just the one room with tall, full-length black doors lining each side. The privacy they allowed was perfect for doing drugs. Or fucking.
I blew to the front of the short line, addressing the girl who was next in line.
“Did you just see a blond guy and a girl in a black dress come through here?”
She was so tan she was nearly orange, with big hair and heavy, fake lashes. She hung a hand on her hip, looking justified. “Yeah, that fucka just cut all-a us. He’s lucky I just got my nails done.”
Adrenaline pumped through me. “Which stall did they go in?”
“That one.” She pointed one long, hot pink fingernail at a door.
My palms were sweaty, hands shaking as I approached the door and reached for the handle, expecting for it to be locked, expecting to beat on it until the piece of shit came out. I only paused for a split second before turning the knob to the unlocked door and pulling it open with a whoosh.
The blond was bent over the toilet, hanging onto a shelf meant for holding drinks with her dress pulled up to her hips and her ass exposed. Blane was behind her with his hands full — let’s just say that — as he looked over his shoulder at me with his face twisted up with a variety of emotions … rage, confusion, incredulity.
The girl looked downright mortified. Also high as fuck, with eyes ringed with red and pupils like marbles.
“What the fuck?” Blane shouted.
I barely heard him.
I cocked my fist and released, the crunch of my knuckles against his nose almost as satisfying as the blood that burst out of his nostrils and all over his shirt. The girl screamed as I grabbed a handful of his shirt and dragged him out of the stall, swinging him around before popping him in the eye.
“Fuck!” Blane screamed, hands up and cowering. My chest heaved, fist poised to hit him again. But he looked so pathetic, scared even. He had no fight in him.
I let him go. I don’t quite know how, but I let him go.
I shoved a finger in his bloody face. “You fucking leave Lily alone, do you hear me, you piece of shit? You leave her alone, or so help me God, I will fuck you up beyond recognition. You don’t deserve her.”
“What,” he yelled, voice muffled by his swollen nose, “and you think you do? Fuck you, asshole. She’s not worth all this shit.” He turned and looked into the mirror, eyes flying wide open when he saw his reflection. “My nose. I think you fucking broke my nose.”
I shook my head at him, disgusted. “Cry me a river, you fucking pussy.”
I turned and blew out of the restroom with a dozen eyes following me, hands shaking and knuckles raw, not sure what to do with myself. I didn’t know how a bouncer hadn’t come, and part of me expected one to come at me at any second to kick me out. But when I thought about it, I realized that the whole thing must have only lasted a minute before it was over.
Another part of me was waiting on Blane to stop me and finish the fight. But Blane didn’t have the scrote to come after me, or he wouldn’t have let me put him down like I did.
The ramifications of what I’d done were lost on me in the moment as I walked through the lights and noise and bodies in a haze. All I knew was that I didn’t know what to do, only that I needed to find my friends, so I walked back up the stairs with adrenaline pumping through me so hard, I thought my heart might burst.
When I approached the dance floor in VIP, Cooper and Patrick’s eyes met mine, and their smiles slipped off their faces and onto the floor. They hurried over to me, drawing the attention of the girls.
“West?” Patrick asked, uncertain as he looked me over, eyes coming to rest on my hands. “Is that … blood?”
I held them up, inspecting my right hand that was speckled with blood, the skin red and raw, knuckles scraped and swollen.
The girls walked up looking confused, gasping when Blane walked up behind me and blew past, nose a gory mess and eye already swelling closed. He stormed over to the couches where his jacket was, and Lily turned on me, eyes full of hurt and anger. She shoved me with all of her weight.
“What did you do to him, West? What did you do?” she shrieked, not waiting for an answer as she ran after him. He was already stalking back, jacket hanging in his hand as he approached. Lily ran next to him, trying to talk to him. She reached out to touch his arm, but he jerked away.
“Please,” she begged. “Just tell me what happened.”
He stopped and glared at me. “Your fucking friend here just assaulted me.”
“But why?” she asked, brows knit together. “Why would he do that?”
He looked right at me. “Because he’s a fucking dick.” He shook his head, turning to address her, angry and drunk, all pretense of pleasantry gone. His face was hard as stone. “There were two things I wanted. To get into this club, and to get another piece of your ass. The first I got for a bouquet of flowers. The second I don’t even want anymore.” He took a step closer to where she stood, stunned. “You know, everyone talks about how they’ve tried to get you into bed, and you shoot them all down like you’re better than that.
I knew it would be easy for me, and I was right. But let me tell you something, Lily. No ass is worth this bullshit. Not even yours.”
I roared, lunging for him, but Cooper and Patrick grabbed me, holding me back as the dickbag shook his head, not even caring that Lily’s eyes were full of tears, hands over her mouth and nose as she shook her head right back. I broke away, getting far enough to grab another handful of his shirt before they dragged me back, and Blane shoved me in the shoulder.
“Fuck you.”
I strained against Patrick and Cooper. “Real fucking brave, you son of a bitch. Come back here!” I screamed at his back as he marched away. “Let go of me, Patrick. Let me fucking go!”
They didn’t relax their grip until Blane was out of sight.
“I can’t believe you would do this to me.” Lily’s voice wavered.
The accusation seared me, and I jerked my arms free. “He’s not good enough for you.”
Her face bent in anger. “That’s not for you to decide. Why would you do this to me?”
“To protect you. He’s not a good guy. He—”
“How do you know? I don’t tell you not to sleep with Christine or whoever you’re hiding from me this week, so you can’t tell me who to sleep with, either. It’s none of your goddamn business, West.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Lil—”
“You’re not my big brother. I’m not going to let you push me around like you do everyone else. You think you know what’s best for everyone, but you don’t.”
“I’m not the bad guy here. For fuck’s sake, everyone knew he was wrong for you, everyone, but no one would tell you. You know why? Because we respect you. We want you to be happy.” Frustration twisted in my chest.
“And you think this makes me happy? You think this shows your respect for me?” She shook her head, tears rolling down her face. She took a shaky breath. “Why? Why would you do this to me?” she sobbed.
“Because I’m in love with you, Lily.” I shot the words at her like arrows, angry and hurt alongside her. I don’t know where they came from, but my mouth didn’t have permission to use them.