by Sarah Price
Angrily, she retraced her steps quickly to put as much distance as she could between herself and Adam. Once she reached the path in the woods, Belle stopped and shut her eyes. Her shoulders felt heavy and her chest tight. Before she could stop herself, she began to cry. The tears rolled down her cheeks, and she wiped at them with her free hand.
She knew that God had a purpose for her. At the moment, however, she could not begin to imagine what it was. While she knew better than to complain about her current situation, for others bore much heavier crosses, she was beginning to feel that her shoulders were simply not strong enough to carry her particular cross.
When she emerged from the woods and began walking down the path toward the house, her thoughts of self-pity were interrupted by voices coming from the distance. Eager for a distraction (and any interaction with another person!), she quickened her pace. It was only when she was almost clear of the cornfield on her right that she saw two women standing near the back door of the house.
“Ella! Sadie!” She practically ran toward them, her eagerness for female companionship overtaking her sense of propriety. As she neared them, she dropped the pitcher and cup so that she could embrace her two friends.
“Oh, Belle!” Ella was the first to extract herself from Belle’s hold. “You’ve been crying!”
Sadie shook her head and clicked her tongue. “Crying,” she exclaimed as she reached into her pocket for a handkerchief. “New brides should not cry.”
Belle took the neatly folded hanky and dabbed at her eyes. She almost laughed as she looked at her two dearest friends. “I think I’m crying now for joy at seeing the two of you.”
Ella kept her arm around Belle’s shoulders and guided her toward the house. “Take us inside, Belle, and let’s visit a spell. I’m sorry we didn’t come earlier, but we thought you might want some privacy. When Maem mentioned that you stopped at the store last Saturday, I was sorry to have missed you.”
Once inside the kitchen, Belle gave them a brief tour through the house. She tried to explain the condition in which she had found the place two weeks ago when Adam had brought her to live there. But words could not describe the lack of care over the years. When they went upstairs, Belle showed them her bedroom. From the clothing that hung on the wall, it was clear that only she occupied the room.
Sadie gave her a look but made no comment.
“Kum now, Belle,” Ella said, reaching for her hand. “Let’s sit in the kitchen and catch up. I’m sure you have much to tell us.”
Only when they were seated at the table, some freshly baked bread and butter set out for her friends, did Belle begin to open up.
“He’s as much a stranger to me now as he was when I said I would marry him,” she confessed. She wrapped her hands around the glass of water before her.
“A stranger?” Sadie bit her lower lip. “Have you no interactions with him, then?”
“Nee, not many. He spends most of his time working outside. Sometimes he doesn’t even come in for meals.”
“Well, that’s not because of your cooking,” Sadie quipped. “That’s for sure and certain!”
Ella laughed and even Belle smiled.
“He refused to take me to church. My heart simply broke. I couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t see you or my family.”
“But that was just a few days after your wedding. Mayhaps he wanted to avoid prying eyes,” Ella said. “Will you be coming tomorrow?”
“I hope so!” She tried to appear nonchalant and quickly changed the subject. “Tell me, then. Tell me about what has been happening in Echo Creek. It’s so isolated out here that I feel lost and rather out of touch with reality.”
Ella glanced at Sadie, a silent and secret communication exchanged between them.
“What? What is it?” Belle reached up her hand to cover her heart. “Has something happened to my daed?”
“Nee, nee,” Sadie quickly reassured her. “Nothing bad has happened at all.”
“Then what are you afraid to tell me?”
Ella swallowed, and only after Sadie nodded her head did she begin to talk. “It seems that your daed is suddenly doing rather well, Belle. The entire town is talking about it. He drove a new horse and buggy into town just two evenings ago. And your schwesters . . . they both have new dresses that they wore to a youth gathering on Saturday evening.”
“New dresses?” Belle stared at Ella in amazement. “But . . . my daed cannot afford those things.”
Sadie leaned forward. “There’s more,” she whispered. “When we walked past your daed’s farm, there were cows. Lots of cows.”
Stunned, Belle leaned back in disbelief. “How is that possible?”
“Linda told me that she overheard a customer talking about someone investing in your daed’s latest invention. That grill. The entire town is talking about it.”
“Tongues are wagging along the Amish grapevine,” Sadie confirmed.
Belle frowned. If someone had invested in her father’s grill, then her marriage to Adam had been unnecessary. She had tried to save her family from being destitute and homeless. Now, however, they were doing better than ever, and just weeks after she had sacrificed her own future for theirs. Her shoulders sagged and she felt deflated, devoid of any emotion beyond defeat.
“And that’s not all.” Ella reached up to push back a strand of her blond hair that had fallen from beneath her prayer kapp. “Adam . . .”
Belle looked up. “What about Adam?”
“Why, he’s come to town more often in the past two, three weeks than he normally does in that many years!” Ella glanced at Sadie, who nodded her head in agreement. “No one can believe how frequently he rides to town.”
Belle couldn’t help but wonder what, exactly, he was doing. She knew that he had driven in twice, once to shop for her and another time to fetch her. But she didn’t always pay attention to what he was doing throughout the day. “Such strange happenings,” she muttered under her breath. “I know so little about this man that I must spend the rest of my life with.”
Sadie reached out and covered Belle’s hands with her own. “Certainly he cannot be that intolerable.”
“Intolerable”? The word struck Belle, and she made a face. “Nee, that’s not it at all. Why, I hardly notice the scars, Sadie. And, every so often, I find that there is some tenderness beneath that gruff exterior. On Sunday night, I fell asleep reading the Bible, and he must have covered me with an old quilt that he found. And when I arrived at the house on Friday after the wedding”—how strange that word sounded on her lips!—“he had fixed up my bedroom upstairs, even if the rest of the house was in shambles. There are some very thoughtful qualities about Adam. But he shares nothing with me and refuses to let me assist with the outside chores.”
At this statement, both Ella and Sadie frowned.
“Ja, it’s true,” Belle continued. “I thought it was pride, that he wants to do it all himself as if he must prove something to others. He says it’s not. I just don’t understand why he will not accept my help in the fields or the dairy—especially the dairy. He’s quite adamant about that.”
“That does seem rather odd.” Ella glanced at Sadie. “Do you know anything about him? I was too young when his maem died.”
Sadie raised an eyebrow. “You and I are the same age,” she said. “Why should I know any more than you?”
“Perhaps your daed told you about him?”
But Sadie merely shook her head. “Nee, I only know the same school yard stories as the rest of the town.”
They talked for another thirty minutes before Sadie mentioned that they should get started on the long way home. Besides, Ella pointed out, Belle probably needed to start preparing supper for her husband. Belle couldn’t believe that their visit was over. Time had flown far too quickly.
Belle sighed. “If he decides to take his meal with me. If only he would see my efforts and make his own to open up to me.”
Ella gave her a soft smile. “In due time, Bel
le. I’m sure he’ll come around in due time.”
As Ella and Sadie turned toward the door, Belle started when she saw Adam leaning against the door frame. “Adam!”
His arms were crossed over his chest, and, despite the scowl on his face, he appeared relaxed. She wondered how long he had been standing there.
“My friends . . .” she stammered. “Ella and Sadie . . . they’ve come visiting.”
“I see that.” His deep voice filled the room, and for a moment, Belle panicked. Would he be angry that her friends had come without being invited? Would all of the progress they had made over the past two weeks disappear? The way he stood there without entering the room was intimidating enough, never mind that there was such an aura of mystery about him among the Amish community in town.
“We were just leaving, actually.” Ella gave him a warm, genuine smile. “It’ll be supper time by the time we reach town.”
Adam glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’ll harness the horse—”
“Nee, nee!” Sadie held up her hands to stop him. “That’s kind of you, Adam. But I’m looking forward to the long walk.” When she said this, Ella nodded in agreement. There was no malice or judgment in word or action.
“Suit yourselves, then.” Adam shifted his gaze toward Belle, his eyes holding hers for just a few seconds, but long enough to cause her to wonder if he was trying to secretly communicate with her. If so, she did not understand. Their marriage lacked the years of bonding that permitted couples to communicate with silent conversation, spoken only with their eyes.
“Mayhaps we’ll see you in church on Sunday, ja?” Ella said as she readied herself to depart for the long walk to Echo Creek.
“I hope so.” Belle walked her two friends to the front door, repeating her goodbyes before they left.
For a long moment, she stood in the open doorway, watching them walk down the lane until they disappeared around a bend, the trees blocking them from her view.
Chapter Seventeen
Once again, when Sunday came around, Adam was nowhere to be found. Belle had arisen early in order to dress for church and prepare a light meal so that they wouldn’t be too hungry during the worship service. But as the sun began to rise over the roofline of the barn, all Belle could hear was the distant barking of Adam’s dog and the morning song of the birds in the trees.
Sighing, she covered a plate of food for him and left it on the table. If he wasn’t going to attend church, that was his business. But she’d have to start walking in order to get there on time.
As she headed down the lane toward the main road, she kept looking into the paddocks that lined the driveway. The cows grazed under the warm autumn morning sun. Clearly he had already milked them. So where is he hiding? she wondered.
With each step that took her farther away from the farm, Belle began to gain a new sense of freedom. She couldn’t wait to sing with the rest of the congregation and to enjoy fellowship with her friends afterward. Perhaps she would stop to visit with her family before she returned home to make a modest supper for herself and Adam.
Even though the weather was beautiful, Belle was glad that church was being held at one of the homes neighboring her father’s farm and not one of the houses on the south side of town. Adam’s farm, Belle corrected herself as she approached her old home. As she neared the farm, she noticed that the new buggy was already gone. One glance up at the sky told her that she needed to hurry if she wanted time to visit with her friends before the worship service began. But her legs were increasingly tired from the long walk to town.
“Belle!”
She heard the voice just as she was turning into the driveway at the farm where church was being held. It was Anna Rose Grimm, standing with Sadie under the shade of a tall tree. Smiling, Belle jogged a little to meet up with them.
“You haven’t entered yet, then?”
Anna Rose shook her head. “We were waiting for Ella to join us.” And then, with a big smile, she asked, “I haven’t seen you since the wedding. How is married life, anyway?”
If only I had the answer to that, Belle thought. “Gut. Right gut,” she heard herself say, and she hoped her voice was believable. She suspected that it was not. “And how are you doing, Anna Rose? I saw your daed just the other week in town.”
Whether from the change in subject or the subject itself, Anna Rose laughed. In her pink dress and with her shiny blond hair just poking out from beneath the front of her prayer kapp, Anna Rose was a pretty young woman who, as far as Belle knew, never had an unkind word to say about anyone. So she was surprised to hear Anna Rose say, “Oh, I heard all about your meeting with Daed.”
Belle’s mouth opened just a little.
Waving her hand, Anna Rose indicated that everything was fine. “Nee, Belle. Don’t worry none. Those two little ones are a bit unruly, don’t you think?”
Her cheeks flamed hot pink. “I’m so sorry, Anna Rose. It’s just . . .” How could she possibly excuse the fact that she’d spoken so sharply to Anna Rose’s father? She didn’t know the young woman well enough to explain exactly what had happened, and she could only imagine what John Grimm had shared with his family in regard to Belle’s confronting him. “. . . I reckon I shouldn’t have scolded your bruder.”
“Someone has to.” Anna Rose’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “It’s a known fact that those twins could use a bit more of the rod behind the woodshed.”
Sadie glanced over Belle’s shoulder. “Oh, now. Here comes Ella. We can walk in together then, ja?”
Talk of the incident with John Grimm having been put to rest, the four young women walked down the rest of the driveway and entered the barn where church service was being held. It felt odd to walk into the barn, her first time as a married woman and without her husband beside her. Belle wasn’t certain which made her feel more uncomfortable. Many people glanced in her direction when she started making her way through the line of women, shaking their hands and greeting them with a kiss. But Belle held her head high and hurried to take her place at the end.
She looked around and was surprised not to see her father or sisters. If the buggy wasn’t at the farm, where on earth could they be?
“You’re looking for your daed and schwesters, ja?”
Belle glanced over at Ella. “I am.”
Ella shook her head. “They won’t be here today. Your daed had business out of town yesterday, and I heard that your schwesters went with him. A hired boy is tending to the cows in their absence.”
For a moment, Belle felt overcome with disappointment. How was it possible that her entire family had simply moved on with their lives without any consideration for hers? No letters, no visits. While she hadn’t anticipated accolades for the sacrifice she had made, she certainly hadn’t expected her family to sever all ties with her. She felt as if she didn’t exist anymore, at least not as a Beiler. Perhaps that was what they thought—that Belle was Adam’s family now, not a part of theirs.
Or was it something more?
As the youngest sister of the three daughters, it was highly uncommon that she should wed when the older daughters had not. Perhaps there was some jealousy on the part of her sisters? Perhaps they didn’t want to see her because it was a reminder that Belle, not either one of them, had married first. And her father . . . surely he felt some shame that his inability to properly provide for his children had resulted in Belle having to marry Adam. Now that he was actually becoming successful—at last!—the weight of guilt must be tremendous.
With these new thoughts, Belle’s disappointment changed to compassion. As she sat on the hard bench, only half listening to the sermon, she made a mental note to write them a short letter and drop it in the mailbox the next time she went to town. Perhaps that might encourage them to reach out to her.
After the service, as the women began to prepare the food and the men prepared the tables, Belle was surprised to see the bishop heading toward her. His long white beard touched the second button on his black v
est, making him look older and wiser than she had remembered.
“It’s right gut to see you, Belle,” he said when he stood before her.
“Danke, Bishop. I’m glad to be here.”
The bishop looked around as if to seek someone else. “No Adam then?”
“Nee.”
If Belle thought that the bishop might scold her for Adam’s absence, he did not. Instead, he nodded his head and sighed. “In due time, I’m sure. He’ll come around.”
His words stunned her. Wasn’t that what Ella had said the previous day? And while Belle would have liked to understand what exactly that meant, she did not. “‘Come around,’ Bishop?”
The old man smiled, just slightly. His eyes looked tired as he stared at her, studying her face. “Sometimes, Belle,” he said in a slow, deliberate voice, “things are not what they seem. It takes a truly righteous person to realize that.”
To Belle, this was just one more riddle to add to the puzzle. Was he referring to Adam? What was it that Adam might be seeing in such a different light that, until he removed his blinders, would keep him from being a truly righteous man? She wanted to ask the bishop to explain, but she didn’t want to insinuate that there was anything wrong between her and Adam. The problems between a husband and wife were not to be aired to others.
“I’ll be certain to pray about that” was all that she could think to say.
He reached out and patted her arm. It was a reassuring gesture, one that she had never seen the bishop make to anyone. “Mayhaps I was surprised to learn you agreed to marry Adam, but now I see God’s wisdom behind the choice.”
Wisdom? Choice? Belle frowned, unhappy with this exchange. She didn’t see any wisdom behind her decision to marry Adam, and she certainly didn’t feel as if she’d had any choice. No, her decision had been based strictly on desperation to save her family from being homeless. And yet the bishop seemed genuinely pleased. It was clear that he truly believed what he had said. Perhaps the bishop was becoming addle-brained. His words seemed intended to confound her, as if he wanted to leave her with something to ponder. But she had no time to ask him any further questions.