by P. C. Cast
He pulled into a dark spot and put the Hummer in park. “So, I guess I’ll wait out here while you’re shopping, then drive back to the depot?”
“No.” Aphrodite dug through her giant bag, causing the remaining untouched bottle of champagne to clank against one of the crystal flutes. “Here it is—come to Mama,” she murmured as she pulled out a platinum credit card and handed it to Kevin. “Take this in there. Buy yourself new clothes. Nonstinky, non-ill-fitting clothes. And none of those skinny jeans either. That hipster look is ridiculous. Get some T-shirts too. Nothing flashy. Just clean and, again, not ill-fitting.” She gave his clothes, borrowed from Dragon—who was decidedly shorter and more muscular than Kevin—a disgusted look. “Get enough to fill four or five big bags. Oh, and don’t forget some boy pajamas. Keep this in mind when choosing pj’s—I do not want to see your flopping wiener through them, so get something lined.”
“I’m so confused.” Kevin stared at the credit card. “Why are you giving me this?”
“Do you have enough money to buy four or five big bags of clothes from Saks?”
“Hell no.”
“That’s why I’m giving you my card.”
“Aphrodite, I really appreciate it, but what I have on is fine for the tunnels.”
“Yeah, I get that. But it’s not fine for being around me,” she said.
“Huh?”
She sighed dramatically. “I. Have. A. Plan. Now go in there and do what I said and let me think it through.”
“What if they notice I’m not Aphrodite LaFont?”
She rolled her eyes skyward. “Use your red vamp mind trick thing on the simpletons.”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Okay.” He started to open the door and paused. “Um, do you need anything from in there?”
She shuddered. “No. It’s not Nordstrom. I prefer Miss Jackson’s.”
He grinned mischievously at her. “Hey, in Zo’s world the Miss Jackson’s closed.”
Aphrodite held up her hand to stop him from saying any more. “Do not blaspheme like that. Now, be gone. And hurry up. I only have one bottle of champagne left.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted her, and then did exactly as she commanded.
21
Zoey
Nerd Herd and our Warriors and lovers! Meet me at the broken tree. Bring circle candles & sage. Lots of sage. I’ll be there in 10 min.
I didn’t give myself time for second thoughts. I pressed SEND for the group text and then turned my attention back to the media room table in front of me and the open, musty-smelling old book titled simply Old Magick. I flipped back a few pages and reread the end of the previous chapter.
Remember, when asking for the aid of Old Magickal beings, especially elemental sprites, there is always a cost. Often they are satisfied with blood, but the Ancients are easily bored and capricious. They tend to value payment that is unusual or difficult to acquire. Be quite certain that the method of payment is specific, and be even surer that the payment is made. Do not make the mistake of believing you can escape the debt you incur to the Ancients. You will not—even should the payment required be your life. You will die. Of that there is no doubt whatsoever.
“Hell,” I said to the book and the long-dead vampyre High Priestess who had written it centuries ago. “Hell, hell, hell. I hate how that sounds.”
But there wasn’t anything I could do about hating it. I’d made my decision. I even believed it was a smart decision. Well, I hoped it was a smart decision. Smart or not, I thought it was the right decision.
“Stark’s going to be so pissed,” I murmured to myself.
“Why am I going to be pissed?”
I jumped and turned in my chair. “Goddess! You scared me.”
“Because you’re hiding in here and didn’t think anyone could find you?” He sat beside me and gave the open book a distrustful glance.
“I’m not hiding. I’m researching. Alone.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to bother you.”
He started to get up and I grabbed his hand. “Don’t go. I’m sorry. That sounded mean and that’s not how I wanted it to sound.” I drew in a long breath to steady myself. I didn’t want to have this talk with Stark. Ever. But I’d done enough childish avoiding. I’d made my decision, so it was time to tell him the truth. “I need to talk to you.”
He turned in his chair to face me. “Finally!”
His look of relief made my stomach clench.
Stark touched my cheek in a sweet, intimate gesture that always made me feel fluttery inside, and he smiled that cocky smile of his that I’ve loved since the day I met him. “Hey, whatever it is, we can handle it. Together. Just tell me what’s wrong and then we’ll figure out how to fix the problem.”
I leaned forward and kissed him—softly, slowly. He pulled me into his arms and returned the kiss, and for that moment I let my world be filled with my Warrior, my lover, my Guardian, and my friend.
When we finally parted his smile went cocky again. “If the problem is you need to be kissed like that more often, I have your fix. It’s a tough job, but you can definitely count on me, my Queen.”
I mock-punched his shoulder. “A tough job?”
“Yep, but someone has to do it.”
I shook my head at him, and then sobered. Stop procrastinating! Just tell him.
“I’m going to the Other World after Kevin,” I blurted.
“Yeah, well, I figured as much. When do we leave?”
I took his hand between both of mine. “I leave tonight. You’re staying here.”
He didn’t say anything for several long seconds. Then, slowly, he pulled his hand from between mine.
“Why?” His voice sounded flat, but his eyes filled with pain.
“Well, Neferet has to be stopped and I can’t let Kevin destroy himself with Old Magick, which it seems he’s on the road to doing. He’s using it. You can feel how often. He must believe he has to. I know I did. We all know that. Neferet is a nightmare. But Kevin understands nothing about Old Magick, or Neferet, and that’s going to—”
“Not why are you going,” Stark interrupted. “I already figured that out. Why am I not going?”
“Oh. Sorry. Because you can’t.”
“If you can cross over to another world, why the hell can’t I?”
“I don’t mean you physically can’t. I mean you can’t because there’s already a James Stark over there. He’s a general in Neferet’s army. Kevin said he’s even Neferet’s lover.” I grimaced. “Which is so damn gross I can hardly stand to think about it, and believe me—I’m going to try my best to do something about that. Goddess, can you imagine how—”
“I don’t care about that. That’s not me. I care about you. This you—my Queen, who I am Oathbound to as her Warrior and who I protect as her Goddess-given Guardian. Z, I understand why you have to go. I’ve known you’ve been thinking about it—worrying about Other Kevin—I even expected you to go. But I have to come with you.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I wish you could, but it doesn’t make any sense. You’re already over there. And you’re super visible. I need to sneak over—tell Kevin he has to quit using Old Magick—help him defeat Neferet, which I think I have figured out—and then get back here.” I met his anguished gaze and said what I had to, said what he wouldn’t want to hear but must hear. “Stark, you wouldn’t be helping me if you went. You’d be adding to what is already going to be a really difficult thing to do. I’m sorry,” I repeated. “But I’ve made up my mind. I’m going, and you’re not.”
The pain flashed to rage. “You think I don’t know the real reason you don’t want me to go? It’s because you’re going to see Heath and you don’t want me being a third damn wheel!”
I’d expected him to say that. I’d expected his hurt and his anger. But it didn’t make this any easier.
“No, Stark. That’s not why you can’t come with me. If you got caught, which would be easy to do because your alter ego over there is a powerful general who everyone knows, you would be killed. Or tortured. Or something awful. And I couldn’t bear that. But it’s about more than what I can and can’t bear. It’s even about more than what you can and can’t bear. If they caught you it would be bad for Kevin and his world for sure, but bad for our world as well. Stark, think. What would happen if Neferet found out there’s a whole other world over here—one she’s not in charge of? And then think about what she’d do if—no, not if—when Other Kevin and his Resistance turn the tide and actually start to defeat her. What would Neferet do?”
“I don’t fucking know!”
“Yes, you do. We all do. She’d run. And she’d run here.” I took his hand in mine again. “Stark, I love you. I hate hurting you. And I’m not going over there just to see Heath. But this isn’t about you and me. It’s about two whole worlds and being sure Darkness doesn’t ever win.”
“Did you hear yourself? You’re ‘not going over there just to see Heath’! ‘Just’!” he air-quoted. “But you are going to see him, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. Kevin told me he’s at OU. I’m not going there, Stark. I’m going to Tulsa.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Please don’t do this. Don’t be jealous of someone who isn’t even alive,” I said.
“But that’s the problem, isn’t it? He is alive over in that world you’re just dying to get to.”
This time I let go of his hand myself. “You actually think I want to go? That I want to fight Neferet again? That I want to leave my home and my friends and you?” I shook my head. “You’re jealous and you’re wrong.” I stood. “Everyone’s meeting me at the messed-up tree. I have to go.”
“Yeah, I know. I got your group text. It was super intimate.” He turned in his chair so that he was facing the book and not me. “Is that how you were going to tell me?”
“In a text? No!”
“I didn’t think that. I meant were you going to tell me you’re going and I’m staying in front of everyone?”
I chewed my cheek. Actually, I’d planned on telling everyone together that I was going—and who was and was not going with me. Good job, Z. Stark thinks you’re willing to insult and embarrass him—as well as leaving him for Heath.
“I—I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just know I have to go, and I have to tell everyone. I didn’t think about it making you mad that I was telling everyone together,” I said lamely.
He looked up at me then. “I’m not mad that you were going to tell me with everyone. I’m sad. Sad that that’s all I mean to you.”
“Stark! You mean everything to me!”
“That’s bullshit.”
I went to his side and put my hand on his shoulder. I wanted to touch his hair—his face—to kiss him and hold him and never let him go. But he flinched away from my hand and turned his sad, angry gaze to the old, open book in front of him.
“I love you. That’s not bullshit. You know that. All you have to do is feel it—feel our bond.”
“You think I’ll be able to feel it when you’re over there?” he asked woodenly.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I hope so. I think I could feel my bond with you in any world.”
“I hope not.”
Those three words sliced into me, cutting through skin and muscle and bones, leaving me speechless and so, so sad. I picked up my backpack and slid it over one shoulder. Then I turned away from my Warrior and left the Media Center.
* * *
They were all there—my circle: Aphrodite, Damien, Shaunee, Shaylin, and Stevie Rae. And their Warriors and lovers: Darius, Jack, Erik, Nicole, and Rephaim.
But no Stark. He hadn’t followed me from the Media Center. I swallowed my sadness and approached the blackened, broken tree, treading quietly so that I could watch my friends before they knew I was there.
Aphrodite was obviously in charge. She was pointing at places around the messed-up tree, and Other Jack, looking super cute in a pale violet tee tucked into adorably distressed jeans, was carrying the ritual candles to the areas she’d chosen. It was easy to tell what Aphrodite was doing, and I was filled with gratitude for her. She was setting up a circumference around the tree, readying everything for the casting of our circle.
Stevie Rae was holding a big pile of sage smudge sticks, of which she passed out one each to Damien, Shaunee, and Shaylin.
Good. That’ll be the easy part. I hope they’re ready for what will come next.
“Hey, Z! There ya are!” Stevie Rae dimpled at me. “I brought the sage.”
“And I brought the candles,” Other Jack said, beaming a sweet smile at me.
“I’m assuming we’re cleansing this disgusting tree?” Aphrodite said.
“Yep, we are,” I said. “At least for starters that’s what we’re doing. But first I need to talk to all of you.”
My friends moved closer, forming an attentive half moon before me. I studied their faces, thinking about how much we’d all been through and how close it had made us. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go face a Darkness we’d already defeated. I felt sad and scared and very alone.
“It’s okay, Z,” Stevie Rae said. “Whatever it is, we’re here for you.”
“Just tell us,” Damien said. “We’ll figure it out.”
“Your aura is strong. Whatever it is, you’re at peace with it,” Shaylin said.
“Remember you’re not alone,” Shaunee said. “We’ve got your back.”
“And so does Nyx,” Aphrodite said. “The Goddess is with you too. Always, Z.”
The rest of my friends nodded agreement.
I blinked real fast, determined not to let my tears spill over. “Thank you. That means a lot to me, and I really needed to hear that I have your support. I hope I still do when I tell you what’s going on.”
“You will,” Stevie Rae said. “You’re our High Priestess. We trust you, Z.”
When I knew I could speak without bursting into tears, I began. “First, we’re going to cleanse this tree. We’re not going to do anything too crazy—just a basic smudging and cleansing, though I am going to ask that everyone join in and help us smudge. It needs lots of cleansing.”
“Do you want us inside or outside your circle?” Erik asked.
“Good question,” I said, smiling at him as he stood beside Shaunee, one arm draped intimately around her shoulders as she leaned into him. “I want you with us in the circle, like you would be if we were doing a school-wide ritual. So, Jack, could you please move the element candles out so our circle is a little bigger?”
“Absolutely!” Jack immediately began scampering around the circle, placing the big pillar candles so that they included everyone.
“I’m going to call the elements and cast the circle. Those of you who represent the four elements, please light your sage sticks from your elemental candles. The rest of you can light your sticks from my spirit candle.” A thought struck me, and I decided it was a perfect addition to a simple smudging. “I want to make this more than just a smudging, though. This tree—this place—has so much sadness and Darkness attached to it that we need to do something extra with the smudging. We need to bring joy back here. What if we smudge to a song?”
“I’m all for that!” Stevie Rae said. “How ’bout using—”
“Oh, for shit’s sake, no!” Aphrodite interrupted. “No Kenny Chesney songs.”
Stevie Rae frowned at her. “You’re hurtin’ my heart.”
“It needs to be a super happy song,” I said. “One we all know, and one someone has on their phone.”
“ ‘When the Sun Goes Down’ by Kenny Chesney is super happy,” Stevie Rae said.
Aphrodite snorted.
Everyone stared at him.
“How the hell do you know that?” Aphrodite said.
“I’m smart and I actually read,” Damien said.
“When he fences he listens to that song. A lot,” Jack said, hurrying back to Damien’s side. “And you know what an awesome fencer my Damien is!”
“That’s the truth,” I said. “So, you have the song on your playlist?”
“Correct,” Damien said.
Before I could ask if everyone knew it, Jack’s hand went up like a perfect little student. “Yes, Jack?”
“Um, I just thought of a song. A really, really happy song I’m sure everyone knows. And it’s on my playlist.” He leaned into Damien. “Sorry, Damien. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind. What’s the song?” Damien asked.
Jack sang his answer. “ ‘Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens …’ ”
Stevie Rae picked up the next line. “ ‘Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens!’ ” “ ‘Brown paper packages tied up with strings,’ ” Shaunee sang.
“ ‘These are a few of my favorite things!’ ” Aphrodite totally surprised me by chiming in. “What?” she frowned at everyone staring at her. “Who doesn’t like Julie Andrews?”
“What do you think, Damien?” I asked.
“I think I love cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels! It’s not scientific, but I vote for ‘My Favorite Things.’ ”
“Sounds great to me. Um, everyone knows it, right?” I asked the group, and everyone except Rephaim nodded.
“I’ll just try to follow along,” Rephaim said.
“It’s okay, babe,” Stevie Rae said. “I know all the words. I’ll help you.”
“Okay, perfect. So, when the song is over, we’ll end the smudging by making a minipyre there, in the middle of the circle, right in front of the tree.” I pointed to a place in front of the center of the dark, twisted oak. “I’ll go around the circle and get the smudge sticks from Damien, Shaunee, Shaylin, and Stevie Rae—and then I’ll add them to the rest of the sticks. Shaunee, then I’ll ask you to add some fire to the pile so that it’ll burn right.”