by Susan Fox
“I can’t go to your ranch.”
“Kendra won’t buy a minute of tonight if you don’t go to the ranch tomorrow.”
“I can’t go to your ranch.”
“Why not?”
She saw the look in his dark eyes that told her he’d already guessed, but the sternness on his face told her he expected her to say it.
And why not? Why shouldn’t she answer him? Resentment roared up, and she realized it wasn’t resentment toward him so much as it was resentment toward Doris. She lifted her chin slightly and hoped the look in her eyes was more cold than injured.
“I never want to see Doris again, and we both know the feeling is mutual.”
“You won’t see Doris tomorrow,” he said calmly. “She’ll be gone long before you get to the ranch and she won’t be back until late tomorrow night.”
“The less I know about Doris, the easier all this is to…live with.”
“Ellery Ranch belongs solely to me.”
Lorna shook her head. “She lives there now, it’s been her home for years—”
“Forget that Doris lives there. I live there, Lorna, it’s my home.”
The reminder was no consolation. And the way he said it, as if he wanted her to think of it as his home, somehow implied that the fact should be significant to her. As if he was taking her to his home for reasons of his own that were personal—and that his personal reasons for doing so should also be hers. And just as personal.
If anything, spending time on Mitch’s ranch and in his home would only give her more to remember about him later.
This time, she didn’t wait for him to take the hint that she wanted to leave. She simply stood up, paused a moment for him to rise, then started toward the door as he fell into step beside her and slid his arm around her waist.
It was a reasonable thing for a gentleman to do on a date, but it only increased her torture. Her body fitted easily against his, and she loved the warm, protected feeling he gave her.
Her attraction to Mitch had been expanding by the second, and having his arm around her made her feel hot and excited inside. She’d rarely had sexual feelings and urges until tonight, but she was drowning in them now.
The moment they got to his car and she got in, she quickly got out her small wallet. While he walked around the car to his side, she tucked a couple of bills for her half of their meal above his sun visor. Mitch got in, started the car, then noticed the corners of the two bills. He didn’t comment and to her relief, he didn’t try to give them back.
Lorna managed to weather the silent ride home. When Mitch pulled to the curb in front of her building, she gave him a hasty thanks for the evening. She’d reached for her seat belt release the moment he switched off the engine, but he caught her hand before she could open her door.
“You’re in a rush, Lorna.”
Her quick glance at him, and her nearly breathless, “It’s late,” was met with a faint smile from him.
“Is this the way you want the night to end?”
The question kicked her heart into a faster rhythm. But then, part of her reaction was because she was reading the heat that had come into his dark eyes. Surely he didn’t mean to kiss her.
Her voice was husky with the fear and yearning she felt. “If you’re talking about what I think you are, then…please don’t.”
“Dress for riding tomorrow. If you don’t have boots or a hat, I’ll find some for you.”
The order was both a relief and an aggravation. A relief because she’d managed to give him a refusal that he’d apparently accepted, but a new aggravation, because he was so relentless on the subject of the picnic at his ranch.
“I can’t come to your ranch.”
His big thumb chafed gently against the back of her hand, and his voice was low and surprisingly soft. “We have an agreement.”
She felt the tendrils of that wrap around her insides. “Don’t bully me.” Somehow, instead of sounding outraged, her voice carried a hint of faint pain.
His stern expression eased. “Let me take you riding tomorrow. The creek’s cool and shady, the food’ll be good, it’ll be a beautiful day—”
“And every second of it will be dishonest and a lie,” she cut in, but even then she couldn’t make the words sound as forceful as she’d meant.
Mitch’s grip tightened on hers and she saw the heat in his eyes flare higher as he leaned swiftly toward her.
“Not every second,” he said in that lightning fast moment before his mouth landed on hers.
His firm lips dealt hers a soft concussion and somehow sealed them to his before she could either draw back or turn her head. Just that suddenly fire flashed through her and sent sweetness shimmering through every nerve in her body.
She wasn’t aware that her hand had lifted until her fingers touched his lean cheek. By then a small sliver of sanity quivered to life and she drew back.
The kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a handful of seconds, but she was scorched with it and her breath was coming as quickly as if she’d been deprived of air for several moments. Her body was wild with chaos and her brain was frantic.
“Please, Lorna Dean. Come to the ranch with me tomorrow.”
She stared at him, overwhelmed by the seductive timbre of his voice and the sincerity in his dark eyes. The way he called her Lorna Dean was so mystifyingly persuasive that she couldn’t seem to resist.
Her half-choked, “All right,” was barely audible, and she felt her heart shake with fear and excitement and self-disgust. When had she become so spineless?
Lorna fled the car abruptly, rushing so quickly to the front door of her building that Mitch was only halfway up the sidewalk by the time she let herself in. She glanced out the glass door to see him come to a halt, watched a moment more as he touched the brim of his Stetson in farewell, then felt teary as she watched him turn and walk back to his car.
Surely it was her imagination that the big man moved a little slower than normal, as if he was just the tiniest bit reluctant to leave. Surely it was her imagination again when he reached his car door and looked over the roof of the vehicle to stare at her for several pulse-pounding moments before he got in.
It was no one’s imagination that she stood there like a forlorn fool and watched him drive off until the red taillights of his car merged into the late traffic then disappeared in the distance.
Once Lorna reached the sanctuary of her apartment, she flew to her bedroom to get out of the dress and hang it up. Her body and heart were still in an uproar over Mitch’s kiss. The flurry of activity as she undressed, took her hair down and ruthlessly combed it out, was meant to impose some feeling of normalcy and routine. But not even removing her makeup and taking a quick shower did more than emphasize the notion that she’d been profoundly affected.
It hadn’t only been the kiss, it was everything about the past two days. From the moment she’d walked into the office the day before and seen Mitch, her heart had come to life.
It was as if these past few years she’d been biding her time, working hard to bring herself up in the world while she waited for the one man who was special enough to be the flesh and blood version of the ideal she’d held in her heart. An ideal comprised of a specific set of qualities that had seemed more and more fanciful and unrealistic as time had gone by. Until Mitch had appeared and given them substance.
Surely she was mistaken. The qualities she’d seen in Mitch had to be nothing more than a trick, a willing delusion conjured up by a lonely heart that had grown too impatient, a heart too easily distracted by feminine excitement and attraction to see clearly.
Lorna stepped out of the shower and vigorously toweled herself dry before she wrapped up in a lightweight robe. Her reflection in the steam-misted mirror was large-eyed and haunted, so she turned away to step into her bedroom.
As she walked to the kitchen for a soda, she heard Melanie’s distinctive knock and went to her door to open it.
Melanie held up a folded sheet
of paper to explain her presence. Because Mellie had been out all day, Lorna had slipped the note under her door earlier that evening, and no doubt her friend was wild with curiosity.
“You went dancing with Mitch Ellery?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” She gave her friend a weary smile. “And now I need someone to talk some sense into me. Or maybe knock me in the head.”
“So you’ve fallen for him.”
Lorna stepped back and her friend walked inside. They got sodas from the refrigerator and went to the living room.
“Your note said you’d explain later, so I’ve been waiting in suspense all evening.” They both chose a place to sit and Mellie leaned forward eagerly to hear the story.
Lorna quickly filled her in on everything, from the dating sham Doris wanted to her agreement to go to the Ellery Ranch for the day tomorrow.
Mellie sat silent for several minutes, then gave her a sympathetic glance. “So I take it from the utter misery in your eyes that you think Mitch Ellery is the most exciting male ever born to a woman, and you’re completely smitten.”
Lorna had already set aside her soda to prop her cheek on her hand. “It’s probably just infatuation. A crush. Falling in love so quick is never true love, is it?” She lowered her hand and looked at her friend hopefully. “At least it’s not the kind of love that’s real or that lasts. Right?”
Mellie gave her a quiet smile. “Never in all the time I’ve known you have you ever used the word love to define your feelings about a date.”
Lorna abruptly stood and began to pace, too restless and stirred up to sit still. “A truly interesting man was bound to come along sometime,” she said, struggling to sound philosophical. “Maybe it’s because he’s the first one to truly get my attention.”
She stopped pacing to turn back to her friend. “Better yet, maybe the reason he’s so appealing is because he’s the one man who’s romantically off limits.”
The conclusion didn’t so much as nudge the edge of the truth, and Lorna was privately dismayed.
“Except you aren’t self destructive,” Mellie pointed out, underscoring the notion that Mitch being off limits had nothing to do with her impossible feelings for him. “And why is he off limits?”
The question amazed Lorna because it was so monumentally obvious. “Oh, please, Mel, you know. Because of Doris. And Kendra.”
“But they’re his stepfamily. Doris is still young. She’ll probably remarry and make her life someplace else. And Kendra is getting married and moving to San Antonio. Your Mr. Ellery will soon be on his own. Besides, I doubt a man like him needs anyone’s permission to either choose the woman he wants to see or to marry her.” She grinned then. “I’ve only seen him through the peephole in my door and I can tell that much.”
Lorna’s heart leaped with hope but she shook her head adamantly. “The three of them are very close, Mel. And family seems to mean a lot to him. He wouldn’t let his relationship with Doris and Kendra fade away, and he wouldn’t let an outsider spoil it. They’ll probably stay close forever.”
Melanie’s face showed instant regret. “I’m sorry. I forget sometimes that all families aren’t as faithless as ours were.”
The word “faithless” was an understatement. When Melanie’s divorced mother had died, her father’s new wife and children hadn’t wanted her in their lives, so he’d given up his parental rights. In Lorna’s case, her adoptive parents’ families hadn’t seen her as a legitimate member of the family so none of them had wanted to take her in.
Mellie gave Lorna a perceptive look. “And that’s part of the attraction for you, isn’t it? First he comes charging in to fend you off to protect his stepsister, then he lets his stepmother manipulate him into this fake dating thing so you won’t have to hurt Kendra’s feelings to end your friendship with her.”
Mellie smiled sadly. “And you’re thinking, if he’d be so indulgent and protective with his stepfamily, what would he do for a wife and children of his own?”
Lorna felt her heart drag lower. “That’s probably what this is, Mel,” she said, suddenly choked with emotion. “I’m sure it is.”
Mellie appeared to think about it, then nodded. “Yes, that’s probably all it is. Men like Mitch are your Achilles’ heel and mine, so…I’m sure it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with him also being intense and macho and…hot.”
Melanie had said this last part deadpan, and Lorna couldn’t help the quick smile that burst up. “Well, yes, I suppose that might be part of it, too.”
They both laughed then and the dismal mood lifted a little before Melanie went on.
“I don’t know Doris and I don’t want to say anything to get your hopes up, but I think this dating thing is more than it seems. She’s up to something, and maybe it’s something good.”
The brief moment of lightness fled. Lorna glanced away from her friend, panicked by how much she longed for that to be true. “No, it’s not good, not any of it,” she said quickly. “Doris has no hidden agenda. At least none that will benefit me in any way.”
Besides, Doris’s idea of “something good” would be if Lorna didn’t exist. It wasn’t a self-pitying thought so much as it was a proven fact of life.
“You don’t think Doris is curious about you?”
Lorna began to pace again, pitifully tantalized by the notion, despite her certainty about Doris’s feelings—or lack of feelings—for her. That Doris would be curious about her wasn’t even a remote possibility, not in light of her mother’s past actions. Besides, Doris could satisfy any curiosity she might have through private investigators, and Mitch had already hired a good one.
“Doris was a royal no-show in my life,” she said grimly, suddenly desperate to dash the small bit of hope that flickered feebly despite her determination to ignore it. “She wants nothing to do with me.”
“Then I’m sorry I suggested it. If Doris is like my dad, then she’s not worth a moment’s consideration.”
Lorna stopped pacing to touch her friend’s shoulder in silent sympathy. At least she’d never known Doris. Mellie had lived with her father and his new family a while before he’d given her up. Lorna considered that an even bigger betrayal than the ones she’d suffered.
“The world is the way it is, Mellie,” she said quietly, “however much we hope it’s not.”
Mellie tried for a small smile of agreement that was more of a grimace. “So that brings us back to Mitch Ellery.”
“What I feel for him is hopeless, Mel, and it seems to get worse by the second.”
Lorna could tell by the way Melanie looked at her what was coming.
“Then don’t go near him again, Lorna,” she said with soft candor. “Call him and refuse to go tomorrow, then get out early and spend the day someplace away from here to distract yourself from thinking about him.”
Lorna glanced away from her friend, not truly surprised by how much it hurt to think of not seeing Mitch again. Before Lorna could remind her about the dating scheme, Mellie went on as if she had.
“He can tell Kendra that you stood him up without giving him a chance, so the plan works without inflicting any more of this on you. Kendra will be just as disenchanted. I hate that idea, but I’m not sure what else you can do.”
The mental picture of Kendra turning cool to her was again painful and raw. Being ill-thought-of had been a lifelong aversion, but to have her only sister think badly of her forever was too much.
The idea of immediately quitting her job to suddenly vanish from Kendra’s life surged brightly in her mind. After this perilous evening with Mitch, even the risk of financial hardship was preferable to losing both Kendra’s good opinion and an even larger part of her heart to a man she could never have.
Perhaps the dating scheme could be altered, as Mellie had said. Perhaps if she quit her job right away without notice or with very little, Mitch would agree to pretend that their faked romance had fizzled from his lack of interest in her. There would be no pretense of upset or
hurt feelings from either of them, just a low-key parting of the ways with no one at fault.
These next weeks Kendra’s wedding plans would be taking more and more of her time and focus. Once Lorna was no longer working for her fiancé, there wouldn’t be an opportunity for Kendra to have contact with her, and Lorna would surely fade from Kendra’s thoughts.
If she quit her job right away, then going to Ellery Ranch tomorrow wouldn’t be critical. The altered plan could be successful without spending the day with Mitch, and perhaps more effective if she did cancel. It might give Kendra the impression that Lorna was not enamored enough of Mitch to see him again so soon. No one but her would have to know that wasn’t the truth.
Relief began to trickle through her then. The kind of love that was the real thing never happened in the miniscule length of time she’d already spent with Mitch. If she could stop seeing him now, these impossible feelings could die a quick, natural death. In a couple of weeks, she’d be able to look back on these two days and see them as nothing more than the silly time she’d overreacted to a man because she’d been emotionally stirred up about things that had nothing to do with him.
Hadn’t losing her adoptive parents and being shuttled from one foster home to another taught her something about letting go and moving on? She wasn’t exactly a novice when it came to adjusting to new places and new people.
And wasn’t willingly giving up her job and walking away from Kendra and Mitch something she could initiate and control? If she were the one to take charge and make things happen this time, surely it would be far less traumatic than the heartbreak forced by sudden fate and the peculiar whims and mysteries of a government foster system.
Lorna was able to hang onto her feeling of relief long enough to disclose her plan to Melanie. Once Mel had gone home, she called Information for the main phone number at Ellery Ranch.
Before she could lose her nerve, she tapped out the number, then waited in suspense as she counted the rings. Though Mitch couldn’t have had time to drive all the way home yet, she assumed there was a messaging system after a certain hour so people at the house wouldn’t be disturbed by a late phone call.