Finally, he sat down on the coffee table across from me and rested his elbows on his knees. “Look, the point is that you know what happened with Delaney.”
His voice was strong, but something about his eyes said that he was still trying to figure it all out. The problem was, he didn’t actually want to talk about it with me. It was like he was having to tell me for the first time all over again. I was going to have to take the lead on this.
“I do-”
“And that’s why you should realize that this can’t go any further.”
“Why not?” I asked, tilting my head in confusion.
He stood and ran his hand through his sexy hair. “Because,” he grunted. “Because…I killed her.”
“Tony-” I stood, but he shot me a glare that had me sitting back down.
“I may not have actually butchered her, but I didn’t protect her. I should have gone in that house. I should have cleared it.”
“You always check out my apartment.”
“Yeah? And what happens when I don’t? Or when I’m out of town on a job?”
“Well, if we go through with the wedding-”
He threw up his hands in frustration, cutting off what I was about to say. “Really? Molly, you realize that we’re not actually dating, right? I mean, I don’t remember the first night like you do. I don’t feel any kind of connection with you. It’s not there! You just walked into my life and acted like we were already a couple.”
I did my best not to feel the sting of his words, but they cut deep. He didn’t remember, but one day he would and I would be here. Besides, his boss and friends were pushing for this. Everyone seemed to see how much Tony and I belonged together except for him.
“But your boss and your friends…”
“They’re fucking with me.”
No, that couldn’t be right. The way Storm talked to me, it was like he knew that Tony needed me. There was no way he could convince me that this was all some weird thing that happened because of a lack of memory.
“Tony, if you would just sit down and talk to me, you would realize that I’m not some crazy stalker. We really do have this undeniable connection. You just have to allow yourself to open up to me like you did that first night. After that, it’s all a piece of cake. We can get back to me making you meals and hanging out with my cat. And then we’ll plan the wedding,” I said with a reassuring smile.
“You don’t get it,” he shouted. “I don’t want to fucking remember!”
I flinched back, but remembered Storm’s words about not letting Tony push me away. This was what he was talking about. I needed to be strong, otherwise Tony would succeed in pushing me away and sink further into the shell of a man he was before Delaney was murdered.
“Well, too bad!” I shouted back. “Go ahead and throw your pity party, but we’re not breaking up. You can walk away. You can tell me you don’t want me, but I know better! I was there that night and I know what you’re feeling, probably better than any of your teammates. I can feel our connection when we’re together and when you’re gone. It’s strong and it’s unbreakable. So go ahead and throw whatever crap you want my way, because I’m not walking away!”
His nostrils flared just seconds before he launched himself at me. His mouth fused with mine and his hands slipped into my hair, commanding and controlling every move I made. That connection from the first night was back and burning hotter than it had then. I could feel the tingles zipping down my spine and the heat from his body radiating through me. This was the Tony I had been waiting for. He was back, and I wouldn’t let him go now.
One minute his lips were kissing mine passionately and the next he was standing a few feet from me, chest heaving and holding up his hand to keep me back. What just happened? Did he finally feel it? And if he did, why wasn’t he still with me? The look on his face was something like bewilderment, but when I stepped forward to go to him, he shook his head slightly.
“Tell me you felt that,” I whispered.
His eyes burned into mine. He felt it. I knew it. “Felt what?”
My heart sank. He couldn’t admit it yet. He was still too lost in his head. He needed to remember. That’s all it would take to bring him back to me.
“Fine. If you want to pretend that none of this is real, then turn around and walk out that door.” Surprise flicked across his face, and I continued. “I’ll still be here, Tony. You can shove me out of your life as much as you want, but what we have is hot and dangerous. It’s like an electric charge, and I know you felt it. That’s why you’re freaking out. But you’ll remember, and then you’ll know what I know.”
Still panting, he shook his head. “I feel nothing, Molly. This is over.”
He turned and walked out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. I tried not to cry. I really did, but my man was hurting and confused and I didn’t know how to help him. He thought he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worthy, but the truth was, he was one of the best men I had ever met. Something terrible had happened to him and he was struggling to deal with that, and until he did, there was a very good chance that I wouldn’t be able to break through to him.
✯✯✯✯✯
Sunday
I was a little disappointed that Tony wasn’t the one to meet me at the elevator when I showed up the next morning. In my irrational head, he would show up and tell me that he had time to think about everything and that he really loved me. Deep down, I knew he just wasn’t there yet. But that didn’t mean that I had to give up on him. Gripping the bag of food tightly in my hand, I gave Storm a tight smile and followed him into the elevator.
“How was the dinner?”
“Not as good as I hoped.”
He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets, something I noticed these men tended to do when they were uncomfortable. “Damn, I was really hoping that would help.”
“Me too.”
“Well, don’t give up. You just have to keep trying.”
“I know,” I said, taking a deep breath. I stepped out of the elevator and headed for the training center where Tony spent most of his days. “Is there any chance Tony is going to start going out on jobs again any time soon?”
“Not until he’s cleared,” Storm answered. “Neither he or Coop have done what’s needed. They have to be cleared by psych.”
“And what’s that?”
“Psych eval. Physically, they’re both ready for work, but mentally, I’m not sure that either of them are ready.”
I chewed on my lip for a minute, thinking about what I should reveal to Storm. On the one hand, he was Tony’s teammate, and I didn’t want to send the wrong impression. However, Storm struck me as the kind of teammate that was more concerned about the welfare of those on his team than anything. So, I decided to take a chance and tell him.
“You know, the first night I met Tony, he was pretty wasted. I didn’t realize how bad it was until last night.” Storm crossed his arms over his chest and stared intently at me. I could see the concern all over his face. This was definitely the right move. “He doesn’t remember us meeting, but that night, Tony told me all about Delaney. I know all about why he blames himself, but I also know that it wasn’t at all what everyone thought it was.”
“What do you mean?”
I hesitated for a minute, glancing into the training center to make sure Tony wasn’t around. He wouldn’t like me telling Storm this. “Tony and Delaney weren’t really together. I mean, they were, but it wasn’t…they were just…”
Understanding lit his face and he nodded. “Aw, shit. So, he’s not pining after Delaney and about to jump off the ledge.”
“Not at all. But everyone keeps treating him like he just lost the love of his life. And he’s got Delaney’s mom calling him all the time, and she wants to hear all these stories about them. The guilt is eating at him.”
“Why didn’t he just tell us?”
“He tried,” I shrugged. “But every time he said something, people turned it on him
and said that he was struggling and needed to get help. And he does, but not because Delaney died.”
“It’s because he feels he let her die,” Storm surmised.
“Exactly.”
“Shit,” Storm grumbled, running his hand over his jaw. “I think I’ve been going about this all the wrong way.”
“What do you mean?”
“Wait, if he doesn’t remember that night, then that’s why he’s freaking out about you.”
“Pretty much. And I know he just needs to remember. If he did, things would be different.”
He nodded and then a huge smile broke out. “Well, don’t give up. I’ll take care of things on my end, but make sure you don’t give up on him.”
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
“That’s what I like about you,” he said with a smile before walking away.
Well, at least now that Storm understood, maybe things would change a little for Tony. Now, if only I could get him to see things differently between us. But when I walked into the training center and saw him vigorously working out, it struck me that he was probably pushing harder to work out his frustrations. I was just about to turn and go when he spotted me and his face morphed into anger.
I don’t feel anything, Molly. This is over.
I took a deep breath and brushed the words from my mind. He didn’t mean that. I felt that kiss and I knew that he did too. It was written all over his face. But he didn’t remember, and until he did, he would continue to deny this and push me away.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” he spat angrily. “I told you that this was over. Go the fuck away!”
I clenched my jaw and ignored the pain knifing through my chest. “No.”
“No? Do you need me to spell it out for you? Because I’ve been pretty fucking clear that there’s nothing between us.”
“You just don’t remember,” I said, getting up into his face. “You don’t remember that night, but I do. You just need to remember,” I shouted before launching myself at him. I pressed my lips to his and wrapped my arms around his neck. He fought me at first, pushing me away from him, but I wrapped my legs around his waist and clung to him. I wouldn’t let him do this. Not again. I just had to make him remember.
I kissed him harder, slipping my tongue into his mouth when he tried to break the kiss. My tongue tangled with him and then it hit. I felt the zaps of charged energy around us as he kissed me back and his hands skimmed down my body. His mouth skimmed across mine, kissing me with an urgency that I hadn’t felt with him since our first night together. It was like everything was finally clicking into place for us. He was here, kissing me and needing me like I needed him, and there was no stopping it.
“God, Tony. I love you,” I murmured as his lips kissed across my jaw and down my neck. And then everything stopped. He stilled and his hands gripped me tight, but not in the way I was hoping for. Suddenly, he was pushing me away and I was powerless to stop him. One minute I was in his arms, and the next, he was storming away from me, not even bothering to look back as I stood there with tears in my eyes.
✯✯✯✯✯
It was so depressing walking into my apartment after my long day. After stopping by Reed Security, I went into work and pretended as best I could, but Gus knew better. He hounded me my whole shift, trying to pry out of me what had happened that had made my smile disappear. But I wouldn’t tell him. I would never talk badly about Tony. He was struggling and I had to be understanding of that. I just didn’t understand how I was going to break through to him. Every time I felt like I was making progress with him, he threw a wrench in it.
Someone knocked on my door and I groaned. I was not in the mood for company right now. I yanked the door open and stood in shock as Matt, the man from the bar stood there, staring at me sheepishly.
“Hey,” he said, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.
“Uh, hey. What’s going on?”
“I came by to thank you for the other night. I was…I was pretty wasted and I’m pretty sure that I was not a gentleman.”
I smiled unexpectedly. I didn’t think I would ever see Matt again, so it was a pleasant surprise to see him on my doorstep. Everyone always assumed that an act of kindness for a stranger would go unnoticed, but Matt was proof that I was right. He was a good guy, and was just down on himself. He just needed someone to listen.
“Well, I’m glad that I could help, and you were a gentleman. I promise, you didn’t try anything.”
Relief crossed his face and he smiled. “Well, can I take you out for a cup of coffee?”
“Oh, I…”
“Not like that,” he rushed on. “I just wanted to talk to you. I’ve been going through some shit and…God, this is so embarrassing.” He ran a hand across his jaw as he chuckled. “You just seem easy to talk to.”
Well, who could say no to that? “Sure, just let me grab my purse.”
I may not be able to help Tony at the moment, but this man needed someone to talk to and I was a good listener. We drove to the diner in town and took a seat by the window. It was a little strange to drive with him, but I didn’t want to seem rude. After we ordered our coffee, he sat there awkwardly for a moment, so I decided to take over for him.
“So, what do you do?”
He chuckled sheepishly as he stared down at his coffee. “Honestly? Not much since Sarah died. Before that, I worked as a lawyer.”
“Yeah?” I grinned, trying to draw him out further.
He nodded. “I was pretty good too. But when she started going downhill, I had some serious anger issues and I lost my job.”
“That’s understandable. I’m sure you were under a lot of pressure.”
“Yeah, well, if I could stay out of a bottle for a few days at a time, I’m sure I could get a job again.”
“You just need some time. Two months isn’t really that long when you consider what you’ve just been through.”
He shrugged, but didn’t say anything else on the subject. “So, you have a boyfriend?” I was a little thrown until he smiled at me. “You hesitated coming out with me. You thought I was hitting on you.”
“Oh,” I blushed. “Yeah, I have a boyfriend. Well, it’s a little complicated at the moment. He’s…he’s dealing with some stuff right now and it’s making things difficult.”
“Well, I know all about that. Is it bad?”
“Yeah. His sort of girlfriend was murdered a couple of months back. It’s been hard on him.”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “His…sorry, but what is a sort of girlfriend?”
“Well, they were together, but not together,” I said as delicately as possible.
His eyes lit and a chuckle slipped past his lips. It was nice to hear after seeing the broken man from the other night. “I get it. Yeah, that does sound like a tricky situation. I’m sure it’ll work out, though. You seem like a nice person. I’m sure he’ll see that.”
“Thanks.”
A shadow was cast over the table and I glanced up to see who was there. I was a little shocked to see Coop standing next to me, glowering down at Matt. He was obviously misconstruing the situation.
“Uh-”
“Molly, I thought I saw you earlier at work.”
“Yeah, I stopped by to see Tony, but-”
“Yeah,” he cut me off, his eyes still glaring daggers at Matt.
“Uh, this is Matt. I met him a few nights ago at the bar.”
He gave a chin lift to Matt, but it wasn’t at all friendly. “We should go,” he said, taking my arm in his large hand, and pulling me out of the booth.
“But I was having coffee-”
“We’ll pick up some on the way,” he said, pushing me ahead of him. “Go out to my truck,” he nodded to the truck just outside the restaurant.
My mouth gaped open and I tried to find something to say, anything to reassure him that Matt was harmless, but when his glare turned on me, I figured it was best to do as he said. I watched over my shoulder a
s he leaned over the table, doing his best to intimidate Matt, and said something to him. I watched as Matt nodded, but then I was at the door and couldn’t see what was happening. I hurried out to the truck, only catching a glimpse of Matt looking out the window at me before Coop stormed out of the restaurant. Oh boy. I had a feeling that this was not going to end well.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Tony
“What?” I barked into my phone. I had just gotten out of the shower after finishing a grueling training session with Knight. He was back for a few days at a time, not wanting to be gone all week yet.
“Your girl is having coffee with some douchebag at the diner in town.”
“What?”
“Molly. I’m watching her have coffee with some douchebag.”
A shot of unease mixed with anger ran through me, but I tried to ignore it. I had just earlier today pushed Molly away. I had no right to get pissed that she was out with someone else. But that didn’t stop me from balling my hand into a fist and slamming it into my wall. I hardly understood my sudden rage at the thought of her being with another guy. It didn’t make any sense. I didn’t even like the woman.
As soon as I thought it, I knew it was a lie. I liked Molly a lot, and as much as I wanted to deny it, I knew there was a reason that I hadn’t pushed her away after that first night. In fact, when I thought of Molly anymore, it wasn’t as the crazy lady that brought me undercooked food. It was more that I wanted to see her face and hear her voice. My head was so fucked up over her, because she was pushy and irritating with her wild ideas that we were this couple that was meant to be. But then, I really liked it earlier when she told me she loved me. I knew it was too soon. She didn’t know me well enough to tell me she loved me. I couldn’t explain it, but something inside me lit on fire at her confession. But I couldn’t admit that I liked it, so I pushed her away and walked off before I could do something idiotic, like beg her to forgive me and make babies with me.
I smacked myself in the head, irritated with myself for allowing my thoughts to go so wild. I didn’t need babies right now, especially with a woman that was so clearly insane. But just because I wasn’t ready to take that leap with her right at this moment didn’t mean that I wanted her out with some idiot either.
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