“Maybe…possibly…”
I smiled and bit my lip to not laugh at the normally confident woman. She would hear it, and I didn’t want to disrupt her outpouring by embarrassing her, even though she wouldn’t think twice about doing the same thing to me. She delighted in embarrassing me.
Approaching the door that my sleeping children were behind, I heard Gabriel laugh softly. “Are you trying to tell me that you are in love with me, Halina?”
I paused with my hand on the doorknob and looked up to the roof. Teren looked up as well as we both waited for her answer. In true Halina fashion, she scoffed at his question. “Of course not.” I frowned at her stubbornness, but then I heard the distinct sound of a kiss. After that, she muttered, “Maybe…I don’t know.”
Teren looked over at me, smiling as he nodded at the closed bedroom door. Silently, I twisted the knob. A patch of light from the hallway highlighted the sleeping bundles in the large bed they shared. Spike had come with us again this trip and he was in his favorite place, huddled between them. He lifted his head at us as we stood in the doorway, then lowered it, his bushy tail slightly wagging at his master’s return.
Teren sighed contently as he watched the chests of our children rise and fall, almost simultaneously as they obliviously slept. Unaware of just what had transpired tonight, they held hands across Spike’s body. Tears sprang to my eyes as I watched our tiny miracles slumber. Whatever price I had to pay to remain with them, I would. Teren clenched my hand tighter, kissing my head as we watched the lives we’d brought into the world.
From up above us, I heard Gabriel sigh at Halina. “I…have developed feelings for you too, feelings I never expected to feel again. You have…taken me by surprise, Halina. I do believe that I am in love with you.”
A wide smile broke out on my face as I looked over at Teren. He smiled and tilted his head, listening for his great-grandmother’s response to an outright declaration of love. I nearly wanted to cross my fingers that she’d finally admit it back to Gabriel.
“I…I…” She paused for so long that I’d have sworn that she’d jumped off of the roof, if I couldn’t still feel her up there. Sighing, she finally said, “I will miss you. I wish I could help you clean up the mess you’ve been left with.”
I shook my head at her and Teren shrugged. Some things Halina was just not ready for. Admitting love was one of them. Gabriel lightly laughed again, not at all bothered that she still couldn’t say it. If anything, Gabriel was exceedingly patient. “It is nearly dawn, my love, you cannot come with me. But, as soon as I…settle some things, I will return to you.”
I heard light kissing, then Halina murmured, “I suppose I should stay here anyway, at least until Emma is safe. I wouldn’t want her to die on my watch.” I frowned as I looked up at where she was. Teren let out a soft chuckle and I switched my frown to him. Halina’s seeming indifference to me was sort of a joke around the house. But I understood enough about Halina to not take offense to it anymore. Well, most of the time anyway.
Returning my gaze to my children, I heard Gabriel chuckle and lightly kiss her again.
Chapter 9
One Last Supper
When Halina and Gabriel finished up with their touching moment on the roof, Teren blurred down to drive Gabriel to our place. Smiling as I listened to Gabriel break up Starla and Jacen’s canoodling, I heard Halina tenderly wish him a safe trip home. As Teren’s vehicle departed along with Gabriel’s, I heard Halina sigh, nearly with content.
In the silence of the sleeping household, I told her, “I’m glad you didn’t break up with him, Halina. You two are good together.” I smiled as I thought about how similar they were. Both had been alone for a long time, having lost their respective loved ones ages ago, Gabriel even longer than Halina. Both were the protectors of their families and both could be ruthless when they needed to be. Yet, in this, in falling in love again, they were equally new and inexperienced. Almost…innocent.
Halina scoffed, blurring into the doorway beside me. “Well, I do enjoy having intercourse with him.” She sniffed. “I wasn’t ready to give that up yet.”
Like I said…almost innocent.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head at her as I stared at my children. I could feel Teren pulling away from me in my head and sighed softly, hoping he hurried back to me. The warmth of our reuniting would help ease the growing knot of anticipation in my belly. My head couldn’t stop mentally ticking off the moments. Every heartbeat I had, every breath I took, every second of time I felt passing by, was one less that I’d have…alive.
Silently watching me, Halina tilted her head, her dark hair flowing down her bare arm in the strapless dress she was wearing. “Are you freaking out?” she asked curiously.
Frowning at her, I shook my head and crossed my arms over my belly, subtly pressing in that ball of tension. “No, of course not. I know I’ll be fine.”
I lifted my chin, but even I felt the lie in my declaration. She surprisingly put a hand on my shoulder. “My own transformation was different from what you’ll be facing, but after having watched Imogen and Alanna go through the torment, I’d be fearful of it, if I was about to experience it.”
My eyes widened as the ball in my stomach grew considerably larger. Was that supposed to make me feel better? Noting my features, my accelerated heart, she shrugged. “I don’t believe in coddling you. This will be painful.” She raised an eyebrow. “But it is only pain and you have overcome far worse. I know you can do this, Emma.”
Nodding my head at her, I actually did feel a little comforted. Looking in on my children, she smiled softly. “I’m going down to my room.” Looking back at me, she gave me a serious expression. “Enjoy every moment of your last day as a human.” Shaking her head, she whispered, “You won’t get another.”
I gave her a swift hug, even though she didn’t look to be asking for one from me, then watched her languidly head down to her rooms below the earth. Once her presence was settled downstairs, I walked into my kids’ bedroom. Needing to feel connected to the people that made this scary process worth having, I crawled into bed with them.
Spike shifted to lie at our feet as I nestled in-between them. Disturbing them only temporarily, I felt Nika murmur, “Hi, Mommy,” across my skin as she wrapped her little arms over me. Julian muttered the same as he wrapped himself around me too. Closing my eyes, I inhaled their scent: the grass, the dirt, the baby shampoo, and the distinct essence of them. It calmed me, and that horrid knot melted away.
The next morning Teren and I filled in the rest of the family on what had happened the evening before. Imogen and Alanna were sympathetic, each giving me long hugs as we discussed my fate over breakfast. Trying not to worry, I watched my children build houses out of their French toast. I wasn’t hungry, but I made myself eat. I knew that this was the last breakfast I was ever going to have, so I wanted to enjoy it. I savored every bite that I made myself take.
Jack sighed and put a hand over mine as I popped a slice of bacon in my mouth. “I’m very sorry for what you’ll be going through, Emma.” His warm brown eyes clearly showed that while he adored his vampiric family, he had no desire to go through it. He had no desire to become one.
I rested my hand over his, locking in the memory of how similarly warm our skin was. “Thank you, Jack.”
He nodded, his eyes glassier than normal. Shifting his gaze to his wife, he asked her, “Should I stay the night somewhere else then?”
Alanna immediately nodded, her eyes protective. She didn’t look at me, but I wanted to vow to her, on my very soul, that I’d never hurt him. I couldn’t though. Having watched Teren suffer through it, I knew that there was a very good possibility that I might go after Jack. I hung my head at the thought. My next one immediately brought my eyes back up.
“The children!”
My panicked eyes flew to them. I could clearly hear their heartbeats, even across the table from me. Surely, they would seem appetizing to a creature literally dying
of thirst? Hadn’t Halina confessed that she’d nearly killed Imogen? The thought of harming them made bile rise in my throat. My trembling hand covered my mouth just as Teren rubbed his hand over my back. The combination gave me chills.
“We’ll get them away, Emma,” he said softly, soothingly. I looked over at him, suddenly worried that I could somehow hurt them no matter how far away they were from me. That would be my worst nightmare, my absolute worst. Teren smiled and cupped my cheek. As I heard other voices telling me that it would be alright, his sky blue eyes drew me in. “I won’t let you hurt them, Emma. I’ll keep them safe.”
I nodded in his fingertips and he gave me a soft kiss. The kids giggled, not understanding the seriousness of the situation, only knowing that Mommy and Daddy were kissing. With a faked not-a-care-in-the-world smile, he twisted to them. “How would you two like to spend the night with Grandma Linda?”
My kids erupted in loud cheers, clapping their hands. Spike, sitting behind them in case they dropped anything to his level, barked and thumped his tail, almost like he’d understood the question and wanted to go see my mom too. I laughed at the trio and slapped on my fake smile. “Okay, but you need to go easy on Grandma. She’s not as quick as your other Grandmas.”
They both nodded, their little faces alive with yet another upcoming adventure. “We know, Mommy,” Julian informed me. “Grandma’s not a vampire.” He stumbled a bit on the word, pronouncing it more with a W sound than a V, and I smiled genuinely at the innocence there. Soulless, bloodthirsty monsters? I don’t think so.
I slightly frowned as I rethought that. For a moment, just a moment tonight, that was exactly what I’d be. Driven by pure eat-or-die instinct, I’d be the epitome of every late night horror show I’d ever seen. It was not a good weight to carry around, and I was relieved that my children wouldn’t be there to witness it. Even though they’d go through it themselves one day, they shouldn’t have to see a parent that way. It would be unsettling for them. And I wouldn’t exactly be setting a good example.
Teren looked back at me while they laughed around their mouths stuffed with spiced bread. “I’ll call and make arrangements for them and Spike.”
I sighed and leaned into his side. “Don’t tell her about me, okay?”
He kissed my hair, his arm slinking around me. “Are you sure? She would want to know what you’re…going through.”
Leaning my head on his shoulder, I looked over at Imogen and Alanna talking together in a bright patch of sunlight. Even though they were in a conversation themselves, about which cows should be given up…for me, I knew that they were partially listening to our conversation. “No, my mom would insist on being here, and it’s not safe.”
Into my hair, Teren whispered, “We could make her leave once you…fall asleep.” I smiled and looked up at him. He meant when I died, but he didn’t want to scare the children with that word. They still weren’t entirely informed on what went down during a conversion. We weren’t about to tell them either, not at three years old.
Frowning as I thought over the scenario he was referring to, I shook my head before laying it back on his shoulder. “No, I haven’t told her yet about that part of this and…” Sighing, I watched Alanna twist to look at me. “No parent should have to watch their child…fall asleep.”
Alanna smiled softly at me, her eyes shifting over to Teren. Imogen grabbed her hand and she looked back at her mom. I wondered if Imogen had watched her daughter die. As the youthful but grandmotherly vampire smiled remorsefully and cupped her daughter’s cheek, I figured that she had.
Pulling back from Teren’s shoulder, I looked up at him. “I wish you didn’t have to see it.” He twisted his lips and shook his head, but before he could speak, I quickly added, “But don’t leave me.”
His eyes watered a little and he shook his head before resting his forehead to mine. “I’m not going anywhere, Em. Nothing could tear me away from you right now.” He leaned down to kiss me again, but a piece of toast sailing across the table distracted him. Straightening, he looked over at Nika and Julian pretend sword fighting with sticks of toast. “Don’t play with your food.”
Knowing the seriousness of our conversation, knowing the seriousness of my upcoming demise, I couldn’t help my reaction at the look on his face as he instantly shifted from that seriousness to stern parent, scolding our children for improper table manners. I started laughing. In my anxiousness, I started belly laughing. Tears were streaming down my face as my children joined in on the gaiety.
Knowing I was disrupting the discipline that we usually tried to instill in them, but needing a release, I grabbed a slice of my toast and chucked it over the table at them. Their little eyes widened, but giggling at me, they started throwing food right back. I dodged half eaten chunks of bread as I tore up tiny chunks of food to glob over at them. Teren sighed, but didn’t deny me my moment of fun. Softly chuckling, he eventually joined in, grabbing some fresh sticks from a platter of them in the center of the table. Only Teren started chucking them at his mom. It was about three seconds after that when a full-on food fight was in progress.
I laughed until my sides hurt. Spike happily cleaned up the mess.
Picking stray pieces of food out of my hair, I spent the bulk of the afternoon with my children. We did everything that they loved to do. We colored, we read books, we put together puzzles, and Teren and I each grabbed a child and did the vampiric version of piggyback rides, meaning we were mere streaks rushing through the house. We wore them out so much that they crashed in my arms at naptime. I stayed cuddled with them on the couch, listening to our hearts beat in unison. I tried to imagine never hearing that again, but I’d become too accustomed to it, I couldn’t.
Teren stuck close to my side throughout the day, holding me when he could, kissing me repeatedly. I knew he was offering what support and encouragement he could, and I loved him all the more for it. We didn’t speak of what was going to happen to me anymore. It was too hard to talk about around the children. I didn’t want to worry or scare them. I would come out of this fine. I was pretty sure anyway.
After naptime, Alanna started preparing the most elaborate meal I’d ever seen; it rivaled Christmas dinner. When I asked her what she was doing, she would only tell me that she was making something special for me. It twisted my stomach at the same time that it warmed it. She was literally making me my last meal. After today, I’d be on the same all liquid diet that Teren was on. While he told me all the time that food didn’t even sound appealing anymore, I really had a hard time wrapping my head around it. How could hamburgers, fries, pizzas, mochas, pasta and ice cream, suddenly not sound mouthwateringly good?
As the children played with some floured dough balls, getting the white powder all over themselves in the process, I helped Alanna cut up some vegetables. From across the house in the library, I could hear Teren call my mother, asking her if she’d like the kids for a couple of days while he whisked me away on an impromptu birthday getaway. She exclaimed her joy at the idea of having them overnight and I sighed, watching Julian help Nika squash her ball flat. It wasn’t exactly the situation I’d imagined for their first night away from me. I wasn’t sure how I’d handle them not being around, but I knew I needed to, for their safety.
When Teren told her that Jack would be bringing the kids by, since we were leaving shortly, I sighed again. I hated that he had to lie to my mother, but it was for the best. You just couldn’t tell a parent that your heart would soon stop beating and not expect them to rush out to you. I’d always meant to tell her that it would happen to me someday, but I’d never found the time…or the courage. Like most things that happened with me, I’d have to tell her after the fact. I did feel a little guilty about that.
Alanna patted me briefly in sympathy before returning to the feast she was preparing. Teren hung up with my mother and immediately called Hot Ben, both to fill him in on the situation and to talk over his own stress with a friend. He didn’t outright mention his fear, bu
t I heard it in the tenor of his voice. I tried to stop listening, to give him some privacy, and shifted my attention to a lightly humming Alanna; she also seemed to be giving her son privacy.
“Mom?” I asked softly. She twisted to me, smiling warmly at being addressed as family. Lifting her eyebrows, she waited for my question. Curious if Alanna would have done what I’d been doing for the last few years, up until last night actually, I asked, “Would you have taken Gabriel’s shot? Would you have wanted to keep aging?”
Alanna smiled and leaned back into the counter as Imogen walked into the room. Running a hand over the button up shirt tucked into her jeans, she paused to rub her empty stomach. “I would have loved to give Teren a sibling.” She sighed as Imogen walked over to slink an arm around her. Looking between the two was like watching twin sisters, not a mother and daughter. Shaking her loose, black hair, Alanna shrugged. “It was hard for me to get pregnant. I would have loved to have had more time to try again.”
I twisted my lips and nodded, trying to picture Teren with a brother or a sister. Imogen sighed as well, her free hand skimming over the long skirt she typically wore. “It was difficult for me as well.” She squeezed Alanna tight. “You were my only miracle.” Alanna smiled up at her while Imogen looked over at me. “Gabriel says that it is harder for a female vampire to conceive, than it is for a male vampire to…” She cut off, glancing down at my children watching us curiously.
Conversion Book Three: 'Til Death Page 18