Filling in the part she didn’t want to say in front of my impressionable youngsters, I let her know that I understood. “Oh, I didn’t know that.” It was easier for vampire men to knock up humans, than vice versa.
Imogen shrugged, a strand of dark hair falling from her loose bun. “If we’d known that with Teren, we probably wouldn’t have pushed him so hard.” She smiled as she listened to her grandson laughing with Ben as his friend eased his mind. “He just seemed so disinterested in settling down, we were worried that he wouldn’t want children…until it was too late.”
All of us looked at the twins. They each smiled at the sudden attention, swinging their legs back and forth on the stools as they poked holes in the dough with their fingers. Alanna handed them some pretzel sticks, showing them how to make animals with the sticks as legs. I walked over to Imogen and she looped her cool arm around me. “We shouldn’t have pushed him, I know, but look at those two…” her eyes drifted back to Nika and Julian. “How could we not pressure him for them?”
Alanna peeked her head up from in-between them, her lineless brow furrowed. “But I raised my son properly, and he knew that he had to find the right woman first, before he brought children into this world with her.” Her face relaxed as she looked over at me. “Actually, I think Carrie taught him that,” she whispered.
I nodded. Yes, his ex had taught him a lot about responsibility. But then, all exes teach us something about who we are, about who we want to be. Alanna smiled as she went back to making dough animals with the kids. “He just took his time finding you, is all.”
“Says who?” Teren asked, finally walking back into the room. Smiling confidently, he slipped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck; the roughness made me laugh. “I think I found you just when I was meant to.”
I leaned back into his arms and closed my eyes, nodding. “Yes, yes you did.”
The kids started getting anxious to leave shortly before dark. They waited until Halina was awake, so she could see them off, but really, they’d been bouncing off the walls for most of the afternoon. Spending the night at my mom’s house had never happened for them and it was an excitement that was nearly palpable. Especially when Teren told them that my mom had fresh blood in her fridge.
I frowned at him while the kids clapped their hands. “Where would she…?” My eyes widened as I remembered something about her getting a chicken coop a couple of days ago. “Did she get those chickens just…for that?” My eyes drifted down to my kids hugging Halina goodbye. Teren bought live chickens so he could drain them before cooking them. I knew my mom was okay with what the kids were, but her going so far as to provide a food source for them was pretty startlingly, especially since they really didn’t need that much blood.
Teren held me tight and shrugged. “She said she didn’t want to deny them what they needed.”
I sighed, recalling her saying that to him earlier when they’d spoken. I remembered Teren’s response; it was the same as my own. “She doesn’t need to do that. We give them all the blood they need.”
He shrugged again. “I know, but she’s a proud grandma.” Laughing softly he added, “I think if our kids breathed fire, she’d laugh and have them make her s’mores. Anything to make them feel special.” He laughed again and kissed my neck.
I shook my head at my mom. She sure had embraced them in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. I hoped her level of acceptance stretched to me as well when I came back…different. With how much she constantly surprised me with them, I was pretty sure she would.
As Jack came down the stairs with his overnight bag, a pang went through me. This was really happening. He was spending the night at our house while our kids stayed with my mom. I watched him walk over to his wife and gently kiss her goodbye. She put on a brave face but my enhanced sight saw the tremble of her lip, the moisture in her pale eyes. She probably hadn’t spent a night apart from him since her own conversion. Guilt washed through me that I was forcing them apart, if even just for one evening. I knew he couldn’t stay though. It was too risky. And I knew Alanna wouldn’t leave me until she knew I was safe. That just wasn’t her way.
Whispering words of love to each other, I pulled my sight from them, to give them as much privacy as I could. Our children detached from where they were saying goodbye to Imogen and darted to Teren and I. We each knelt down to enfold a child in our arms. Nika shivered as she held her daddy. Julian melted into me as I held him. I closed my eyes and swallowed, knowing I’d feel different the next time they held me.
“Love you, Mommy,” he said merrily, not a trace of fear or worry in his voice.
I choked up, my eyes nearly overflowing. “I love you too, baby.”
Nika separated from Teren to trade places with Julian. Nestling my head in her hair, I felt my tears fall free and heard them splash on her body. She peeked up at me, her fingers coming up to touch my cheek. “Why are you sad, Mommy?”
I smiled as even more tears fell. “I’m not, sweetheart. I just love you…so much.”
Julian broke free from Teren to rush back to me. I crushed him to my body, suddenly not wanting to let them go, even though I knew I had to. “Don’t cry, Mommy,” he murmured as his little hand stroked my back.
It was too much for my stressed body and the few tears were now a torrent. I kissed each head repeatedly as I sobbed out, “I’m just so happy to be your mommy. I love you both so much.”
Just when I felt myself really starting to lose it, my own emotion starting to reflect in my children as they voraciously clung to me, Teren gently pulled them back. “Okay kids, time to go, Grandma’s waiting.” His voice was light and soft, carefree, everything mine was currently not.
Not wanting them to know anything was wrong, I wiped my eyes dry and threw on the happiest smile that I could. “Daddy’s right.” I cupped their cheeks, their smiles returning as my tears dried up. “You guys have fun, okay?”
They both nodded and giggled, rushing to give Alanna a final hug before heading out the door with Teren. He glanced back at me with apologetic eyes and I mouthed, "thank you," so he would know that I wasn’t upset with him for disengaging them from me. I knew he was right to break the tension. I didn’t want them to feel anything but joyous about what was happening.
He nodded and left, their presence in my head shifting to the parking lot as he transferred their car seats to his dad’s truck. Jack and Alanna gave each other one long, last hug before separating, Alanna handing him a bag of the supper that he’d be missing. Jack walked over to me while I held in my stomach, anxious, nervous, and sad that half of my family was forced to flee from me. Looking down at me for a second, he shook his head and then swept me up into a hug. I blinked and hugged him back fiercely.
He wasn’t super affectionate, unlike Alanna and Imogen, so I knew that he was truly feeling concern for me. Patting my back while he held me tight, he whispered, “You come back now, alright?”
Swallowing, I nodded. “I will, Dad.” The word still tore my heart. Having lost my father at such a young age, I’d had a hole in me that Jack had helped fill. I loved him as the surrogate father that he was, and was very grateful that he wouldn’t be anywhere near my menu tonight.
Pulling apart from me, he sniffled, then headed out the door after Teren. I made myself stay in the house, but I heard my children laughing and barking with Spike. Jack said his goodbyes to his son, wishing him well with the conversion. I could hear them hug, then car doors started shutting. I turned away after that, not really wanting to hear my children leave me.
Surprisingly, I turned into Halina. The vixen said nothing, only wrapped her ice cold arms around me. I held in my tears, sniffling into her shoulder. She patted my back, soothingly murmuring, “Don’t worry, they will all be safe.” She hugged me a little tighter. “As will you.”
She said something else after that but it was in Russian. I caught a little of it, and from what I could make out, she was saying that I would finally be a sister of the night and we w
ould celebrate with a slaughter, bathing our bodies in blood. Or she could have been wishing me an early happy birthday. My Russian still wasn’t that great.
Teren swished back into the room as the sound of tires crunching down the driveway filtered back to me. I was handed off from one vampire to another as Halina passed me over to my husband. Clinging to him, I thought that I’d probably never needed him as much as I did in that moment.
Sensing my turmoil, perhaps sharing it, he scooped me up as I laid my head on his shoulder. Too exhausted to keep standing anyway, I was grateful for the assistance. Kissing my head, he sighed. “This isn’t exactly how I pictured our first overnight date without the kids.”
Blinking, I peeked up at him. Smiling softly at me, he shrugged. “I’ll do better next time.”
I laughed lightly and he smiled wider, giving me a soft kiss. Alanna walked up to us, gently placing her hand on my back. “Hungry, dear? Dinner is ready.”
She looked at the door and I knew she was thinking of her husband. Reaching out to her, to give her some comfort for her own loneliness, I nodded. “I’m starving, Mom. I would be honored.” She smiled widely and started walking towards the kitchen. Even though my stomach felt too knotted to have food in it, Alanna loved providing for her family and I knew I’d just lifted her spirits by accepting it. A small sacrifice for her much larger one.
We all sat down to the feast fit for a King. Alanna had prepared all of my favorite things it seemed. Adams’ ranch steaks, the best in all of California if you asked me, roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, macaroni salad, and even a lasagna. It was way too much food for only one person to eat, but I appreciated the sentiment. She piled my plate with a little bit of everything, then kissed my head as she tucked me under the table.
I thanked her and stared at my plate as the carafe of blood was doled out. I wasn’t the tiniest bit hungry. It made me a little sad that I wasn’t, since this would be it for me, food-wise. But really, eating was the last thought in my head; even the blood I could smell wafting in the air didn’t sound good.
Handing Teren his steaming glass, Alanna patted my back. “Eat, Emma, it will help ease the…discomfort, if your stomach is full.”
My eyes widened a bit, but I picked up my fork and did as she said. I trusted her advice; they all had a lot more experience with this than I did. Teren drank with his arm around me, cool and comforting. A silence settled around the table as the meal extended. It seemed to take about three times as long as a typical meal at the ranch. Probably because I was picking at my food. They all watched me too, like each vampire was waiting for my heart to beat its last beat right there in front of them. I wanted to tell them to stop, that I wasn’t even late for my shot yet, but as the time went by, I started to do it too, listening internally to my steady, wet thump.
Bedtime for my kids rolled around when Alanna brought out a cake. I smiled at the chocolate treat and made myself take some. My thoughts were on my kids though. I imagined my mom laughing and reading them stories. I pictured them holding hands and telling each other goodnight. It hurt my heart that I was missing it. While I frowned, Teren kissed my head, also aware of what time it was.
As I finished with all of the food that my body could handle, the time finally passed over when I typically took my shot. It felt strange to not take it. A warning bell was dinging in my head that I had to consciously ignore. It was hard to. I’d been taking the medicine for so long now that my body was nagging at me, constantly reminding me that I was forgetting to do something. Only I wasn’t forgetting. I was not doing it on purpose.
Swallowing as I leaned into Teren’s side, I stared back at all of the ice blue eyes curiously watching me. Nervous and anxious, I turned my head to Teren. “If we go to Utah, what would we do for work?”
Teren startled a little, his brow narrowing. Obviously he hadn’t expected me to ask that. “You want to talk about that…now?”
I nodded as I rubbed my full stomach. “Yes.” My eyes drifted around the table. “Waiting around to die is started to kill me…” I narrowed my eyes as Halina smirked at me. “You know what I mean,” I muttered, swinging my eyes back to Teren. “Distract me…please.”
Teren smiled and shook his head. “Well, I’ll get a job writing somewhere, maybe another monthly magazine, or maybe a newspaper.” He smiled wider, hugging me tight. “You can get a job at another accounting firm, or…really, we could get you a job anywhere you want. Feel like changing careers?”
I pulled back from him and scowled. “How are you going to get me a job anywhere I want?”
He twisted his lips and was about to answer, but Halina across the table got my attention by smiling slyly and waving. I dropped my mouth open as I understood. They compelled their way into jobs. Twisting my head back to him, I sputtered, “That’s cheating.”
He shrugged. “The job market is competitive, sometimes an edge helps.”
I scoffed and shook my head. “An edge…really.”
He chuckled and shrugged again. As I looked around the table, I took in the opulence that the family gathered around themselves - gold cutlery, crystal goblets, fine china in a pantry against the wall. And this was just one of their ranches. Even for a successful business, it seemed a little over the top.
Looking back at Teren, I cocked an eyebrow. “Okay, I know a few things about financials.” My hand swirled around in the air to indicate the luxury around us. “And a few ranches scattered across the country could not have possibly amassed the amount of money you guys have.” I looked over at Halina pointedly. “This can’t all be from ranching…so where did it come from?”
I heard Teren scratch his stubble, and Alanna and Imogen looked at each other. Only Halina kept my gaze. “Do you really want to know?”
Taking in the reluctance around me, I sighed. “I’m going to find it…unsavory, aren’t I?”
Halina grinned widely and sat back in her chair. “That depends on your definition of unsavory,” she said sweetly. “I call it survival.”
Twisting my lips, I sighed, “Okay, hit me.”
She smirked and shrugged. “Well, in my many years on his earth, I may have crossed paths with a millionaire or two. They may have felt…compelled to donate some of their wealth to my well being.” She shrugged again as Teren shifted beside me, watching me intently.
My jaw dropped practically to the floor. “You stole it?”
She tilted her head, her youthful face contemplative. “Well, that’s where the savory-unsavory line comes into play.” She shrugged causally. “I asked…they gave.”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Did they have a choice?”
She grinned merrily. “No.”
I sighed and leaned back in my chair, taking in the “stolen” wealth around me. “So, all of this isn’t really yours?”
Imogen leaned forward, her brows concerned. “Emma, it was just to get us up and running.” She smiled lightly. “I’m pretty good with financials too, and I make sure that we have sound investments, so mother doesn’t have to…do that.”
I scrunched my lips at her and shook my head. “But if those investments ever dried up?”
Imogen raised an eyebrow, her face confident. “They won’t.”
I leaned forward. “But…if they did?”
Halina snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. “They won’t.” Her tone was definite; she clearly meant it in the literal sense. If they lost everything they had, money-wise, then she’d find another person with an abundance of it and “ask” him or her for a charitable contribution, one that they wouldn’t be able to refuse.
Shaking my head, I murmured, “Now I sort of wish I hadn’t asked.”
I sighed again, not sure how comfortable I was with the situation. Teren squeezed my shoulder and looked about to speak up, but his great-grandmother beat him to it. Leaning over her arms on the table, Halina shook her head at me. “Try to understand the situation, Emma, before you condemn it solely on principle.”
Hanging
her head, she lowered her voice. “I was turned when I was nineteen. I was alone, in a foreign body, with a newborn infant. My husband was dead. My creator was dead. And every day, I worried that I might turn on my own child.” She peeked up at me, the wisdom in her eyes betraying the youth of her body.
Tilting her freely swirling mass of black hair, she indicated the land around us. “My husband left me with a fraction of this ranch that you see now, and no one here to help me with it during the day.” Sighing, she looked over to the window, out to the fields where dark shapes were standing still in the distance, sleeping. Every vampire in the room was stone silent, listening to her story; no one besides me was even breathing.
Conversion Book Three: 'Til Death Page 19