Her eyes flicking between Teren and me, she erupted into a huge grin. “Hey, you two, I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. How was your trip?”
Containing a sigh as I slipped past her into the house, I only managed to get out, “It turned out …well.” Teren had told her that he’d taken me away for a surprise birthday getaway. He’d made it sound fun while explaining it to her. It hadn’t been nearly as much fun as my mom had been led to believe.
Hearing the oddity in my sentence, she raised an eyebrow at me as she shut the door behind Teren. I had no time to confess to her what had really gone on though. Before I could even twist around to face her, two tiny beings threw themselves at my legs. Letting go of my hard conversation for a second, I dropped to my knees and wrapped an arm around each child.
Closing my eyes, I finally felt whole. “I missed you guys…so much.” Pulling back, I cupped each smooth cheek; they felt hot to me, almost feverish, but I knew that was due to our temperature difference. It made me wonder if that’s how I’d felt to Teren all this time, burning hot to the touch. “Did you guys have fun with Grandma?”
My voice was sunshine and light when I asked them, no strain or tension in me at all, but they both frowned. Nika reached up to touch my face, Julian clasped my hand. “Mommy, you’re…different.” Nika said slowly, stumbling on the longer word.
My smile stopped as Julian’s pale eyes searched my face. “You’re cold…like Daddy.” His eyes glanced down to my eerily silent chest. “You’re quiet.”
Nika brightened, her fingers on my face urging my vision back to her. “Did you get your magic, Mommy?” With the glow in her brown eyes, this seemed like the best news in the world to her, like we’d finally caved and gotten her that pony.
I swallowed and looked up at Teren beside me, then over to my mom. She had a frown on her face as she tried to decipher what my children were talking about. Knowing that I couldn’t keep them in the dark, which meant I couldn’t keep my mom in the dark, I closed my eyes briefly before bringing my attention back to them.
Teren knelt beside me as I squeezed them tight again. “Yes, yes Mommy did get her magic.” I felt the tears sting my eyes, knowing that my mom was not going to like this next part. I had to say it though. My children had to know what had happened to me, because it was going to happen to them one day.
Pulling back, I gave them each serious faces. “Mommy stopped taking Grandpa Gabriel’s medicine. Mommy’s heart stopped, but it’s okay, because Mommy has her magic and doesn’t need her heart anymore, just like Daddy. Now Mommy will always look like this and now we can all be together forever.” I said it as lightly and cheerily as I could. I heard my mom gasp behind me, but my children squealed in delight and hugged me tight.
“Good job, Mommy,” Nika congratulated me, hugging my neck.
Julian laughed as he tried to get his arms all the way around my body. “Yeah! I’m glad you’ll be our mommy forever.”
I squeezed them tight as Teren wrapped his arms around all of us. I knew that they didn’t really understand any of what had happened to me, anything but the only part that really mattered to them - I was going to be around forever. But my mother…knowing a little more about vampirism, well, I was pretty sure she understood.
Slowly twisting to look at her, I cringed. Even though I only felt hollowness in my chest where it would have been pounding before, the icy anticipation still washed through me. My mom had her hands clasped over her mouth, slowly shaking her head as the tears in her eyes started to form. Seeing her start to lose it, I transferred the children to Teren. He gave them quick hugs then quickly scooped them up to take them out to our car. They didn’t need to witness their grandmother going through hysterics.
After they left, I tilted my head at her and put a hand on her arm. “Mom?” I said slowly.
Her eyes flashed down to my hand, widening. Shaking her head, she slowly lowered her hands. “You…died?” she whispered.
Hearing my husband start to have the kids loudly sing nursery rhymes, so they would be too distracted to hear, I nodded. “Yes…I’m sorry.”
Her face scrunching in disbelief, her tears finally fell. “You’re sorry?” Her voice quavered as she stared at me. Whispering, “Come here,” she engulfed me in a hug. Patting my back, she rocked me side to side. “Why are you sorry? You’re the one that had to go through it.” Pulling back to look at me, she shook her head again. “Did you know this was going to happen when you asked me to watch the kids? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Tears dripped down my cheeks and I sniffled. “It wasn’t safe for you.” She furrowed her brow and I shook my head. I didn’t want to go into the specifics with her. I didn’t want her to think of me that way, me or my extended family. She’d been surprisingly open to what we all were, but I was pretty sure that it was mainly because she never saw us acting like typical vampires. If I suddenly went into the details of me slaughtering a small herd of cattle, well, she might see the whole thing differently after that.
Clasping her tight, I buried my head in her shoulder. Feeling her shiver, I told her, “You would have wanted to be there, and…you’ll just have to trust me when I say that it wasn’t safe…for you.”
She pulled back to look at me again, but I couldn’t meet her eye; I had to look at the floor. Sighing, she kissed my forehead. I knew I was chilly to her touch, if not Teren’s, and wondered if that grossed her out at all. If so, her face didn’t show it when she tilted my chin up with her finger. “There is so much about you…about this, that I don’t understand.” She smiled sadly and shook her head. “But if you say you were trying to protect me by not telling me, then I’ll accept that.”
Another tear rolled down my cheek as my lip quivered. I hated that I couldn’t tell her everything, but most of it would only worry or disturb her. But the bottom line for her was my happiness. If I had that, then I had a feeling she would overlook everything else.
Folding me in another hug, her radiating heat warming me, she murmured, “I love you, Emma, whatever form you come to me in.”
I exhaled in relief and gripped her back hard. A little too hard. Squirming some, I heard her squeak out, “Em? I still need air.”
Laughing a little, I pulled away from her. “Sorry.”
My mom wanted to know what my life entailed now, and I told her that I’d pretty much be just like Teren. She seemed a little sad for me that I wouldn’t be partaking in human food anymore. I assured her, just like Teren had always assured me, that I wouldn’t miss it, that it didn’t even sound good anymore. She felt my forehead and my cheeks, like she was checking to see if I was injured, then she put her hand over my heart. We both looked down, neither of us feeling the thump that should have been there.
As an odd tension filled the room, she shook her head. “You really are dead.”
Grinning like Teren did when he was trying to assure me by teasing me, I shrugged. “Just my body, I’m fine.”
She looked up at me, her brow furrowed, then she managed a shaky laugh. Shaking her head she muttered, “Vampires.” Exhaling a long breath, she quickly hugged me again. “The kids had a blast staying overnight.” Pulling away from me, she gave me an impish grin. “Anytime you and your husband feel like transforming into bats and sailing through the sky, I’d be happy to have them again.”
I could hear Teren chuckling out by the car while I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, Mom. Stuff like that isn’t possible.”
She eyed me up and down like everything about me wasn’t possible in her eyes. And I suppose to most it wasn’t. Heck, a few years ago, I wouldn’t have believed in me either. “Sure, honey.”
Chuckling at her, I heard my kids break into a chant of, “Can we fly, Daddy? I want to fly! I’m gonna try right now.” Teren and I both broke out into fits of laughter and my mom looked at me with an even stranger expression.
Shaking my head at her, I let her know that my kids were now trying to phase into bats in the back seat. She laughed, her f
ace flushing a little. “Gosh, their hearing is good. How do the two of you ever…?” She didn’t finish her questions but her heart picked up and her face filled with a blood red flush.
Tears springing to my eyes, I started belly laughing as I hugged her tight. She was referring to the challenges Teren and I faced in our love life and she was horribly embarrassed for bringing it up. If I were still able to do so, my cheeks would have been flaming hot too. Unlike Teren’s family, mine was a little more closed off about discussing each other’s sex lives. “I love you, Mom.”
My laughs subsided as I held her one last time. I tried to imagine living thousands of miles away from the warm, open woman. I couldn’t. Mom and Ashley were my family, my rocks. I couldn’t picture them not being a stone’s throw away from me. Of course, I couldn’t imagine the vampires being more than a stone’s throw away either. I just wanted everyone to stay where they were, centrally located around me. I felt horridly guilty for feeling that.
Pulling away from Mom for the final, final time, I thought of my sister. Blinking, I looked around the house that I knew she wasn’t in; I couldn’t hear her heartbeat. “Did Ash stay the night too? Did she already leave?” I asked casually as I started heading for the door. I needed to tell my sister everything that had happened, maybe somewhere away from the kids, so I could go into more detail with her.
Mom cocked her head at me. “Too?” She shook her head. “Ash didn’t come over last night. She’s been pretty busy at work lately. I actually haven’t seen her much this past week.” She frowned, and I figured Ashley had a visit with Mom in her near future.
Nodding, I put my hand on the door. “I called her last night, but she wasn’t home, I just figured she was with you.”
Mom shrugged and shook her head. “Nope, sorry.” Eyeing me, she narrowed her eyes. “She doesn’t know that you…?”
I shook my head. “No, which is why I need to talk to her.”
Mom looked thoughtful as she nodded. I smiled and wished her well, thanking her for watching the kids as I opened the door. Before stepping out into the bright California sunshine, I twisted back to her. “You don’t have to do the chicken-thing Mom. Teren and I take care of the kids’ needs.”
She smiled in that way that clearly said, ‘I’m a grandma, it comes with the territory’. “I know, Emma, but I couldn’t resist giving them a special treat.” She looked out to where she could see them in the car through the window. “They’re so…special.”
She smiled softly while I shook my head at her. “You’re going to spoil them.”
Looking back at me, she winked. “That’s my job, honey.”
Laughing at her, I finally stepped out to rejoin my husband and my children. He’d turned the stereo on, and Russian folk songs were playing through his speakers. He leaned over the hood as I stepped up to the passenger’s side; I could still hear my kids debating on whether or not they were part-bat. Smiling at me, he tilted his head. “That wasn’t so bad, right?”
I shook my head and laughed. “One family member down, one to go.”
He nodded and opened his door to get in. Hopping in myself, I shifted around to ask my kids all about their stay at Grandma’s. As they went on and on about all the things they got to do, I realized my mom was right; they’d had a blast.
Knowing what I needed, Teren took me directly to my old Victorian townhouse. I smiled at the adorably cute, blue milk carton of a house that my sister now lived in. I had a lot of good memories at this place; I did sort of miss it.
Teren left the car running as he pulled in next to Ashley’s compact. Frowning at him as I put my fingers on the handle, he shrugged. “I thought I’d take the kids to the…” He looked back at them before looking back to me, “p-a-r-k.” He spelled it out so they wouldn’t scream in merriment upon hearing their destination. Shrugging again, he nodded towards the house. “I figured you’d want some privacy for this one.”
I swallowed as I followed his gaze to my sister’s door. This one was going to be a little harder, since Ash knew…everything. Looking back to him, I leaned in for a light kiss. “Thank you,” I whispered.
He nodded. “I’ll come back in an hour.”
I nodded and moved to get out. The kids started complaining that I was leaving, then seeing where they were, they started complaining that they couldn’t go see Ash too until Teren finally revealed where they were going. Then they could have cared less about visiting their aunt. Merrily, they waved me off, cheering the whole while about going to the park with Daddy. Nika was especially excited to have Daddy push her on the swings; Julian told me so.
I blew my husband a kiss as I watched him pull out of the drive, then I twisted back around to my old door. Feeling nostalgic, I ran my hand down the rough grain of the shockingly red beauty. It felt like coming home, but a little different too, since Teren’s home had been my real home for years. The sun glinting off the red rubies surrounding the flawless diamond of my wedding ring, I finally knocked.
I heard Ash mutter that she was coming long before she made it to the door. Luckily, she’d been downstairs. The steeply angled staircase was a little uncomfortable for Ash, so much so that Mom told me that she sometimes slept on the couch in the living room. I felt a little bad about it, like maybe she should move somewhere easier for her, but Mom insisted that she loved the home, and loved the independence of living there alone.
She smiled brightly when she saw me, then my enhanced vision watched her cheeks fill with a rosy flush. “You alright?” I asked, stepping into my old entryway.
She nodded, biting her scarred lip. “Of course, you?”
Her tone was polite, so I knew she hadn’t spotted anything odd about me…yet. “Well, that’s why I’m here actually.” I looked away as she shut the door. My sister had repainted the atrocious living room so it no longer resembled split pea soup. It was now a pretty almond color. She’d done it pretty recently too; I could still smell the fumes.
As she bunched her brow at my statement, I pointed to her walls. “That’s new. It looks nice.” Furrowing my own brow as we both walked into the room, I shook my head. “Why didn’t you call me? I would have helped you do it?”
Ashley grinned as she sat on my old couch. “Because you cheat.” I grinned as I sat beside her, remembering how I could blur around her while I painted. As I laughed, she added, “Besides…I did have help.”
She leaned back against the cushions and smiled as she played with a stand of her hair. It was nearly the same sort of satisfied, contentment that Tracey got on her face when she talked about Hot Ben. Leaning back into the cushions, I raised my eyebrows. “A boy?”
Her flush deepened and she looked down at a button coming loose from the couch. Laughing at her reaction, I slung my hand over her thigh. Her eyes widened and her head snapped up at me. I stopped laughing, remembering why I was really here. Her hand came up to tentatively touch my cheek. “You’re cold…really cold,” she whispered, her alive brown eyes glossing over with forming tears.
Sighing, knowing that even my breath was chilly, I felt my own tears sting. “I tried to tell you last night, but you were…out.” My brows bunched again, wanting to ask her where she was, and if her painting friend had anything to do with her absence. But her eyes were only filling as she watched me, and I knew that now wasn’t the time for girl talk. Cupping my hand over hers, I whispered, “I died last night…well, this morning.”
She pulled her fingers away as both of her hands went to cover her mouth. As she gasped, her eyes flicked down to my silent chest. I sighed again, wishing I could make the defunct organ beat again, if only just for Ashley. Shaking her head, she brought her fingers to my neck. I exposed the skin to her as she searched for the scar that was no longer there. Her rough fingers felt along the artery in my neck after her visual inspection. I knew those veins were thick with blood, but they streamed, not pulsed, so Ashley’s human fingers wouldn’t feel the difference. To her, all she would register was that I didn’t have a hea
rtbeat. I was a walking, talking contradiction.
“Oh my god, Emma.” Her eyes came back to mine as the tears finally spilled down her cheeks. Wrapping her arms around me, she brokenly whispered, “Were you scared?”
Feeling my own tears, I let down the wall of bravery that I’d kept up for my mom and children. “I was terrified. If Teren hadn’t been there…I think I would have gone mad.”
She held me back tighter, the hand rubbing circles in my body also slightly warming my dead flesh. “I’m so sorry, Em.” Pulling back, she cupped my cheek again. “Did it hurt?”
Tilting her head, she bit her lip again. Watching her beautifully imperfect face twist in sympathy for me, I thought over the years of abuse her body had suffered since her accident. Especially in the beginning. Her recovery had been excruciating, a fate I would never wish on anyone. Shaking my head, I told her, “It was nothing…piece of cake.”
Conversion Book Three: 'Til Death Page 23