by Cathryn Fox
“What is Tyler doing there anyway?” I hear the worry, the accusation in his tone.
“He was tutoring a student.”
“Tanner, that’s right.”
“He came across me fighting Caleb off in the classroom. If he hadn’t shown up…”
“Sara—”
“I’m okay, Dad.”
“Okay, get yourself home. I’ll look into the situation tomorrow.”
“I’ll stop in to see you before work, okay? Give Mom a kiss and let her know I’m fine.”
“Just shoot me a text when you’re home safe okay?”
“I will.”
She ends the call and her breath is fog in front of her face as she exhales.
I touch her cheek, run my thumb over her chilled flesh. “You know you had the situation under control, right? I didn’t save you, Sara. You saved yourself.”
“I’m not so sure about that. My legs were so rubbery, I wasn’t even sure I could make it to the door.”
I fist my hand and lightly nudge her chin. “You did good, kid.”
She attempts a smile, but she is still trembling. She glances down at her feet. “I want to take some more self-defense lessons.”
My heart aches, hating that I was gone all these years and wasn’t able to protect her. That I hadn’t gotten to her faster, to stop any of this before it started. I mentally kick myself. I had the fucking information on the douchebag, and sat on it, waiting for her to come out so we could talk. I hadn’t expected them to be together tonight, for him to try to… Fuck, I can even bring myself to think of the ugly word.
“I can teach you some moves,” I say. “If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s fighting.”
“You can teach me to fight?”
She blinks, and I catch the tears pooling on her lashes. I brush them away. “Yeah,” I say. “My buddy gave me a key to his gym, and I go there after hours. If you want, you can come with me.”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay, let’s get you home, and we can talk more about this once you’re warmed up.”
I help her onto the bike and climb on front. Her hands slide around me and hold on tight as I drive her home. I don’t park on her street. Instead, I move on to the next. No way do I want anyone seeing my bike outside her place. I help her off, and we walk through the dark night until we reach her building. She fishes they key from her pocket and I make an attempt at humor.
“If you can’t find it…”
She grins, produces the key and waves it in front of my face. “I don’t even want to know what it is you do to get in here.”
She opens the door and I hold it for her to enter. I stay close to her as we walk to her apartment, and she drags in a deep breath, like she can finally breathe again when we step inside. I understand the feeling. Now that I have her safe in her home, my chest loosens, allowing me to draw in air again, too. She’s still shaking, and I guide her to her sofa. I help her out of her coat and she fires off a text to her father as I grab the throw blanket to wrap it around her.
Once she’s all tucked in, I go to the kitchen, grab the bottle of wine from the fridge and pour her a glass. Her hand quivers when she takes it from me.
“Drink up,” I say.
She nods, takes a sip and I start to walk away again.
“Where are you going?” she asks, a measure of panic in her voice.
“Run the bath.”
“Okay.” She takes another sip of wine as I step into the bathroom, and drop to one knee to turn on the water. I adjust the temperature, pour some of her vanilla scented body wash into the tub and make my way back into the room. Her wine is almost gone, so I remove the glass from her hand, set it on the coffee table, and pull her to her feet.
“Let’s get you warmed up.” I hold her hand and guide her to the bathroom. She reaches for her torn sweater, and I help her remove it, then I unhook her bra and toss it aside. I look over her body to check for bruises, then make quick work of her pants. I drop to my knees, and tap her legs one at a time. “Lift.”
Once I have her stripped bare, I sit on the edge of the tub and help her in. Water splashes over the sides, soaking me as she settles into the sudsy water and I turn off the tap. I drop to the floor and lean against the wall, my mind going over the night and how much worse it could have ended. I need to stop the direction of my thoughts, or I’m going to have to break something.
I reach into the tub and take her hand in mine. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, Sara.”
Water splashes as she sits up straighter. “Tyler, don’t, you—”
My throat is aching when I say, “For the last nine years, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“Ty,” she says and cups my cheeks. There are tears in her eyes as she looks at me. I lean into her, and when her lips touch mine in a soft kiss, and I finally come down from my adrenaline rush, I shake all over. “Are you okay?” she asks.
“No, Sara,” I say, my voice deceptively calm when all I want to do is hit something. “Not even a little.”
12
Sara
Early morning sunshine slants against the wall, pulling me from my sleep. I jackknife up in the bed and grip at my throat to loosen the noose cutting off my air supply, but as my nails scratch skin and the world around me materializes, I realize it was just a bad dream. I’m not up against a wall, Caleb’s rough fingers tightening around my throat, his foul breath spilling over me as he tells me all the ways he’s going to hurt me. I’m home in my bed, safe for the time being. I gasp in relief, but it comes out sounding more like a cry.
“Sara,” Tyler whispers, his voice hoarse from sleep as he reaches for me. His hand snakes across the mattress, and he touches me in a comforting way. But my heart is crashing so hard against my chest I think it might break a rib. “Come here.”
The roughness in his voice gives way to softness as he pulls me to him, and I melt against his body. He surrounds me with his heat and strength and the anxiety ebbs away when I find myself within the safety of his arms—a temporary calm in the storm my life has become. When Tyler holds me like this, I can’t help but think the image on the outside—tough and scarred—doesn’t fit with the man on the inside. Much like Caleb. A man who was wealthy, educated, always so well put together, but on the inside he was ugly and flawed. The signs were there now that I think about it, but I’d been so driven to get over Tyler, I’d missed them. I just hope it’s the last we see of him around here.
Tyler broke your heart, Sara. Is he really who you think he is on the inside?
No, he’s not, and I’d be wise to remember that as we play out this thing between us. But no one has ever evoked a need in me the way he does—which is why we need to ride this thing out, let it burn bright until it all fades away.
With my face to Tyler’s bare chest, I breathe him in, let his warm scent fill my lungs as he brushes my damp hair from my face. A moment later, he inches back and deep worried eyes search mine.
“You were having a nightmare,” he says. “I suspect you will for a while.” He goes quiet, his eyes dark and tortured—sorrowful—as they look past my shoulders.
“What?” I ask, and trail my finger over his chest and his muscles bunch beneath my touch.
His throat works as he swallows hard, then he asks, “Do you think maybe you should get some counseling?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m okay. It was just a bad dream.”
“I don’t think you should go in to work today. I’ll call in too, and stay with you.”
I touch his face, warmed by the sweet gesture. “No, Ty. If I do that, then it gives Caleb power over me. I won’t do that. What happened, happened. We can’t change that, but we both need to move past it.”
“Together,” he whispers. “Like old times, when we could get through anything together. Remember?”
“I remember. Like old times,” I say, even though we can never recapture what we’d lost. He touches my arm, and a shudder vibrates through
me. The air around us changes, charges, and I’m certain that I’d never needed Tyler more than I do this very second. I lift my chin, and close my eyes, offering him my lips and my body—but not my heart. Never again. That still doesn’t stop everything inside me from craving to feel the warmth only this man can give me. When the kisses don’t come, my lids flicker open to find tortured eyes staring back. “Kiss me, Tyler,” I say and put my hand on his shoulder.
He runs his thumb over my cheek, a feathery light caress that brings on a quiver as his eyes fixate on my mouth. “Are you sure?”
I take in the uncertainty in his eyes, and I understand where he’s coming from, but I refuse to let Caleb come between what we’re trying to do here, or hold any kind of power over me. I’ve had worse things happen in my life—things that I didn’t walk away from unscathed. Tyler and I don’t have forever, we only have today, with no guarantee of a tomorrow or a tomorrow after that. I need to make the most of every second, and pray it helps us break this insane connection gripping us both so we can move on with our respective lives.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything,” I say, arousal edging my voice. “I need you to touch me. I need your hands on my body.” Only Tyler’s tender hands can wash away Caleb’s crude contact, and help me forget and move past last night.
I roll onto my back, and pull Tyler with me. His hard body settles over mine, presses me into the mattress, and sheaths me in a bubble safety. His lips find mine and as we exchange soft kisses, I put last night’s situation out of my brain. Now is not the time to ask why the Phantoms were watching him. Although I can’t help but wonder if they’re trying to initiate him—now that he’s a criminal and all. Or is he in some kind of danger? While Ty was busy talking to the officers, the eye contact made between Caleb and the gang leader as he was being led to the police cruiser hadn’t gone unnoticed by me. Caleb comes from a privileged background and might be a lot of things, but in no way do I think he’s mixed up with a gang as dangerous as the Phantoms. Maybe he was just staring in shock, the same way I was. Either way, I have more important things to thing to think about right now, mainly the way Tyler is breaking the kiss, our breaths hot on each other’s skin as our heart rates kick up a notch.
Big fingers idly stroke my hair. “I love kissing you,” he murmurs, his soft words and the need behind them stripping me bare. “I’d spend the rest of the day in this bed just kissing you if you’d let me. Then again,” he says, grinning. “There are other things I need to do to you.” We breathe together and he puts his lips back on mine, a slight caress, then begins kissing a hot path down my neck. I sigh, astonished at the tenderness in his touch, the slow way he’s seducing my body, when he’s so clearly as needy as I am. The trembling of his muscles, the impatience in his body, and the way his breathing has changed, becoming labored, is a testament to his current state of restraint.
I move beneath him, rake my hands through his hair as he lifts the t-shirt covering my body, a t-shirt he dug out of my drawer and pulled over my head after carrying me from the tub to bed last night—where he tucked me in and held me until I fell asleep.
His big warm palm cups my breast in an achingly familiar way, and he kneads slightly as his tongue languidly slides over my pert nipple, a slow unhurried taste I can feel all the way to the hungry spot between my legs. He treats my other breast to the same pleasure as his erection throbs against my leg, and my hips lift as I shudder involuntarily.
He pulls his mouth from me, and inches back. The rush of cool morning air kisses my damp nipples, and a noise catches in my throat. The hot-cold combination is most erotic and we’re suddenly nineteen again, making out in my dorm room. But it’s not that boy I invited back into my bed, it’s the man he’s become. The two aren’t the same and I can’t ever forget that. Nor can I ever forget how frightening it is that I want him, either way.
Deft fingers grip my thighs and widen them. He glances up at me, a quick check in behind heavy lidded eyes. I smile, letting him know I want this. The rough pads of his warm fingers dig in deeper as he spreads my thighs and bends my knees until they’re by my sides.
“I like you wide open like this for me,” he says, the heat in his voice enough to make me orgasm without ever having been touched. “Stay just like this for me.”
He goes back on his heels, and I capture my knees in my hands to hold the position. My gaze rakes over the pleasure sliding across his face. Seeing him so happy, catching the waves of contentment radiating from his body, does the most ridiculous things to my insides. His burning eyes leave mine slowly and track down my body. He touches my inner thigh, and with the lightest of touches, he circles his finger over my quivering flesh. I shut my eyes against the beautifully broken man with the deep scars, lost in the way he’s touching me.
“Look at me, Sara,” he whispers, and my lids flicker open at the vulnerability in his tone. “Do you need my cock in here?” He brushes his knuckle over my sex, nudging my swollen clit.
“Yes,” I cry out as pleasure consumes me.
“You need me to fill you up and make you feel good?” The hunger in his voice lights up every dancing nerve inside me, and I open my mouth to speak, to beg him to make me feel good, but the only sound that comes out is a shattered cry.
“Yeah, you do need me, don’t you?” I take in his eyes, dark, intense…unguarded, as they caress me with sultry heat.
Since my voice has failed me, I nod, and it brings a slow smile to his face. He pushes on my hands and my knees drop toward the bed, leaving me so wide open and exposed it might have frightened me if it was anyone else but Tyler in my bed.
“I need my mouth on you first.”
Yes, please…
He bends, and parts my folds with the soft blade of his tongue and I expel a heavy breath. So good, so damn good. He gives me a long, slow lick and I shut my eyes against the pleasure—the soft, slow seduction driving every sane thought from my passion-rattled brain. He pulls back and I cry out from the loss. My gaze flies to his, and he’s brushing his tongue over his bottom lip.
“Fuck, I love the taste of you,” he murmurs, like he’s completely savoring my flavor. My pulse kicks up a notch, as everything inside me blossoms from the way he’s treasuring me…us.
He bends forward to bury his face between my legs again, and I go up on my arms, hypnotized as I watch him swirl his tongue over my sex. It has to be one of the most erotic things I’ve ever seen.
Dizzy with longing, and a throat that is far too tight with emotions as this man pleasures me, I move against him. “Ty, that feels so good,” I finally manage to say. My gaze drops to his hard cock, and I know it’s taking all his effort to go slow. I wet my mouth, wanting it on him. He glances up at me, and when our eyes meet, it’s clear he knows what I’m thinking.
“You want your mouth on my cock?” he asks.
“Yes, I want you to come down my throat.”
“Sweet fuck,” he curses and it brings a smile to my face to know I can reduce this rock of a man to a quivering mess.
“If I do that, I’ll never get inside you.” He pushes two thick fingers into me. “So hot, wet and tight. My cock is dying to slide in here and fuck you long and hard.” He moves his fingers, stroking the sensitive bundle of nerves inside. “But I can’t say no to you, Sara. If you want my cock in your mouth, that’s what you get.”
“I’ll tell you what. Since you’re letting me call the shots, how about tonight I’m all yours, anything you like. You can even tie my hands to the bedpost.” I smile at him, my mind taking me back to all the fun things Tyler liked to do in bed.
As I offer him a measure of trust with my body, I catch the play of emotions on his face, the pain in his gaze, and my stomach twists, knowing how haunted he is by past incidents.
“You’d…you’d let me do that?” he asks, a hitch in his voice.
“Maybe on my way home I’ll also stop at that little sex boutique at the mall.”
“Maybe I’d like that,” he says, and g
iving me his full attention, pumps a little faster. One big, callused hand slides up my body to pinch my nipples, and I moan against the erotic assault.
“I’m going to be hard all day thinking about the things I’m going to do to you,” he grunts out.
Desire races through me as I envision it, but my mind goes to the points of pleasure between my legs. Breath shallow, I curl into him, wrap my entire body around his penetrating fingers as he slides his thumb along my sex, and drags it over my clit. Heat sparks inside me, lighting behind my eyes, until my vision fades and the only thing I can do is feel—every delicious touch of this man’s hands and mouth.
My body thrums with excitement as he applies pressure, the perfect amount of friction to take me to the edge and leave me hovering. He laps at me, his hot tongue searing my flesh and I want to let go, freefall over the cliff as much as I want to hang on, suspended on the precipice a little longer.
His fingers pump, his thumb sweeps and his mouth feasts, the perfect trifecta to deliver a mind-numbing orgasm. My body swells, a beautiful feeling of fullness building as he plunges deeper harder, blunt strokes that prolong the pleasure. I move against him, my body hot, flushed, as he eats at me like a man starved. His fingers shift, rotate, and desire twists inside me. No longer able to hold off, I give in to the hot release of pressure.
“Yes,” I cry out and grip the bed sheets as my senses explode. I close my eyes against the flood of heat as Ty kisses me hungrily, drinking in every last drop as I come and come and come, my entire body a quivering mess, every muscle clenching as he laps at me. He moans from between my legs, and pulls his fingers out when I stop spasming. He goes back on his heels, and puts his fingers into his mouth. A shiver wracks my body and I nearly tumble into another orgasm. When I stop quaking, he slides up my body and moans against my throat. The vibrations go right through me. His cock settles against my thigh, rock hard and ready.
He brushes my hair from my face. “While we’re working on getting past us, I’m going to make you come like that every day, Sara. Every single day.”