by Marly Chance
Her eyes flew to his face, but his tone was innocent. Deciding to give him the benefit of the doubt, she studied the fruit. Immediately she noticed there were no bitter yellow ones. Picking up a purple and red one that she remembered was pretty tasty, she took a bite. It was strangely salty for a fruit, but pleasant.
Again in that same overly innocent tone, he said, “It is indeed fortunate that you enjoy salty flavors.” His eyes were devilish.
She choked. “Okay. Enough. I haven’t had breakfast yet. I’m not up to mind reading and double entendres. I’ve had that bloodbath of a shower, but I need caffeine. What are the odds that you have coffee?” She wasn’t annoyed but his teasing wasn’t helping her frayed nerves.
He smiled. “I am sorry, but we do not have coffee.” He gestured to the opaque cup in front of her. “We do haveykanze juice. It is very refreshing.”
She peered suspiciously at the dark green liquid in the cup. “It looks like cough medicine.” When he laughed, she took a cautious sip. It was surprising good. The liquid was hot and a little spicy. It tasted somewhat like a Bloody Mary. She felt the heat as it made its way to her stomach. “Is it alcoholic?”
He shook his head. “No, it is not fermented. It is also not addictive, although many claim it unthinkable to begin the day without it.”
“I like it.” Her voice reflected her surprise. “It’s different, but it’s good.”
He looked as if he wanted to tease her again. At her discouraging look, he merely shrugged and began eating. The two of them ate in companionable silence for a while. She concentrated on her food in a conscious effort to avoid thinking too hard. When she finished, she looked up to find him watching her. “What?” She said, a little apprehensively.
“I am merely enjoying the sight of you this day,sherree.” His eyes roamed her body with possessive satisfaction. “I have fantasized about you for so long. It is still a wonder to have you here.”
Straightening in her seat, she decided it was time to take control of the situation before sex clouded things. With as much firmness as she could muster, she said, “We need to talk.”
He winced. She guessed those words struck fear into the heart of any man, regardless of home planet. With a resigned shrug, he nodded his head. Sharon was relieved at his agreement. It was time to get some answers. She had been avoiding some things and he had deliberately distracted her about others. That was going to change. She was a librarian. Information was knowledge. Knowledge was power. Where to begin?
She remembered his comment at the portal. It had been nagging at her since that time. “What did you mean when you said you knew about me a year ago?” She wiped her face with the cloth from her lap.
“I found you telepathically a year ago.”Liken paused, searching for the best way to make her understand. “You would have experienced it as a kind of daydream. I had been reaching out to you since my twentieth year and then suddenly, you were there. My mind brushed yours.”
“How oldare you?” What if Shimerians aged differently? She hadn’t thought to ask about it until now. He could be much older or younger than she thought.
“I am the equivalent of thirty-four Earth years.” He answered her unspoken thought. “Earth years and Shimerian years are roughly the same. I was thirty-three when I found you.”
She thought about that for a minute. “Why did you wait?” She quickly tried to correct that. “I mean, not that I’m complaining or anything. I’m curious.”
His eyes were steady on hers. “You were not ready, Sharon. I knew the adjustments you would have to make would be very hard. I wanted to give you time. Time to yourself. When I connected with you, I saw your image of your future.”
When she merely continued to stare at him in confusion, he elaborated. “You think of yourself as very ordinary. You are cautious by nature. You value safety and control. The future you envisioned was very comfortable. Your job at the library, a few good friends, a very ordinary man who would love you, one or two children. Nothing extraordinary. No trips to foreign planets. No alien pactmates. Nothing too different from the safe life you were leading. You did not want adventure, Sharon. You did not want disruption and challenge and a new culture. In short, you did not want a life with me.”His voice held no hint of hurt, merely stated the facts.
She let out a breath in protest. “Okay. Thanks for making me sound like the dullest woman on Earth. If you were so convinced that I didn’t want a life with you, then why wait a year and then summon me to oath? I don’t get it.”
He considered her words. “I waited to give you as much time as I could in that safe life. I want you to be happy, Sharon. You may not admit it now, but that safe life you were leading was growing boring.”
She thought it over. She had been growing restless of late. Over the last couple of years, she had begun to wonder what was missing in her orderly life. She had felt a kind of wistfulness for something more. She had never managed to figure out exactly whatmore entailed, but she had been conscious of it. However, that didn’t mean she had been yearning for adventure on quite this scale. “What if I had married one of those ordinary men, huh?” Her tone was challenging.
His look was fierce. “You would not have pledged with another man after we connected. Our destiny was decided in that moment.”
“So, what does that mean? You thought you’d give me time to grow bored? And then rescue me from my idiotic little life, is that it?” She was getting angry. Could he be any more insulting?
“I am not trying to insult you. I am merely explaining. You needed time to see that the path you were taking would not make you happy. You needed time to yourself so that you could adjust to all of the changes later.” He was losing patience. She was trying to distance the two of them.
She could feel his irritation. It was strange to be so closely attuned to someone, even when arguing. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. She tried for a placating tone. “I don’t want to fight. I’m just not sure I like you being the one to make that kind of a decision about my life. I make my own decisions.”
He challenged bluntly, “Would you have wished for me to claim you a year ago?”
She considered the question honestly. “No, I guess you’re right. I probably would have been even more freaked out then than I am now.”
Her agreement calmed him. “I was aiming for your happiness then,sherree. As I aim for it now.”
With a little nod, she acknowledged his words. “I appreciate that. I believe you mean it. I just don’t like the feeling that you were waiting in the background, calling all the shots.”
He looked a little puzzled at the statement. Then understanding seemed to hit. “I see. I understand, but it was the correct thing to do at the time.”
“Okay. Let’s put that aside for a minute. What do you mean you connected with me a year ago?”Could he have known about her for a year without her being aware of it? The thought unsettled her. Just how much did he know about her?
Liken sensed her growing unease and decided a full explanation might help her.“Perhaps I should explain some other things first. Shimerian males, from the time they begin school, learn Shimerian and Earth cultures. Our studies included Earth languages, customs, ideas. It was a preparation for our future. At the same time, we learn how to focus our mental abilities.”
Her attention was caught. She interrupted. “What exactly are those abilities?”
Liken chose his words carefully.“Some of it is difficult to explain. We can harness mental energy and convert it to other types of energy. In that way, I was able to control the light mechanism this morning. I confess, however, that I do not have much of what you would call telekinetic ability. Also, we are able to reach out with our minds and touch the minds of others. We can all shield against others to a certain degree, but it varies according to individual abilities. For instance, I am a high degree shielder, but I am even better at probing.”
She could attest to that.Memories of him thrusting into her last night swamped he
r.The thought brought a blush to her face.
His expression reflected his amusement at her thoughts. “By probing I mean getting information from another. It is very helpful in my profession. When I need to question someone, even if they are uncooperative, I am able to get the information I need.”He was not boasting. He was considered to be one of the best probers in his section.
She could see how that would be a huge advantage with a suspect. So much for the right to remain silent. “Your English is very good. Have you used probing to help with that?”
He looked pleased with her compliment. “Yes. The schooling we received was effective, but a lot of Earth expressions are very confusing. Your slang is quite colorful. Probing has been very helpful in understanding it.”
She considered his words. “Of course, to be exposed to slang… Have you been to Earth before?” She didn’t know why she found the idea so surprising.
“Yes, of course. I have been to Earth many times. To many of your different countries. You have a great variety of cultures. It is quite amazing.”He smiled at the thought of his visits to Earth. They had been quite educational and highly entertaining.
“Wow.” She suddenly realized something what should have been obvious. She knew from last night that he was a very experienced lover. There weren’t many unattached Shimerian women. So he must have been having sex with…
He raised his eyebrows. “I have found your people to be very friendly. Earth females in particular seem to find Shimerian travelers quite exotic. Although I was never able to stay long, I developed many…friendships…during my stays on your world.”
The emphasis nearly made her snort.She’d bet on it. She had seen Shimerian males before, of course. Although she personally had never had much contact with them, she had never paid much attention in the past. Other than their good looks and larger size, most of them pretty much blended in with the surrounding culture. Just ordinary travelers touring the city or out having a good time. Probably, she conceded to herself, too big and powerful looking for her to want to cross paths with them much either.
Looking back, she realized none of them seemed to be lacking in female companionship. She suddenly pictured Liken out having a good time with some other woman. She frowned. His past was none of her business she told herself firmly. For that matter, after the knowing period, it was no concern of hers if he slept with someone else. Right? Her heart gave a pang at the thought.
He looked pleased. “There is no need for jealousy,sherree. I want only to be with you now. We are merged.”
“Stop doing that!” she said sharply. “Stay out of my head. You said I could have some privacy. It’s not right for you to just march into my thoughts and read them like today’s newspaper.”
This was the part of the discussion he had hoped to avoid. He knew it would put them in conflict, but he did not want dishonesty between them. “I cannot completely leave you, Sharon. Our minds have been merged.” He tried to find a way to make her understand the truth of it.
She was indignant. “Oh, that’s just great. Don’t you have some control over this thing?”
He felt his patience strain at her tone. “Yes, I have some control. But a part of me is always with you. I can withdraw to a certain degree, but when you are agitated, as you are now, it is…”
He tried to think of a way she would understand. “It is like having the volume of a radio turned to the maximum level. You broadcast. I cannot help but listen. After a time, I will become better at blocking you, but it will be helpful when you become better at not broadcasting.”
He was reading her every thought. This was not good. She needed to calm down. She could feel his growing impatience pressing against her in waves. She was in over her head. She should be coping with overdue fines or putting away books on their proper shelves. She was a librarian, for goodness sake. She liked order, and quiet, and calm. She was a reserved, quiet kind of person. This was all too…chaotic. Her life had turned inside out-alien planets, mind merging, incredible sex.
She let out a little breath. “Alright. I’ll try not to broadcast. You try to stay out as much as possible, okay? I don’t like the idea of you snooping around in my mind, knowing every little thing…”
As she thought of the possibilities, she suddenly felt very vulnerable. He would be able to know everything. Not that she had a lot of dark secrets, but she was human, after all. She had things she would never tell another person. Things she wasn’t particularly proud to share with someone else. Fantasies in the dark of the night she wouldn’t even share with a sexual partner. The whole idea filled her with intense discomfort.
He looked apologetic, but there was heat in his eyes as well. “I am trying to respect your wishes, Sharon, but you are becoming even more upset. There should be no shame or embarrassment between us. I know your inner self. It is incredible to me that you can be so blind to your own beauty, both physical and inner.”
Reaching across the table to take her hand, his voice became husky. “I would not use our bond against you,sherree. I do not wish to hurt you. Anything I have learned from our sharing will be used only for your pleasure and mine.” His thumb was gently stroking her hand.
Her eyes slid from his and she tried to pull her hand from his grasp. She still felt incredibly exposed. He knew too much. She needed some space to come to terms with what he’d told her. With obvious reluctance, he let her pull away completely.
She promptly scooted as far back as her chair would allow. She tried to turn the subject to safer channels. She decided to go on the offensive. “I know you’ve been with other women before. You’ve had sex without merging. Why last night?”And why meshe wanted to add, but didn’t quite have the nerve.
“You are my pactmate, my future pledgemate,” at her instinctive movement to disagree he flashed her a fierce look. “I could have had sex without merging with you, it is true. I tried to wait. The initial merge is somewhat painful and frightening to the female. Some choose to merge right after the Oath. I tried to be patient. I thought it might be easier when you knew me better. I also waited as long as I could out of prudence. You were not happy with the Oath. I thought you might have even greater problems with the consequences of merging.” His tone said he had been right.
“But you could have held off, right? I mean, this merging business is permanent. Even after we go our separate ways, you’ll still be lurking in the back of my mind!” The more she thought about it, the angrier she felt. Once again, he had taken a choice out of her hands. After knowing her for only two days, he had simply decided that the time was right and linked them together permanently.
His frustration pushed back at her. His face grew harsh. For a minute he stared at her in silence. Then, as if coming to some decision, he spoke. His voice was too controlled, almost cold. “I see I have been taking the wrong approach with you all this time. I thought easing you into our new life would be best. Now I think it is time for you to confront reality and accept that your life has changed permanently. There are things you do not know yet.”
Angrily, she pushed her chair back and stood. “Oh, now is the time for me to face reality, huh?” Her voice was sarcastic. “In what other ways are you planning to disrupt my life? Let’s see… you could take me from my home and my friends and my job? Oh yeah,” Her resentment was making her chest tight. “You’ve already done that. How about you invade my privacy by reading my innermost thoughts? Oh, that’s right. You’ve done that, too.” Her voice broke and she had to swallow.
Her tone softened. “I think I’ve faced plenty of your reality, thanks very much. I don’t care what other surprises are around the corner. I’ve had enough of your reality.”
Still seated, he looked up at her. Very softly he said, “Sit down.” His tone demanded complete obedience.
When she didn’t immediately respond, but continued to stare at him, he said, “You claim I have been making your choices for you. You do not wish to be treated as a child with no say in its future. Sit d
own and I will explain what choices you have at this time.”
She could tell that he was out of patience. She could feel his anger like a living thing in the room. Holding his gaze, carefully she sat back down in her chair. “Fine. Explain.”
“How many pactmates do you think file incompatible?” he asked in a conversational tone completely at odds with his expression.
She was caught off guard by the question and tone. “I don’t know. I’ve heard that there aren’t many, but I really don’t know.”She couldn’t remember any statistics if she had ever even learned them.
“Not many.” He nodded his head. His hard gaze still on her face, he continued. “One could say not many. More accurately, one should say none. There has never been an incompatible filing.”
In total shock, she wondered whether he was telling the truth. “That doesn’t make sense. Somewhere along the way, there had to have been some.”She couldn’t keep the disbelief out of her voice.
“No, Sharon, there have not been any. When a Shimerian male connects with his mate, it is not some kind of accident. He has been searching for a particular female, one that matches him mind and body. Why he is able to find her at a certain time and not before, that is a mystery. By the number of unattached males still seeking mates, you can understand that many spend years waiting and searching.”
His whole body leaned forward as he said sincerely, “No one understands why it happens when it happens. But the truth is, once he connects with her, he recognizes his mate. There can be no other. Because his mind has touched hers, she unconsciously knows he is out there. She does not know his name or who he is, but the idea of that mate is there. She knows there is someone just for her. She cannot settle for less.”
He watched as the anger drained from her face. “You understand what I am saying because you have felt it yourself.”