Reckless Mind

by Wiginton, Heather

  “Cole?” I asked, my cheeks turning slightly pink. He looked at me with a smirk wondering what I could possibly be blushing about. “Can we, um, can we do that again?” His laugh rang through the room and he kissed the tip of my nose as he started moving a little inside me again, telling me we could do whatever I wanted. Feeling him inside me moving again was amazing, it felt so good I could barely ask, “Can I,” but I stopped feeling stupid and turned my head to the side not looking at him anymore.

  His hand cupped the side of my face, bringing it back to look at him, and his rock hard length was moving in and out of me still, deeper now and around a long moan I asked, “Can I be on top?” The smile on his face made my heart race and as he moved harder and faster inside me he told me he couldn't wait.

  Rolling over onto his back, but making sure he never slipped out of me, Cole positioned us so I was on top. Looking at him I really felt stupid. “I don't know what to do, Cole.” He didn't look at me like he thought I was stupid, he looked at me like he was going to help me, he would build my confidence in myself.

  “Just move, Kahlen. Do whatever feels good to you, up and down, circle your hips, push me deeper into you and just rock, slam down on my cock...it's all up to you baby.” And so I tried a little bit of everything, but when I really seated myself on top of him pushing my weight down on his hips, that was the best.

  “Cole, oh my god, you feel so good.” I said at the same time he was saying, “I'm so deep inside you, baby, just being this deep and feeling how tight you are you're going to make me come.” And I knew exactly what he meant because I barely had to rock my hips at all and the orgasm was already almost there. Cole's fingers grabbed my hips and he helped me grind into him, eyes locked on each other, our breathing and heart rates raced. We both called out the other's name as we fell over the edge together.

  Cole rolled us over to our sides slowly, and then gradually pulled out of me. I missed the feeling of him being so close immediately, and I threw my arms around his neck, being careful for the wound and bandage. “I love you, Cole Westwood. In so many ways you saved me because you accepted me, believed in me, and you helped me save myself. I can't do life without you, okay?”

  His brilliant smile with the one dimple played on his face. “I love you, too, Kahlen.” He kissed me long and soft. “Come on, let's get cleaned up.” I knew he wanted to pick me up and carry me to the bathroom, but he just couldn't right now, and the disappointment clear on his face hurt my heart. He was contemplating doing it anyway, but I knew he was already going to be in pain later from what we'd just done. So instead I took off, running naked toward the bathroom, telling him to come catch me.

  Cole ran water in the huge tub that sat alone in the middle of the bathroom, the shower and toilet were over against the wall farthest from the door. As we sat he rubbed my shoulders, asking how I was feeling. “I'm better than okay,” I said as I turned my head to place a kiss on his lips. “I'll probably be feeling it tomorrow, but that's fine by me. Plus, the more we do it, the more my body will be,” I couldn't think of the right word.

  “Mine, Kahlen. Your body will be mine.” I knew what he was saying, he had claimed me as his tonight. He didn't want to use a condom, and since I was on birth control all ready we agreed not to, and so every part of him was inside me. No barrier, I was a part of him now, and he'd successfully claimed me and made me his tonight. I would forever be Cole's.

  Chapter 29

  The next couple of months went by so fast, too fast. I got back in a rhythm with my classes, and started working in the library on campus Mondays and Wednesdays after class. Travis also asked if I could help with paperwork at the shop on one of my days off, which I was excited about and loved doing, so I was there Tuesdays. Having to make up for all the work I missed the two separate times I was in the hospital so far this semester had been challenging in itself, but mostly because it took even more time away from me being with Cole. Between all of that I felt like my free time was nonexistent.

  Even though we lived together, woke up with each other every morning, had lunch and dinner together, and were able to go to bed at the same time, it was still just time also spent doing something else. Cole would visit me while I worked or I would study while he worked on his car in the garage out back. But every night he'd strip me down and ravish my body with love and attention, and usually wake me up in the morning by pushing his hard arousal inside me, or running his tongue over my body. Some of my favorite times with Cole have been the spur of the moment, run up to our place in the middle of the day, throw me on the island or kitchen table and make love to me, times. I'm one seriously lucky girl.

  Celebrating Thanksgiving, almost a month ago, with Cole and his dad was surreal. I had a family, one that loved and appreciated me, they respected me and cared about me. It was a nice short break from school and work, Cole and I soaked up our time together.

  Thanksgiving morning I woke up to him slowly brushing my hair back off my face, smiling down at me, the look in his eyes telling me I was his whole world. As I moved to roll on top of him I felt something dangling off my neck. It hung down between my breasts, and when I picked it up I saw it was a beautiful silver heart necklace with diamonds in the middle in the shape of a smaller heart. On the reverse side, 'you are my forever', was engraved.

  I played with the necklace now as I thought about that perfect moment in time. I'd whispered Cole's name, and he made love to me for hours telling me over and over again how much I meant to him, and how his love for me was forever. It still made me smile.

  My flashbacks were nearly nonexistant now. I had grown in my confidence of myself during these months, knowing full well I was never what they made me think I was. Giving my heart and soul to Cole changed me in a way I never imagined it could, but knowing someone loved me the way I deserved, loved me for every single thing that made me who I was, it was unconditional. I truly believed our love could move mountains, and would stay strong in the path of anything or anyone that tried to tear it down.

  As I waited in my car after class for Emma now, I thought back on the girl I was when I left Vegas. I was broken, my mind reckless as it shattered me and my life into a million different pieces. But while I had been in Columbia I was able to, slowly but surely, pick each piece up one by one and put myself back together.

  Yes, Cole played a huge part in my new found confidence in myself, and figuring out I was worthy of someone loving me. Emma taught me how to take more control of my thoughts, of what I wanted, and to never be ashamed of those things. I had made it through the most difficult time in my life thinking I would always be a shell of who I knew I could be, but I was stronger than I'd given myself credit for. I knew that now, and I wouldn't ever forget it.

  Pulling me from my thoughts, the car door opened. “Hey, you all ready to head to Vegas?” Emma was coming with me to my place to help me finish getting packed. “How long did they say they thought you'd have to be out there again?”

  “No, I'm not ready,” I frowned. “I know Officer Ryan did his best to not have me testify, but I really wish I didn't have to do this. Not because it's going to set me back ten steps, but I just don't want to see them, and on Christmas break nonetheless.” Anger bit my tone, and I clenched the steering wheel as I pulled into the shop's parking lot.

  “At least that fine piece of ass is going with you,” Emma pointed out the window and my gaze landed on Cole. He stood outside the shop, huge smile on his face, waiting for me. He did this often, just stood waiting when he knew I should be coming, like he needed to be sure the second I got there I was okay, and I didn't blame him for it. Often I would place my hand over his heart when he was sleeping just to feel the strength of it under my palm. Maybe that's what happens when you almost lose someone you love.

  I parked the car quickly not shutting it off, hopped out leaving my door open, and ran and jumped into Cole's waiting arms. My hands tangled in his long hair sitting on top of his head and I kissed him hard, moving my tongue in hi
s mouth, tasting what I had missed all day. A sigh escaped my lips as I rested my forehead against his, his hands still under my butt holding my legs up that were wrapped around him.

  “Sure you lucky bitch, I'll just shut your fucking car off while you basically get naked with your sex god of a boyfriend out in public. No big deal, what are best friends for.” Emma yelled from the car, and Cole and I laughed.

  “So you ready?” He asked, just like Emma had, and I answered him the same. Nodding he knew I was thankful he would be there with me and I wouldn't have to go through it myself. Leaving me wrapped around him, he told Emma to come on up, and he carried me around the side of the building and up the stairs to our place. Cole seriously was my everything.

  Cole said he'd order some pizza and call Jax, Brandon, and Becca over so we could all hang out a little before he and I had to leave for the few days so I could testify at my last foster monster's trial. I had gone over this with Dr. Hyland every session since I'd found out I'd have to do it. She questioned me with no emotion like she said the prosecutor would, but then she also tried to twist and turn my words around and against me like she said the defense attorney would try to do. Yesterday’s session went great, and we both felt confident I would get through it. Not emotionless, but I would get through it nonetheless.

  While Emma and I finished getting mine and Cole's stuff packed, he jumped in the shower. My eyes kept moving to the bathroom door, all I wanted to do was go in there with him. Emma must have noticed because the next thing out of her mouth was, “Go on, Kay. Far be it from me to keep a girl from her man when he's as fine as Cole is, and can clearly put it down in the bedroom. I know you don't give up the details, but damn if everyone can't tell anyway that he must be really good.” She winked at me as I laughed.

  As Emma went out into the living room to wait for the pizza, and everyone else to show up, I slipped into the bathroom, took my clothes off, and silently opened the shower door. When my naked body pressed up against his back, he relaxed knowing the feel of my body against his so well. My arms wrapped around him from the back, my hand closing over his hardness, moving slowly.

  Cole turned around and picked me up, wrapping my legs around him and pushing my back against the wall. “The whole time I carried you up the stairs this was all I could think about.” He whispered against my neck as his lips and tongue sucked slowly when he buried his cock deep inside me. This wasn't slow, this wasn't gentle, this was pure need on both our parts for one another, and it felt so good.

  My orgasm came in minutes, as did his, and as much as I tried to be quiet I still yelled out his name over and over again like a prayer as he drove into me hard and fast getting his release moments later. Letting my body slide down his, he held me close kissing me deeply, telling me how much he loved me.

  He washed my body as I washed my hair, he had already been done showering and about to get out when I'd come in. We dried off and dressed quickly, but it was no use. When we got out of the shower Becca and the pizza sat at the table with Emma. Becca's face was red from embarrassment, Emma smirking and giving Cole a thumbs up, all because I obviously wasn't even near as quiet as I thought I had been.

  Soon after, Jax and Brandon showed up. Brandon and Cole had apparently had a heart to heart a couple weeks after Cole was released from the hospital, so they were cool again. But as far as Brandon and I, that was taking a much longer time. I ran into Brandon a couple weeks ago, and even though I had forgiven him already, and told him as much, it just wasn't easy between us.

  He had taken my hand in his, “Kahlen, please talk this out with me. I know you don't trust me, but how can I earn your trust if you don't speak to me and won't ever be around me?” His eyes pleaded with me that day, begging me to give him answers I didn't have.

  Brandon said he was completely aware of how crazy Cole had always been about me, and he knew how mutual the feeling was between Cole and I. But over the weeks after the kidnapping I would catch him looking at me, but could never place where his mind was at, what he was thinking. I always assumed he wondered why it worked with Cole and I.

  Sometimes I thought he was in the mind frame where he might finally want more with a girl than just a meaningless hookup, but then he'd be a douche again and mess around with a bunch of girls at the same time. Brandon still had some room to grow, but we all did.

  Brandon and I would get there one day, to a place where we could be friends, I was sure of it, we just needed the time to let it happen on its own. Cole thought if we all spent more time together as a group it might help. And here we were tonight, group pizza party.

  As we sat talking about Christmas coming up, all of us were heading over to Dan and Jules house for lunch before heading to our own families, my eyes focused on Becca but I tried not to be too obvious. She kept glancing at Brandon, but would drop her eyes quickly, turning a little pink, whenever he almost caught her looking at him. I felt bad for her, I really hoped she wasn't falling for him, but she would have to figure it out for herself how he was.

  She was so sweet and patient, but I wasn't sure even someone like her, who seemingly had no fucked up issues, would be enough to pull Brandon back if he didn't already want to on his own. Hearing Emma talk about the girls at a party Brandon had last night, I'd say he definitely was not ready to come away from that life yet.

  Jax bent down and picked up Emma's feet placing them on his lap. He didn't look at her, and somehow I think that helped both of them. They were so right for each other, but fought against it so hard, I had to laugh under my breath though. Emma was stubborn, but she knew what she wanted in a relationship, and from a man, and she wouldn't take any less. So either Jax needed to get his shit together, or some other guy would come in and sweep her off her feet. When she thought no one was looking she smiled sweetly at him, he saw it though and tipped half his mouth into a smile and winked at her.

  I sat on Cole's lap, his arms wrapped around me. “You go out there and give them hell, Kahlen,” Jax said as he smiled warmly at me. Everyone in our group now knew about my horrible few years before I came to South Carolina on my own. When Becca was finally filled in she cried for hours, and every time she saw me for about a week after she cried, hugging me tightly.

  “I will, I'll try anyway,” I said, but Cole spoke up. “No, you will, pretty girl, and then it'll all be behind you. I'll be by your side the whole way, you'll be just fine.” He kissed me on the lips, biting and tugging lightly, before he told me to hop up so he could get another beer for the guys.

  The doorbell rang, so I jogged over to answer it, and in walked Dan and Jules, and Travis. Travis pulled me in for a big hug and started walking toward the kitchen, arms still wrapped around me, so I had no choice but to walk with him. “Hey there, sweet girl, my son treating you right?” I nodded and told him Cole always treated me right, and he gave me a big smile. Jules passed what looked like a small cake box to someone behind me, and I saw a brilliant smile shine on her face.

  Wondering what I was missing, and why everything seemed to have gotten really quiet all of a sudden, I turned around and my jaw dropped open. Happy tears immediately filled my eyes as I saw Cole down on one knee in front of me.

  “Hey, pretty girl.” Cole had that killer smile with that dimple on his face, his hand found my hip and pulled me to him. He was so relaxed, like he knew this was exactly what he was supposed to be doing. “That first night I met you I knew you were it for me, and I told you I would be. You are one in a lifetime, Kahlen, the only one for me. No matter who enters your life, I will forever love you more than any of them, I promise. If I didn't have you yesterdays wouldn't be worth remembering, and tomorrows wouldn't be worth waiting for. You make everything in my life more alive, more worthwhile, just because you are by my side. I want you by my side forever. Will you marry me?”

  He barely got the last words out before I crushed my lips to his, when I pulled away I said yes a million times between kissing him all over his face. Cole picked me up, and I wrapped my l
egs around him, holding his face in mine. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too. Best first, and only, proposal ever.” He kissed me then like no one else was in the room, like I was his air. My tongue moved over his and he pulled me even closer to him. God, I loved this man.

  Everyone stayed around for another hour or so congratulating us, but then they all trickled out sensing we needed some alone time, which we did. I wanted him desperately. Cole could tell I needed him more than normal too...all three times he claimed me that night. It was heaven.

  Tomorrow I would fly to Vegas with Cole, I would put the past in the past and leave it there. Cole was my future. As long as we were together we would both be perfect.

  Chapter 30

  As we sat on the plane waiting to take off, I couldn't tear my eyes off my ring. I leaned into Cole, his arm around me, completely enraptured at the way it sparkled. It fit me perfectly which meant I was able to wear it right away. The platinum band, with round diamonds set in it, complimented the princess cut diamond unbelievably well. It was beautiful.

  “You like it then?” Cole looked down at me as I stared at the ring. I leaned up and kissed his lips nodding my head. “Good.” He kissed me again, then tightened his arm around me. “We don't have to rush. I know you're not even done with your freshman year, you're only eighteen. If you want to wait until you are done with your degree I understand.”

  “But you'll be done with school in the spring and we'll still be at our place for a while, right?” He agreed, and sat patiently waiting for me to think my thought through. “So what if we got married at the end of May?”

  “Really?” He said it as a question but there was so much excitement, and a little surprise behind it. “You don't want to wait, or,” he trailed off.