A few more passed before I remembered that he’d left at all.
At my thought, he raised his head, glancing at the part of the bed he’d covered in kitchenware.
We have to eat, he sent. We have to, Allie.
I was kissing his chest as he eased my leg from around him. Rolling to his back, he grabbed the bowl and the glass, setting the former between us. He scooped up the utensils that had spilled out on the bed and put one in my hand, then jerked the wooden cover off the bowl, handing the bowl to me.
The room was still dark, but I could see white, curling things inside the container that looked like noodles. I wondered why I could see so well in the dark.
“Practice,” he said. Combat, Allie.
He motioned between us, a half-finished thought, but I got the idea.
I could see better in the dark because he could see better in the dark. I didn’t think on that for very long though, distracted by the smell coming from the bowl.
My stomach gurgled.
“Where did you get this?” I said.
I tried to imagine him in the kitchen with a candle, cooking, but even with my confused sequencing, I didn’t think he could have been gone that long. Leaning towards me, he stabbed a spear-like fork into whatever filled the bowl, withdrawing the utensil impaled on something soft and white. Wanting in part to encourage me to eat, he put it in his mouth and started chewing, motioning for me to do the same.
“Tradition,” he said, as I stabbed my own spear into the bowl more cautiously. “Seers get sick… forget to eat. A lot of food, Allie.”
His words were accented, half-jumbled.
He kissed me between them, but again, my mind filled in the gaps. Other seers had stocked the house with food, knowing we’d be too weird to be able to feed ourselves.
Somehow that struck me as funny and I laughed.
He smiled, raising an eyebrow.
I pushed at his chest. “No wonder they made you a spy! Here I was intimidated, thinking you could cook, too.”
He smiled again, kissing my fingers. Can you cook?
“No.” Laughing a little, I shook my head. “Not well, anyway. We’ll have to send our kids to culinary school.”
Pain darted through my light––so quickly and intensely, it startled me.
Realizing it was his, I studied his face in some curiosity, but he slid his fingers into mine, kissing my palm.
Children? I sent tentatively.
His pain worsened. He met my gaze and we kissed again, longer. That distracted us both for awhile. When I started touching him again, he pushed my hand away gently.
Eat. Please, Allie. Please.
Taking a breath, I put the whatever-it-was in my mouth and chewed, preparing myself for the worst. Seer food still had a tendency to taste like dirt wrapped in moss to me, but after a few chews, I relaxed.
Then my hunger kicked in for real.
I started filling my next forkful before I’d finished swallowing the first.
Revik leaned over me, pouring a glass of water from the pitcher. He took a long drink while I ate, then handed it to me. He watched me drink it, and I felt another sliver of pain from him before he took back the glass, filling it again.
That one he motioned for me to drink on my own.
When I finished off the second glass, he pointed my attention back towards the bowl.
I took another mouthful of food, and for an instant, it almost distracted me from watching him eat without any clothes on. Even cold, the noodle-things tasted mind-blowingly good. Better than anything I’d eaten in a long time, like really good macaroni and cheese, only with some kind of meat, and a few spices I didn’t know. As I took another mouthful with barely a pause between bites, I realized I was ravenous.
“Better?” he said, after he’d swallowed again.
“This tastes like human food,” I said.
“It’s seer food.” He kissed me lingeringly. “You’re going to take on my palate some, too. Maybe you’ll like it more.” He kissed me again. “I’ve craved that disgusting human coffee since Seattle…”
“Seattle’s a coffee town,” I said, smiling. “Can’t blame me.”
“No, it’s your fault,” he assured me. He watched me eat, and I felt his pain sharpen. “Gods, you’re turning me on again. I think it’s getting worse, Allie.”
“It’s getting worse,” I agreed, swallowing my mouthful.
“We have to remember to eat,” he said. “We have to, Allie.”
But I couldn’t get my mind off the noodles. “I can’t believe how hungry I am. I could eat this whole thing.”
He grunted in a flat kind of humor, leaning over me to stab another forkful of noodles.
“Allie, it’s been at least three days. We were both getting weak.”
I halted my own fork halfway to my mouth. “Three days? But last night––”
He shook his head, his eyes shining faintly in the dark. “At least two nights ago. Maybe more.” He glanced towards the covered window. “It’s dark again. I think we got up right after sunset this time.”
“This time,” I said, only now it wasn’t a question.
I fought to piece together the last few however-long-it-had-beens, and realized I did remember waking up. The first time we’d been by the fireplace. Another time I remembered us on a tile floor somewhere, covered in a quilt.
The same or a similar quilt half-covered me now.
He was still eating, his free hand caressing my fingers that lay between us. He offered me his fork and I ate the noodles off the end. Feeling another whisper of pain from him, I leaned closer, kissing his mouth. He pushed me back gently with his hand, jabbing his finger towards the bowl.
“Eat,” he said. “I’m not starving my wife to death.”
I laughed, taking the glass from his hand after he refilled it again.
We each drank about half, then I had a few more forkfuls of the noodles before I realized I was full… like, really full, probably because he was right, and we hadn’t eaten in a few days. He handed me another full glass of water, indicating with a gesture for me to drink it.
“We need to keep the windows open,” he said, worried.
He didn’t finish the thought, but again, I followed where he was going.
He meant the drapes. He wanted to see the sun come up and go down, so we’d have a reminder to eat. I felt the worry on him intensify as he looked at me, and forced myself to take a few more bites of food. Finishing my water, I left the empty glass on the bed and climbed over where he lay, massaging his back while he ate more. He was still a lot thinner than when I’d met him.
I remembered the thing about drapes then and craned my neck, looking for a cord, when it occurred to me that we might freeze if––
“No.” He swallowed what was in his mouth. “…There’s glass, Allie.”
Getting up, I studied the heavy cloth.
I yanked on one end.
I pulled down the curtain rod by mistake and leapt back as it crashed to the floor. I burst out in a laugh, but Revik had already reacted to my startle. I couldn’t help but marvel at how fast he got up.
Then I noticed the bluish light flooding the room.
“The moon,” I said, pointing. “Hey. Look at that.”
A moon over three-fourths full stood in a sky deeply blanketed with stars. Stars that shone like hard diamonds, despite the moon’s brightness, receded so far into the distance they could have belonged to the Barrier instead of the physical sky. I stood there, mesmerized, when Revik joined me at the window, curling his arms around me from behind.
“No,” I said, looking up at him. “Eat more.”
He shook his head. He was full, too.
Caressing my bare belly with his fingers, he started kissing me again. His mouth tasted like noodles when I leaned into his chest to kiss him back.
A few seconds later, I was pushing him towards the bed. He let me, laying down on his back, wincing and knocking utensils to the floor.
<
br /> I watched his eyes start to glow.
That time, he didn’t push me away.
29
LOST
WITH A JOLT, I looked up. I heard voices again.
They sounded far away.
The sun was rising, filling the room with gold and pink light, deeper than what colored the fields outside.
I didn’t remember it setting.
I remembered eating, though. I remembered eating more than once… was it time again? I couldn’t remember whose turn it was to remember. We’d worked out some kind of system, but forgot it not long after. I remembered laughing in front of the fridge, him holding a hand over my eyes as he had me point at containers.
I sat in his lap, my arms wrapped around his shoulders.
He held me even tighter than I held him, his fingers clutching my back as he braced himself with his other arm. He was reading me, slowing as I got close, going deeper, breathing harder as he used his light to keep me on the edge.
Eyes half-closed, he clutched my skin and bones as my light wound into his, until his teeth sank into my shoulder. He let out another heavy groan. I felt him losing control.
I understood. I was doing it again. I could feel it.
Asking him for… something.
Truthfully, I couldn’t help myself, not anymore.
I could feel it in him, just past the edges of my sight. As sure as he was that he couldn’t give it to me, I was equally sure that he could.
Frustration rose in my light. It triggered another wave of aggression in him. I tried to calm him down, but his hands only gripped me harder, his eyes glowing as he looked at my face. He was asking me, first in German, then in some language I didn’t recognize, caressing my neck and jaw. He switched to English.
“…Wife.” He kissed me, his voice low, threaded with pain. “Tell me what to do… please. D’ gaos. Allie. Please. Please, I want to do this for you.”
But I didn’t know how to tell him. I tried to show him.
I’d been trying, for as long as he had.
I arched against him, pulling on him harder with my light, until he groaned again.
It didn’t help. I could feel him reading me for it, and his pain worsened as I opened. He held me on the edge for what felt like an endless stretch of time… focused on that pull in my light, stopping me as he tried to find it, first in me, then in himself.
He did it again, stopping me again, until I was fighting him.
Somewhere in that, I heard them again.
Alarm didn’t reach me, not yet.
Changing the angle, he went deeper and that felt even better. He was losing control. Pleasure rippled off him as my nails dug into his back. Relief suffused me when I saw his face go soft, when I realized what his expression meant. Our thrusts grew harder and deeper and less precise. I read him again and he opened, clutching at me.
That time, when the folding thing returned, I was so far in him, he couldn’t stop it when…
Everything went away. All but blood rushing in my ears, feeling I couldn’t hold.
I cried out. I think he made some kind of sound.
It felt so utterly, unbelievably good. For a moment, at least, I felt that intensity in both of us unclench, turn into something so heart-achingly soft…
He was there when I came back, holding me still through the last tremors. He kissed my throat, murmuring against my skin.
“I love you,” I heard him say. “I love you, Allie.”
I wanted to keep going. He’d been waiting for me…
But I felt it again, some presence I knew. Even more I didn’t know.
I raised my head from his shoulder, still fighting to slow my breathing as I tried to level my light enough to scan the room. Still cradling me in his arms, he copied me, helping me look. I got lost there, briefly, looking at him.
The angles of his jaw and cheekbones stood out, highlighted by sun. His eyes glowed faintly, reflecting that same light. Forgetting whatever had distracted me, I kissed his face, tugging on his hair as I dug my fingers into his back…
Then something cold touched the skin of my neck.
I turned around, but couldn’t see past the light in my eyes. My eyes grew brighter, blinding me. Revik’s fingers tightened on my skin…
Arms came out of nowhere.
I cried out, terrified when we were separated. Strong hands dragged me off him, pulling me across the floor. I twisted around…
…and punched someone who yelped.
My scream echoed in the hollow space, sounding like an animal.
Someone else hit me then––in the face.
It hurt. I blinked back tears and found myself looking up, trying to focus on a man’s face. I didn’t know the features that stared back at me, couldn’t focus on them enough to make sense of them.
Yet, something there was familiar. Whatever it was, it was almost enough to snap me out. I groped for him, trying to push him away, but he only tightened his hold. I saw him looking at my body. I saw a faint smile…
Then small arms slid around my neck, tightening before I could focus on their owner.
“Allie!”
He nearly strangled me. His eyes glowed, sharp in the dark, blinding me. I wanted so badly for it to be Revik, but I already knew it wasn’t.
“It’s all right,” he said. “You’re all right, Allie!”
I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming.
The boy looked back at me, eyes wide in a round face. His lip bled.
I’d punched him in the mouth.
“Nenzi,” I managed.
The man next to him visibly jumped, staring at me.
I barely noticed. Fighting to breathe, I grabbed the front of the boy’s shirt with both hands, to assure myself he was real. “Nenzi, where’s Revik?”
The round face grew suddenly hard. Shadows flitted around me, nearly physical. They slithered between us. Above that, I saw deep clouds, a golden valley I recognized.
I heard sounds. A thud of flesh on flesh.
I screamed…
I tried to move, to crawl in the direction I could feel him, but pain crippled me, and the blond man held me by the throat. I’d never been claustrophobic before, but it felt as if the building walls were closing in on me.
I felt as if they might bury me, leave me alone in the dark forever.
Hunched by the wall near the bathroom, I fought for air, ignoring the fingers holding my wrists, the airplanes flashing across the sky behind my lids. Bombs fell in the darkness. Buildings burned. I saw monks screaming, their robes on fire.
The boy spoke. His voice was barely a whisper, but I heard it above the sounds of helicopter blades, shouts, fire… the scream of airplanes overhead.
“Allie?”
I stared at that rounded face, fighting tears.
“Allie?” His fingers grasped at mine. Allie, are you hurt?
I watched his eyes brighten. I knew who this was, but he couldn’t be here. He’d been dead for nearly a hundred years.
Somehow, though, I wasn’t afraid. The feeling that rose in me was closer to relief.
“Nenzi?” I said. “Is it really you?”
His light flared, blinding me in the Barrier.
I felt my recognition touch him, nearly incapacitate him with feeling, even as his relief expanded over me. Tears rolled down his face. His mouth contorted as he looked at me from my face down to my feet, slowly, as if memorizing every part of me. He looked at me with something like reverence. No, that wasn’t it.
He looked at me with love. A love so intense it hurt.
It filled my eyes with tears.
This had to be a dream. I was back in Tarsi’s cave. Everything that had come after––swimming in the river, the horse with the red face, Revik’s eyes glowing with their own light, making love in front of the fireplace, our soft confessions in the dark, everything I’d felt and seen and been––it couldn’t be real.
“Nenzi?” I said again. “Where’s Revik?”
The small seer’s light touched mine, expanding over me until I couldn’t breathe. Feeling a sudden burst of protectiveness, I motioned him towards me.
“Nenzi! Come here!”
…when something hit me in the thigh.
It felt like a sledgehammer. My leg seemed to smash apart, even as force threw me to my back. I cried out in shock.
He couldn’t move.
It was more than pain.
Beyond the pain was the other. The knowledge that he was down, that he wouldn’t get back up. He called my name, and I heard him, clearly, in my head.
GET OUT ALLIE! GET OUT NOW PLEASE! USE THE TELEKINESIS AND GO! PLEASE BABY! PLEASE!
I groaned, my back pressed to the wall.
I hadn’t moved. Clutching my leg, I tried to understand what had happened. My leg physically felt the same. I couldn’t see anything wrong with it. My light scattered like errant flame, useless.
Then the pain hit for real. I fought to move, to stand up, and agony ripped up my back. I writhed, gasping, trying to use the wall for leverage.
“Revik!” Tears came to my eyes. “Gods. What did you do to him?”
Nenzi was with me, clutching me with small hands.
His pale, sunless face glowed. It looked anguished. His eyes continued to shimmer at me like iridescent fish, but widened to searchlights in his head. He clutched my hair, kneading it in his fingers. The fingers of his other hand caressed my face, my shoulder, touching my cheeks.
“Allie!” He gripped me tighter. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Allie!
I touched the boy’s hands. He was real. He was really there.
Tears filled my eyes. “What did you do?”
Allie, it’s all right. He won’t hurt you. He promised!
I followed his gaze to the larger shape squatting beside him.
My mind felt suddenly much, much clearer. This was real. I wasn’t just lost in some nightmare.
They’d taken Revik.
A sparking sound rose. I recognized it as an organic yisso torch.
Staring up, I focused on his face. The man with the white-blond hair glided smoothly to his feet, standing over us. Tall––nearly seven feet––and Scandinavian-looking, he could have been human but for his height. Focusing on his amber-colored eyes, I understood suddenly why he’d felt so familiar.
Shield (Bridge & Sword: Awakenings #2): Bridge & Sword World Page 30