“There’s another reason?”
“Yes.”
“Are you gonna tell me?”
She inhaled and hesitated. Then softly: “I wanted to see you again, Colby.”
Cole nearly jerked, but managed to keep his body under control. He knew where this was headed, and he’d dreamt of this countless times. But now that it was reality, he didn’t know what to do, what to think. “Why?”
“You never remarried, right?”
“Right.” He’d never come close to getting seriously involved with another woman. An image of Day popped into his mind, surprising him. Day was an important person in his life now, but he hadn’t committed to her. Not the way he’d committed to Sarah.
“Neither have I. And well, to be perfectly honest, I’ve never stopped thinking about you. I’m involved with a man and it’s serious. He wants to marry me. We’re steps away from getting engaged. But…I…couldn’t say yes. I needed to come here…and… see you.”
*
Dakota refused to cry anymore. She’d shed tears on the drive from the ranch this afternoon and that pain quickly turned into boiling hot anger. She was totally and fully pissed at Colby Ryan and she had the clean house to prove it. Whenever she got angry, her house received an overhaul. She’d washed counters, cleaned bathrooms, scoured the stove, vacuumed and dusted until her hands developed blisters.
But when the time came to go to her second and now favorite job, she’d showered and dressed and showed up at Barely There right on time. Parking her car in the back, she swallowed her pain and put on a happy face. She would have to greet customers as they entered the store. And her sour puss wasn’t gonna make too many sales.
The second she entered the shop, Jillian took one look at her and ushered her into the back room. “What’s wrong, Day? Are you feeling ill?”
Apparently her happy face hadn’t fooled her friend. “No, I’m…fine.” But tears threatened and Jillian’s concerned expression immediately softened.
“It’s something with Cole, right?”
She nodded. She was a terrible liar and trying to hide the truth wouldn’t work. She needed a friend right now. She needed to unload a little and see if she’d been overly hard on Cole. But to do that meant revealing her secret affair to the wife of Cole’s best friend.
Screw it. She was tired of worrying about who knew what and when. Cole had a secret wife that he’d never told her about and by all appearances it seemed he was head over heels in love with her still.
“It’s complicated,” she said to Jillian.
“It always is, honey. And I have the time. Marla is out there and it’s pretty slow right now. Have a seat,” she said, pulling out a chair.
She sat down and Jillian handed her a bottle of water. “Here, take a drink and tell me what’s bothering you.”
It took her a full fifteen minutes to explain her relationship with Cole. How he’d been protective of her all his life and how she’d fallen in love with him from an early age. She told Jillian about how they’d gotten closer this past year and how Cole had finally noticed her, had finally taken her seriously as a woman. He’d lightened up and wasn’t so distant, or aloof any longer, and then she explained how they’d gotten together physically. She didn’t go into detail, or reveal that he’d been her first lover and wanted him to be her last, but Jillian was perceptive and probably read between the lines, understanding that Cole had been overly cautious getting involved with her, for so many reasons.
“And then today, a woman comes driving up to the ranch in a hoity limousine claiming she’s Cole’s wife. But she quickly amended that, telling me she was his ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife?” Jillian’s voice rose. “Are you kidding me?”
Clearly, judging by Jillian’s reaction, it was a surprise to her too. “I wish I was.”
“So, you’re saying all this time Cole was hiding the fact he’d been married?”
“Yep, as far as I know. I’ve known him for years and just don’t get it. Granted, we didn’t do everything together, but we were like family and I thought I knew everything there was to know about the Ryans.”
“What’s her name?”
“Sarah. That’s all she told me. But I imagine it’s Sarah Ryan, unless she remarried. Although there was no ring on her left hand.”
“I’ve never heard him mention anyone by the name of Sarah.”
“Jillian, the look on his face when he spotted her sitting in his parlor… I’ve never seen him so enamored. I think he’s still in love with her.”
“But you don’t know any of the circumstances. You have no idea how he’s feeling about any of this.”
“No I don’t. I’m judging him. But we were involved and I thought we were moving forward. I thought he was developing real feelings for me. Am I wrong to feel betrayed?”
“What I think is you’re terribly hurt, but until you hear him out and give him a chance to explain why he kept something like that a secret, you should keep somewhat of an open mind. If he doesn’t open up to you to your satisfaction then you can tell him to put it where the sun don’t shine.”
Day giggled. She wouldn’t have believed it possible to find humor in this, but Jillian was no pushover. She told it like it was and Day was grateful for her honesty. “Thanks. That’s great advice.”
“I know you’ve gone round and round with Cole. And I have grown to love that man, but sometimes a guy needs a swift kick in the ass. Maybe that would clear his head. And I can’t think of anyone better to do it than my wrangler/foreman/saleswoman girlfriend, who could probably give him a hefty dose of reality.”
Already Day was feeling better. She was through feeling sorry for herself. Through playing the martyr for Cole. “Wow, Jillian. You’ve inspired me.”
Jillian smiled. “I’m glad, honey. And remember, just don’t beat Cole up too hard because then Jack will have to come over and arrest you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Day rose from her seat, ready for an evening of work. She could sell Red Hot Mama pajamas like the best of them.
Jillian wrapped her arms around Day and pulled her in tight. “You stand your ground, Day. And you’ll never regret it.”
“I’ll do just that.”
*
The second Day pulled up in front of her house that evening, she spotted Cole on her doorstep, the porch lamp illuminating his form like an overhead spotlight. He wore his hat, a chambray shirt and blue jeans—standard Cole attire—and the minute she got out of her car, he whipped his hat off his head.
Always a damn gentleman.
Holding her head high, she climbed out of her car and breezed past him to insert her key in the front door lock. “Day, I need to talk to you.”
“You think?” She pushed open her door and took two steps inside her house and turned. He’d followed her, but she blocked him from coming in any further. “You can talk to me from here,” she said.
“Really?” His mouth twisted. He was perturbed? Too bad.
“Yeah, really.” She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for his explanation.
“Listen, I’m sorry you had to find out about Sarah that way.”
“Sarah? Oh you mean the wife you failed to tell me about? That Sarah.”
He sighed. “You’re making this more difficult than it has to be, Day.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
Cole glared at her. It was late and fatigue lined his face. “So you’re angry.”
“Angry isn’t the right word. I’m spittin’ mad.”
“I was young, Day. We both were when Sarah came to town temporarily one summer. She was visiting her ill grandmother. We fell in love. And ran away to get married.”
Hearing him admit he’d loved another woman was a hammer to her heart.
“But everything went bad after that. She was an Olympic athlete and she took a fall from a horse and shattered her leg. For years I blamed myself. I’d talked her into the ride that caused her accident. I couldn’t f
orget her, Day. All the damage I’d done—and the worst part about it was her mother told me Sarah never wanted to see me again. She led me to believe Sarah hated me. And her family made us promise to never speak of this to anyone. For Sarah’s sake. Because she was torn up inside. I’ve lived with that tremendous guilt and closed myself off to any sort of relationships.”
Day pictured it all in her mind. More than a small part of her sympathized with what they’d gone through, but it wasn’t enough to quell the ache inside. She’d thought she’d known Cole, inside and out, and to find out this way that he’d been deeply in love and married to another woman, no matter how long ago, was hard to take. “What does she want now?”
Cole winced, his face scrunching up. A bad sign. He only did that when the news wasn’t good. “She came to repay a debt.”
“What kind of debt?”
“Something she thought she owed me.”
“Money?” she asked skeptically.
He frowned and nodded.
None of this made any sense. “She could’ve mailed you the money. There’s always PayPal. Is that all she wanted?”
He stared beyond her right shoulder to her kitchen, making no eye contact. “No, there’s more.”
“You gonna tell me or stare at my kitchen table all night?”
He ran his hand down his face. Another bad sign. He was two for two now. “Believe me, I never thought I’d ever see her again. This was completely unexpected. Can’t we talk about this rationally, on the couch?”
“No I don’t think so.” Day stood her ground.
“Fine. She came specifically to see me.”
“Yes, I got that part.”
“It’s been twelve years since we were together. And she wanted…I don’t know. Some closure.”
“About you?”
“Yeah, about me. She’s thinking about getting engaged…”
Day’s heartbeats thumped inside her chest. Her breath caught. She got the picture. The woman was still in love with Cole. Or maybe she came to find out if she was. But what about him? Was he still in love with her?
Day pursed her lips tight. He had no idea how hard this was for her to hear.
“Day.”
“I’m surprised you’re even here right now, trying to explain this to me.”
“Hey, we’re friends.”
Her head snapped up. He was such a jerk.
“I mean, we’re more than friends. We are, but I have to see this through, Day. I have to…”
“Where is she?”
“Back at the house.”
“Is she staying the night?”
Cole scratched the back of his head and made a ridiculous face. “Nothing’s gonna happen, Day. I promise. I couldn’t have her spend the night in a hotel. Not when she’d come from so far.”
“Did you tell her about us?”
He stared at her… and then gave her an almost imperceptible shake of the head.
Of course he hadn’t.
One… Two…Three. Her patience was at an end. She had to go sneaking around and love him behind closed doors, because God forbid someone would find out about the two of them, and then this woman strolls in today, Sarah from his past, and he’s suddenly all about opening his doors. The irony was killing her.
“Get out.”
“What? Day, listen to me. I’m in a tight spot right now.”
“Well, I’m loosening up that spot, Cole.” She gritted her teeth. “Get out, right now.”
“You’re being unreasonable.”
“No, I’m being smart. Now, unless you want me to slap your handsome face, just go. I’ve heard enough.”
Cole jerked back as if she had slapped his face. He stared at her for a second, his expression a mass of confusion and puzzlement. Day was through being his doormat. At some point in his life he was either going to have to crap or get off the pot. A crude way of thinking, but oh so true. He couldn’t hold on to his guilt forever. He had to get over himself. And get on with his life.
Day was through waiting.
She deserved more.
As soon as he pivoted and stepped out of her house, she shoved the door and it closed with a bang.
Then she wrapped her arms around her middle and sunk down onto the floor, tears streaming down her face.
*
Day woke up the next morning from a restless nightmare-ridden sleep and reality came crashing down upon her. She rehashed everything in her head and came up with the same conclusion. She wanted no part of Colby Ryan, unless she could have all of him.
If that wasn’t going to happen, then she would move on with her life. She had a game plan that didn’t include Cole. If need be, and as hard as that would be, she would pursue her dreams without him by her side.
She reached for her cell and called Jillian, hoping she wouldn’t be waking her. But she was the mom of a small boy, so she was pretty sure she’d be up and getting ready to take to Beau to school by now. She answered on the second ring. “Hi, Jillian. It’s me,” she said ultra quietly.
“Dakota? Hi, you sound like you’re in a tunnel.”
“Sorry, I’ll speak up. Is this better,” she said, clearing and projecting her voice.
“Yes, but are you okay?”
“Not really. I need to talk you. Do you have the time?”
“Of course. Jack’s taking Beau to school and I’m not due at the shop for an hour. So just unload, Day. I’m here for you.”
“Thanks,” she said, greatly relieved, and then she began, “Cole came to visit me last night…”
Jillian was a good listener and allowed Day to get everything out without asking questions. “So now, I don’t know what to do. Should I go to work? Should I give him notice?”
Jillian was quiet for a second. “Well, I think quitting your job before you’re ready is pretty drastic, Day. Why don’t you just go about your business at the ranch, show Cole you can live without him. Show him you’re professional.”
But could she? Was she that brave? “What if she’s still there? I don’t know if I can take seeing her with Cole.”
“I think you’re underestimating him a little bit, Day. He doesn’t want to hurt you. The fact that he showed up on your doorstep last night proves that. He’s probably mixed up. So I think you go to the ranch and show him what you’re made of.”
“Okay. I’ll do it. Jillian, what would I do without you? I mean, it’s not as if I can talk to my mom about this stuff. She’s pretty cool and all, but oh shoot…I just remembered. We’re supposed to go to Arizona for Thanksgiving this week. Damn…Cole and I promised our moms.”
“Just take it one day at a time, honey. You’ll work it out. And remember, you can always call if you need me.”
“I appreciate it, Jillian. Thanks so much.”
An hour later and spurred by Jillian’s pep talk, Day pulled up to a parking spot behind the barn. She was at home here at the ranch and loved every minute of her work, but sadness filled her heart as she thought about how much things had changed recently.
She got out of the car and headed to the newly constructed stables. The horses were her charges and she’d been remiss in checking on them yesterday when she’d skipped out. “I’m not going to neglect you again,” she said, nuzzling up to Lady’s neck. The new mama was doing well, happy to have her filly underfoot. Faith was thriving too and putting smiles on everyone’s faces.
“Hey, Day. How you feeling this morning?” Jerome asked, coming inside the stable. “I heard you went home sick yesterday.”
“I’m feeling much better today. Thanks,” she fibbed. “Just had a little bug.”
“Glad to hear it. Have you seen Cole anywhere this morning?”
“Nope. I just got here.”
“Okay, well, maybe he’s busy with the woman. I hear she spent the night at the house. Don’t know who she is, but she pulled up in a limousine yesterday.”
“She’s an old friend of Cole’s, I think,” Day managed. She wasn’t going to elaborat
e. That was for Cole to do, if he ever decided to come clean about his past. “I’ll let him know you’re looking for him, if I see him.”
She hoped not.
She hoped she could go about her business and not run into Cole and Sarah at any point today. Jerome walked out of the stable and she was left alone to fill buckets of alfalfa and grab a bag of apples for the horses. As soon as the animals saw her with the bucket, like clockwork they ambled to the front of the stable door to hang their heads in anticipation of their meal.
This was one of her favorite things to do. Giving the horses their food and treats was a bonding experience and today especially she took great care to give each horse some special time. “Love you, Lady,” she said, handing her an apple. The horse chomped on it with gusto and snorted her approval.
She moved over to Snowflake and did the same.
And once she was through feeding the rest of them, Day walked out of the barn and into the sunlight and immediately collided into a rock-hard chest. Cole reached out to steady her. “Whoops, sorry.”
She shoved at his arms, taking them off her body immediately. “I’m fine.”
He had murder in his eyes. As if he expected her to accept his help without question. Those days were over. “Damn it, Day.”
But Day was too busy watching Sarah stride up, her gait amazingly fast despite the slight limp. She looked like a zillion bucks, dressed in pretty street clothes, designer jeans and a pale indigo blouse that brought out the sky blue of her eyes.
“Good morning,” she said to Day.
“Mornin’.”
“Cole was just about to show me your horses. I’m trying to get over my fear.”
“They’re sweet creatures,” Day said in a soothing voice. “But they’re not my horses—they belong to Cole. Be sure to see Faith, his newest filly. She’s…well, she’s the best.”
“Okay, thank you.” Sarah smiled at Cole and grabbed his forearm. “Shall we?”
Day had trouble pretending not to notice. “I’ve got to get back to work.”
She made the mistake of glancing at Cole. He had apology written on his face, but that wasn’t cutting it. No. It wasn’t nearly enough. “You two have fun,” she said, keeping the snark out of her voice, but Cole’s brow lifted. Message received.
Redeeming the Texas Rancher Page 14