by Sophia Gray
“Thanks,” Sebastian said, going over to the cabinet and pulling out a bottle of wine. “You drink, right?”
“Sure,” Nyssa said, even though she usually didn’t get inebriated around clients, just for the sake of safety. I guess I can just file this away as another rule I’m breaking with Sebastian, Nyssa thought to herself as she rubbed her chilly shoulders. Just like the condom thing.
Sebastian poured out two dangerously full glasses of wine, pushing one over to Nyssa. “Sit,” he said, pointing at one of the stools near the island countertop in the middle of the kitchen. “Just relax. I’ll do the cooking.”
Nyssa did as she was told. She was getting used to that, following Sebastian’s instructions. It was strange. It wasn’t like she was afraid of him, necessarily, but he seemed to have so much power. Nyssa was a little too nervous to test the boundaries of their relationships and find where and when she could disobey him. For now, she said to herself silently, watching as Sebastian pulled out various ingredients from his cabinets and set to work, I’ll just do what he says. Eventually he’ll get bored of me and move on to somebody else. I can wait it out. I can be patient.
They sat in almost perfect silence over the next twenty-five minutes or so, although at one point Sebastian started humming under his breath as he fried up chicken and boiled water for pasta. Before Nyssa knew what she was doing, some more words spilled out of her mouth. “You have a nice voice,” she said, then took a sip of her wine. What the fuck? Nyssa thought to herself, fighting to keep her face still and unexpressive as Sebastian turned his head around to stare at her quizzically. Stop trying to butter him up, idiot. Just keep your mouth shut and everything will be fine.
“Thanks,” Sebastian said after hesitating for a brief moment, his brow furrowed up as he tried to read Nyssa’s facial expression. “You like music?”
“Of course,” Nyssa said reflexively. “Who doesn’t?”
Sebastian shrugged, and for a second Nyssa thought that was the end of it, but then he spoke up again a minute later. “Katrina doesn’t.”
“She doesn’t like music?” She felt a little surprised that anyone could dislike music, but after thinking about it for a second, she realized that it seemed to fit Katrina. There was probably nothing in Katrina’s life that she got pleasure from, except for her own power. Maybe Nyssa was being unfair to her boss, judging her without even really knowing anything about her, but that was what her instincts told her. Nyssa had had multiple pimps in her life, and she could tell who liked having authority and who desperately needed to have it to feel okay about themselves. Katrina was definitely the latter type of person.
“Katrina doesn’t like a lot of things,” Sebastian said as he dumped the uncooked pasta into the boiling water, checking his watch to measure the time before stepping back from the stove. “She doesn’t like you, for instance.”
Nyssa shifted uncomfortably on the stool, but she remained still even after Sebastian sat down across from her and stared at her expectantly. He expects me to be offended by that, Nyssa realized. He expects me to defend myself.
Instead, she just nodded and focused her attention on her wine, acting like Sebastian hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary.
Sebastian’s brow furrowed again, his eyes narrowing like he was trying to decode the secret meanings hidden in Nyssa’s face. “That doesn’t worry you?” he finally asked, picking up his own glass to catch up with Nyssa.
Nyssa shrugged. “I mean, it is what it is. I assume you know your girlfriend better than I do. Who am I to argue with you?”
“Hmm,” Sebastian said. He leaned back a little on his stool as he stared at Nyssa for a long, tense moment where Nyssa felt like every skin cell on her face was prickling under his intense attention. “You’re a strange one, you know that?”
“How do you mean?” Nyssa asked.
“One second,” Sebastian said, getting back to his feet to rescue the pasta from the water, straining it quickly before dumping it onto a huge plate to cool. After switching the stove off, he returned to his seat, downing the remainder of his wine quickly before pouring himself another glass. “You want more?” he asked.
“Okay,” Nyssa said, offering her glass forward to get more wine. She’d never had the time or money or any other resource to become a wine aficionado, but she could tell this stuff was expensive, and she figured she might as well take advantage of the opportunity and enjoy it while it lasted.
Sebastian poured another healthy portion of wine into her glass, but after she pulled it back toward herself, he remained leaning over the table, staring down at Nyssa from his greater height. “Doesn’t it scare you?” he asked after an excruciating couple of seconds where neither spoke.
“The wine?” She allowed herself to smirk up at Sebastian then, if only for a second. She knew he wasn’t talking about the wine, but it was easier to deflect than to follow him along this line of conversation. She didn’t know a lot about Katrina, but she figured her madam would still be pretty infuriated if she knew her boyfriend was talking about her to a random hooker.
Sebastian scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Katrina. Doesn’t she scare you?”
Nyssa looked down at her wine for a moment, her mind stumbling over itself to try to come up with an acceptably coherent answer. “I—I don’t know,” she finally responded, giving herself another reprieve by taking another long sip of her wine. “I know she probably should, but…” Nyssa let her sentence trail off, unwilling to explain exactly what she meant.
Sebastian stared at her for another few moments before sighing and getting to his feet to pile pasta and chicken onto two plates for them. “Here you go,” he said, sliding her dinner before her. “Hey, just a word of advice. Don’t tell Katrina I fed you. It wouldn’t make her particularly happy, if you know what I mean.”
Nyssa hesitated before digging into the dinner Sebastian had prepared for her. “Why’s that?” she asked, even though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer.
Sebastian huffed out a bitter laugh and began twirling his fork around in the pasta on his plate. “Don’t play dumb. I can tell you’re smarter than that.”
“Fair enough,” Nyssa said. She began to take small bites of the food, surprised to realize how good it tasted. He’s a good cook, she thought to herself. I wouldn’t have guessed that. There was more to him than met the naked eye. Despite her better instincts, she felt herself grow wildly curious about the man in front of her. He’d fucked her like an animal, without really caring that much if she came or not. But at the same time, he must have been at least a little concerned about Nyssa’s safety and well-being, otherwise he wouldn’t have warned her not to tell Katrina about the food. He just doesn’t want me to get in trouble so that I can keep coming over here to fuck him. That, or he wants to avoid having Katrina scream at him about it. He doesn’t give a shit. Don’t be stupid.
Still, she couldn’t shake the thought that there was another side to Sebastian, some hidden part of him that contrasted with the thoughtlessly primal way he fucked her. Before she could stop herself, she opened her mouth and asked the question was that was bearing down on top of her mind: “If you’re so concerned about not upsetting Katrina, why are you doing this in the first place?”
Sebastian’s hand froze, his fork hanging in midair as he looked up at Nyssa again. “This?” he asked.
“This arrangement,” Nyssa explained. “With me. Why are you doing it if you don’t want to piss her off?”
Sebastian sighed and put his fork down. “It’s complicated,” he said. Nyssa felt a little wave of relief wash over her. At the very least, Sebastian didn’t seem pissed that she had the audacity to ask him about his relationship. She knew she was being stupid, prying where she didn’t need to be, but for some reason she got the sense that Sebastian wasn’t going to punish her for it. After all, half of the reason men came to sex workers in the first place was to confess their most secret hidden feelings to somebody they could trust not to te
ll anybody else. Why would Sebastian be any different?
“I have time,” Nyssa said, taking a huge bite of chicken. Her belly felt warm, feeling the aftereffects of the wine, but she kept on sipping. It was nice to let herself relax for once.
Sebastian nodded, but he still grimaced a little, apparently physically pained at having to come up with the words to describe his relationship with Katrina. That’s not the best sign in the world, Nyssa mused silently to herself as she attacked her plate with more furor. She knew enough about men to know that it was easier for them to talk about their feelings if a woman wasn’t staring them directly in the eye.
“Katrina wants what she wants when she wants it,” Sebastian finally said with a long drawn-out sigh. “It makes sense, given how she grew up, with her dad having control over everything. When she doesn’t want to do something, she won’t fucking do it.”
“Then why did she agree to let me come over here to be with you?” Nyssa asked.
Sebastian was quiet a moment, tapping his fingers on the side of the table, obviously debating whether or not to tell Nyssa the full story. “She didn’t want to fuck me anymore, okay? I get the feeling that she’s more relieved now than anything else.”
“Oh.” Nyssa felt a hot flash of secondhand embarrassment climb up her spine and the back of her neck. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be,” Sebastian said quickly before taking another big sip of his wine. “It’s better this way. I leave her alone, she leaves me alone, and we both get what we want.”
Nyssa swallowed a little to clear her throat before forcing out the next question that sat on the tip of her tongue. “If you don’t mind my asking,” she said carefully, pausing to give Sebastian plenty of time to interrupt her and tell her to shut up if he wanted before continuing to speak, “why are you still together? You don’t seem to…” Love each other, she thought to herself, but she didn’t want to say those words out loud, in case they might make Sebastian uncomfortable or upset.
“Be happy?” Sebastian suggested, and Nyssa nodded, deciding that was as good a phrase for it as any. “We are. At least, I am. I’ve got what I want.” He stared hard at Nyssa, his eyes gleaming with desire. Nyssa shifted awkwardly in her seat. She silently prayed that he wouldn’t try to fuck her again immediately, at least not without some more buildup. Her pussy was still feeling the aftershocks of their fuck session from earlier, and she needed some time to recover before taking him in again.
“That’s good,” Nyssa said after clearing her throat. “It’s good that Katrina agreed to give you what you need.”
Sebastian scoffed and shook his head. “It’s not about what I want. It’s about what her daddy tells her to do. And Papa Giustini needs me.”
Nyssa hesitated to ask her next question, focusing for a minute on her food so she wouldn’t have to look at Sebastian. For some reason she was certain that if he saw her face, he’d be able to tell how curious she was. And that was unacceptable. She needed him to think that she didn’t give a fuck about this, otherwise she’d be entering dangerous territory she wouldn’t know how to navigate. There was always the element of power in every sex worker/client relationship: if the client thought that the sex worker really cared about him beyond the money, he’d become too attached to her. Nyssa couldn’t afford to let that happen.
But still, she couldn’t stop herself from letting her curiosity out, despite the dangers involved. Her desire to know about Sebastian and his life was just too strong to overcome. “What do you do for Giustini, exactly? Like why does he need you so badly?”
Sebastian cleared his throat and shifted his stool closer to the countertop, but otherwise he didn’t look surprised or at all taken aback by her question. “I sell the goods.”
“The drugs?” Nyssa suggested, and Sebastian nodded, smiling a little at the way she corrected his euphemism.
“Yes,” Sebastian said. “It’s been going really well lately. The city needs its medication, I guess.”
“And that’s why Giustini will let you do whatever you want, basically?” Nyssa asked as she stabbed the final pieces of chicken on her plate.
Sebastian nodded. “I have connections to people that the Giustinis can’t touch, through the relationships my parents have with the elite in the city. I can sell to businesspeople and lawyers and politicians, people who would rather die before admitting they do business with the mob. Giustini needs me, otherwise he has to give up on the money I get for him.”
“I see,” Nyssa said before finishing off her second glass of wine. Sebastian reached forward and grabbed her glass to refill it again without asking her permission, but Nyssa didn’t mind. If she was honest with herself, she was enjoying this, almost as much as she’d enjoyed the sex earlier. But she had to be careful. She couldn’t let him know that she was having a nice time, just listening to him talk about his life.
Even still, as she sipped at her third glass of wine, she couldn’t force herself to suppress the final question that rose up within her throat. “If everything’s so great, why do you two seem so…?” Nyssa trailed off, shaking her head at herself before finding the right words to say. “I mean, you seem to fight quite a bit.”
“True,” Sebastian said, nodding in agreement. “Look, Katrina’s a handful. Everyone who meets her can see that.”
“So why do you put up with it?” Nyssa asked. “I mean, from the way you talk about it, you’re the one with all the power here. Not the Giustinis.”
Sebastian was silent for a long moment. Nyssa felt like her skin was prickling again, but this time she wasn’t afraid. He’s not going to get mad at me, she thought with weirdly perfect confidence. I have more power here than I thought.
Finally, Sebastian nodded slowly, his gaze slipping down to the countertop between them. “You’re right,” he said. “The truth is, I’ve always wanted to belong to something, I guess. Something special and exclusive, you know? When I met Katrina, I thought… this is it. This is my ticket into another family.”
“What’s wrong with your family?” Nyssa asked impulsively.
“Nothing, nothing,” Sebastian said a little too quickly, waving his hand in the air as if to physically push her question away. “They’re fine. I just… I wanted something else. I wanted to be a part of the Giustini empire, you know?”
“I can’t help but notice you’re using the past tense there,” Nyssa commented.
Nyssa saw Sebastian’s throat work furiously as he swallowed, probably attempting to clear his throat. His eyes were full of some emotion that Nyssa couldn’t quite identify, but she didn’t feel nervous or scared at all. For the first time with Sebastian, she knew she was going to be okay. He wasn’t going to hurt her. Somehow, being here listening to his insecurities, she just knew that even if he was capable of causing her harm, he wouldn’t want to. She was safe, even when she was prodding him with overly invasive questions about his personal life.
“You’re right,” Sebastian finally said. “I wanted to be made. You know, I wanted to be a confirmed part of the family, somebody who’d be protected and defended. I wanted to go through the special ceremony and everything. Become a real made man. But…” He trailed off, sighing deeply and pouring himself even more wine.
“But?” Nyssa prompted him, wanting him to continue.
“It’s not going to happen that way,” Sebastian said with a shrug, a wry, humorless smile spreading across his face. “Even if Katrina and I were to get married, it wouldn’t happen. Giustini has been pretty clear about that.” He paused, shrugging again as he drank more wine.
“Shit,” Nyssa said. “Even after everything you’ve done? Making them more money?”
Sebastian smiled again, shaking his head. “It doesn’t seem to matter. But whatever. I’m getting richer. They’re getting richer. I can get what I need from you and leave Katrina alone most of the time. It all works out.”
Nyssa wasn’t sure what to say that, but it felt insufficient to her. So they’re just in a
relationship of convenience, Nyssa thought. She didn’t realize until just that moment that she’d actually felt guilty, fucking Katrina’s boyfriend, but now that she knew the truth about their relationship, she felt better about doing her job. He’s just like any other man, she thought. He needs someone to care for him. Nyssa could do that. Or at least she could pretend to.
When it became clear that Nyssa wasn’t going to continue the conversation anymore, Sebastian got to his feet, grabbing his and Nyssa’s plates and taking them to the sink. “I guess I should get back to Katrina’s soon,” Nyssa said, getting up off the stool.
“Not just yet,” Sebastian said, turning around and crossing the room, getting into Nyssa’s face so quickly that she didn’t have time to prepare herself. “I’m still hungry.”
Before Nyssa could react, he knelt down onto his knees, looking up at her darkly and running his hands up her bare thighs. “Can I eat you out?” he asked. His tongue came out to lick at his lips, while his eyes seemed to glow with pure desire.