by Catie Rhodes
“Yeah. We’re done.” Rainey walked toward the carriage house. “Maybe that smell is gone. Let’s get packed up and get on our way.”
Felicia ran to Chase’s side, already chattering at him. He turned his face away at first. Then Felicia started talking about her record producer cousin, and his frostiness melted away like magic.
I hung back. Maybe I ought to keep looking. Oh, hell. Who am I kidding? It’s no use.
“I’ll come with Chase to help you look tomorrow.” Tubby’s voice came from behind me.
“Thanks.” What else was there to say to Tubby? He was trying hard to be nice. I had sense enough to know that much, but I didn’t feel like dealing with him right then.
“You want to get Felicia back?” His voice was nearer now, right beside me. I turned to face him, to see if his face gave away his intent. I saw nothing other than the whites of his eyes and his teeth. He was grinning that diabolical grin.
“Yeah, I do.” The words came out before I could stop them.
Tubby leaned in and told me what he had in mind. We walked back to the carriage house together.
* * *
Inside, Chase followed behind Rainey, packing up. Felicia tagged after him, doing nothing, still yapping about her music producer cousin. She saw me come in with Tubby. Her smile widened, and she sidled closer to Chase.
“Peri Jean and Tubby, put all this stuff back in my backpack.” Rainey gestured at a wad of cords at her feet.
I untangled the first couple of cords and handed them to Tubby who wound them. Felicia’s voice drilled into my brain. The headache in the back of my neck dug in and made itself at home, but my hands worked fast. Soon a pile of neatly wound cords sat in front of me.
“Felicia, help us take this stuff in the kitchen.” I glanced at Tubby, making sure he was still up for our plan. He grinned, dark blue eyes dancing with malice.
Felicia glanced at Chase as though he might tell her to please stay with him and keep abusing his eardrums with her ugly, shrill voice. He spared her a glance. “You really ought to help. You’re the only person doing nothing.”
Felicia huffed, stomped over to Tubby and me, and picked up the cords we indicated. We took them into the kitchen and piled them in Rainey’s backpack as neatly as we could. I checked to make sure the closet door still stood ajar. Felicia dropped the cords and hurried for the living room so she could continue flirting with my boyfriend. I waited until she was right in front of the broom closet to speak. “Felicia, wait just a minute. I want to talk to you.”
Tubby circled the kitchen and came up behind Felicia. She glanced at him, made a disgusted face, and turned her attention back on me.
“If it’s about Chase, save your breath. And your brain cells.” She laughed. “His music’s more important to him than you, and he thinks I have the golden key to the crapper.”
“If Chase chooses you over me, I suppose it was meant to be. I just wanted to see if you enjoyed a taste of your own medicine.” I glanced over her head at Tubby. His grin scared me. He nodded.
“What the hell are you—” The first bit of fear moved behind her eyes.
I gave Felicia a hard shove. She tried to bat my hands off, but I shoved harder. Her mouth popped open, and her eyes widened comically. She stumbled backward into the broom closet. Tubby slammed the door. We both leaned against it. Satisfaction warmed me from my core. A smile stretched my lips, and I let out a chuckle.
“Let me out.” Felicia banged on the door. “This isn’t funny. I’ll tell Principal Holze. She’ll expel you. This is a school activity.” She followed her threat with a volley of kicks or punches to the door.
Tubby squeezed his eyes shut and laughed silently. I joined in. Felicia increased the volume of her pleas and threats. Chase rushed into the room.
“What the Sam Hill are y’all doing in here? Sounds like you’re killing somebody.” He took in Tubby and me pressed against the broom closet door. “Is Felicia…”
Rainey ran into the room, her eyes wide. She took in the situation at a glance. Rather than scolding us, she backed away until she leaned against the kitchen counter. She crossed her arms over her chest.
Felicia’s banging and screaming intensified. She yelped in pain. “Ow, that hurt. Shit, hell, fuck, damn, dick, and balls!”
Tubby couldn’t stand it anymore. He opened his mouth and let out peals of undignified guffaws. Tears streamed down his face.
Felicia went quiet. A few seconds later, the sound of her crying came through the wood. Tubby only laughed harder. I inched away from him, taking my weight off the door.
“Let her out, Tub.” Chase’s voice carried a soft threat.
Tubby’s laughter slowed and subsided until it was only a small giggle every few seconds. Felicia’s sobs, on the other hand, increased in volume until she sounded like a lost cat. Tubby, wiping tears of mirth from his cheeks, took his weight off the door.
“Please let me out.” Felicia’s snot-clogged voice sounded warped and foggy.
Tubby broke into another fit of howls. I joined him, imitating Felicia the way she had me earlier. My complete hate of her drowned out any compassion I probably should have felt. Part of me hated myself for the way I was acting. But another part of me, a twisted mean inner doppelganger, found it completely appropriate.
“Come on out, princess.” I giggled. “Nobody’s keeping you in there.”
The doorknob turned, but the door didn’t open. She tried again. This time, she punctuated the doorknob twist with a couple of bangs. “Chase! Chase! Make them let me out.”
“Calm down.” Chase walked over to the door. He twisted the knob and got the same result as Felicia. “Okay. Don’t freak, but I think the door’s stuck again. We’ll get you out. Just give us a second.” He glared at Tubby and me. “Y’all get over here and help me right now.”
“What is that?” Felicia’s voice carried an edge of hysteria. “Stop it! Stop it! Whoever’s doing that, stop it!”
“Nobody’s doing anything to you. Just try to calm—” Chase spoke to her the same way he spoke to me when I got upset. My skin heated and then cooled too quickly as flat emptiness spread through me.
“Something’s touching me,” Felicia screamed. “Oh God, please help me. Something’s touching me. I can feel fingers. Oh God!”
Tubby and I knelt at the bottom of the door and grabbed it. Chase jerked on the knob. It didn’t budge.
Felicia’s words dissolved into hysterical gibberish. Every once in a while, she screamed for help. Then she went quiet, so quiet all I heard was the ringing of my own ears and the pounding of my heart. The sound of something heavy hitting the floor of the broom closet shook the tiny house. The door popped open on its own.
Felicia lay crumpled against the wall, a trickle of blood coming from the corner of her mouth. Red, angry welts covered her bare arms. They looked like scratches, the kind fingernails would make. All of us stood still and stared. Chase was the first to move. He stepped inside the closet and came out carrying the girl who’d tormented me every chance she got. He carried her the exact same way he carried me the time I stepped in a hole and sprained my ankle. I backed away from them and bumped into Tubby.
Chase walked to the kitchen door and stopped. “Will one of you open the door for me?”
Tubby moved to do it, and Chase walked out of the carriage house without a backward glance. We followed him out to his Tahoe where he laid Felicia across the backseat.
“Not that any of you give a shit, but I’m taking her to the hospital.” He glared at me until I squirmed and then stomped off to the driver’s side of the Tahoe.
Panic rushed my blood to pump a little faster. I ran after him and got there before he could get the door closed. I stood where he’d have to physically move me to shut it.
He shook his head at me. “After what your life has been like, I’d expect more compassion from you.”
“Toward her? Have you forgotten all the stuff she’s done to me over the years?” My ange
r flared at the memory of all the abuse. Head dunking in a used toilet. Garbage in my locker. The rumors. My street clothes ruined while I was in gym. The list went on forever.
“You took it too far. Besides”—he glanced behind him—“she’s not all that bad. She just has low self-esteem. Doesn’t know how to make friends.” He started the Tahoe. “Now get out of the way.”
Tears stung my eyes. A million explanations came to my lips, but I stopped them. The rigid set of Chase’s jaw told me it would fall on deaf ears. I took several steps backward. Chase sped away from the curb. I watched his taillights until he turned off Division Street and back toward downtown where the hospital was.
“Ten bucks says she’s faking.” Tubby shoved his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders.
“Let’s load up the Cadillac.” Rainey’s voice sounded hollow. We followed and did as she asked. She jingled her keys in one hand. “Do you need a ride home, Tubman?”
“Naw, I’ll walk.” Tubby stared at me as though expecting something. I didn’t know what to say, so I turned my back on him and got in Rainey’s car. We passed him on the way back to town. He walked with his head down and didn’t acknowledge us.
* * *
I got up the next morning thinking I could make things right between Chase and me by the time prom rolled around, but he wouldn’t take my phone calls. Finally, his mother told me he said he was sick.
Around midday, Eddie Kennedy delivered the Nova to the house all clean and shiny. He took one look at my face and asked Memaw if she minded if he and I took a drive. Eddie wasn’t one of those sensitive men you see on TV shows, but he was the only dad I had. He sat in the Nova’s passenger seat cracking his hairy knuckles and waited for me to talk. I spilled the whole awful tale. My voice hitched when I got to the part about Chase ignoring me.
“As you can see, I ain’t real good at romance.” Eddie held up his hand and pointed to the finger where a wedding ring would have gone. “But if it was me? I’d go by myself. Have a good time. Let Chase stay at home all sulled up if that’s what he wants.”
I dropped Eddie off at his trailer and drove straight home. Memaw watched me get dressed and helped me pin my hair into a complicated style she claimed was popular when she was a teenager.
“Sure you want to do this?” Her mouth was fixed into a grim line split by seams from all her years of smoking.
I nodded, even though I wasn’t. I drove to the high school alone and parked my daddy’s Nova in the senior parking lot, right next to Chase’s Tahoe.
So he wasn’t sick. I’d known all along but wanted to believe things were still okay. My chest hitched a couple of times but stopped before the sobs came. I had no more tears to cry over this. I checked my makeup in the cheap compact I brought along. Satisfied it wasn’t going to get any better, I shoved my purse under the passenger seat and got out of the car.
I took a few steps across the parking lot. Loud music blared from the gym. For some reason, the music made the reality of this moment, going to the prom alone, more painful. Should I just go home? I turned to look at my shiny blue car. Nobody but me would care or notice. The hurt started at my tense shoulders and worked its way down to my feet. I couldn’t go home without showing my face, without letting everybody know I wouldn’t just slink quietly away. I wanted to make Chase as uncomfortable as he’d made me.
My black pumps, borrowed from Memaw, crunched and clacked over the asphalt of the parking lot. The closer I got to the gym, the more my shoulder muscles tightened. I wanted to confront Chase. I was ready for whatever change it brought about.
“Hey. Wait. Let me talk to you a second,” said a voice from the shadows.
My body jerked. I whipped my head around until I saw the red glow of a cigarette ember. Tubby Tubman stepped into the dim light. He took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and held them out to me. I took a step toward him, reached for them, and shook one out of the pack. He lit it for me, and I inhaled deeply. For the first time, the cigarette didn’t nearly knock me down. The poison in my lungs felt good.
“My advice, which I’m sure you ain’t interested in hearing, is don’t go in.” Tubby drew on his cigarette, assessing me through squinted eyes.
I squared my shoulders.
“Nothing you do’ll make any difference.” He shook his head at me. “And you’ll probably get into trouble.” Tubby shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
I noticed they were new, starched with a crease sharp enough to cut. His plain white button-down shirt and a black tie were a far cry from the tuxedo Chase planned to wear to the prom. This must have been Tubby’s version of formal dress. Maybe he was like me and didn’t have much else.
“I spent all day preparing myself to get into trouble.” I crossed my arms over my chest and propped my chin on the back of my hand, the smoke from the cigarette drifting up to make my eye water. “Kept expecting the phone to ring, to tell me I was expelled from school for…doing what I did to Felicia.”
Tubby laughed and nodded. “I kept expecting a sheriff’s mobile to come get me and take my ass back to jail. Eighteen now, so it would be real jail this time.” Tubby tossed his butt away and came closer. “Then I called up Bullfrog at the pool hall. He’s my second cousin, you know? The Frog said Chase and Felicia come in last night like nothing happened. Him and his band played a couple of sets, Felicia sitting right up front. Him and her left together at the end of the night.”
“You talk to Chase?” I finished my cigarette and crushed it under my shoe.
“Called him.” Tubby nodded. “He told me she came around by the time they got to the hospital and was okay.”
I snorted. “And staying the center of Chase’s attention was better than playing victim for the hospital staff and whoever else she could get involved.”
Tubby took out his cigarettes and offered me another one. I took it. We lit up.
“I can’t just let her steal my boyfriend and do nothing.” Puffs of smoke came out with my words and floated off into the cool night.
“Is it worth getting expelled?” Tubby rubbed at the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “You’re eighteen now, right? You could get in legal trouble.”
“I’m seventeen. I won’t be eighteen until June. Memaw got me into school a year early.” My shoes had started to pinch, and I shifted around. How did women stand these? I bet my last dollar men would never, ever wear them.
Tubby chuckled and walked to the door. He held it open. “Your funeral. But only go if you think it’ll make you feel better. Because it won’t make a damn to anybody else in there.”
The music met me at the door. The mirrored disco ball and odd-colored lights and dozens of moving bodies created a kind of writhing darkness. It threw me off kilter. I stood still to get my bearings and then got moving. I walked through the throng, brushing against my classmates. Most ignored me, but a few took in my black dress and styled hair with raised eyebrows. I didn’t have to search for Chase. Most of the gazes darted to the other side of the gym. Knowingly or not, they told me where to go.
I watched Chase and Felicia for several songs. They sat drinking punch at the table the prom tickets paid for. Every few sips, Chase produced an oblong bottle filled with clear liquid and topped off the drinks. Felicia leaned in close and pressed her cleavage against Chase’s arm. Her shiny lips moved. Probably telling more lies.
Had she manufactured the whole scene with the broom closet? I studied her pale arms. Sure enough, red scratches covered them. She could have done it herself, but the sound of her terror had seemed so real and immediate. Maybe she had more acting skills than I ever guessed.
Chase laughed at something she said. Then, as though feeling my stare, he turned and saw me. The smile faded off his face. He stood and smoothed down the fabric of his black tux. Felicia started to stand, but he shook his head at her and approached me.
“Enjoying yourself?” Stupid, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
Chase shifted and
crossed his arms over his middle.
I stared into his face, seeing the boy I had a crush on all my life, the one who gave me my first kiss. The first lover I ever had. I’d been reading his emotions so long I identified the dull sadness in his soft brown eyes and the shame in his hunched shoulders.
“I should have done this a different way,” he muttered. “I know we said we’d take on the world together, but I…when I played those tour dates with Snakebite…I realized I want to be on my own for a while.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.
“So you’re taking up with her? It’d be one thing if you dumped me and went stag.” I felt the stares of my classmates on my back and wanted desperately to turn and face them, but I forced myself to focus on Chase. “If you’re with Felicia, you’re not alone. Plus, you can do better than her.”
Chase shrugged and shook his head.
“Look at me, you coward. You couldn’t even come over to the house or tell me on the phone. Instead, I had to come here and see you with that bitch.” The ache throbbed in my middle. It felt like any minute, I’d burst into a million hurting, quivering pieces all over the gym’s shiny floor.
“I didn’t want to hurt you.” His mouth turned down.
I believed him. His tenderheartedness came out in just about everything he did, from helping injured animals to playing music for sad people. Had I been nothing more than something hurt he wanted to help? Probably so. Deep anguish closed my throat and made my eyes sting. Why had I come in here? It was time to go. Save as much of my pride as I could.
“Have fun,” I told Chase.
He held out his arms, as though we might hug one last time.
“Don’t even think about touching me.” I stomped toward the exit.
The shove came from out of nowhere. I was stupid not to expect it, not to keep my peripheral vision on high alert. But I was too focused on feeling like I was fixing to die to notice anything. Even the two-inch heels on Memaw’s sensible pumps were enough to trip me up. I went sprawling, banging my knees on the hard floor. I yelped at the pain.