Child's Play: A Spaceman's Story

by Guerin Zand

  “Go slowly with it and the effects can be most pleasant. The first sip is always a bit of a shock to the system but after that it becomes more pleasant.”

  “Everything seems much more pleasant after that first sip. Even Julie couldn’t ruin this feeling.” I replied.

  We finished our meal and sat back to slowly enjoy our drinks.

  “So, let’s get back to business. The Bree brought you here, as I was saying, as a representative of humans for the committee to determine what course we should pursue in regard to human interaction. In a way, you are the Earth ambassador here to represent your race. The selection was Milly’s responsibility and this meeting is just for me to judge if Milly was correct before we move on.”

  “I’ve said it to others, and I’ll say it again, I don’t think I am the best candidate for this. Maybe I don’t know what you’re looking for from us but I am not a politically correct type.”

  “Which could be exactly why Milly would choose you. A politician would be useless to us.”

  “They’re pretty useless to us too.”

  “We want to hear, and see, honest responses from you. How you react to this new reality. How do you handle meeting different races? Is it too overwhelming for you?”

  “We have to answer these questions, and many others to make an informed decision. You seem to be handling it all well. Yes, we have seen some instances where you may not have coped as well as others might, but that hasn’t really stopped you from exploring and trying to understand this unfamiliar environment. You seem to be taking a rather rational approach to your current situation.”

  “It may seem like that to you, but trust me, I’ve given up on making any sense out of all of this and decided to just try and enjoy the ride.”

  “Which I would say is quite a bit more rational than curling up in a ball and playing with your own feces wouldn’t you?

  “That’s a pretty low bar to clear. I’d hope that’s not the standard you’re using to judge me by.”

  “I’m not here to judge you, as you say. More to judge Milly’s decision. I think she’s done well.”

  “Tomorrow evening I’ll be hosting a dinner for the committee and we’d like you to attend as the guest of honor. There, the other members can ask you questions, spend time getting to know more about you, and hopefully about humans. I hope you will attend.”

  “Well Sly, as you probably know, I have nothing better to do so I’d be glad to join you tomorrow night. Just promise more of this fine beverage will be available.”

  “It’s a deal.”

  I guess at some point Sly had called for Milly, since she suddenly appeared. I wonder if she was monitoring this whole lunch. I really didn’t like the feeling of constantly being watched but since there was nothing I could do about it I decided ignoring it was the best, and only real option.

  “How is everything going here?”

  “Fine Milly. I just invited Guerin to our dinner tomorrow night and he has accepted. We had a good talk, lunch and a drink. I was just thinking about ordering another Gluark for both of us would you like to join us?”

  Milly took a seat at the table. “Really Sly you had to introduce him to Gluark? I don’t think he should have a second one seeing as this is his first time.”

  “Why not Milly?” I asked. “It’s a pretty awesome beverage and I feel fine, really?”

  “I think two Gluarks will make you pretty useless for the rest of the day and I have other plans for you today. If you are finished here Sly I’ll take Guerin off your hands and we’ll see you tomorrow night.”

  “Guerin, it was nice meeting you. I look forward to seeing you both tomorrow night.”

  “It was nice meeting you too Sly and thanks for the Gluark.”

  With that Milly and I stood up, left the restaurant and headed for a pad to take us away.

  Chapter 12

  Time to Get Serious

  “I thought we would just head over to the green area and we could take a walk. Give you a chance to appreciate what we have to offer here on the ship and work off the Gluark effects.”

  “I don’t know what you mean Milly. I feel fine. The Gluark really didn’t affect me that much.”

  “Is that why you have that large smile plastered on your face? You have no idea what that drink does to a person. I should have warned you ahead of time. Sly does like his Gluark and I should have known he would introduce you to it. Just be careful and don’t let him sucker you into a Gluark binge. Trust me you’d be recovering for days.”

  “I’ll promise to not over indulge at dinner tomorrow night but that sounds like the kind of night I might enjoy. Who knows? Maybe Sly can take me to some of the local lizard lounges where we can drink Gluark and chase some lizard skirts.”

  “Lizard skirts? Really Guerin? You don’t think maybe that’s the Gluark talking?”

  “Maybe, but I haven’t met any Cyletherean females yet, other than the child Nancy. It would be a pity to not at least check them out while I’m here. Who knows?”

  “You’re pathetic Guerin. I am going to chalk up this whole conversation to the Gluark and I’ll try to forget it!”

  Milly led me through one of the larger gardens in the green areas. There were a variety of different birds in this area which I hadn’t noticed before. Perhaps they only stayed in the unpopulated areas I thought. The plants were plants I guess. I’m not big into botany, and as I said before, I didn’t have time to learn all their names.

  “What do you think of this garden?”

  “It’s pretty, I guess. I’m sure the plants are not from Earth, for the most part, but it doesn’t seem all that foreign to me. It reminds me of the woods at home where I walk the dogs. It is a nice break from the ugly green interior of Sammy’s shuttle though. Before we left the shuttle, I was wondering if the Bree had any appreciation for aesthetics.”

  “Of course we appreciate beauty, in all forms. Shuttles are functional and not meant to be pretty. We could tour one of the art museums if you’d like?”

  “Do I look like the museum type Milly?”

  “No and you’re obviously not much of a romantic either, are you?”

  “What makes you say that?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because it’s a beautiful day to tour the gardens and you don’t really seem to be enjoying it with me.”

  “I enjoy being with you. Don’t be ridiculous. Maybe the reason for the large smile on my face is because I’m with you. Did that thought happen to cross your mind?”

  “I’m sorry I said that. I just want you to have fun today for a change. I heard you enjoyed your time with Sid and Nancy and it looked like you and Sly had fun. I just want you to have fun with me and I guess I thought I might be boring you.”

  “Sure, I am totally bored. I can’t think of anything more boring than spending an afternoon with a hot space babe.”

  Milly punched me in the shoulder, real hard. It was going to leave a mark for sure. I put my arm around her, held her tight and she smiled.

  “You’re still an asshole.”

  “Of course I am. That’s a given. If you want to really make me happy then let’s go back to your room and talk. I found out somethings about your work and Sly indicated that there were things you weren’t telling me. I want to talk to you seriously for a change and try and clear up some issues.”

  “Ok. If that’s what you want.”

  We exited the gardens, passed by the food stations to get to a magic pad, and off to Milly’s room we went.

  “Do you want something to drink Guerin?”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  We both took a seat at the table / desk in the main room.

  “What is it that’s bothering you?”

  “It’s a lot of things Milly. Maybe they’re not big things but when I add them all up, they don’t make any sense. First, why couldn’t I access any information on your project using the viewer in my room but I could using this viewer in your room? You told me you weren’t hiding an
ything but that’s not what it seems like.”

  “You were snooping around using my viewer?”

  “I don’t think it’s snooping if you told me I could access whatever I wanted using the viewer, and don’t change the subject. I hate when you do that to avoid answering my questions.”

  “I’m sorry …”

  “And don’t keep apologizing. I think you do that to distract me and I’m not buying it anymore. You’re not the fragile little girl that you often act like. I think that is a ploy just to get me to feel like I’m being mean and get me to change the subject.”

  “What was that crap with you and Julie last night? You were acting like high school girls, and yes, maybe I bought it last night, but I can’t believe a couple of women who have been around longer than me are that trivial. Did you do it to stop me from what I was doing? Trying to get more info.”

  “That’s not what happened. Sometimes even us old hags get emotional especially when we get a bit drunk.”

  “The old hag comment wasn’t needed. I never referred to you in that way and once again I think you just do that to make me feel like the bad guy and distract me. Will you just answer the original question which is, why I couldn’t access that info on my viewer?”

  “Those are my personal work files and that data is for those people who are connected to the project. When you work on projects for a company on Earth is that data available on the internet?”

  “No, but that’s not the point. I’m obviously connected to this project so why wouldn’t you give me access to this data, especially after I’ve asked for more info?”

  “I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. If you had asked me directly for access to the information I would have made it available.”

  “Sly told me the Bree were tight with their information and I have to agree. It’s like pulling teeth to get anything out of you. Maybe Sly and the rest are fine with that, but I’m not.”

  “You’re treating me like a child and I don’t like it. Sure, I may be an idiot compared to everyone else here, including Sid and Nancy, but I’m not a child. Do you really care about me or is that just another act to keep me pacified? Do you think there is anything you could tell me that I wouldn’t be able to handle? Look at me. This whole situation has pushed the limits of what I can handle and I don’t think anything you could tell me would shock me at this point.”

  “First off, I do really care about you. That’s not an act. I am not trying to deceive you, it’s just some things I don’t want you to know yet. Yes, maybe we’ve been treating you a bit like a child, but can you blame us? Did you forget your little tantrums when you first came aboard the shuttle?”

  “No, I haven’t forgotten my little tantrums, but maybe those could have been avoided if you would have just been upfront with me from the beginning.”

  “What do you want me to say Guerin? If I apologize you’ll get mad and if I don’t you’re still going to be mad.”

  “I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to just be honest with me. Don’t try and hide things from me especially when I ask you about them.”

  “Let me give you an example. All these recording you have of me aren’t video recordings, are they? You don’t have some super surveillance system that can monitor me 24 / 7 do you?”

  “No.”

  “You’re getting this info straight from my memories, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And I’m willing to bet when you came to my birth at the hospital you weren’t just there to see what a pretty baby I was. You implanted something in me so you could retrieve these memories. Am I on the right track here?”

  “Ok, yes. We did implant a small device but it’s not dangerous nor does it have any effect on you or how you act. You’re not the only human we’ve implanted with such a device. It’s no different from how you humans tag some animals in the wild to track them. That doesn’t seem to upset you, does it?”

  “It’s not the same thing. If those animals could understand, then maybe it would be the same if we hid what we were doing. But that’s not the case.”

  “Oh really? You don’t have any more understanding of what we’re doing than those animals understand what you’re doing.”

  “That’s a cheap shot Milly. The big difference you seem to be leaving out is that we’re capable of learning and understanding these things. I figured it out all on my own with my tiny little monkey brain, didn’t I?”

  “Ok. I’ll concede that, but you must know we all have the same device implanted in our minds as well. How do you think we interface with all the tech you’ve seen, like the replicators? Without that device, you would be truly helpless in this society.”

  “As surprised as you may be, I guessed that was the case, I mean about how I was able to control the tech. I didn’t know you had the same device implanted but that just raises another question. You can upload another person’s memories to your memory using this device as well, can’t you? That’s how you know things about me. Not from watching videos, right?”

  “Yes, we can.”

  “So why don’t you upload some of your memories to me? Maybe I would understand a lot more. That is, unless you still want to hide things from me.”

  “I could, but you’re right. There are some things I don’t want you to know, at least not yet. I will promise you that if you ask me something, and I don’t want you to know, I’ll tell you instead and not be evasive about it. How’s that?”

  “I can accept that, but also promise that you won’t go stealing my memories anymore without asking for my permission first, ok?”

  “Ok. Is there anything else?”

  “Yes, there is. The scenarios, simulations and predictions about humans I found and you’re actions in some of these scenarios bothers me. Where do you get off coming up with plans to alter our development? The idea of having you, or some committee of aliens, making decisions that affect us without our knowledge is offensive. Some of what I saw truly angered me. Why not just leave us alone?”

  “A lot of these things are simply ‘what ifs’ and have such a small probability of occurring that they aren’t even worth considering. In some cases, it’s not just humans that would be affected so what makes you think what happens on Earth is only your business? Who’s being presumptuous now?”

  I tried to say something but Milly was on a roll. I think I finally pushed the right buttons and I was going to get some answers.

  “It may come as news to you but the universe does not revolve around humans. You’re a member of a greater society which you are not aware of, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Humans are very self-centered and at some point you’re going to have to get over that. Yes, in the best case scenario we would not interfere with human development at all, but at some point there will be interaction if humans continue to progress. You can’t avoid that, and you need to be ready. A small amount of interference is necessary for this to work out. Why do you think you’re here?”

  “I think I’m here as some sort of lab rat that you can poke and prod and see my reactions. Wasn’t that what my talk with Sly was about? Isn’t that the reason for tomorrows dinner? I’m a living power point presentation for your cosmic design review, right?”

  “Maybe that’s partially true. I can’t say exactly what your part will be in the end because those decisions haven’t been made yet. The info the committee gains from observing and interacting with you will be used to refine the models we have and help us to decide our next step. I wouldn’t call you a lab rat. You’re more like an example of humanity that we can observe first hand.” Ok, that sounded like the definition of a lab rat to me. “Mix that along with all the data we have gathered from your memories and we can define a more accurate model.”

  “Wouldn’t you need more than one example to get an accurate picture of humans? Using one person, especially me, as the standard would seem to me to be a flaw in this study?”

  “As I said you’re not the only hu
man we’ve monitored. You were picked because the models found you to be ‘uniquely’ typical of the humans we monitored. Bringing up several humans would add to the confusion and would probably not go unnoticed on Earth. Being able to observe a single human’s reaction would also be different if there were a group of human’s together. Group responses are different, and at some point in the near future, we will study how best to introduce ourselves to a small group. It’s all in an effort to determine the best approach to human contact without causing world panic. Give us a little credit. We’ve done this before.”

  “First off Milly, ‘uniquely’ typical is what we call an oxymoron. Basically, that means a stupid statement. You can’t be unique and typical at the same time. You are one or the other. Secondly, I think I am offended by that description of me.”

  “Whatever. Now who’s being trivial?” With that she stuck her tongue out at me.

  I just gave her a look. I knew she didn’t expect an answer. She was getting upset but I don’t think it was at me as much as being cornered. If they were as smart as they claim to be she must have known this would happen. Was this just another test?

  “Last question for now. I’m sure I’ll have more later so don’t get comfortable. How long will I be here? You said, a few days maybe a couple of weeks at most, but from my discussion with Sly I got a feeling that I was expected to be here for a while.”

  “I can’t answer that now. It will depend on how things work out. I promise though, at any time you decide you want out, I’ll take you straight home. I just ask you to be patient and give us the time we need. It’s important and I know you feel a bit uncomfortable here but give us a chance please?”

  “I’ll be patient, but cut the shit. No more little fragile girl act. I want to know the real Milly, not this fake Milly. I think I have the right to know who you really are and that goes for everyone. No more dicking me around. Who knows? Maybe I am totally wrong about you and Julie. Maybe Julie’s the nice one and you’re the evil uber-bitch from planet X.”