by Elle Viviani
“You don’t have to.”
His eyes meet mine. A beaten weariness is there that I’ve never seen before. “It’s fine.”
I nod. I turn, grasp the door handle, and let myself out. The moment the door shuts behind me, a heaviness lifts off my chest that I didn’t even know was there. I feel like a new woman, strong and in control, and it’s sweeter than a powdered sugar beignet.
Chapter 10
Bryce
I have some downtime before I’m needed at the venue tonight, so I’m taking the precious time off to hit the ropes. With every slam of my fists into the hard leather punching bag, my mind drifts farther away. But it doesn’t quiet. Oh, no. It drifts to the only thing that occupies my thoughts these days. Autumn.
She’s been distant since New Orleans, barely spoke to me in Tallahassee, and avoided me the moment we stepped off the bus in Atlanta a few hours ago. I had hoped things might be different if I gave her space, but it doesn’t seem to have done a damn thing.
An hour later, exhausted and sweaty, I step out into the shining sun of downtown Atlanta and head back to the venue. It’d be easier to shower and change on the tour bus instead of stopping by the hotel. My phones vibrates in the pocket of my sweats as I cross the street. I sling my gym bag over my shoulder and hit the screen. “Hill.”
“Hey, we’re heading into hair and makeup.” Zoe’s voice is hard to make out among the chatter and voices. “Where are you?”
“Heading back to the buses. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, but you know how Husky gets when you’re not around.” She laughs. “At least I don’t have to deal with Mini Pin anymore. Quietness reigns these days.”
I frown as I stop at a crosswalk. “What are you talking about?”
“Wait, you didn’t hear? They broke up, like, two days ago.” A pause. “Have you been living under a rock?”
Shock does not even begin to convey what I feel at that exact moment.
“Holy shit,” I breathe, earning a laugh from Zoe. I guess I have been a bit withdrawn lately. I’ve kept to myself on the tour bus, and I’m one hundred percent focused on Autumn while on the clock.
“Yep!” Zoe cries. We’re not free from him yet—he’s still her manager—but we’re free from all the pet names and bickering.”
The tour buses come into view as I round the next block. “Thanks for the heads-up,” I say, heading for the second bus.
“So, Autumn didn’t tell you? I figured you’d be the first to know.”
The key pauses in the lock. “No. She didn’t.”
“Well, don’t worry about it. She didn’t tell anyone. I only figured it out because I reserve the rooms and suddenly I’m booking two instead of one.”
“Yeah. Makes sense.” I clear my throat. “I’ve got to go. Tell Autumn I’ll be there soon.”
“You got it. Over and out.”
I open the door and mount the stairs. “Hello?” I share this bus with Autumn’s stylist team and PR agent, all of whom are probably busy with pre-show stuff, but it doesn’t hurt to check before I strip down to my birthday suit.
After no response, I peel off my shirt and drop it into the hamper by my bed. The rest of my sweaty gym clothes follow soon after, and then I’m under the scalding water, gladly watching the last few hours of this messed-up day swirl down the drain.
Now I know where the beautiful rosy flush in Autumn’s cheeks is coming from. Now I know why her obsidian eyes flash and dance. Now I know why she looks like a new woman these days. Because she’s free.
As in single.
As in I-don’t-have-anything-standing-in-my-way-anymore.
A cold sweat breaks out across my skin despite the warm water. It’s like the work that went into denying the way I feel about Autumn is erased, like all the years I promised myself my need for her is nothing I can’t work out of my system with back-to-back deployments never happened. How the hell am I going to make it through the rest of this tour when my self-control is slipping more each time I see her?
It’s nothing you can’t work past. It’s nothing you can’t control.
A few minutes later, I walk out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam to find Autumn leaning over Michaela’s desk. “What the—!”
Paper goes flying as Autumn lets out a shout. “Oh my God! Bryce! How long…” Words leave her as her eyes dip south. Her hand flutters to her lips as she lets her eyes wander.
Shit.
I duck back into the bathroom, grab a towel, and wrap it around my waist. I secure it tightly in my fist before stealing a glance back at Autumn. I momentarily forget that she’s just seen me naked as I stare at the incredibly sexy woman in front of me.
Flaming orange sundress with a tight bodice and short hemline, leather anklets that show off her toned legs, and a cowgirl hat perched on her mahogany hair. She’s something out of my wildest fantasy.
I try to ignore the heat blooming in my loins as I step back into the hallway. “That’s a far cry from the Hollywood clubwear I’m sick of seeing.”
A blush races up her neck as she yanks her attention back to my face. “Bryce, why…why are you naked?”
I tighten my grip on my towel. “I’m not. Anymore.”
Autumn whirls around with a yelp. “Sorry! You were obviously in the middle of changing and I barged in and, uh…” she draws her tongue over her top lip as she looks back at me “…interrupted your shower.”
“I’m done,” I say, holding back the heat from my voice. Having her watch me like that, to want me without wanting to, was heating up a lot of parts that I’m fighting to cool down. “Do you need me?”
Autumn snaps her head up from my chest. “Need you?”
I frown at her wide-eyed look. “The show. Are you ready?”
“Oh!” Autumn slumps against an empty bunk. “No. I was looking for Michaela’s PR schedule for—” She stops as I walk toward her. “What are you doing?”
She presses her back against the wall as I brush past her. Her soft hair grazes against my damp chest in the confined space. I keep my gaze away from hers, but it doesn’t help. I’m still aware of everything Autumn even without looking at her. The perfume clinging to her glowing skin. Her supple breasts rising and falling under that bodice with every quick breath leaving her pouty lips.
I guess I never thought about what it would mean if Autumn and Cody broke up. What urges it would stir; urges I’ve fought hard to stamp out.
I stoop down and begin collecting the papers off the floor. “Is this what you were looking for?”
Autumn nods without looking at the papers in my hand. Her eyes stay on mine, unflinching and unblinking. I hold them out to her, but she doesn’t take them. Instead she says “Bryce” so soft and sultry like it’s a secret.
Something hard and hot shifts in my chest. I was struck stupid by Autumn when she was standing feet from me. Now that she’s mere inches from my chest, it feels like someone’s thrust a fist inside of my ribcage, grabbed my heart, and squeezed.
Her lips press together as she swallows. Then they’re open again, a flash of pink tongue over her red lips before disappearing between her teeth. “I’ve been wanting to tell you… To talk to you.”
The air grows thick. I try to step back but find I can’t. The only way my body wants to move is forward, but I can’t allow that. Not with the only things separating it from what it wants is a thin towel and a strapless orange dress.
Autumn takes a deep breath and opens her mouth, but before she can speak, a head pops into the doorway.
“Hey, boss, you in—” Zoe’s face goes blank as she spots me in nothing but a towel. “Oh Lord. Is this heaven?”
“Zoe!” Autumn heads for the doorway. She falters as she brushes past me, meeting my shoulder with hers before risking a look at my face. Unsaid words hang between us before she breaks away.
“Autumn?” I murmur. She stops but doesn’t turn. “The papers?”
She stares at my outstretched hand, and then slowly rea
ches for them. She’s careful to not touch my fingers as she takes them. “Thanks.”
“Any time.”
Zoe jumps out of the way as Autumn rushes down the stairs and disappears into the parking lot. She steals one last greedy look back at me before reluctantly shutting the bus door between us.
I let out a long breath that I’ve been holding since the moment I laid eyes on that orange dress. With a muffled curse, I walk back into the bathroom and turn the shower on, waiting until the water’s ice cold before stepping under it. Maybe I preferred those glittery pop ensembles. At least they’re easier to ignore. At least they don’t set my body on fire.
My breath catches as I nudge the water colder, but I don’t relent. At least those versions of Autumn aren’t what I imagine when I picture my dream girl. A dream girl who's now free as a bird.
Autumn’s performance was flawless, but I barely heard it. All I could think about was what could’ve happened if Zoe hadn’t interrupted us. What would have happened if I’d let Autumn see what she wanted to see as she gazed at the towel around my hips? What if Autumn had said what she started to say?
My gut tells me a lot of shit would’ve been different.
I focus on the stage as the packed house gives a massive cheer at the end of Autumn’s encore. She puts down her guitar, waves, and gives a bow, and then heads straight for me. I clear my thoughts and snap to attention.
Autumn bursts backstage with a glowing smile and a shining face. I haven’t seen her this happy since that first show in Memphis. Zoe wraps her arms around her boss and gives her a crushing hug. “You nailed it, girl! Holy hell, Atlanta will be screaming your name for years after tonight.”
Autumn pulls her assistant into another hug. “I had a blast.”
“You played your guitar,” I say quietly.
Autumn’s eyes snap to mine. She lets go of Zoe and faces me. “Yes. I did.”
I wait for Zoe to move off before stepping closer. Her sweet sensuality in that orange dress and the lilting scent of her perfume are a one-two punch in the gut. “I liked it…and this outfit. It suits you, Hartman.”
Her lip tugs in between her teeth as she drops her gaze, but not before I see her flush of satisfaction. “Thank you.” She looks up as I risk another step toward her.
“Autumn, I need to talk to you about—”
“Great job!”
I draw back as Cody loops an arm around Autumn’s shoulders and pulls her in for a hug. Autumn noticeably stiffens at the impact.
Cody must sense the awkwardness because he releases her quickly. “Uh, ready for the meet-and-greet?”
Autumn looks surprised. “You set one up?”
Cody shrugs. “You told me to, so I did. I’m learning.”
Learning my ass. Men like Cody don't suddenly change their stripes—not unless they're after something.
I make a mental note to keep a closer eye on Jensen as he starts for the door before turning back to Autumn. "Any way, I wanted to—“
"So, let’s not keep them waiting!” Jensen interrupts with an evil look my way. I tense as his hand reaches for Autumn's wrist. Autumn throws an apologetic glance at me as she lets herself get pulled away. I stand there, rooted to the spot, and watch a scene out of my past unfold before my very eyes.
I run a hand through my hair and get myself under control. The past’s a bitch, and it never goes away. Maybe it’s best not to pry open a door that’s been nailed shut.
Cody breaks away to speak to some sound techs while Autumn walks outside with Zoe and a few band members. I try to keep my thoughts in the present as I watch the subtle sway of Autumn’s hips in that dress, but they inevitably drift back nine years ago: me standing in a field, watching the girl of my dreams go off with some jock; Autumn finishing the last note of her song with a look of pure joy; our friendship crumbling beneath my feet when I walked away from the girl who walked away from me—
My head jerks up as the crowd gasps around me. We’ve left the protection of the venue and are in the parking lot heading toward the limos waiting at the curb. Fans press against the stanchions holding back the crowd while their hands reach over the metal railing for a chance to shake Autumn’s hand. Pens, papers, ticket stubs and albums are being shoved at her as she passes by. It happens after every show, and every show Autumn spends at least thirty minutes signing, posing for photos, and being the gracious star that she is.
What doesn’t happen after every show is the man breaking through the line and running toward Autumn.
A teenage girl screams to my right. “He’s got a knife!”
A hush falls over the crowd before everything erupts into pandemonium. My training kicks in like a well-oiled machine. My mind goes quiet, my muscles flex and tense, my hearing sharpens, my blood pounds. I take a deep breath, and break out into a sprint.
Four steps.
Zoe gasps as she spots the crazed fan over Autumn’s shoulder.
Three steps.
The band members turn at Zoe’s screams, but they’re too slow and confused to act.
Two steps.
Autumn whirls around in a panic and stiffens. Her eyes widen as she watches the man raise his arm. The object clutched in his fist flashes under the yellowish light of the streetlamp.
One step.
The flash of the paparazzi’s cameras bath the scene in an eerie light as the crowd surges against the barrier.
Zero.
I grab Autumn by the waist and yank her to me.
“No!” the man cries as he reaches Autumn a split second after me. His lips curl back into a wild sneer as he brings his arm down on my shoulder.
“Look out!” Zoe screams, but I’m already moving. I kick out my leg and sweep it under my assailant, wiping his legs out from under him. The weapon skitters harmlessly onto the black asphalt as the man drops like a ton of bricks.
Lights flash. People scream. The air grows thick with the deranged fan’s wails.
“I only wanted a piece of her hair,” he cries, pointing to the pair of scissors a few feet from his outstretched hand. “A piece of Autumn Hart!”
I ignore all of it and focus on keeping the woman clinging to my chest safe.
“Are you alright?” I meet a vacant expression when I peer into her face. Shock. I hook my finger under her chin and lift her face up to mine. “Autumn, come back to me. You’re safe now.”
Her eyes begin to clear. “B-Bryce?”
Relief floods my system. “Yes. Do you know where you are?”
“Where I am?” Her brow furrows as she looks around. Her eyes land on the man howling behind me and widen with fear.
“You’re okay,” I murmur as she clings to my shirt. I run my hand over her hair and turn her away from the chaotic scene. “Just take a deep breath. You’re safe.”
Cody bursts through the exit doors. His face shuts down when he spots Autumn in my arms.
“Autumn!” He’s reaching for her before he even comes to a complete stop. I let her go and begin to step back, but Autumn doesn’t move; she stays pressed against my chest, eyes squeezed shut, twisting her fingers in the cotton of my shirt.
Cody’s jaw clenches as he steps forward. “Come with me. I’ve got you now.”
“No,” she says, her lip trembling as she tightens her hold. “I want to stay here.”
He lays his hands on her shoulders and tugs. “It’s me, baby. I’m here now.”
I push him off as he gets more forceful. Cody slaps away my hand. “Don’t touch me.”
“That was only a warning. Need another?”
“Let me remind you who you’re talking you,” he says in a haughty voice that makes my fist twitch.
“We won’t have a problem if you respect your client’s wishes.”
“Well maybe if you were doing your job, this never would have happened!”
I cock my head to the side and stare at the fuming manager. “Walk away, Jensen.” Autumn’s arms tighten around me. “She’s not yours to control.”
>
Jensen’s glare could sizzle bacon. It must look pretty damning with Autumn clutched to my chest, but I’ve never cared what he thinks. Least of all now.
I wait for him to stomp off before turning my attention to the only person I do care about. “Let me take you back to the hotel.”
Autumn shakes her head. “I th-think I should go back to my fans. Calm them down… Show them I’m not afraid.” But she doesn’t move.
“Are you sure?”
She nods, but a few more seconds have ticked by before she finally loosens her grip on my waist. “You’ll be close by?”
I fight the urge to sweep a stray stand of hair off of her cheek. “Always.”
I watch Autumn greet her screaming fans with a mixture of pride and respect. She’s made of tougher stuff than she looks. And yet, as the imprint of her body against mine tingles my skin, I know I’ve never felt anything softer in my life.
Chapter 11
Bryce
This is more like it.
Autumn stands in the middle of a refurbished loft in Atlanta’s arts district surrounded by pop-up lights and reflective screens while a photographer scurries around her, barking orders and snapping pictures. She wears a fierce look as she confidently shifts her body to fit his commands. My eyes can’t help but follow the white stripe down the side of her cobalt blue leggings as they cling to Autumn’s long, toned legs. She looks strong and sexy as she models for the offbeat brand full of leather and denim.
Never Lose Passion reads the text printed on the black tank under her spike-studded denim jacket. Could be Autumn’s mantra.
“Perfect, perfect!” The photographer disappears behind his lens and shoots off a fusillade of rapid-fire shutter clicks. Autumn holds the pose, head thrown back, lips parted, eyes staring off vacantly, until the photographer straightens. “Done. Outfit change, please!”
A flurry of movement follows his request. A makeup artist, hairstylist, and fashion designer descend on Autumn, steering her toward the partition between the main loft area and her makeshift dressing room. Taking up a position outside of the partition, I scan the chaos in front of me. Designers and artists rush around the set, re-staging the shoot, while the photographer flips through his photos on a computer nearby.