The Rocky Road last night with Natalie was pretty damn good. Not to mention my snack drawer at work was filled with salty treats that most definitely weren’t approved by the regime.
Okay I’ll admit it. I felt better since I cut some of the junk from my diet and started exercising with him. My energy had skyrocketed and I was able to work off some of my stress from work and sexual tension from home.
I was healthier now in a lot of ways and I could feel it.
But fuck man. The daily jogs were brutal. I thought it would get easier with time like he promised but he just kept upping the ante.
I was starting to get the impression he was full of shit about it getting easier and just wanted someone to suffer with him. That’s where I came in.
Insert brother that didn’t have anything better to do than risk having his first ever asthma attack.
Okay fine. Maybe that was dramatic. But the sharp pain in my side when I breathe makes me wonder if I need medical attention. Max said I needed to practice better breathing techniques during the run.
Easier said than done.
I take one last gasp of air and start jogging across the street before he disappears from view around the front of the restaurant. I catch up fairly quickly and am pleased to find him out of breath too.
At least it wasn’t just me this time.
We’ve been running together for a while. At first I started out once a week. Our runs had grown longer and more frequent recently.
We were up to daily jogs every morning that stretched between one and two miles.
“What’s wrong, bro?” I taunt. “Too many bacon, egg and cheese burritos this week?”
“You know I don’t eat that shit anymore.” He snapped, resting his hands on his knees momentarily.
I smirk at his tone. It seems my little brother isn’t so gung-ho about his plan to cut all fried foods and starches now that he’s been without his beloved bacon, egg and cheese for a couple weeks.
Served him fucking right.
“Come on.” He opens the door and the bell chimes loudly. “Let’s get something to eat.”
We’re greeted by the cheery cashier as we make our way to the counter to pick our omelet ingredients. There are so many options to choose from but most aren’t justifiable if we’re cutting fats and starches.
I eye the bacon longingly. Max catches my eye and shoots me a glare so I pass it up. He does the same when I gaze at the cheese a moment too long.
I don’t even bother looking at the hash-browns listed as a side. Those were an obvious banned item.
He can be such a pain in my ass sometimes. Do little brothers ever get less aggravating?
“Fuck off.” I mumble under my breath.
I’m loud enough for him to hear me but not the cashier. The poor kid doesn’t need to be dragged into our calorie deprived argument.
“Can I help you?” He asks Max first.
He must look surer of himself than I do. After all, he has more practice cutting out all food that’s actually good so he doesn’t have to talk himself through the process.
I step back and let him lead the way.
“Egg whites, tomatoes and mushrooms.”
He refuses to look at the cheese and bacon and I know damn well that’s what he really wants. He’s just too stubborn to cave and admit this diet is excessive and stupid.
He has more willpower than I do but it has to be cracking. No one could avoid their temptations this adamantly when it was on display right in their face.
This shit may be healthy for the body but it sure as hell wasn’t good for the mind.
“And for you?” The cashier turns to me.
“Egg whites.” I order begrudgingly.
It leaves a bad taste in my mouth saying it.
What happened to the good old days when we had donuts every morning? Sure it was counterproductive after a run but I already gave up heroin and all forms of alcohol. Asking me to give up donuts and bacon was crossing the damn line.
“Tomatoes. Ham. And cheese.”
Max sighs and rolls his eyes at the last minute addition to my order but I pointedly ignore him. I’m getting the damn cheese and that’s final.
He better not say shit about me adding a coffee to my order either. The two mile run to get here earned it and I needed the caffeine boost to prepare me for the two mile run back.
We stand at the counter and watch the guy whip up our omelets. Both are fully cooked within minutes. We take our plates to a booth by the window overlooking Main Street and dig in as we watch cars drive past.
“You’re probably wondering why I’m so obsessed with this diet, huh?”
“Not really. I just figured you were turning into a fucking calorie Nazi. There’s a reason?”
“I’m asking Lacey to marry me this weekend. It’s making me crazy.”
He pulls out a small velvety box from his pocket and slides it over to me. I pop it open and find the sparkling diamond ring he picked out. It’s a simple design with a huge rock in the middle.
She was going to love it.
Honestly, Lacey would love anything my brother gave her. He could go to a pawn shop and find some plain tarnished band and she would still say yes with more enthusiasm than a kid on Christmas morning when he pops the question.
That’s how I knew they were perfect together. She loved the shit out of him no matter what gift he had to offer.
“Wow, bro. Congratulations.”
I don’t try to talk him out of it the way some brothers might. I’m genuinely happy for him and this proposal has been a long time coming. I’ve already accepted Lacey as a sister.
There was no way those two would split up after everything they’ve been through together. This was really the only possible outcome of their relationship. Not after I fought to get both of them to see the light when they broke up two years ago in a moment of sheer stupidity and stubbornness.
Who would have thought I would be the voice of reason, leading two love birds back to each other? I surprised even myself in that regard and it had all paid off.
They weren’t stupid enough to let each other go again.
Those two owed me big. And what did I get for my efforts? Put on a no donut, no ice cream, no fried pork chop diet.
“You think she’ll like it?”
“Hell yeah. Look at that rock.”
“You think she’ll say yes?” He asks nervously.
Toying with his fork, he pushes an untouched piece of omelet across his plate. Maybe that was because it was bland as fuck. I stab it with my fork and pop it in my mouth before I answer.
“First of all, this is disgusting. I don’t know how you eat this trash.” I wash it down with some coffee. “Second, she’s going to say yes. No, she’s going to say fuck yes and she’ll cry and it’ll be perfect and all that shit. She loves you man. I’m honestly surprised you waited this long to ask.”
“You are? I mean we’re still in school. What if she wants to wait until we graduate. What if she-”
“You worry way too much, little brother. She loves you. That’s all that matters. She won’t say no. So she might want to wait until you guys graduate next year to have a wedding.” I shrug. “You guys can just stay engaged a little longer if she wants to wait a bit. But she won’t say no. There’s no way.”
“When did you get so…”
“Wise?” I smirk, popping another bite of omelet in my mouth.
“Positive.” He corrects after searching for the right word.
I shrug and keep eating and he takes a deep breath.
“Thanks. I needed some sort of pep talk. I guess that’s why I wanted to come here this morning.”
“The donut shop was closer. Just saying.”
“It is. But if Lacey says yes I need to look good in my suit. And you need to look good in yours.”
I lift an eyebrow. “I always look good.”
He laughs at my cocky expression, shaking his head. “Will you be my best man? I kn
ow it’s a little early to ask. She has to say yes first.”
“She will.”
“There’s no one else I would want standing by my side.”
“Of course I will. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I stare across the table at him and swallow hard. Things were rocky between me and my brother for a couple years. It means a lot to me that he still wants a relationship with me after everything we went through together. Everything I put him through.
I was older. It was my job to protect him growing up. Natalie too. And I failed to protect both of them on so many occasions, in so many ways.
I tried. Honestly I did. But could I have tried harder? Probably. I spent a lot of time consumed with my own issues when I should have been worried more about them.
Yet they both still wanted me around for some unknown reason. I was determined to be deserving of the unquestionable, unconditional love from my brother and the faith and trust from Natalie.
I was determined to be deserving of being his best man.
And Natalie’s best friend.
Sharing an apartment alone with her for the past year and a half really strengthened our friendship. It deepened bond.
Other than my brother she was my best friend and I valued that above all else. There were many ways she knew me better than he did and that was really saying something.
“Well that’s settled.” He cleared his throat, fighting to lift the heaviness between us. “You ready to run back?”
I groaned and ate the last morsel of my omelet knowing I would need the protein to survive the next hour or so.
☠ Chapter Four ☠
Natalie
No one liked a slut.
No one except Lacey Griffin it seemed. She overlooked that part of my character and had become one of the closest friends in my life. Technically she was my only real friend except for Chris.
Couldn’t forget my midnight Rocky Road buddy.
Max is Lacey’s boyfriend and Chris’s younger brother. He’s also the reason I became such a slut in the first place.
I had long ago forgiven him for that. He had been so young at the time he pulled me into their dark and dangerous world.
Sixteen years old certainly wasn’t an age for making sound decisions. I should know. I made some piss poor decisions back then too and I had been a whole year older than him.
Although we had never talked about it I knew he feared his father as thoroughly as everyone else did. It was an unspoken fact like so many others things had been.
Fear was a bigger motivator than damn near anything else and Brad Davis generated fear in monumental proportions.
The fear of Brad’s wrath and evil nature had no exceptions. It touched everyone around. Including- no, especially- his two teenage sons.
It seemed Max hadn’t forgiven me of my indiscretions yet. The choices I made during that low point in my life loomed between us.
He probably never would forgive me and I can’t even say I blamed him. After trying to sleep with him behind Lacey’s back he had avoided me like I had some incurable, contagious disease.
Maybe he really thought I did. Again, couldn’t blame him.
But I didn’t have a disease, I didn’t want to fuck Max, and I regretted what I had done in my past more than I could ever express. There was no atonement for what I had done.
Lacey was the sweetest girl I knew and I was eternally grateful to him for turning me down that night. He practically ran from the room when I came on to him. At least one of us had a shred of sense and morals.
Granted, I hadn’t met Lacey yet. It was two years ago, before their dad’s arrest. Back when I was still using my sex appeal as a marketable talent to get what I wanted. And I wanted to forget who I was that night.
I didn’t know what an amazing friend Lacey would become. Or how deeply in love those two were. I was just trying to survive in a house of horrors.
I was lost. Hurting. Trying to make myself feel as if I was worth something more than some degrading words and two hundred bucks an hour.
Chris had been my one and only friend at that time in life. But he had disappeared from the house I was still trapped in.
Day in and day out I was essentially locked away unless I was escorted somewhere in public by a Davis. Only one Davis terrified the shit out of me but that didn’t mean I wanted to be treated like a child.
I had been lonely.
There was no one to turn to after Chris left. No one meeting me in our secret spot behind the house under the cover of darkness. Allowing me to be myself for a brief moment each night.
Hopelessness grew with each day that I hadn’t heard from him. For the first few days after he left I assumed he finally took my advice and left for good despite his promises that he wouldn’t leave town without me.
It turned out Chris had fled the house after stealing drugs from his dad. He contacted me not long after leaving to let me know what happened. He feared the repercussions of such a bold move and I feared for him more than I let on.
I saw firsthand what Brad did to people that fucked him over. Some of them didn’t live to tell the tale.
Chris texted me during his absence from random numbers I didn’t recognize. He even stopped by to check on me countless times during those long, lonely months when he knew his father wasn’t in the house.
It was selfish and dangerous that I felt warmed over him feeling compelled to check on my wellbeing despite his own concerns.
My wish that he had gotten away came crashing down. But selfishly I was happy. Happy he hadn’t left me behind.
I was searching for any shred of connection with another person that didn’t cheapen the experience by paying for it at the end. I tried to use the only thing I knew of that could make me feel better.
Sex.
Max never made me feel used. Never degraded me. It just wasn’t in his nature. He was genuinely nice and I latched onto that kindness like a damn leech.
Looking back on it I was disgusted with myself. But I didn’t have a lot to work with at the time as far as human contact went.
My year and a half of celibacy and self-reflection taught me that I probably always liked Max as a friend and ally. Nothing more. My hyper-sexual energy and painfully low self-esteem had me sexualizing that friendship from the beginning.
The same could probably be said of him given the life he had growing up. Before he met Lacey he had slept his way through all the girls in the house.
What could have been an ordinary, platonic friendship between us had been poisoned.
We were both two lost and hurt kids when we met. It was never love or anything remotely close to that. I never even fooled myself into thinking it was for a second. We distracted each other from the pain from time to time.
Just the same as Chris had done with his drugs and parade of bed partners.
The last couple years had proven to be a time of much needed self-reflection for all of us.
Max eventually found healing in Lacey. In a way, so did I. She saw past my pain, excuses, brash and sarcastic attitude and slutty clothes. She saw the hurt and lonely girl Max had dragged home from the teen club six years ago that just needed a place to stay.
The sexual relationship between him and I had meant nothing. Lacey could probably see that just as clearly as the rest of us could.
I had been like a stray dog having run away from home two weeks before meeting him. My mom’s new boyfriend moved into our house and snuck into my bedroom while I slept. Had tried to get handsy.
I wasn’t about to let that shit happen. Sex would be on my terms or not at all.
Or so I had thought when I packed my shit and left home the next day.
I didn’t blame Max for his part in changing the course of my life. But he still blamed me for nearly altering the course of his.
I could see that plain as day as he glared at me across the dinner table. That is, when he looked my way at all. On most days he simply avoided me but se
eing as there were only four people at their circular table it wasn’t possible. We sat right across from each other and that was the furthest two people could be in their tiny kitchen.
I avoided meeting his gaze too. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Or make Lacey uncomfortable. Or make my damn self uncomfortable. Because being around Max made me feel waves of guilt, regret and shame. He just reminded me of who I used to be and who I never wanted to become again.
Lacey had invited me and Chris to dinner tonight, a rare occurrence. When I tried to make excuses not to go Chris convinced me it would be a good idea to show up this time. It was strange for him to insist. He never tried to tell me what to do about anything and knew how awkward I felt around his brother given the history. I had told him countless times and he had been around to witness plenty of reasons for our dislike and avoidance of each other.
So I knew something had to be up.
When I asked why he thought I should go he just winked at me and told me I would see why tonight. I immediately knew what he meant when Lacey lifts her left hand to the middle of the table and squeals, a huge diamond sparkling on her ring finger.
“We’re engaged!”
Her giddiness is contagious and I suddenly forget to feel out of place and meek.
“Oh my god! Congratulations!” I screech. “It’s beautiful, Lace!”
And it really was. A large solitaire diamond with two smaller diamonds on a white gold band glistened under the kitchen light. My heart swelled with happiness for them both.
Chris’s knee accidentally bumped into mine under the table during my excitement. Awareness blanketed over us both as our warm skin pressed together. Neither of us makes a move to break the contact. I can see his expression and immediately know he feels something shift too.
It wasn’t just me this time.
That realization jumpstarts my heart. I never considered that he might feel something more than friendship for me. Never. He never hit on me or openly checked me out even when I wore so little I wasn’t fit to be seen in public. That’s how I often looked when he had to drive me to ‘jobs’ back in the day and his eyes always remained respectfully glued above the neck.
Flying High (Davis Brothers Book 2) Page 2