She felt his gaze on her every step of the way, but he didn’t say one word.
Good thing, too, because she wouldn’t have been able to answer him, not when she was having so much trouble holding back the sobs. She was definitely doing a lousy job holding back the tears, because they were streaming from her eyes like a waterfall.
Opening the door, she walked inside and shut it without looking back, slumping back against it in relief.
The sound of the four wheel drive engine came to her, the crunch of tyres on the gravel, and Adam was gone.
Sliding down the door, she started crying.
~*~
It was nightfall by the time Barbie got home. Tired, she unloaded the car, taking Barney and Fred in their carriers inside her half of the duplex she rented. Once she settled them with food and drink, and filled their litter tray, she went back out to the car and retrieved her suitcases.
She’d driven almost non-stop for twenty four hours since her confrontation with Adam. Unable to settle, feeling emotionally wrung out, she’d decided to gather all the jewellery she’d found, pack up the cats and her things, and come back to the city for a few days. While she had a break from Peeron and Adam, she could recharge her emotional batteries, have the jewellery valued by a jeweller and talk to an antique dealer she knew, hoping she could get him to come out, value, and maybe buy the stuff at the house which she didn’t want.
Unfortunately, it meant that she wouldn’t be home to let the painters and carpenters into the house, but that was too bad. Peeron might be a nice little town, and everyone might know everyone else, but that didn’t mean she trusted workers to go through the house while she wasn’t in residence.
Dropping the suitcases on her bed, she looked around her little room with relief. Through the wall next door she could faintly hear her neighbour’s TV, and the knowledge that she wasn’t alone in a huge house full of dust, peeling wallpaper, memories, and maybe ghosts, was a huge relief.
Weariness bit at her, but first she had a call to make. Picking up the phone, she dialled her sister’s phone number.
“Hello?” Melissa greeted.
“It’s me.”
“Barbs! How are you? How’re the renovations going?”
“Good. Good.” She hesitated. “Actually, I’m home here for a few days.”
“Really? When did you get back?”
“Just now, actually.”
Concern filtered through her sister’s voice. “Is everything all right?”
“Fine. Yes.” She bit her lip. “I just…can we meet tomorrow?”
“Meet? Barbie, what’s wrong? Do you need me there now? I-”
“No, no.” Hurriedly, Barbie cut her sister’s words off. “I just…I need to talk to you about something.”
“Well, sure, but I can come over now if you want.”
Barbie smiled. “You live on the other side of the city. It can wait until morning.”
“Okay.” Her sister didn’t sound convinced. “Are you coming here, or am I coming there?”
“Are you going to be alone tomorrow?”
“Bill will be at work, the kids at school, so yes.”
“I’ll see you about eleven then. Is eleven good?”
“Fine.” Melissa hesitated. “I’m worried now.”
Barbie laughed. “Don’t be. Trust me, it’s okay.”
“If you say so.”
“Would I lie to you?”
“Nope.”
Her sister said it so assuredly that Barbie felt like crying. “I love you, Mel, you know that, don’t you?”
“Oh God!” Melissa sounded almost frantic. “I’m coming over!”
“No!” Frantically, Barbie thought of a way to stop her sister. “You’ll spoil the surprise!”
“Oh my God, you’re pregnant?”
In the background Barbie could hear Bill’s startled exclamation and questions.
“No. Geez. Look, just settle down, Melissa. I have a surprise for you and want to have a talk, that’s all. Okay?”
“Okay.” Melissa still sounded dubious.
“Trust me, you’ll love the surprise.” Before her sister could start probing for information, Barbie said, “I’m going for a shower and then I’m hitting the sack. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Goodnight, then.”
Barbie hung up the phone, opened one of the suitcases and studied the container of jewellery. It wasn’t a lie, she did have a surprise for Melissa. She’d be delighted to see the jewellery and choose what she liked.
Unpacking the suitcases was done quickly, the dirty clothes put in the washing machine for the morning wash, the clean clothes packed away. The shower was bliss, and by the time she was lying in her bed, the sound of the city traffic outside her window, she was drifting off into a troubled sleep.
By the time she left the duplex at nine thirty, the washing was on the line, Barney and Fred were asleep on her bed, she’d greeted her neighbour, and had packed the jewellery safely in a cloth bag which she sat on the floor of the passenger side along with her handbag. Locking the doors after she got into the car, a habit she’d developed after seeing several car jacking attempts on the news, she pulled into the traffic and headed for the suburb in which her sister lived.
The traffic was congested and where she could, she used the back streets. Peeron didn’t have a lot of traffic and almost everyone waved to each other. Small town, close community. Very different to the city with its faceless masses, congestion, houses upon houses upon offices and shops. A concrete jungle in comparison to the countryside in and surrounding Peeron.
She rather suspected she might miss the country town when she left it for the final time. But meanwhile, she was here to get things rolling faster.
So saying, she pulled into the antique dealer she knew and went inside, carrying the bag of jewellery safely tucked into her handbag. It made it heavy but kept it out of sight, out of mind, for thieves.
Patrick was happy to see her, did the ‘air kiss’ on both cheeks, and enthused at the descriptions of what she had found in the old house. Unable to go out himself, he organised for one of his assistants to head out there as soon as she had returned to Peeron.
Satisfied with that finally sorted, she got back into the car and completed the trip to her sister’s house.
Pulling up in the driveway, she saw her parent’s car parked beside Melissa’s Holden. Darn. Not that she wasn’t glad to see them, it was just that she’d hoped to talk to her sister first.
She’d just have to put it off for another time. No hurry, she was going to be in the city for a few days yet.
Knocking on the door, she waited for Melissa to open it. When her sister did, Melissa whispered, “Sorry, they turned up about ten minutes ago. I couldn’t deny them entry.”
“Be a bit suspicious if you did.” Barbie laughed.
Her parents were delighted to see her, her Mum hugging her close, while her Dad, never one for a lot of show of affection, patted her shoulder.
“Diet Coke?” Melissa queried, bustling around with a kettle. “Hot drink?”
“Diet Coke, thanks.”
“No worries.” Popping the tab on a cold can, she handed it to Barbie. “Let me just finish telling Mum and Dad about Bill’s promotion, and then you can tell us everything about what you’ve done at Great Aunt Penny’s house.”
Seated at the table, Barbie listened as Melissa continued talking to her parents. Her Dad winked at her, her Mum smiled, and Melissa ruffled her hair as she walked past.
Gradually their voices dimmed as a well of emotion surged up inside Barbie. Her throat tightened, tears pricked her eyes, and grief almost threatened to crush her.
At first she didn’t register her Dad’s voice, didn’t feel her Mum taking her hand, but when she drew a deep, shuddering breath, trying to control her emotions to push down the sobs that suddenly, stupidly, threatened, she looked up and saw them watching her, concern and love so apparent in their faces, no judgement, jus
t total, loving acceptance, and she broke down.
Tears burst forth, wracking sobs that shook her so hard as all determination to remain calm dissolved.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” was all she could gasp out as her Dad eased her up and held her close, hugging her against him, smoothing her hair as he’d done all those years ago when she’d been a little girl and had fallen over and cut her knee for the hundredth time. Safe in his arms, she cried her heart out, all the time sobbing, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
They were there, her sister patting her back, her Mum kissing her cheek and telling her how much they loved her, her Dad just silently holding her and letting her cry into his shirt.
Between her sobs she managed to blurt out enough for them to know what she was crying about, and it was Melissa who took her next, rubbing her back like she did her kids when they were upset. “Oh, Barbie, you duffer.”
By the time her tears dried, she was exhausted, and it was her Mum who took her to the spare room for a lie down.
Lying on the bed, Barbie gazed up at her mother who sat beside her, smiling tenderly. “I’m so sorry, Mum.”
“We know.” Her Mum nodded. “Baby, we know. We’ve seen you change, grow, become a woman we’re proud of. We know how sorry you are.” Leaning down, she kissed her cheek. “You’ll always be our baby, Barbara.” Standing up, she walked to the door, stopping to smile at her over her shoulder.
“I love you, Mum,” Barbie whispered. “I love you all.”
“We know.” She closed the door behind her.
Closing her eyes, Barbie drifted into exhausted sleep.
When she awoke, she heard voices. Sitting up, she scrubbed at her face before standing and walking to the door. Placing her ear against it, she wondered if Bill was home. Bad enough that she’d broken down in front of her parents and Melissa, but she didn’t want Bill to see her heavy eyes, tear-stained cheeks, and wrinkled clothes.
The sound of a door shutting. Barbie glanced at her watch, surprised to find it was just after lunch time. Opening the door a crack, she peered out. Melissa was walking back into the kitchen, but everything else was quiet.
“Um…Mel?”
Her sister whipped around, her gaze worried. “Are you all right?”
“Ah - is anyone else here?”
“No, just you and me.”
“Okay.” Easing the door open, she bit her lip. “I’m just going to the bathroom to freshen up.”
Melissa nodded.
The mirror showed that she wasn’t far off her mental picture of herself. Grimacing, Barbie washed her face, using Melissa’s hairbrush to tidy her hair. There wasn’t much she could do about her blouse and pants, so she ran her hands down the front of them before taking a deep breath and leaving the bathroom.
In the kitchen her sister was sitting at the table, a mug of hot coffee filling the air with its scent. On the table directly opposite her stood a can of Diet Coke, the tab popped, condensation running down the sides.
Silently, Melissa watched as Barbie lowered herself into the chair. Taking several mouthfuls of the cold soft drink, Barbie closed her eyes and savoured it, grateful for the coldness that spilled down into her belly.
Lowering the can, she met her sister’s concerned gaze.
“I know you said you had a surprise for me,” Melissa said, “But geez, Barbie, I didn’t expect that.”
Barbie gave a small, embarrassed laugh. “That wasn’t the surprise.”
“So what was it?”
“Guilty conscious.”
“Yeah, we got that.” Melissa’s eyes softened. “Has this really been bothering you that much? All this time? Why did you never tell us? Tell me?”
“I - well, it hasn’t bothered me, as such. At least, I didn’t think it had.” Barbie sighed. “I thought I had come to terms with it.”
“We all came to terms with what happened a long time ago. Sis, you’ve changed so much since then, what caused this?”
Barbie bit her lip, dropped her gaze, fiddled with her bag which was still lying on the table. “Um…I met Adam.
“What?” Her sister was startled. “Adam?”
“Yeah. He was born in Peeron, did you know?”
“Yes.”
“He went back there.” Barbie cleared her throat. “After you both broke up the second time, he shifted around before going back to Peeron.”
Melissa waited silently, her gaze never shifting as she raised the mug to her lips and took a sip of coffee.
“Seeing him… It brought a lot of things back.” Barbie slid her fingers through the condensation on the outside of the drink can.
“Barbie,” Melissa said gently, “that’s in the past.”
“What I did to you, to Mum and Dad-”
“Twelve years ago things were horrible. Very horrible.”
Barbie sank a little lower in the chair. Geez, it was true, but still…
“But that was then,” Melissa continued. “This is now.”
“How come you never hated me?” Barbie looked at her.
“I thought I did back then. It took me a long time to get over what you did, but when Mum had her heart attack and I saw you turn your life around, so determined to be the exact opposite of what you were becoming, I realised that life had to go on. Life was too precious. I could waste time hating you, or I could make the best of life and move forward with you.” Melissa smiled. “We both moved forward.”
Barbie hesitated. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“You and Bill.”
Melissa nodded encouragingly.
“Do you think…do you think you and Adam…?”
“Me and Adam?” Melissa gave a laugh. “Oh no. Looking back, we had something, but sweetie, what I have with Bill is so much more.”
“Really?” She was so hopeful it was almost pathetic.
“Really. I don’t think Adam and I would have stayed together. Besides, look what I would have missed out on.” Melissa pointed to the family photo on the wall. “A magnificent man and two wonderful children. No, Bill is the man for me.” She looked at Barbie. “Adam was then, Bill is now, and I wouldn’t change Bill for Adam. Ever.”
“So I kind of did you a favour?”
Melissa paused.
“Okay, that’s nothing to smile about.” Barbie took a sip of Diet Coke. “Adam said you and he got back together, tried to make a go of it.”
“We tried, but too much had happened. It wasn’t the same. He was always angry that I’d doubted him, and I couldn’t explain.” Melissa shrugged. “It’s over. Done.”
“Do you ever think about it?”
“No.” Thoughtfully, Melissa ran her beaded necklace through her perfectly manicured fingers. “No, I don’t, actually.” She smiled “I have my family, my sexy husband, my two terrible kids. My life is perfect. There’s nothing in my past to draw my attention back to it.”
“That’s good. I’m so glad.” Barbie stared at the can in her hand.
Reaching over, Melissa tapped the back of her hand. “Look at me.”
Obediently, Barbie raised her eyes.
“You have to get over this,” Melissa told her gently but firmly. “You have a life. Adam has a life. You’re no longer a wild teenager, and he’s an older, wiser man. At least, I hope so. Barbie, move on.”
“I have. I do.” She took a deep breath. “It was just… I guess…”
“Seeing him brought it all up again?”
“Yes.”
“That’s because you’ve obviously been carrying around some guilt.”
“Guess so.”
Melissa looked seriously at her. “You’re the only one.”
Now that’s where her sister was wrong, but Barbie kept silent.
“Move on and stop lingering in the past.” Melissa cut her hand suddenly through the air. “It’s done, over. In the past.” She tapped her forefinger on the table briskly. “This is now , the future. Get with it, sister.”
Barbie couldn’t help it, she started laughing and Melissa joined in.
“For a big sister, you’re okay,” Barbie informed her.
“For a little sister, you’re a pain in the arse.” Melissa winked.
Barbie looked searchingly at her. “So we’re good?”
“Bet your arse.”
They smiled at each other for several seconds before Melissa raised one eyebrow. “Now, where’s my surprise?”
More relaxed and happier than she could remember, Barbie reached for her handbag, pulling out the cloth bag that was snugly sitting inside. Drawing it out, she opened it up and carefully poured the contents out onto the table.
“Great Aunt Penny’s jewels,” she explained when Melissa gasped in delight. “Or at least, I guess they’re all hers. These I found while going through the bedrooms at the old house.”
“Wow.” Melissa picked up a necklace. “These are so old-fashioned.”
“I know.”
“What are you going to do with them?”
“I took some pieces, and I thought you and Mum might want to take what you like before I go to the antique dealer and sell them.”
“Really?” Melissa smiled in pleasure.
“Yep.” Picking up a pair of jet black dangling earrings, Barbie held them up. “Take what you like, and then I’ll go around to Mum’s and see what she wants.”
“This is like Christmas all over again.”
Chapter 5
Beside the patrol car, Lori stood in her usual quiet fashion, fuelling the car, minding her business, doing her job. Not saying a word.
Not one damned word.
From where he was leaning back against the side of the patrol car, Adam glanced sideways at her.
Nope, Lori Mackay always minded her business. Working in the only service station in town, she was in a prime position to know just about everything going on with everybody. Everyone called in here to fuel up, chat while they were at it, pick up a cold drink or a bit of fast food. He knew for a fact that Lori knew a lot about things happening in town, but did she say anything to anyone? Nope.
Adam's Thorn Page 12