The suffocating air pressed in on her. She had to get out of there. As Noah answered the question, she bolted from the courtroom. The urge to keep running inundated her, but she settled herself on a bench outside in the corridor in an alcove away from prying eyes. She’d had her share of notoriety.
* * *
The silence in her car on the long ride home after the trial eroded Cara’s shored-up defenses. The jury hadn’t deliberated for long. The three young men had been found not guilty. Their cocky looks were imprinted on her mind forever. The celebration among their supporters and friends had started immediately and driven home whom the jury believed.
As she, Noah and Adam had left the courthouse, a mob of reporters had swamped them, wanting their statements. There had been no words to describe how she felt. Numb wasn’t strong enough—in fact, it wasn’t even close.
All she wanted to do was hold Timothy, then later cry until there were no more tears left. She didn’t even have any energy to deal with Noah and the shock he must be experiencing after what he discovered about her in the courtroom today.
Why couldn’t that part of her life stay in the past?
Noah drove through the opened gates and parked in his garage. Adam fled from the backseat the second Noah turned off the engine. Gripping the handle, Cara intended to leave and repair the damages to her emotions before talking to Noah.
“Last night when I was pouring my heart out to you, did you even think about telling me about Timothy?” Hurt made Noah’s words even chillier.
“The time wasn’t right,” was all she could think of to say. She just wanted to escape, as fast as Adam had, and try to make sense of the situation before explaining anything to Noah or anyone else.
“When would the time have been right?” he whispered, his voice raw.
Her eyes filled with tears she didn’t want to release in front of him. She thrust open the door and scrambled from the car. “I don’t know.” Then she hurried from the garage.
Wet tracks streamed down her face as she ran toward the cottage. When she glanced back at the door into the guesthouse, she caught a glimpse of Noah on the deck. Darkness crept close as night approached. She was glad she couldn’t see his expression. Today she’d seen enough people’s low opinion of her in their faces.
Inside Laura sat on the couch reading a book. As Cara closed the door, her friend looked up. “I heard about the verdict. I’m so sorry.”
Cara fluttered her hand in the air. “That’s behind me. I’m not giving it any more of my time.”
“Really?” Laura closed her paperback and laid it on the couch.
“Well, just as soon as I can get it behind me, I will keep it there. Is Timothy asleep already?”
“He played some this afternoon with Lindsay and Rusty when they came home from school, but it tired him out.”
“Is he all right?” Cara strode toward her son’s bedroom.
“He’s fine. Remember he didn’t get any sleep last night,” Laura called from the living room.
Cara opened the door and peered in. He’d kicked the blanket off and one leg hung off the bed. She crossed to him and gently placed it upon the mattress, then brought the sheet up to cover him. She stood back and studied her son, trying to determine whom he looked like. Right after he was born, she’d done that a lot, but never could decide. Her parents had insisted he was the spitting image of her at that age.
Her son would never know his real dad and his adopted one was dead. She would have to be both mother and father for him now. Staring down at him, she knew what she had to do. She would give Noah her notice. She had to leave to protect not only herself, but mostly her son. How could she subject him to the ridicule the publicity would cause? Her whole sordid past was public knowledge.
Leaning over, she kissed him on the forehead, then tiptoed from the room. Some good could come out of bad. Timothy was proof of that.
Back in the living room she sat across from Laura in a chair. “I’m going to my parents. I may not stay long, but I can’t stay here any longer. I’m giving Noah my notice. I hope he’ll want us to leave as soon as possible.”
“What about school?”
“Tomorrow is the last day. Hopefully no one will say anything to Timothy, and I know he’ll want to tell all his friends goodbye.”
“Why are you really running away?”
Cara frowned. “What do you mean? You heard what happened in the courtroom. In no time, everyone will have heard.”
“Do you think you’re the first person to have made a mistake?”
“No, but—”
“No one is perfect. Jesus was the only one who walked this earth who was perfect.”
Cara shot to her feet. “I won’t put my son through the snickering and name-calling. I won’t—”
“You love Noah.”
Cara paced across the room, then spun around, her hands clenched. “Yes. I did exactly what you warned me not to do. And you are right. Noah Maxwell doesn’t fall in love. He doesn’t want anyone in his life permanently.”
“He told you that?”
“Let me put it this way, he has not confessed his undying love for me. In fact, if you could have seen his face in court when he heard about Timothy, you would say he hates me.”
“Has he told you that?”
“Well, no. Noah has more class than that. In the car coming back here, he managed to cover up his disgust with his usual unreadable expression.” Cara finished her trek to the sink and turned on the cold tap water. “Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I need to go home, but you and I will talk again before you leave.” Laura strode to her and hugged her. “You need to get a good night’s sleep and then think about what you are going to do tomorrow. You should never make an important decision when you’re exhausted.”
Cara followed her friend to the door. As Laura left, Cara checked the deck. It was empty and the light was on in Noah’s bedroom.
Why had she fallen in love with the impossible?
* * *
“Bye. Have fun the last day of school.” On Noah’s front porch, Cara waved to the children as they headed toward their bus stop.
Noah stood silent behind her. He’d said little through breakfast except when the kids asked him something. The moment was here. Before he left for work, she needed to tell him her decision to leave.
Swinging around, she inhaled a deep breath, prepared to launch into her spiel. He was gone. She hadn’t even heard him open and close the door.
Quickly she moved into the house and found him in his study, gathering papers and stuffing them into a briefcase. She leaned against the jamb, hugging her arms to her. “I want to give my notice.”
Noah paused in midaction. “Why?”
“I’ve decided to go to my parents for the summer. Timothy hasn’t seen his grandparents in almost a year.”
“So you’re letting those guys run you out of town.”
The steel behind his words cut through her. “It’s for the best. I’ll stay for a few weeks if you want, but I’d prefer to leave as soon as possible.”
“What about Adam, Rusty and Lindsay?”
“I’ll talk to them tonight and explain. If I stay, my past might affect them. I don’t want to hurt them.” She thought of the article on the front page of the newspaper this morning, detailing the events of the trial, and the fact that Noah had to take his phone off the hook to keep reporters from bothering them. Yes, the interest in her would eventually die down, but the damage would have been done.
“How am I supposed to find a housekeeper in such a short time?”
“Laura will help. There are several good agencies in town. The kids can stay with her during the day until you get a good one. Maybe a foster family will become available soon, then they will be out of your hair.”
Noah flinched as if she had slapped him. “I thought you cared about what happened to them.”
The barb punched her in the stomach. “I do, but I have to thin
k of my son first.”
“Have you told him about what was revealed at the trial?”
“Not yet. He was asleep when I got home last night and this morning he was slow getting ready for school. I will when he gets home.”
“What if he hears about it at school?”
“I’m praying he doesn’t.”
“So after all that has happened, your faith is still strong?”
“Yes.” Her belief was the only thing that had sustained her last night when she wanted to break down. She’d prayed to the Lord, trying to make sense out of the fact her mistake had resurfaced now. Then she remembered that, although God forgave us our sins, there were still consequences for our actions. God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. She would pull herself together and go on with His help.
A calm seeped into her until Noah broke the silence. “You come into my life and turn it upside down and just like that—” he snapped his fingers “—you walk away.”
His harsh condemnation ripped through her, buckling her knees.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Noah’s hands shook as he continued stuffing papers into his briefcase. “I appreciate you giving me notice, but by all means leave whenever you want. I’ll call Laura and work something out.”
Cara gripped the doorjamb. “I’m sorry about everything. I didn’t mean for things to happen this way.”
“Just make sure you tell the kids. They won’t understand you suddenly being gone.”
Because I don’t. His own past loomed before him. He remembered his mother had been there when he’d gone to school in the morning and hadn’t been when he’d come home. No goodbye. Nothing. Focusing on Whitney, who was only one when their mother left, was the only thing that had helped him get over his mom’s abandonment—or so he had thought.
He was seven years old again, standing in the middle of the living room, holding a note from his mother that he couldn’t read. He’d gone next door and had his neighbor tell him what it said. A myriad of emotions had bombarded him from anger to hurt to numbness. That was how he felt now.
He clutched his briefcase and headed toward the door, having to brush past Cara, so close her vanilla scent taunted him. Suddenly reminded of that time in the gazebo when he had kissed her, he nearly stumbled. Catching himself, he hurried from the house before he begged her to stay.
Better for her to be gone now than later. Before he fell—who was he kidding? He was in love with Cara. Probably had been for quite some time.
Noah slipped behind the steering wheel, stuck the key in the ignition but didn’t turn the engine on. Staring out the windshield at the white wall of his garage, he couldn’t believe after all these years carefully protecting himself from getting hurt again that he had given his heart away and she had crushed it.
Yesterday at the trial when he had discovered the truth about Timothy, at first he had been upset because he had wanted Cara to tell him. He had wanted her to trust him enough with the truth. The fact she hadn’t had sucker punched him.
But last night as he’d read his Bible about forgiveness and judging others, he’d realized that Cara would have told him when she was ready if it hadn’t been for the trial. He’d intended to talk to her after the children left for school, but she had dropped her bomb about leaving. What he had to say to her wasn’t important anymore. If she didn’t want to stay and help with the kids, see where their relationship would go, then he wanted to cut his losses now.
His gut twisted in a huge knot, Noah laid his forehead against the steering wheel. He had survived his mother and father leaving him; he would survive this, too. Somehow. Lord, with Your help.
* * *
I hate you, Mom. Why are we going away? I don’t want to.
Timothy’s words haunted Cara through the night. She rolled over in bed and punched her pillow. Over and over. But sleep evaded her.
Finally at six in the morning on Saturday she threw back the covers and got out of bed. She hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain why Tim had adopted Timothy. Her son had run from the room and gone to Noah’s house to see Rusty.
Well, today she intended to talk with her son and then the other children because she wanted to be on the road on Monday for Flagstaff.
Yesterday Noah hadn’t come home until it was late and she was in the cottage. Part of her had been disappointed. Truthfully the less she saw of him, the better she would be. It was hard enough loving him and not having him return those feelings. Pain pierced through her heart as though it were cracking in half.
She shuffled to the closet and selected a pair of jeans and a T-shirt to wear. She’d never been in love before and that was part of the reason—actually most of the reason—her marriage to Tim had failed. He had loved her and she could never return it as he wanted her to. Yes, she cared for him. Yes, she thought of him as a good friend. But that hadn’t been enough to hold their fragile marriage together. Slowly over the years Tim had grown to resent her lack of love even though he had insisted he didn’t care when they had married for Timothy’s sake.
After donning her clothes, she went across the hall to check on her son. When she opened his door and spied his empty bed, panic took root. She went through the cottage and discovered it was as empty as the bed.
Trembling, fear mingling with panic, she hurried toward the main house. He probably got up early and had made plans with Rusty to play, get in as much as they could before they left for her parents’.
But when she entered Noah’s place, quiet greeted her as if everyone was still asleep. She took the stairs two at a time and eased Rusty’s bedroom door open. His bed was empty, too. Her panic burgeoned. Not again. Had they all run away?
She quickly checked Lindsay’s and Adam’s rooms and found them still sleeping. Rushing down the steps to the first floor, intending to search every room, she collided with Noah coming out of the kitchen, his hair tousled, a day’s growth of beard on his face, an exhausted look in his eyes as if he had been up most of the night, too.
As he steadied her, surprise flittered across his features until they settled into that impenetrable expression she’d seen too much lately. “Why are you here so early?” His gaze drilled into her. “What’s wrong? Did Timothy have another asthma attack?”
She shook her head, aware Noah’s hands still grasped her arms. “Timothy and Rusty aren’t in their rooms. I can’t find my son!”
Everything came crashing down around her. Nothing was working the way she had planned. He studied her for a few seconds, his countenance taking on an emotion: concern. Dragging her against him, he embraced her.
“They’re probably someplace around here. We’ll take a look. It’s not easy for them to get off the property and no one has opened the gate.”
The calm in his voice soothed her panic until she remembered how angry Timothy had been with her last night. “He was so upset when I told him about leaving and that Tim wasn’t his real father but had adopted him. I’ve never seen him like that. All I wanted to do was protect him.”
“From what?”
“From all that has happened recently. From the kind of people who protested for those ballplayers. From being hurt any more because of what I did. And all of that was for nothing. The men got off scot-free.” Cara looked up into Noah’s face.
“You didn’t see the news last night?”
“No.”
“A young college woman has come forward to file charges against Jake, Brent and Jeremy. According to her, they actually did to her what they would have done to you if they had gotten you into their car.”
“Why didn’t she say anything earlier?”
“She was afraid, but after seeing what happened to you, she’s decided they need to pay for what they have done. Let’s find the kids then we’ll talk some more. Okay?”
She nodded, a ray of hope bursting through the gloom shrouding her. “I’ll take this half of the house and the garage, too.”
After Cara searched the living,
dining and utility rooms, she went out into the garage and came to a halt a few feet from the door. A white SUV was parked in the space where Noah’s sports car had always sat. Seeing the new vehicle confirmed in her mind that Adam, Rusty and Lindsay would be all right once she left. Noah made a commitment to be their foster parent even after knowing she was leaving.
She quickly skirted the SUV, checked the three-car garage, and then met Noah in the kitchen. “Nothing.”
“I didn’t find anything, either. Let’s take a look outside. You can look around the pool and the cabana while I check the gazebo and pond area and the tree house.”
“It’s not finished.”
“That might be the lure for two boys.”
Again Cara found neither Timothy nor Rusty. Her optimism dimmed as she made her way toward the tree fort. Noah climbed the wooden ladder that led to the multileveled platforms, the only part constructed.
Noah peered over the side of the highest flooring. “They’re up here.”
From the ground Cara couldn’t see anyone. She hurried toward the coral tree’s trunk. “I’m coming up.”
Not particularly fond of heights, she carefully ascended into the top of the branches. Timothy and Rusty sat cross-legged on the planks, a mutinous expression on their faces, blankets and pillows behind them. She crawled toward the center, trying not to think how far up she was.
“How long have you two been up here?” she asked, kneeling next to Noah.
Timothy jutted his chin out. “All night.”
“All night! You climbed up here in the dark?”
Rusty held up a flashlight. “We used this.”
“We slept up here, Mom.”
“What if you had rolled off during the night? Did you two think about that?”
Timothy and Rusty stared at each other, the fact they hadn’t considered that dawning on their faces. Their eyes grew round. Rusty eased over to the side and looked down, then whistled.
“Timothy, you go back to the cottage. You and I will talk in a minute.”
Family Ever After Page 17