by Jo Beverley
If he hadn’t sold his commission, he’d be tempted to abandon his invasion of the ton and take over. But the army didn’t work like that, and there was never any point in trying to turn the clock back.
He put the flute back to his lips and determinedly played “Jolly Jenny.”
His door opened so forcefully that it banged against a chest of drawers.
“Tootling in the gloom, Canem? Can’t have that.” Foxstall staggered in, taking most of the weight of a very drunk Pup.
Darien lowered the flute. “What the devil are you doing?”
“Bringing your pup home. He cast up his accounts in your hall.”
“How did you get in?”
“Pup has a key.”
So he did, dammit.
Even Foxstall had trouble steering the wobbly mass to the sofa. When he dropped him there, the spindle-legged sofa shuddered.
“Why bring him in here?” Darien demanded.
“Don’t know which is his room, and he’s not saying. Besides, strange goings-on to bring a man into your house and not say a word to you.” Foxstall blew out a breath. “Need to wet my whistle after that.” He grabbed the decanter, then frowned. “Ring for more, old fellow.”
“The servants are in bed.”
Foxstall put down the decanter with a thump. “Can this be Canem Cave, this dull, tootling wretch?”
“Responsibilities weigh upon a man. Where did you find Pup? Not at Lady Wraybourne’s, I assume.”
“The luscious Miss Debenham stirred my juices but balked at going further, so I went on to Violet Vane’s.”
“What-ho!” Pup came vaguely to life. He grinned glassily around. “That you, Can’m? Bit foxed. Plenty t’drink at Vane’s.”
“For those with money,” Darien said. “It’s a bad place, Pup.”
“Have money. Have lots of money. Should ’a’ come, Can. Little redhead. Shweet as shweet. And the black-haired one. Rolled her merrily.” His lids fell. “I think…” He sank back into slack-jawed sleep.
“I assume he paid,” Darien said.
“Why not? Come on, if he wants to be a big bad boy like us, he can bloody well pay for the privilege. When I finished with my whore, he was rolling drunk and ready to toss up his accounts, so La Vane demanded I remove him. Act of Christian kindness, given that he’s a moonling.”
“Not quite so bad as that.”
“Is he not? Devil only knows how he survived the war. Less sense of self-preservation than a ball fired from a cannon.”
“Or a pig.”
“What?”
Darien shook his head. “Just a memory.”
“You fired a pig from a cannon? I never heard of it. Damn waste of pork.”
Darien didn’t try to explain.
“Why the devil couldn’t I have a godfather who’d leave me his all?” Foxstall complained, kicking Pup’s hanging boot. “Mine’s a vicar with five children.”
“Stop that.”
Their eyes clashed. “You’re in a damn funny mood, Canem.”
“Having one’s house invaded will do that.”
“Bringing Pup home, that’s all.” Foxstall ranged the room, touching things dismissively. “I’d live better than this if I were a viscount. Surprised to see you at that choral do, but I suppose you have to grovel to the hostesses. Campaign going well?”
Darien had discussed his plans with Foxstall a bit once. That might prove to be another mistake. “Yes.”
He could resort to force to get rid of Foxstall, but it hardly seemed worth it. Without women or drink, he’d soon leave.
“Noticed you weren’t exactly welcomed yet,” Foxstall said with a touch of a sneer.
“Early days. I’m still testing the waters.”
“You can dip your toes in River Ton as often as you like—the ice’ll never thaw.”
“I have the Debenhams in my grasp.”
Foxstall sniggered. “You certainly had the young one. Juicy piece, if not exactly on warm terms.”
Darien’s jaw tensed, but he only said, “Spying on me, Matt?”
“Just seeking your company. You think you can make any headway there? Forlorn hope—unlike her jolly cousin.”
“Leave Miss Debenham alone.”
“Not under your orders anymore, and Miss Debenham doesn’t want to be left alone, I assure you. I’d think she’d have a pretty dowry, wouldn’t you? But her cousin’s will be grander.”
Darien sent him a warning look, but instead of backing off, Foxstall laughed. “Thought so! Is it a dark and devious plan or are you smitten?”
The desire to commit murder burned, but this was a fuse better extinguished with cold water. “Plan, of course. She’s hardly my type.”
“Tight-mouthed virgin,” Foxstall agreed.
“Enough.”Darien put away the flute before he broke it.
This time Foxstall took the warning. “I wish you well of her, but it’ll never happen. You resemble your brother too much.”
“Marcus?” Darien looked at Foxstall with true surprise. “I damn well don’t.”
“That’s what people were saying tonight. Thought I’d give you a friendly word of warning. Now, friend, lend me some money.”
Still digesting Foxstall’s words, Darien said, “How much?”
“Three thousand.”
Darien stared at him. “Why?”
“Pugh took pneumonia and died. I can get the majority if I can find the money.”
When Darien had been selling out, Foxstall had hinted for a loan that would really have been a gift. At that time, Darien had assumed there’d be little money in the family’s coffers, but he wouldn’t have done it anyway. Fox in peacetime was a powder keg ready to explode. Now the regiment was off to India, where there’d be more action. But Darien trusted Foxstall even less, and this was Canem’s Curs they were talking about.
“Sorry, can’t do it.”
“Dammit, Canem, we’ve always shared and shared alike.”
“We shared the price of a jug of wine or a whore.”
“And this means about as much to you now. You’re rolling in it!”
“Establishing oneself in society is expensive.”
“I see,” Foxstall said, and perhaps he did.
Darien tried to soften it. “Think of India. Nabobs, rubies, and harems.”
“I make a bad enemy, Canem.”
Darien met his eyes. “I make a worse one. Keep away from the Debenhams.”
“I’ll do what I damn well please.” Foxstall slammed the door when he left.
Darien let out a breath. Matt Foxstall had never truly been a friend. He’d shared no secrets with him, sought no solace. They’d simply drank, whored, and fought. Above all fought, and with a wild brilliant fury that lingered finely in the mind. But everything was different now.
All the same, he didn’t have so many friends that he shrugged at the loss of one.
He raised the flute and tried the merry jig again, but it had no effect on the dark. And the dark was his foul, pox-ridden brother. He damn well didn’t resemble Marcus. They had the same coloring, certainly, but they were completely unalike. His last memory of Marcus was of a cankered, bloated brute.
But what had he been like before the pox ravaged him?
Marcus had been thirteen when Darien had been born and he’d been living a bawdy man’s life before Darien had any memory of him. Marcus, thank God, had preferred to live in London because their father had let him run wild there, but he’d returned to Stours Court too often for anyone’s comfort.
Darien surged to his feet and went to the mirror, bracing himself stiff-armed on the dressing table as he stared at his features, distorted by candlelight and the poor quality of the mirror. Perhaps the light and distortion revealed something.
Same dark hair growing up from the high forehead. Same dark eyes with heavy lids. Same slightly olive cast to the skin. Under Spanish sun, he’d turned as dark as the natives while others had burned.
Same cruelty?
No, but Darien recognized that the scars on his face suggested it, and perhaps something stamped there by the worst aspects of war.
Damn Marcus. But that was superfluous. If ever a man was in the lowest depths of hell, it was Marcus Aurelius Cave.
No wonder the ton shrank from this face. No wonder Thea Debenham shuddered at his touch. And Frank, Frank of the pure spirits and generous smile, he had the look, too. On him, dark hair and eyes gave the look of an angel, but would the supercilious, suspicious ton care?
He grabbed his scabbarded saber and smashed the pommel into the mirror, shattering the image.
Behind him, Pup mumbled, “Bad luck that, Canem. Seven yearsh of it….”
Darien whirled, weapon sliding from the sheath—but Pup was snoring again with the look of a dyspeptic cherub.
He rammed the blade back home and carefully put down the sword. He moved the candle to the floor and gathered the shards of glass. Once he was certain he’d found every glinting bit, he put them in a bowl for later disposal.
He looked at Pup, anger still simmering, at him, at Marcus, at the ton, at the whole bloody torture of fate. But what was the point? The past could not be undone, and some pasts would not be forgotten.
A scar remained a scar.
An amputated limb couldn’t be regrown.
A moonling wouldn’t become a man of sense.
And a Cave would forever be a vile outcast.
He took the colorful blanket from his bed and laid it over the snoring young man.
Canem’s Pup—an object of fun, but Percival Arthur Uppington came from a family of modest but impeccable reputation and thus had a better chance of being accepted by the haut ton than any Cave ever would. A better chance, even, of winning the hand and heart of Lady Theodosia Debenham.
He froze. She was simply a means to an end.
He caught sight of his saber, which had so often run with blood. It was still sharp, still able to cleave a man’s head in two with one blow. If a bit of bad news made him draw the blade, it had better be out of sight before the next installment arrived.
He buried it deep in his wooden chest and turned the key in the lock, trying to lock away memories and dreams as well.
Chapter 18
Darien woke with a start to a strange rumble, thinkingGhost! , but then realized it was only Pup snoring on his sofa. He lay back to allow his heart rate to settle, and remembered the details of the previous night.
The glorious harmonies of the choirboys.
The company of friends.
An angry goddess, a cunning Fox, and the cloaked disgust of people who saw Mad Marcus Cave back in their midst.
He was tempted to give up. None of that. He surged out of bed, dressed without assistance and without waking Pup, and then headed off for his morning ride. As he walked to the stables, tranquil morning air relaxed him and stirred hope. He’d made remarkable progress in only a few days, and tonight he would be guest of honor at a special dinner hosted by the duchess.
Morning was like that—fodder for hope. He rarely drank the night away because it stole morning.
All too many days had progressed to dirt, blood, and violence, however, and there was nothing so melancholy as dawn rising over a field of death, light touching men who would never again rouse from sleep.
He shook off such memories, but he knew this limpid morning would march steadily into a noisy afternoon and on to a hot, crowded evening in the poisoned thicket he’d chosen to hack through—
Gads, he’d be slitting his own throat soon.
He approached Cerberus’s box, then paused to listen.
Someone was in there.
There had been some petty vandalism of his part of the stables, but if anyone had hurt Cerb…
He reached the box and looked in over the half door. A pale face turned to him, black patch over one eye. Then the mouth split into a gap-toothed smile.
“’Morning, Major,” the man said in a Welsh lilt. “Didn’t expect you up so soon.”
Darien unlatched the door and went in. Cerberus turned its head in slight acknowledgment, but the horse was enjoying a thorough brushing too much to stir.
“What are you doing?” Darien asked Nid Crofter. The wiry, almost bald man had been one of the greatest rascals in Canem’s Curs, but where it mattered, he’d been honest. Turned horse thief now?
Nid kept on brushing. “Visiting Cerberus, sir. For old time’s sake, you might say.”
Darien leaned back against a post. “Thought you couldn’t wait to get back to your village. In Brecknockshire, isn’t it?”
“That’s right, sir, and good of you to remember. I did go back there, sir, true enough, but things change, don’t they?”
“Some things are damnably permanent. Not suited to country life?”
“No interest in working in a mine, Major.”
“It’s Lord Darien now.”
“So I gather, Major. Very nice, I’m sure.”
“A pain in the arse, actually. Broke?”
Crofter shot him a glance. “Not as such, sir, no. But employment’s hard to come by, and that’s the truth.”
Darien considered, but only for a moment. Nid had always been good with horses. “There’s not much work in it, but you can be my groom if you wish.”
Crofter grinned. “Very good, sir.”
“Then wake him up and get him saddled.”
Crofter bustled about, clearly having already explored the place.
“Sleep here last night?” Darien asked.
A sliding look. “Seemed someone should look after things. There’s a decent space above.”
“Very well. You’ll eat in the kitchen. My staff is minimal and taciturn, but perhaps they’ll be friendlier to you. Given you only have Cerberus to take care of, help out in other ways if you’re asked.”
Crofter slung the saddle onto Cerberus’s back. “Very good, sir.”
“And if you filch anything, you’re out on your ear.”
“I’d never touch a thread from your coat, sir! God’s honest truth.”
Darien checked the horse himself, and then swung on. “Welcome to the Cave domain, Crofter. I hope you don’t regret it.”
That big grin again. “I’m sure I won’t, milord.”
Darien rode out, hoping that was true.
He turned toward Green Park, wondering if he was a benefactor or a gullible fool. He was perfectly aware that someone actually wanting to work for him, the prospect of a cheerful greeting every day, had been like bait. He was probably a fool, but war teaches a man to grasp whatever pleasures come to hand and they’d been thin lately.
When a man pushing a barrow of vegetables called, “A fine morning to you, sir!” Darien echoed it back.
Another person in London who didn’t shrink from him. There were probably thousands, but not in the quarters where he chose to live.
No one was forcing him to bludgeon his way in where he wasn’t welcome. Perhaps even Frank wasn’t worth this. But it wasn’t only Frank. He wanted a normal life for himself. He was Viscount Darien, and nothing short of death could change that. The title brought responsibilities from properties to duties, such as his seat in the House of Lords. One day soon he’d have to brave that lion pit. His nature didn’t allow him to turn his back on his responsibilities.
As he rode along, he tried to imagine what a normal life might be.
A comfortable home for a start. Instead, he had Stours Court, Greenshaw, and a scrap of land in Ireland. And Cave House, God help him. If he didn’t live in it, who would?
A jangling bell alerted him to a milkmaid leading her cow and goat down Park Lane, crying her wares. On impulse, he halted and requested some milk. The sturdy woman—wife, not maid, he was sure—worked the cow’s udders to fill a frothing bowl and gave it to him. He drank the rich, warm, sweet liquid. Was it delicious because it reminded a person of mother’s milk?
If so, it wasn’t his own mother’s. She’d never fed any of her children. They�
��d all been given into the care of a local family with a child of a similar age until old enough to wean.
In a fairy story, he would have a devoted foster brother who’d shared the milk, but he’d suckled the milk intended for a stillborn Lagman child. He had some faint memories of kindness there, but they could be wishful dreams. They’d certainly never tried to protect him from his family.