by Dee Garcia
Copyright 2018 © Dee Garcia
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organizations or places is entirely coincidental.
All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the reader of this ebook ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
Editing: All About The Edits
Cover Design & Formatting:
Decadent Designs by Dee
Dead or Alive Part One is the second installment in The Scarsi Family Series. It is not a standalone and should be read after X-394. Due to profane language, sexually explicit situations, displays of graphic violence, and some scenes that may cause distress or emotional triggers, this book is intended for mature audiences only.
Contents
Dedication
Playlist
Read Me
Opening Quote
Recap
1. Fugitivies
2. Seal of Approval
3. The Truth Hurts
4. Line of Fire
5. HER
6. And So It Begins…
7. Echoes in the Cavern
8. Smooth Talker
9. Greetings from Paradise
10. Brugal and Bachata
11. On Edge
12. Royal Flush
13. Solitude
14. Christmas in Paradise
15. Not-So-Happy-New Year
16. Bloody Hell
17. Anonymous
18. Take Me to Camden
19. Gray Zone
20. I’m Sorry
21. Mindfuck
22. Daddy Royce
23. Coming to Terms
24. Truce
25. Homecoming
Sneak Peek
About the Author
Dee Garcia Books
This one is for you, Jenn.
Because no one in the world loves Xander as much as you.
#MrsXanderRoyceForever
Puerto Rico
Die Trying - Michl
The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez
2U - David Guetta and Justin Bieber
Escapate Conmigo - Wisin and Ozuna
Not a Crime - Play-N-Skillz and Daddy Yankee
Dembow - Danny Ocean
La Gozadera - Gente De Zona and Marc Anthony
The Devil Within - Digital Daggers
The Dominican Republic
Be There - Krewella
Stand by Me - Prince Royce
Un Beso - Aventura
Te Quiero Igual Que Ayer - Monchy y Alexandra
Tu y Yo - Toby Love
Slow Down Love - Louis The Child and Chelsea Cutler
The Bahamas
No Letting Go - Wayne Wonder
Love U Baby - Vybz Kartel
Don’t You Know - Isasha
Sweat - Cash Cash feat. Jenna Andrews
Electric - Alina Baraz feat. Khalid
The United Kingdom
Dusk Till Dawn - ZAYN and Sia
Down in Flames - Ella Vos
Easily - Bruno Mars
Need - Savon
Coming Home - Diddy ft. Dirty Money and Skylar Grey
Follow this playlist on Spotify—> Here
Before we get started, I wanted to remind you that this book is only Part One of Dead or Alive. They are two halves of the same whole.
When you flip the last page, you will most likely be angry with me. You’ll feel short-changed, you’ll want more. There will be many questions you seek answers to.
That’s what Part Two is for.
I separated them with purpose, wanted that sense of differentiation between Eden and Xander on the run…and their lives after the fact. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I don’t like to give you all the answers from the get-go. Everything has its time and place.
Excitement, strife, shock, and copious amounts of love await you… Are you ready?
A few words to keep in mind…
“Love, however, cannot be forbidden.
The more that flame is covered up, the hotter it burns.
Love will always find a way.
It was impossible for these two hearts
whose souls were on fire to be kept apart.”
-Edith Hamilton
In the last installment of The Scarsi Family Series…
“Ready?” I whispered, and Xander squeezed my hand.
Inhaling a deep breath, I pushed open the door and peeked my head down both sides of the hallway. The coast was clear, not a soul in welcomed sight. I hoped like hell security was congregated up front, but if that were the case, it wouldn’t be for long. They each took turns patrolling the perimeter every hour or so.
Tugging on Xander’s hand, I hooked a right and led us to the door at the very end of a hallway that opened up to the extended parking lot on the side of the building. We trailed its length in silence, my eyes peeled and ears listening intently for even the slightest movement. When we made it to the end without incident, I breathed a sigh of relief and pushed open the exit, the cool October air slapping us in the face.
“Hey!” yelled a deep voice from behind us, and the hairs at the nape of my neck rose to attention.
Fuck!
“Come on!” I pulled Xander’s hand once more and together we hightailed it down the steps and across the lot to where my family’s SUV sat parked. Pulling the fob from my pocket, I unlocked the doors and ran straight for the driver’s side as Xander bolted to the passenger side. Once inside the Tahoe, I rammed the key into the ignition and threw it in drive, just as the security guard came running toward us, his arms flailing in the air.
Not today, Satan.
Stepping on the gas, I peeled out of the lot, missing him by the swipe of a head, and raced toward the harbor.
“Where are you going?” Xander asked, throwing on his seatbelt.
“We can’t go out the front. They'll never let us out.”
“So then how are we getting out?”
“We have to go around,” I said, bracing myself. “Hold tight, it's gonna get bumpy.”
Xander reached for my hand. “I have a feeling this entire adventure is going to be bumpy.”
My eyes flickered to his, then back to the road. “Me too.”
“You sure you're ready?”
“One-hundred percent.”
“How do you feel about the beach?” he asked, and all I think was, “What?”
“That I like it?” I said, though it sounded more like question.
“Then head to JFK. I have a plan.”
He has a plan?
He had a plan.
And I rolled with it blindly because I trusted him. Because I loved him.
Now all I could do was stand beside Xander as we prepared for the fight of our lives. Because when my father realizes what I've done, we’ll have gone from the hunter…
To the hunted.
Location: Ponce, Puerto Rico
6 hours after fleeing the country…
The warm morning sun cut through the trees in bright slivers as Xander and I sat in the back of the taxi on our way up the mountain. I didn’t ev
en know Puerto Rico had mountains this big, but that’s beside the point. The point is that this was all, apparently, part of Xander’s grand plan, the one I’d blindly agreed to when we sped away from the compound a few hours back. So, where were we headed, you ask? To his aunt’s house. To. His. Aunt’s. House.
Yeah—nervous didn’t quite cover how I felt in that moment. Not only was this the first member of his family I was meeting, but how was he ever going to explain our appearances to her? Well his, not mine. Aside from travel hair and the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep, I looked like I was ready to go about my day after a quick shower and a dab of concealer. Xander, however, was still in the same clothes he’d thrown on yesterday morning before we left our hotel, headed to that damned church for LeRoux. He was dirty, literally, his white t-shirt covered in soil and soaked through different spots in blood. His jeans were ripped and dotted with blood as well, face marred, both arms bandaged around his biceps. Thankfully, no one at the airport asked questions.
What in the world was his aunt going to make of this, especially with me by his side? Not to mention we were about to show up on her doorstep unannounced. From the moment he’d filled me in on what exactly the plan was—after we’d already boarded the plane—I knew this was a bad idea, but it was only then, as we neared closer and closer to the top of the mountain, that I realized what a terrible idea this really was.
What choice did we have though?
We weren’t safe in New York, or anywhere in the states, for that matter. Truthfully, we probably weren’t safe anywhere, but at least we’d gotten a head start. I’d pulled out every penny from my account too, which was likely to last us quite a long time if we played our cards right. How far we could go, I wasn’t too sure, when we’d need I.D.’s and passports to travel abroad. But logistics would have to wait for right now. It’s not like we could resolve much in the back of a cab.
Xander’s hand blanketing mine pulled my attention away from the lush scenery blurring past us and up to his fine face. A soft smile hiked up the corners of his mouth, and God, it killed me. My man was beat up, tired, maybe even a little scared too. And still, he was smiling. I smiled back to the best of my ability and took him in for the twentieth time since leaving the states.
The swelling to his eye had lessened a smidge, a nasty bruise now set in its place, defining the slash Alessio forced me to mark on the opposite side. Every time I saw it, tears stung my eyes. I could barely contain them, more so when I’d glance down at one of the bandages wrapped around his arm, beneath it that damned gunshot wound Alessio inflicted himself. Each wound was a painful reminder that not only had I hurt and allowed someone else to hurt the man I love, but also that my brother—the very one who used to be my whole world—was far more gone than I’d ever imagined possible. I’d known Alessio had issues, we all did; deep-rooted ones no one believed he would ever overcome. But this, this was almost inconceivable, an avenue that should’ve been beyond farfetched from any probable reality. Yet here we were, and I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to forgive Alessio ever again.
“Don’t you dare,” Xander said to me, his brows furrowing at my quivering lip. “Don’t, Angel.”
“I can’t help it. Every time I look at you, I…” I trailed off, shaking my head.
“I know, but it wasn’t your fault.”
“I should’ve been stronger.” My voice quaked as I stared out the window once more, because damn it, I was mad too.
I was so mad at myself.
Disappointed.
Ashamed.
I didn’t deserve this man. Not one tiny bit. And I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew that? Did he know how much better he could do? How much happier he could be? Really, the more important question was how could he love me? How could he love me after all of this?
Setting my hand to his face, Xander pressed my thumb against the tear engraved on his cheek, bringing me back into the moment. The blood that’d dried there was rough beneath my skin, rolling an ice-cold shiver down my spine.
“This will go away, baby. All these battle scars will. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, but the memory of how they got there won’t,” I whispered, squelching down the sob threatening to break free.
Try as I might though, guilt leaked in silent streams down my cheeks. I wiped them away as quickly as they fell, my eyes darting nervously to the rearview mirror. I was paranoid, a feeling I’d not ever been familiar with in the slightest. But could you blame me? The last thing we needed was to attract the cabby’s attention more than we already had. I’m honestly surprised he’d agreed to drive us up here at all, although I assume it’s because he was going to make a pretty penny off our fare. Regardless, I didn’t want my emotional distress drawing his interest back here. If we had any hope of staying off the radar, we had to keep things lowkey, our outward appearances included. Thankfully, his eyes were firmly trained on the narrow, winding road ahead rather than back here.
Xander swiftly tipped my chin then, turning me back toward him. The look in his brown eyes was more intense than I’d ever seen before. Pulling me flush into his side with his good arm, one lone finger traced the delicate line of my jaw.
“We have so many amazing memories to make yet, Eden. So fucking many. I guarantee you once all this is said and done, you’ll forget about it like it never happened. We’ll forget all about it like it never happened.”
I scoffed softly. “Memories, good or bad, can’t be forgotten, X. Repressed, yes, but never forgotten. It’ll always be there in the back of my mind, taunting me with the fact that I let my brother do this, that I let him win.”
“That’s the thing, Angel; he didn’t win. I know it feels that way right now given where we are and what we’re doing, but he didn’t win. He’ll never win. I won’t allow it.”
If only it were so simple.
The reality, no, the severity of our situation slammed into me again as though I’d face-planted into a glacial pool, my entire body stinging from the force of impact. I’d betrayed my family to be with this man. He’d left his mother, again—his very ill mother, who knew only somewhat about me and probably hated me with every last fiber of her being. The odds were undoubtedly against us and I think what shredded me most was knowing we had no business being together. I’d known it all along, since the night I spared his life, but I’d shoved it away because surely love would see us through, right? Wrong. Nothing would see us through when it was forbidden.
Because that’s exactly what this was.
Our love was forbidden, unacceptable, and I’d selfishly condemned us both. Had I just walked away after letting him live, we wouldn’t be in this God-awful predicament right now.
But there was no turning back now…
As briskly as those anguished tears had begun rolling down my cheeks, I found my face nestled in one of his large hands, brown eyes desperately searching mine as he wiped them away.
“What are we gonna do when they come for us, Xander?” I asked, subconsciously clinging to his arm like a lifeline.
“I don’t know, Angel, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, let’s just try to enjoy our time here, okay?”
He was right, I knew he was. Fretting over the unknown was pointless. Life—or fate, I should say—didn’t care much for our plans anyway. It did its thing whenever the hell it wanted, and right now, meeting Xander’s family was at the top of this fucked up list. My stomach roiled. I wasn’t ready for this, or at least it felt that way. I’d never been this serious with a boy. With a man. But we’d just left behind everything we’d ever known to be with one other, so why the hell was this playing on my nerves so much?
“You think your aunt will let us stay with her?” My question was barely audible.
Still, my man smiled and tipped his dark head. “The second I tell her why, yes.”
My eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t possibly think regaling her with everything that’s led up to this point is a good idea…”
/>
“I’m not gonna tell her everything, baby, but I have to give her something. I’ll just throw her the essentials without going into all the gory details.”
“Oh my God, she’s going to hate me,” I muttered, burrowing my face in his chest.
“Relax, Angel, seriously. She’s the most laidback woman in the world, and I know for a fact she’s going to love you.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because even though she and my mom are only half-sisters, they’re identical personality-wise. My mom already loves you.”
I tilted my head enough to shoot him a glare from the corner of my eyes. “Oh please, don’t even go there.”
“I’m serious.” He laughed. “No, it’s not something she’s come out and said aloud, but she knows you make me happy, and if I’m happy, she’s happy.”
“That’s absurd, Xander, seriously. I uprooted you from her life, dragged you down the coast for a month. Now we’re on the run from my family and she doesn’t even know that yet. What do you think she’s going to say when you call her and fill her in? ‘Oh, I totally understand, son. Have fun and don’t get caught. See you soon.’ Yeah, right.”
“You let me worry about her. She’s going to be just fine once I get her on the phone. Let’s get through one obstacle at a time. Think you can do that for me?”
I nodded, though I didn’t think I’d actually be able to follow through.